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tiredtiredtz

🩰POISED FOR PLEASURE🩰

ACT SIXTEEN - CHAPTERS 145-155 (WIP)

OUT NOW

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55539646/chapters/140952679

charliestardst

No idea how excited I am!!!! My family just had to hear me screem

tide-locked

i feel like people forget that sometimes characters in fic are written like that because it's a reflection of real life.

people have sex without setting boundaries. people have unprotected sex without talking about their sexual histories or producing recent sti tests. people play with kink without discussing it ahead of time or establishing a safeword. they have anal without 'enough' prep or lube—they may even prefer it like that.

and none of this is really a fantasy. it's all pretty normal. you can feel that it's inappropriately normalised, and you'd probably be right! but it is normalised: one study found that 58% of female undergraduate students on the campus studied had been choked during sex. 20% of those students said that they'd never been asked if it was ok; another 30% said they'd only sometimes been asked if they consented. fully half! (non-paywalled journal article on choking during sex here, including these numbers.) despite a rise in stis of all sorts, condom use is declining. (pdf link to the full text of this study about declining condom use in the us; aidsmap article about an australian study with similar results.)

even when people do talk about things—sex or anything else—they communicate imperfectly. 'yeah, but don't go too far' is consenting and setting a boundary, and also relying that the person you're talking to has the same metric for 'too far' that you do. for some people, 'the trash needs to go out' is a neutral, factual observation; for others, it's a request that the person they're speaking to take out the trash.

even when people understand each other perfectly, people react unpredictably to things sometimes! we behave irrationally! people laugh uncontrollably at funerals, or get angry at the straw that broke their back rather than the enormous load they were already carrying. they get scared and lash out at people trying to help them. when hurt, most people do not instinctively reach for therapy-approved grounding exercises and 'i feel' statements.

pretty much any bad choice that characters could conceivably make is a choice that people make in real life, on purpose, all the time. people do things that can have catastrophic, life-changing effects because it felt like a good idea at the time, or they're leaning into the vibe, or they just didn't think about it all that much, or an infinite number of other reasons.

fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible ways to live your life, and fanfic isn't any different. it's not a narrative flaw to let characters do things that are messy or harmful or downright stupid—it's a reflection of what people are actually like, and not something that authors should feel they have to apologise for.

tide-locked

i am obsessed, in the most derogatory way possible, with the people in the notes who are reading this post and then saying, well, those stats you're pointing at are why you have to make it clear in fiction that they've had a conversation about Consent And Safety. if you don't tell people to use condoms, if you don't tell people that it's not ok to choke someone without prior consent, if you don't tell people that they have to do these things Correctly, you're part of the problem.

so i will say it again: fiction is a reflection of life, but it is not real life. fiction does not have to set a good example. fiction does not have to be safe, sane, or consensual.

fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible way to live your life. if you read it looking for that, you are the problem.

"Every iteration of you is who I belong to." - Louis in #FindingPolaris

This is what support means. That no matter what you evolve towards, your person will love you irrespective, unconditionally. No matter if you change, your body changes or you go through crisis/transformation of identity. They will be there, their arms your home. Their chest your shelter.

My hope for everyone is that they will find a love that loves and accepts unconditionally.

@bottom-harry-ficfest Round 6

And by this I am not saying that if your person turns cruel or abusive that you must stay. Not at all. That is a completely different story on it's own. And I urge you if you are going through something like that where your partner has suddenly changed and you find yourself unsafe. PLEASE find someone to talk to or a place you can go for safety.

I am also here to listen, if you just want to vent.

#findingpolaris #fanfic writing #fanfiction author #ao3 #archive of our own #larry stylinson #larry fanfiction #change