An open letter to my ex boyfriend
Hello. Its been 2 weeks since we broke up. I am still praying and hoping about us getting back together. Nights had passed, I am always praying for you. For you to forgive me for all the things I have caused you. For all the hurts I gave. For the lies I said. For the trust I broke. For my imperfections and all. You know that I fight for us. I want you back, God knows how I really want you back. I am crying every night for making that mistake that caused you to be angry and to have that kind of pride, to the point you easily fell out of love for me. I wrote you letters even before the break up. I miss how I read those letters for you and you are just there listening to every word that you’ve heard. You are just right there, watching me reading those fckin letters and a smile and a kilig feeling that you always have. I miss seeing those things over a video call. I miss seeing you personally feeling those kiligs while I am being clingy towards you in public places. I miss how you hold my hand while walking. I miss how you stares at me and keep on telling me that you are one hella lucky guy because I am at your side. You are lucky because I let a guy like you have a chance to be my boyfriend.
Maybe I was too honest that day when you asked me if I do still have feelings for the guy who should not be named. Yes I still have that little feelings for him. But it doesn’t mean that I should choose him over you. You are the one who is there by my side. You are the one who treated me the way I should be treated. My love for him wasn’t enough to let what we have to go to waste. I did so many things with you that I never did to him. Every first experiences that I have was with you. Every beat of my heart is with you and I guess it will always be with you. I love you so much to the point I let my guard down. I let you in because you said you will never do things that will make me cry. I let you in because you said I don’t deserve to be treated like a trash by someone. I let you in because you told me that I should try things with you. You told me that lets try our luck by giving you a chance. I take our fling relationship into serious one because I know you are worth every risk. Because I know and feel that this relationship is worth everything. I told my self no matter what will happen to this relationship I will always fight for it, I will always hold on with you. Because I love so much and I want to stay with you forever. I fight for us a week before our break up. I fight for us the day we broke up. I fight for us the week after our break up. I fight for us until last week. I am still willing to fight for us the week after, a month after or a year after. That’s how much I love you.
All the things that I have hold on to was all vanished last night. I saw on your twitter account that you already have a girlfriend. It just wow, its been 2 weeks. Its just 2 weeks then you already found my replacement. Maybe I hurt you so much, to the point you already forgot all the memories and promises we both made to each other. I want to fight for us, but how can I fight for us, if there is someone who already won and already own you. It hurts me so much knowing you’ve already moved on. It hurts me so much knowing you are already happy with someone else. It really hurt me so much. It hurt me so much to the point I keep on asking my worth to every people I meet. It hurt me so much to the point I always keep on telling myself that I am stupid for being honest with you. It really hurt me so much. It hurt me so much to the point, my eyes doesn’t shed any tears because its tired from crying over you every night.
I maybe hurting right now, but I am still hoping and praying for you to find the happiness, the real happiness with her. I am praying that she will love you enough to at least lessen the pain in your heart because of me. I am praying that she will be your constant companion in everything. I am praying that she will support you in things you like, I saw how much she loves shoes. Mag kakasundo kayo. Mahuhulaan niya na lahat ng sapatos mo. She can ride all your shoes fashion sense. She can get along with it, I am sure. You can truly enjoy telling her about shoes and how it makes you happy. I am praying that you finally found the girl that will not hurt you, not cheat on you and someone who will never break your heart.
I guess this is where it ends. I am not ready to let you go but yeah I will do it now. I will slowly letting you go just like what you want me to do 2 weeks ago. Whoever or whatever makes you happy. Please know that I am happy too. I am always here supporting you even though we both take different paths in life. I will always be proud of what you will become as a person. I will always be proud of who are. For sure you dad will be proud of you too. Please don’t give your mom a headache. Please don’t be stubborn. Please always love kikay and tita. Always take good care of them because that is your dad’s wish. I know your new girl will be there for you as well. You finally found a girl at your age, just like what you told me. All I really want is for you to be happy. Please do take care and do good in school. Always aim for the best. Always make your family proud. Don’t ever let your new girl cry or sleep without fixing your problem. I know you can do things without me I know you are man enough to handle a relationship. I will be okay, not now but soon. I will finally pick up all the pieces of myself soon. I will love myself more. I will love God more. I will be praying for you, kikay and tita always. No harm done. I am sorry for everything, I am very sorry. I will get used with this. I will be happy again I know. You will see my genuine smile again. I promise.
I maybe letting you go, but it doesn’t mean I am not head over heels in love you. I will always love you. I will always love you from a far. I will keep this love from the bottom of my heart, so that if God will permit us to meet again and we are both better for each other. I will love you enough. I will love you fully. And I will never let you go again. My love for you will always be here. It will never change. I will see you again soon honey ko. We will see each other again, I love you so much, Advance Happy Birthday. Advance Happy Birthday to kikay. Till we meet again.
