Working at the sex shop really did rewire my brain. There was basically no topic that was too taboo to talk about, and what little propriety I’d had evaporated. I’d be out walking and chatting with friends about erotica I’d had to read that day only to be shushed and realize people were staring at me.
It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.
But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.
I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube (I was telling my horror story) and my nana asked, “What’s that?”
I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”
There was a silent beat after this statement.
I looked up.
My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.
And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.
“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.
“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.
I slipped them each a small bottle of silicone lube for the holidays.
In Every Winter Night, Part 1 (Marry My Husband Fanfic)
Author's Note: Starting at the end of Ep 10, this fic explores their growing romance and physical relationship, overcoming the trauma she's had from that horrible ex that will not be named.
Part 1/4
--
Ji Hyuk could hear the words of Ji Won’s confession, but after she said she wanted to be ‘honest’ his lungs just froze. Ji Won’s lips kept moving, saying good things, wonderful things, but they came filtered to him, a tinny sound at the end of a long chamber. The rest of his mind was processing her presence in his home, her closeness… and her approaching lips.
A tiny corner of his brain registered her tentative kiss. The rest was a clashing battle of roaring yearning and iron resolution to stay away from her, so he wouldn’t have to make her suffer with his early passing. Too soon she was retreating, her fingers sliding off his neck in disappointment, her body turning away.
A loud NO in his mind broke through the cacophony of wants and needs. A heartbeat later, they were a tangle of hands and lips and heart and mouth. Nothing mattered, nothing could matter.
They crashed into the wall, driven by the urgent need for more, more contact, more skin, more fire, just more. Vaguely, Ji Hyuk knew he needed to get to a horizontal surface, somewhere, anywhere, but the repeated press of her sweet curves was robbing his mind of direction and aim. Then she shifted, hitching up a hip on the low dresser, opening up her legs and suddenly he was perfectly pressed up against the crotch of her white jeans. He hardened, impossibly more, and almost howled into her mouth. It came out an anguished growl. She moaned, and it was better than in his sweaty dreams. In those dreams he had made that last thrust, had imagined the burning hot slide and the slick reception he would receive.
What he had not imagined was the tremor in her arms and her tinny whimper. He froze. His restless hands stilled. Something was wrong. Cupping her shoulders, he leaned back, and peered into her eyes. Even half perched on the dresser, Ji Won’s head only came to his nose, and he had to bend over to get a good look.
He caught a short, damp glance before Ji Won lowered her eyes. Her slim fingers grasped bunches of his chunky sweater at his shoulders, and an unwilling tear trickled down her cheek.
Waves of panic hit him. “What did I do, Kang Ji Won, tell me.” The arousal had made his normally smooth voice gravelly, and it came out harsher than he intended.
She gulped and he felt wrong, wrong and guilty. What a monster he had been to rush her, to all but molest her. She had initiated things, yes, but that was no excuse…
He pulled back to give her space “I’m so sor—”
Immediately her hands tightened and she locked her legs around his thighs, pulling them back into full contact. Hot streaks of sexual tension burst as his cock came so near to her entrance he could feel her heat. The white jeans were a sexy, but effective barrier. He grit his teeth against the urge to thrust his hips forward.
“No, no, don’t…I just… it’s… ,” helplessly Ji Won looked up at him. The words could not form, and her eyes pleaded for understanding.
He had not been her friend for long. But he’d watched her, for years, quietly and painfully. In recent weeks he’d even had the joy of listening to her, understanding her dreams and her new resolve to be a different woman. Now, as during those long hours in the office, he examined her minutely. His assessing gaze took in the contradiction of her teary eyes but her legs determinedly gripping him, her lingering shakes but clutching hands. Then came a suspicion that perhaps he wasn’t the source of the problem. That she possibly wanted him as much as he craved her.
Experimentally, he grasped the hand still curled into his sweater, and locked his eyes on hers to check her response. Gently, he touched his lips to her inner wrist. That made her shudder too, but he was satisfied at the lack of alarm in her eyes. Whatever it was terrorizing her, it wasn’t him.
“Come, we need to talk.”
He placed her arm around his neck again, and in one easy move, slipped out of the grasp of her thighs, then turned and lifted her into his arms. He wrapped one arm securely around her back, the other under her knees, and he turned towards his living room.
Ji Won gasped at the sense of being completely surrounded by Ji Hyuk. Then she relaxed, trusting him and taking the comfort offered by the embrace of his wiry male body.
