DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@charusu-blog
muscleheaded replied to your post: heyo i’m BACK, fuckers
good yes….. haha welcome back!! i like, super duper HYPER missed you!! >< we totally need to do a thing sometime!!
OMG YEAHH i missed u too xo xo... new tenga come to my arms.... BUT YES hmu if you wanna exchange the skypes and. maybe. talk about a thing we could play out. if u know what i mean ;) ;) i hate myself goodbye
heyo i’m BACK, fuckers
OFIMMORTALITY.
His lips remain curved upward in an almost cat-like grin, golden hues focused on her. He won’t argue that everyone has a different perception of pain & misery; after all, his idea of true suffering would be a lack of pain, something many people would deem a blessing, and while emotional masochists did exist, he himself didn’t find emotional suffering to be pleasant at all.
Or, rather, he didn’t find them as stimulating.
“If they cause solely physical pain, I’d be happy to experience all kinds of curses.”
‘ i must have not been clear enough for you. ’ his chesire smile was reflected back with an almost malicious gleam on ruru’s face. ‘ it wouldn’t be a curse if you enjoyed it, silly. why would i want to give you joy ? i’d be a pretty boring ghost if i just complied to your wishes. ’ she had nothing against the pretty boy. in fact, she’s thoroughly intrigued by his eccentric attitude. the reason behind his obsession with the idea of being surprised by immense shocks of pain wasn’t something that ruru was curious to discover from him, but rather she enjoyed his strange responses. strange was always nice. always fun. ‘ so, what would it be ? cursed to be mentally taunted for the rest of your life or carry emotional pain with you wherever you go ? ’ the irony being that there’s nothing in her power to induce an actual curse. she just loved the idea of scaring the shit out of people.
I had a hunch.
Yuta being smooth
IRADEI.
❝ Okay, but I think it might be unsanitary–. ❞ He is too tired & can’t walk around in his underwear anymore. Well, he could, but it’d be kinda awkward–. Ugh, he can’t do anythin’ anymore with a spirit girl in the apartment. You’d think with Hisomu as a roomie things couldn’t get much weirder. ( Has anyone given her the talk about not lettin’ that guy have sharp or blunt objects, or nah–? ) ❝ ‘M glad ya appreciate me bein’ tall & all that–. But wouldn’t it be easier to live with Honoka–? ❞ It was bad enough that their experimentation has somehow granted additional spirit sense. He drew the line at these spooky shenanigans; it took him forever to get used to her constant poppin’ outta the walls–! ❝ Hey–. Is it rude to reach through you, ❞ just curious– because he kinda originally wanted a glass of water.
eyebrows immediately furrow in awe of how the giant man was, of all things, worried about ruru’s hygiene. his concern was over the fact that a ghost would get her feet dirty. she can’t tell if she’s baffled or amused that maki decided to befriend these people.
the suggestion he offers was reasonably sound, but at the same time, was still a completely stupid thing to say. like most of what he says. ruru smiles, though, because even though he’s a big idiot, she can see what’s so charming about him.
‘ hey, it doesn’t take a genius to know that’s a pretty awkward situation. for crying out loud, i’m her dead friend. ’ friend was such a general term to call it, but that was probably how most of them perceived it anyway. ‘ —besides, this way i get to know new people. more the merrier, right ? ’ it wasn’t like she was a firm believer of that philosophy. she was just fine with one.
his question almost takes her off guard, but she responds to him with a sly smile and a catty retort. ‘ yeah, it’s no big deal. as long as you don’t, y’know, reach through the boobs. even if you won’t feel anything, it’s still pretty freakin’ creepy. ’
IRADEI.
♚「 𝓡URU–! 」
@charusu。。。
❝ Is there a reason you’re on the table–, ❞ also she should really cease these midnight shenanigans. He hasn’t been able to snooze properly the last two nights due to miss deceased & semi-luminescent.
‘ any reason for me not to be ? ’ the laws and customs of normal behaviour has been long forgotten when the girl no longer had a place in the world. however, even when she’s a fleeting ghost with no mark of existence in this world, the obscurity of her standing profusely on the table with a grin of pride wasn’t all that strange to her. alive or dead, she’d probably still be the same, old ruru. ‘ i need to somehow mark myself in this house, especially since there’s towers like you strutting around. and this way, ’ she signals to the table, ‘ we’re on the same level. ’
Everyone wants to connect with someone else.
VAINBRAND.
@charusu ♥’d for a starter || starter call.
