Chaotic Pro Tips

Former hunk, now on social media giving advice to tabletop gamers.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Got a rogue? Want to give them some good loot? Good, that's what I've got here.

-A key with evershifting teeth. When used on a lock, roll a d4. If 4, the key fits and can unlock whatever it was used on. Any other rolled number does nothing. Once the key has been used on a lock, it will not work on it again.

-A potion, that once taken, lowers the user's heart rate and lowers their temperature. Any attempt to pass as a dead body has advantage.

-A hand lotion that grants the user spectacular dexterity with their hands. All Slight of Hand skill checks are made with advantage.

-A small fishing reel that attaches to your wrist via leather strap. As a bonus action, you can reel back a weapon or item you attached the line to and have thrown.

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Have you wanted to have mundane, everyday objects but magical? Here's a few that can be added to any game to add flavour;

-Everbrush Broom. A broom that will perpetually brush up dust and dirt. It will continue pushing the same dirt in circles unless a dustpan is placed in front of it.

-Silencing Hankie. A handkerchief that silences any sound that pass through it if it is placed over a mouth. Often used by the pompous upper class.

-Shoe Cork. An enchanted cork that, once placed in a hole in a shoe, will expand and seal the hole.

-Evercold whiskey stone. A stone that is always as cold as ice. Often used and stolen from bars for their practical use.

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Have your players irritated a cook? Have they wronged a chef? Does this culinary master want revenge? Here are some magic items that may just make them a challenge;

-Hot Gloves. A pair of seemingly cloth gloves. When worn, you can hold onto any solid item of extreme temperature.

- Charmer's Spice. When attuned to this spice shaker, you have advantage on all CHA checks against a creature that ate the spice. The creature will also have disadvantage on all CHA checks against you.

-Slop Commander's Cauldron. When attuned, speak the command word to turn whatever edible food that is in the cauldron into a small golem. The creature can make simple actions and occupies a space.

-Nonslip Shoes. When worn, you are immune to difficult terrain created by liquid.

-Grease Bucket. When attuned, you can speak the command word to summon grease into the bucket. You can use this to create a tile of difficult terrain 10ft away from you.

[chaoticpro-tips]

In response to me being violently ill for a few days, here's a few illnesses you can plague your players with;

-Food poisoning. -1 CON and -1 DEX. Maybe that tavern food wasn't the freshest

-Noodle Arm. -3 STR. Your arms are about as strong as wet spaghetti, and probably caught from a mosquito

-Wench's Itch. -2 Dex. You know where you got it from

-Fungal Plate. +1 AC but -2 CHA and -1 DEX. Mushrooms grow off your hide, smelly but tough mushrooms

-Lampry Bite Fever. -1 CON +1 to all piercing Damage taken. Maybe you shoulda stayed out of those swamps

-Mind Plague. -1 INT and -2 WIS. A magical affliction that reduces your ability to think and use one's mind.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Are you having a vampire encounter soon? Do you want to make it more than just any other vamperic danger? Here are some items that your vampire lord could have;

-A pair of cufflinks. When worn and the command word is spoken, a Swarm of Bats is summoned from the sleeves to occupy the space directly in front of user.

-A floating disk. It follows behind the attuned user, blocking the sun from behind thus reducing their damage from Sunlight Hypersensitivity to only 5 Radiant Damage.

-Welcoming Ring. Allows a vampire to enter a residence after knocking without being granted permission.

-Unholy G-String. An ongodly abomination that allows the wearer to be immune to all effects from Holy Water, good or bad.

-Stilts. Not really magical, but it can pass though Running Water 5ft deep.

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Have your players wanted to have a beverage in a tavern or inn? Here are some options you can use as your menus;

-Water. Fresh, crisp, and clean water.

-Milk. Freshly squeezed from the tit.

-Juice. Freshly pressed fruit native to the region or town.

-An alcoholic beverage. Could be local wine or beers.

-'Water'. Looks like water, tastes like water but very viscose.

-Clam Juice. A delicacy in some harbors, revolting in other places.

-Lemonade. Suspiciously warm and frothy.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Has your party ever finished their overnight rest in and inn or roadside motel and ask what's available for breakfast? Here are some quick options you can hurl out on the fly;

-Eggs, bacon and toast. A standard yet robust meal .

-Baked beans, biscuits and jam. A strange, yet oddly satisfying meal.

-Grilled Cheese, Philly Cheesestake or BLT. Standard bar foods.

-Oatmeal and berries. A cheap and widely available meal.

-Chum. Used for nutrition and bait alike.

-Bone broth. A constantly brewing cauldron of broth filled with dubiously obtained bones.