---
“Tell me.”
He thrust the glass with half a finger of whiskey in it at her. She glanced first at it, then at him.
After plopping her down, he’d purposely turned to his bar to fix her and himself a drink, and to give her a little space to compose herself.
Uncertainly, she took the drink. Ji Hyuk sat down kitty corner to her, so that he could look into her eyes as she talked. He didn’t touch her, although a part of him wanted to draw her back into his lap and carry on where they had left off. As before, at the beginning of this mad journey into the past, Ji Won looked wounded. As before, he wanted, no, he needed to tend to her first. So he waited, patiently, a frown curling his wide brow.
Ji Won gazed, unseeing, at the twinkling frosty cityscape exposed by his panorama windows. Her lips twisted in a bitter curl.
“I didn’t get a venereal disease from that man… but I guess he still had to leave me with something.”
Ji Hyuk stiffened at the mention of the serial cheater that was Park Min Hwan. The next second, he wanted break something. It should have been obvious that she had scars from that fool. His only excuse for not realizing earlier was that his judgement had been destroyed by the wonder of Ji Won’s kiss.
“He hurt you. Sexually.”
Ji Won jolted a bit at the blunt frankness of his words.
“Were you forced to have sex with him?” He could barely say the words past his clenched teeth.
Ji Won shook her head, slowly, then a little more certainly. “In a way, that’s more difficult to admit. I thought I loved him. So I… went along.” Ji Won closed her eyes, in shame, in sorrow.
“But I don’t think there was a time when I didn’t hate myself a bit more after.”
She heard him shift a little closer, felt the dip in the sofa as he leaned forward. Then she felt the warm clasp of his hand, wrapping her smaller hand almost completely in his. His body heat penetrated the fog of her awful memories and she marvelled. Marvelled at how good it felt, how much she already trusted this man despite confirming their feelings a few short minutes ago.
“Then let’s do something about that.”
Ji Won opened her eyes to stare into his intense gaze. “What do you mean?”
The left corner of his mouth tipped up, and the little dent she already loved so much formed. “I’m a man with a plan Ji Won-shi. It’s what I do.” He lifted his free hand and gestured to himself. “This old man does earn a living by running an organization.”
His smile faded. “Let me date you,” he said earnestly. “Let me treat you the way a man should treat a precious woman. I want to praise and pamper you until you cannot doubt how much you’re worth. Let me touch you, pet you, make love to you. Please.”
Ji Won already felt her insides heating at his words. Her inner muscles clenched once and she licked her lower lip. His eyes immediately darted to her lips. Watching her reaction carefully, he gave her an open-mouthed, frankly sexual kiss. His tongue darted out to taste her soft lower lip, sweeping a little deeper each time. She uttered a tiny moan, already wondering if she could handle being the focus of the intimidating man that was Yu Ji Hyuk.
“And when you’re ready, I’ll show you what I really want to do with that white jeans of yours. ”
---
May I request a john smut in which, despite being the cocky beast that he usually is, he manages to get all gentle and intense when, after years of mutual pining, he finally makes love to ada's best friend who's younger and totally inexperienced. Idk I just need this to be fucking intense, like John suffocating his desire for ages and now finally indulging in his worst temptation and showing her what lust is... please i'll burn in hellll
a/n: first of all let me say: this killed me. like, it’s literally all i can think about. god help me. but thank you so fucking much for requesting this bc i liked it sooo much that i decided to make a mini series out of it with the help of my babe @stxdyblr-2k who was sweet enough to offer to ghostwrite on the series 🥰 and to all my other angels who requested fics, don’t worry i will get them done! just wanna give you guys the best quality work i can. my 1st priority are some tommy requests i got, as well as some michael ones after :)
love, abi xxx
whiskey business - john shelby x reader (1 of ?)
warnings: nsfw! eventual smut, slow burn, john being sexy as all hell but also soft
John couldn’t tear his eyes off of you. From the moment you walked into the Garrison, arm loosely linked with Ada’s, clad in a black lace dress that hugged you just right, he couldn’t stop staring. Even Tommy and Arthur had noticed, cracking some joke about him being pussy whipped. The words floated right over his head, his mind on one thing only. The last time he had seen you, you were barely eighteen, cheeks pink as you waved goodbye out the train window to Ada as she sobbed. Ada had always had a flair for the dramatic, but the two of you had practically been attached at the hip your entire lives. So, he consoled her, reminding her that university wasn’t forever, that you would be back soon enough. And back, you were, red-stained lips sipping at a glass of something that Ada had practically shoved in your face. You weren’t a girl anymore, black heels crossed at the ankle as you sat across the room in a booth, laughing as Ada waved her arms, telling some sort of story.