A ghost. It definitely had to be a ghost. Brows furrowed into a tight ‘v’ line as his hand cupped his chin in thought. The figure did resemble Ruru, but… she had no reason to visit him, right? Unless she was going to curse him for trying to pursue Honoka-chan. Trying to stifle his fear by downing a gulp, he forced himself to crack a smile at the ghost.
“W-What a surprise… Ruru-chan, is it?” Yuta begun– feeling himself stiffen from trying to act the most pleasant. He would be a little more bewildered b the reappearance of Ruru as a ghost, but… with all of the things happening with the Kiznaiver project, he didn’t even have a right to be surprised at the supernatural. Carefully, he articulated his words, “I didn’t think I’d be worth visiting, but I’ll thank you for stopping by.”
‘ tsuguhito yuta ~ ’ the name tumbles off her lips following with a hum laced with intrigue. her pair of amber eyes meticulously examines the thin, lanky boy, almost as if she was an officer digging desperately for a decisive clue. so far, she could only notice the evident trembling that’s hidden terribly with a forced and strained smile. what a funny boy. so predictable.
it was almost humourous how such a vain and self-centered man can claim that he isn’t any worth for a simple visit from a ghost. almost baffling how easy it is to strip away his confidence and expose the anxious little kid who was always the last one picked because of how disgusting he was. men are so, so typical. ‘ i can call you tsugu-kun, right ? i think we’re both pretty familiar with each other by now. you know my story, i know yours. ’ her tone and voice are laced with her usual energy and eccentric vibe, but if one were to look deeper, they’d find that hint of malice. ‘ i’m always looking forward to meeting maki’s new friends. ’
GUDONN.
“I guess that wouldn’t really be very ideal…”
“Maybe just don’t do that?”
‘ … ’
‘ alrighty then ! i won’t make any promises since you never know what happens, but i’ll be considerate. just this once, though ! i had all sorts of fun things planned, y’know ? ’
K I Z N A I V E R 「 ★ 」
PRIDEBRAND.
Her brows are furrowed in expectation, and she wonders vaguely just how desperate was she, to hear Ruru’s voice again? She’s suppressed her emotions, honest she has, though when she recalls how kind the girl was, even after abandoning her, Honoka can’t help but feel a clench in her chest ( and she knows the others feels it too ). Her breath is caught in her throat, and she nearly turns around because, honestly, how foolish could she be? Ruru was gone. All those instances of hearing her was simply due to her crippling guilt and yet, she wished to see Ruru in the sweetness and kindness she so embodied during her time alive.
Though, when she hears her voice, the warm one that seemed to step out of her memories, Honoka wonders if this is a dream. Her prayers for a savior had been answered already and miracles don’t occur for someone already granted one. And yet, she feels hope, her feet that had been ready to propel her chair back around ceasing in their actions as Ruru appears before her, disappearing and reappearing as if she didn’t wish to be seen yet craved it all the same.
Lips that had been pursed fall open in shock, brows raised in utter surprise because surely, this was merely another figment of her imagination and god, god, did she miss her. The slope of her lips when confused and the way she wouldn’t meet her gaze when she was being indecisive— They’re habits she’s well acquainted to and for a moment, she refuses to think this could be the real Ruru but, it almost seems too like the girl to pull a stunt like haunting her ( literally this time, it seems ). With that thought in mind, Honoka lets out a scoff, and yet despite the sound, she smiles. It’s one of sadness and amusement with glints of pain within her dark irises.
❝ And you’re doing something worrying like appearing as a ghost? Even in death, some things never change. ❞
time stops and it doesn’t feel brief. it’s drawn out and agonizing and she can feel a tight grip around her ghostly neck. when the words fell off her trembling, anxious lips, it felt right for a second, like she’s done something that she should’ve done ages ago, but it’s when she hears a reply directed at her that changes everything. the regret is crawling over and under her transparent layers of skin, and it almost eerily resembles the moment when her first love rejected her and threw her away. not just regret over the impulsive action, but regret over her uncontrollable emotions for the only friend she had.
but the overwhelming, stirring feelings were bottled up and masked by her signature smile. ‘ shouldn’t i be saying that ? it’s not like i’m capable of changing after i’m dead, right ? meanwhile, you’re still reading the same kinds of books you’ve been reading since middle school ! ’ even when she’s internally experiencing a variety range of emotions, she still manages to have a sincere grin creep up on her as she teased her old, dear friend. she knows she’ll regret enjoying every second of this moment, but it was a drug. it gave her a guilty pleasure, but it was rather addicting. and being the selfish being she is, she brushes off her guilt and shame.