-Slop. It's slop!

[chaoticpro-tips]

Tired of having your party meeting in taverns? Here are some options for alternative starting locations for you and your party;

-A party of a mutual friend. Could be a rager of a party or a masquerade

-A boat. Secluded and limited options for socializing, perfect.

-A sport competition. Wrestling, discus, or javelin throwing. Causing rivalry could develope great stories

-A prison. An escape lead by a group of players can end with amazing results.

-An orgy. Make it awkward, make it fun.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Tired of rolling dice on a table like a pleb? Here are some other ways to spice up your rolls;

-Use a dice tray. This'll stop your dice from going everywhere, very useful.

-Use a dice tower. This is a great way by removing most of the work.

-Dice cup. A cup is always fun and adds a rustic feeling.

-Put then in your mouth and spit them out. Nobody will want to steal your special dice.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Have you wanted to get your party to become closer? Or get each of them to have fun without playing a TTRPG? An art project like these can always be a great choice;

-Draw your character. Even if it's not pretty, it will show details you may not be able to describe.

-Design weapons. Your characters signature weapon needs life!

-Pretty up your map. Your players can really add to your world.

-Crossword puzzles. Any outbursts must be done in your characters voice and mannerisms.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Is D&D or another table top game you play getting stale? Do you long for something familiar, yet slightly different? Maybe try some of these house rules to breathe new life into your games.

-Accents. You gotta use your characters voice.

-Magic items. Everyone starts with one, even just a little trinket.

-Ever evolving world. After your campaign is done, hand the world off to a player and let them add on to this world.

-Dress up! Play as your character, extra points if done with the first one.

-Die in the game, die in real life. Raise the stakes!

[chaoticpro-tips]

Have you ever wanted to pull "IT IS ACTUALLY A MIMIC" on your party? Here are some items that could be a mimic for your party to encounter:

-A chest. A classic and always fun.

-A door. Lesser used, always a suprise!

-A lever. Always fun to have a trap on your trap's solution.

-A bed. Shady innkeeper feeding his pet.

-A ring. What's another lost finger to an adventurer?

-A player's horse. They'll never see it coming and it'll add transport problems!

-The maiden your Bard is trying to woo. Bastard deserves it.

-A toilet. A porcelain throne. Catch them when they're vulnerable.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Have you ever been running through town, doing your daily misdeeds, when suddenly you're stopped by lawmen or guards? Here are some quick tips on how to get away;

-Bribe them. Spend some of that ill gotten wealth.

-Intimidate them. If you're big, this may be the way to go.

-Trick them. Perhaps a mistaken identity

-Seduce them. Use your natural assets to avoid a harsh sentence

-Murder. Murder hobo is always the way to play!

-Challenge them to a game of riddles. Hit 'em with the ol "Whats in my pocket?"

-Distract them. What's that over there?!

-Run. Leave the slow halfling so you can get away

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Have you ever been caught off guard when a player asks what's in a ration? Here are some quick options to spurt out on the fly:

-Jerky, nuts, roots, dried veggies and dried berries . A very robust meal.

-Salted meat and breads. Not much variety, but its plenty to eat

-Sweets and some tea bags. Licorice and hard candies may not be nutritious, but its candy!

-A pod, which you drop into water to create a pot of bread. Once dropped in, it slowly expands to fill the pot. It's a lot of bread, may not be able to eat it all.

-Fish food. A large jar of flakes meant for fish. Probobly enough for one large meal.

[chaoticpro-tips]

In need of transportation? Horses are a great way to cover a lot of ground real fast and end up saving you time so you can adventure more! Here are a few pro tips on how you can get a horse:

-Buy one. Support local businesses!

-Steal one, cause fuck local businesses!

-Ride your druid whilst they're polymorphed.

-Ride your druid.

-Have your druid polymorph into a horse and sell him to a stable. Once in, have your druid stage a breakout, freeing all the horses for you to use.

[chaoticpro-tips]

Did your party just stumble across a corpse in the wilds? Here are a few options involving your newfound friend to spice up your game:

-Leave it. Not your responsibility to clean it up

-Loot it. Waste not, want not and all that

- Bury it. A respectful way of disposal

-Burn it. It's like a burial, but spicy

-Eat it. Save a ration

[chaoticpro-tips]

If your party needs to ferry or take a ship anywhere but don't want to pay, here are some other options:

-Offer to do manual labor on the ship and pay less

-Sneak aboard and hide below deck for the duration of your trip

-Build your own boat

-Cause an incident with the ship hands so the captain will need you

-Light the dock on fire. Steal the boat in the panic