“Just fuckin’ talk to ‘er, John-boy,” Arthur’s voice cut through John’s train of thought like a sharp knife, and he focused his eyes on his two brothers sitting at the booth across from him, clouds of smoke from Tommy’s incessant smoking heavy in the air around them.
“Fuck off,” John returned as he stood, earning a chuckle from Tommy.
“That’s right,” Arthur shouted as John made his way towards the bar, rolling his eyes at his older brothers. “Make sure you show her a real good time, eh?” Arthur’s voice was soon drowned out by the crowd around John, as they parted to let him walk through. He didn’t even see them, his eyes trained on your smile. Fuck, you were pretty.
***
“So, then I fucking kicked him in the balls.” Ada’s eyes sparkled triumphantly as she recalled the time she’d incited a riot, managing to cause great injury to a certain part of a policeman’s body. She did so casually, like it was no big deal. You couldn’t control your laughter as Ada grinned, pleased that she’d been able to make you laugh. “Fuckin’ missed you, Y/N,” she professed, shooting the rest of her gin and gesturing at the bartender to “leave the fuckin’ bottle, already.”
“Missed you too,” you smiled back at her, happy to be back in Birmingham in the company of an old friend. London was beautiful, but lonely. There was something inside you that missed the dirty streets, the crowded pubs bursting with familiar faces.
“Had to come over here myself to make sure it was you,” A deep voice interrupted your reverie and you looked up to see none other than Ada’s older brother John, looking even handsomer than the last time you’d seen him, in a grey-three piece suit, a cigar hanging from his lips. You’d had the hugest crush on him growing up, and the butterflies swimming around in your stomach seemed to confirm that you still found the tallest Shelby brother irresistible.
“Hi, John,” You offered him a shy smile and scooched over as he slid into the booth next to you, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your cheek. You couldn’t help but drink in the smell of his cologne, the various drinks that Ada had encouraged you to down making you press yourself closer to him.
“M’kay, if you’re going to fuck, at least wait until I’m gone.” Ada’s voice snapped you out of it and you looked away, a pink blush staining your cheeks.
“Says the one who managed to fuck three of my best mates before you left school,” John retorted, causing Ada to roll her eyes, shooting her whiskey and pouring the three of you another glass each.
“I feel like getting drunk, and I’m not doing it alone,” Ada announced, causing both you and John to crack a smile at her forcefulness.
“Good thing we took a cab here,” you returned, before shooting your whiskey. If you were going to have to stare at John all night, you thought, you might as well be drunk doing it. Wasn’t like he was going to be staring back.
***
Ada was shitfaced, dancing in the middle of the pub. Luckily, Isaiah had stepped in as her partner, making sure her stumbling didn’t cause her to trip and fall. Unluckily for you, this left a tipsy you and John alone tucked into a booth in the corner of the room, out of view. The conversation was friendly, and you were trying your best to keep your mind off the way you could see John’s forearms practically bulging out of his suit. It wasn’t fair, you thought to yourself, for him to walk around looking like that. Especially when you knew that he was probably fucking the latest movie star, or something. It was almost impossible for you to keep your head straight, yet you managed to keep it civil. However, you couldn’t help your gaze from drifting to his lips. God, they were so pink and looked so soft, it was unfair. You couldn’t stop yourself from imagining how they’d feel on your mouth, let alone other parts of your body. Jesus, you were fucked.
A third of a bottle of whiskey later, you couldn’t help but let yourself slide closer to him, heart beating fast in your chest as you sat tucked into his side, his arm around you as you laughed at a joke he’d made, something about the stick up Tommy’s ass. Your eyes shone as they met his blue ones, his arm sliding down until his fingers were brushing against your waist, radiating heat into your skin.
“Y’know, I’d tell you how fuckin’ pretty you look tonight, but I think you already know that,” John rumbled into your ear, lips just barely brushing against your neck. Your breath hitched, and he noticed, a small grin spreading across his lips.
“You’re something else, you know that?” You shot back, a small smile threatening to take over your lips.