‘ hey... ’ her voice falters, and the following gets lost in the dreadful silence. ruru’s never reluctant. she faced her short-lived life acting on her impulses and desires, never once letting things become obstacles that are big enough to stop her. even when she knew she had very little time, she ensured that the time she had would be worthwhile. meaningful. and it was.
she’s dead now, though. she doesn’t know the right way to be now. to live was subjective, but what did it mean to die ? ruru’s last wish was to look after her and protect her, but to think that it meant for her to live on as a ghost had her at lost. for once in her history of experiences, she found herself to be unsure and aimless at what to do with her life. so she lifts her eyes to come in contact, full eye-contact — no wall dividing them, with the pair of hazel eyes behind the frames of glass. the sight of her smile burdened with sorrow has her choked up. ‘ can you... call me an idiot ? ’ she really missed her condescending tone.
hitokayamaguchi :
mom & dad taking care of their upset child
OFIMMORTALITY.
@charusu
“Please curse me; who knows what kind of pain would come from being cursed by an angry ghost! How exciting!”
what a weirdo. ‘ hmmm... ~ to be fair, curses have all types of pain. all kinds of curses. ’ her lips let out a mischievous giggle. ‘ misery is subjective. i’m sure you have your own concept of it. ’ the words fell out sharp, almost teetering on the edge of cynical, but it was all to be taken as a bluff. cursing people wasn’t her thing.
She sits at her desk, gaze preoccupied with yet another piece of literature. While she now has rather colorful people to fill the quiet of her life, Honoka always finds herself returning to words bound to a page, and while she may not seem as if she were the type, the worlds weaved together by another’s sentences always seems to entrance her. All that fills her ears is her own flip of the page ( something satisfying, seeing as she’s nearing this tale’s end ) and the gentle tapping she thinks she hears is but a mere figment of her imagination because she’s alone and she’s not tapping on the desk the way she does when she’s writing.
However, it fills the silence even as she reads, and she can’t help but feel a chill run down her spine. The sound resonates behind her, and with her being home alone, she knows it’s no one knocking upon her bedroom door. Though she should be afraid, the tension she feels relaxes because the air is warm and inviting and she knows this presence like the back of her hand. For a moment, memories fill her mind of herself sitting at this very desk and her sitting at the table that’s been long replaced by the new circular one. That spot has always been hers ( it’s why she asked to change it— the old one had her presence written all over it ).
It’s irrational, she knows, but something in her heart is telling her to look and see. The book is placed down, and with a deep and silent breath, Honoka turns her chair, gaze directly upon her space upon the floor. Her lips are pursed for a brief moment but soon enough, they part, her voice calling in a tone she feels she hasn’t used in association with her in ages.
❝ … Ruru? ❞
this is okay, she feels. amber hues never once stagger from their focus, her gaze almost bleeding into all the little details of the subject before her. to think that her existence now is unbeknownst to the woman adjacent from her was almost baffling, that no matter how heavy her gaze is on her, sharing eye contact for that brief moment was regarded as a simple pause in her life. a pause from the immersion she delved herself into, a pause from the fictional tales that she seemed to still keep a childish adoration for. ruru smiles, thinking that this is nice for now.
but she wonders if she’ll know. if she’ll ever realize that all the moments that she believed that she was gone, she was right by her side all along. it was something painfully bittersweet for ruru. on one hand, it gave the opportunity of moving on. to understand and accept the outcome. to heal. but ruru’s selfish, and she wants her to know that all the times she felt alone, her vanishing presence was by her side, for every second. she wanted her to know that she’ll always be there, but it’s all selfish and maki doesn’t deserve any of that. she doesn’t deserve ruru haunting her forever, whether it would be the knowledge that she exists ( technically not ) or that the memories will be stained in her mind forever. if she knew, she’ll never move on. if she knew, she could never forget about her.
so it’s almost revolting of how ruru is tapping her fingers against the desk, setting a messy rhythm with the audacity that could only be heard when absolute silence fills the air. and with just the two in there, the heavy quietness was almost suffocating. it caught her off guard when the bespectacled woman lifted her gaze away from the book and spoke a name that she thought she would never hear again. every logical, considerate non-existent bone in her non-existent body is screaming at her to resist a response, but when has ruru ever been those things ?
‘ ah, gee, maki. now you’ve gone crazy enough to talk to yourself ? hahaa... ’ her eyes cast downwards, with the confusion of wanting her to be ignored and the desire to speak with her again.
