separate from the rest, where I like you the best
drink up baby, stay up all night
with the things you could do
you won't but you might
The important people in his life are often crazy, that much is clear.
They’re different facets of each other, an interesting study in how the same person would turn out given the circumstances of different parents. That’s what he thinks, in the least, as they all seem to be pretty cannibals that devour men’s hearts as they come.
He lets out sounds of acknowledgement at their irritation as unwanted lovers harass them with words of pleas of no effect, and the roll of eyes as fingers wrap round glass after glass of red poison.
It makes him wonder, sometimes, if they would be happier if remains of lipstick cling onto his mouth instead.
the potential you'll be
that you'll never see
the promises you'll only make
“I’m glad you’re my sister,” are the words that spill from his mouth when dinner is lazily served as instant noodles, longings for carefully-tampered substances melting in their mouths discarded in favour of convenience. “I’d be obsessed with you if you weren’t.”
Victor stares as his sister’s eyebrow lifts delicately, her lips curving slightly as thick liquid runs over them without spoiling the carnivorous red it sports, eyes responding the way it would have never have if they weren’t related by blood. “That’s because we’re too alike, you narcissist,” she says, “Go and find someone else unrelated to you.”
He responds with silence, but his sister pats his hand in a way that says she knows he’s not over her yet, in a way that he knows she wouldn’t treat other guys because none of them is her brother.
If our hearts would feel anything other than the love of siblings, thinks Victor, life would have been too easy.
drink up with me now
and forget all about the pressure of days
do what I say and I'll make you okay
and drive them away
He doesn’t know how long he can tolerate the flow of unworthy men who attempt to cage his sister into the prison of marriage without threatening to dissect them after they’ve mysteriously fallen ill, because he’s never humoured any of their wishes to keep Victoria Blanc to themselves.
“How overprotective,” Victoria chuckles each time as she paints her nails the colours of death, which should have been enough to have fend off unknowing men trying to get under her sister’s skirts. “I will be married one day, you know.”
“Ah, but not yet. Not to men I dislike, Vickie.” His sister pokes lovingly at his forehead, corners of her lips twisting into a smile, but it’s obvious that she disapproves of his statement, regardless of the good intentions he harbours. “Not when you’re still in love with freedom. Why stop me? I’ll make things easier for you.”
Don’t base your outlook on my love life on yours; are the words that hangs in the silence between them as he rests his head on her shoulder.
He ignores the fact that her sister’s claws are as sharp as his, that he’s as damaged as her when it comes to his sister’s favourite game of possession when she presses a kiss to his head.
the images stuck in your head
People tend to be scarred if they mess around with their hearts too often.
The Blanc siblings aren’t an exception.
Maybe that’s why they spend most nights drinking. Runs in the family, after all.
the people you've been before
that you don't want around around anymore
He was discretion and control at 16; tentative and hesitant at 18; reckless and apathetic at 20.
Victor wonders where those parts of him had been, until he remembers that they disappeared with the woman when she laid in the arms of an older man, disappeared when Vickie went back to being the main focus of his life.
Now, he doesn’t know what he is anymore.
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
i'll keep them still
He remembers the taste of love as ethanol on his tongue some nights, when charcoal hair and pale skin is all he sees as he fucks strangers on unfamiliar beds.
drink up baby, look at the stars
i'll kiss you again between the bars
“I’m sure you’d be happier if you found someone to be with,” Laura says over a glass of water, a beautiful example of how a female friend of a deranged male should be like when he asks how to rid of the boredom in his life. “You’re on your way to being a doctor, cute, that’s basically what girls want in guys, I guess. I wouldn’t know.”
I’m already with my sister, is what he thinks but doesn’t say, for surely Laura wouldn’t understand that answer, the attachment you have to your sibling where the both of you were left to fend for each other and take care of yourselves without anyone left in the world to help. Not incestuous, but perhaps it would have been easier for the both of us that way.
His sister’s interests were forever in front of his, but he don’t think she reciprocates.
No matter, he supposes. The concept of finding someone that does is appalling, but it does make him happy –
Unless they want an older, richer man, of course, but who doesn’t?
where i'm seeing you there with your hands in the air
waiting to finally be caught
Laura’s a lesbian. Vickie’s his sister. Catherine is married. Sharon is dead.
People still wonder why he’s single. The effort that needs to be taken to find people as beautiful as they are would be too exhausting for him.
He’s better off looking out for his sister, who’s too busy looking ahead to notice that her high heels crossed the line of happiness.
Victor Blanc never fails to warn her, but she moves onward regardless.
drink up one more time and i'll make you mine
keep you apart, deep in my heart
separate from the rest, where i like you the best
and keep the things you forgot
He wishes that it was that easy to fall in love with someone. He knows his sister’s gone too far to head back, but she reminds him that he’s male, that everything’s easier when people have penises, but he thinks that it’s a blessing that she doesn’t feel love anymore.
At least somebody shares his loneliness. Was he selfish? Maybe.
But Victoria Blanc is his sister.
She could stop being somebody’s wife, or somebody’s girlfriend, but she’ll always be his sister, and that’s always going to be how it is, and the resemblance runs far too deep for any of them to deny it.
He doesn’t acknowledge how easy it would be for her to leave him as he is, someone who doesn’t have an identity rather than Victoria Blanc’s brother, but it’s easy to lie to yourself when there’s no one else to love.
the people you've been before
that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
i'll keep them still
between the bars - eliott smith
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
pixelskylines
gracieabrams
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
kianamaiart
jacobvanloon
snowghoul