“M’not just sayin’ that. Couldn’t take my eyes off ‘ya, since you walked in.” John wasn’t kidding. For a second you didn’t know how to reply, staring up at him with a slight look of disbelief. The whiskey, however, had other plans, and had decided to respond for you.
“Can't keep your hands off me now." You smirked, waiting for him to escalate the moment, anticipation and liquor silencing the blaring alarm in your mind. God, you shouldn't want him as badly as you do.
"Can you blame me?" He muttered, dragging his fingers across the lace of your dress, tracing the pattern's loops absentmindedly, watching your jaw tense and lips part to take a gasping breath, your jacket having long vanished into the chaos of the pub. Your arms wound themselves around his neck, fingers twisting into his short hair. "Fucking come 'ere lass."
His strong arms lifted you onto his knee, gripping a thigh to help you balance, the friction of his rough hand against the stiff fabric pushing your dress up slightly. The need for more and the desire to know him completely intoxicated you far more than anything from a bottle; you'd never felt as though you were on fire from your drunk hookups. His fingers found the zip of your dress, tugging it down desperately, gripping the flesh of your exposed shoulder blades. A small groan erupted from your lips as you felt him chuckle below you, pressing a thumb to your lips to quieten you.
"John," you whined, pouting playfully against his thumb.
"I'll sort you out, I swear," He muttered, slipping his thumb between your lips. Instinctively, you sucked, locking eyes with him, his hand straying from your back to roughly grab your jaw, holding your gaze. "But if you're going to scream your 'ead off, we'll get caught."
"You wish you could make me scream, John-lad."
"Come off it, I could ruin you, Y/N." He stated, lifting your jaw, as though memorising the construction of your face, tone brimming with a cocky confidence only John could make attractive. "You want that?"
"More than anything." The words tumbled out of your mouth thoughtlessly, watching how his jaw tightened in response as you attempted to read his expression. He studied you for what must've only been a few seconds, but the moment passed so slowly, you could barely remember what it felt like to not be examined by his dominating blue eyed stare.
His grip guided your face to his, fingers tilting your chin so John's lips could brush against yours, before pulling you into a heated almost aggressive kiss, the straps of your dress barely grazing your shoulders, the hem of your dress bunching around your waist as he reached down your back to grab your bum in a firm squeeze. Your mouth gaped open in a gasp of pleasure, John taking the moment to run his tongue against your lips, gaining access and deepening the kiss. You were so caught up in the thrill of John's seduction that you hadn't noticed his hand suddenly pull away after moving your skimpy underwear to one side. You had instinctively ground your hips against him, he'd broken the kiss to let out a string of curses, complimenting you through his quickening breaths (“Fuckin’ wet for me already, aye?”), gripping your thigh. But as soon as he had pulled the thin silk from your thighs, the atmosphere shifted, his lip curling in frustration as his hands left your skin as though your flesh was suddenly scalding.
"John?" You prompted, resting a hand on his shoulder, noticing the dark shadows under his eyes for the first time.
"It's getting late."
"What?" Your voice sounded high and whiny, you mentally scolded yourself for sounding so needy. It was embarrassing to be rejected by the man you've admired for many years, but even worse to be openly vulnerable and so pathetic in front of your best friend's brother.
Ada.
Oh fuck.
Realisation hit you, it was either that or the unholy quantity of alcohol you'd downed which turned your stomach. You had gone too far this time. It was one thing to flirt with John and desire him from a distance, it was an absolute betrayal to have sex with him, knowing Ada's insecurity about being used to get close to her gangster brothers- sex, power and politics. You had sworn during those tearful walks around the canal that you'd never hurt her. You couldn't do that to her.
Your sudden panic must've been obvious, you tried to stand up from John's lap, stumbling slightly, only regaining balance due to a sudden arm across your back, anchoring you upright.
"No one has to know. It's our secret yeah?" He muttered into your ear, his words comforting.
You nodded silently, the reality of the situation settling in. Your hands are shaking by your sides, John catches them, locking his fingers with yours.
"It's fine, now. Nothing happened yeah?" He stood up in front of you, his muscular physique looming before you, the creases across his torso reminding you that just a few minutes ago his body was under yours, he was breathless, needing your skin against his, desperate and vulnerable. "I'll zip you up. Turn around."
His hands dropped from yours to fumble clumsily with your zip, struggling in the gloom and fog of intoxication, he eventually succeeded, the lace clinging to the curve of your hips, waist, back and chest again. You wished it was him instead that was skimming your figure but you pushed the thought away with a simple, "Thanks."
"I'll walk you home yeah?" He offered, as he straightens your skirt and his tie, allowing you to fix his crumpled shirt collar and the row of shining buttons below his throat which you'd ripped open as he whispered dirty nonsense in your ear, smirking at how you arched your back and swore back at him through your moans.
"Isaiah already said he would, it'd be better for us both that way. You know how people around here talk." You replied, glancing at the mirror on the wall of the booth to quickly smooth your tousled hair. Despite only recently returning to Small Heath, you'd already encountered the rife gossiping and quickly realised your neighbour was incapable of minding his own business. "Nobody has to know, right?"
John nodded, disappointed but appreciating your rationale and quick thinking despite your state, "Right."
"Good night, John," You said politely, ignoring the tension in his tone and the sudden soft sadness of his eyes, turning your back and walking to the door. Back to the sticky dance floor, back to Ada, Isaiah, Finn, Tokyo, back to spilling drinks, ashing cigarettes, back to noise, safety and far from the man who made your morals vanish with the same lines he uses on probably every single one of his conquests. Fuck it. You were going to enjoy it, you sped up your pace in your heels, trying to ignore your shaking legs. You tried to ignore the guilty twang in your gut when Ada screamed your name across the pub and stumbled over, dragging some lad on her arm, pressing drunken kisses to your forehead and cheeks.
You couldn't help but look back to see his shadow sloping away into the darkness of the booths closer to the dance floor, being bullied mercilessly by his brothers you assumed. You watched him fake a smirk, take the knuckles to his brow from Arthur, snap an insult back to Thomas and settle into his rightful seat. You only shifted your gaze to Ada for a moment but when you looked back up, he was staring at you, jaw tense, icy stare burning into yours, arms folded on the table, the gold chains of his sleeve garters barely glinting in the dim light. He looked away but you could see his cheeks were flushed with blood even in the glow of the oil lamps.
Pretending nothing happened was going to be impossible.
Another point for why it’s important to own your own copies of music and media, and not use streaming services, is because the copy you own can’t be taken back.
(This is also a good time to remind people that yout*be to mp3 converters still exist).
please don’t tell me you guys are ripping songs one at a time for the quality and getting mp3 -_- here’s what you should actually do:
1. sign up for a free deezer account
2. download python if you don’t already have it
3. download deemix-pyweb for your os (r/deemix will have the link if this one breaks)
4. extract the zip, click on deemix-pyweb.exe, login in w/ your deezer arl in settings (it’ll tell you how, it’s very easy)
ta-da! now you can download multiple songs, albums, playlists, and entire artist catalogs at the same time! in mp3 or flac quality! all organized w/ album covers & info & everything else!
also, you can convert any spotify playlists you have to deezer ones using soundiiz, or thru deemix itself. enjoy! 🎵
let's talk about the way vincenzo pledges to avenge cha young's pain and always makes good on his promise.
"you want to get back at babel? i'll teach you how to become the villain they'll truly fear."
"you really want to win this case? just get me in the ring and the case is yours."
"you want me to go on a rampage and punish everyone involved with the killing of innocent people? keep your heart cold, we're serving revenge."
"you want to get rid of your father's killers? just wait a little longer till they stop being useful to us and i'll hand them to you on a silver platter."
"you want to slap prosecutor jung? let me ruin the rest of his miserable life."
there's just something so romantic in the way he always sees and helps her achieve the darkest, most murderous impulses of her heart. "you want to do something equally horrible to the people who hurt you? here are the hostages. here's the remote control. here's how we'll take their most precious thing away from them. i got it covered sweetie."
I was scared to death. Why didn’t you answer your phone? That’s what technology is for.
I didn’t want to put you in danger. I’m sorry.
And what if I am? We’re partners, so we should share the danger.
I have an intense love/hate relationship with slow burns and I’m so happy that Chayenzo was one of the ones that was done extremely well. Sometimes slow burns turn into will they/won’t they’s but I never felt that with them. It was always ‘they will but it’ll be difficult’.
I love how irrelevant tumblr is. like no celebrities on here, no colleagues or family on here, no one’s famous off tumblr or making money, tbh no ones even updating the site like is there even any staff? who knows? it’s bliss
make it happen. @chaoticbambi - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
