* / 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕞𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕝𝕤 .

[chcmtrails]

*  /  𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚 𝐟𝐭. 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬 .

despite    trying    to    hide    whatever    absolute    chaos    taking    place    inside    of    his    head    ,    hoping    he    could    potentially    mask    some    of    it    ,    marcus    figures    he    must’ve    seemed    off    the    entire    night    .    surely    she    would    notice    how    his    smile    refused    to    quite    reach    his    eyes    ,    the    way    he’d    zoned    out    on    not    one    but    multiple    occasions    ,    or    how    his    hand    didn’t    seek    her’s    in    the    same    way    it    would    usually    automatically    gravitate    towards    her    like    some    magnetic    pull    .    he    feels    horrible    for    taking    her    out    as    planned    ,    it    all    seemed    cruel    now    ;    buying    tickets    to    see    the    movie    she’s    been    mentioning    ,    popping    by    her    favorite    ice    -    cream    parlor    after    ,    and    insisting    he’d    walk    her    home    in    familiar    fashion    ,    like    a    malevolent    plan    to    soften    the    blow    despite    it    being    everything    but    .    he’s    no    stranger    to    difficult    decisions    ;    his    mom    ,    his    younger    brothers    ,    his    whole    life    has    depended    on    him    being    able    to    step    up    and    make    the    right    choices    ,    yet    somehow    this    ,    isla    ,    weighs    more    heavily    on    him    than    anything    before    .    clearly    he’s    still    lost    in    thought    as    they    walk    ,    swirling    a    plastic    spoon    mindlessly    around    the    contents    of    his    paper    cup    and    the    vanilla    scoop    now    turned    pure    liquid    .    has    barely    touched    any    of    it    ,    afraid    it    might    make    a    return    appearance    judging    by    the    uncomfortable    churning    of    his    stomach    that’s    got    him    on    edge    .    gives    up    ,    tossing    the    remains    in    the    nearest    bin    ,    his    now    free    hand    finally    intertwining    with    hers    as    he    urges    her    to    pause    with    the    lightest    tug    of    her    wrist    .    steps    coming    to    a    halt    just    feet    away    from    grand    gates    leading    up    to    the    estate    ,    so    in    his    own    head    he’s    not    even    sure    if    she’s    currently    talking    ,    perhaps    mid    -    sentence    as    he    himself    speaks    up    .    “  i    ,    uh    .    i’ve    been    thinking    .  ”    it’s    a    clumsy    ,    butchered    attempt    at    the    truth    .    eyes    avert    elsewhere    ,    anywhere    that’s    not    those    damn    hazel    eyes    that    still    got    him    weak    ;    eyes    that    will    undoubtedly    make    him    backtrack    ,        instead    settling    on    the    pad    of    his    thumb    now    grazing    her    wrist    ,    a    minor    touch    ,    but    one    he    savors    as    eases    his    hand    back    .    heart    speeding    up    to    an    immense    speed    ,    afraid    it    might    just    burst    out    of    his    chest    any    second    now    .    it    feels    wrong    —    everything    feels    wrong    about    this    .    his    mouth    is    forming    syllables    and    he’s    speaking    but    his    words    doesn’t    align    with    what    he    feels    ,    not    one    bit    ,    and    he    feels    almost    nauseated    as    they    leave    his    mouth    —“  i    don’t    think    we    should    see    each    other    anymore    .  ”     /    for   the   main   squeeze   @chcmtrails·  .      

laugh   emits   from   relaxed   form,      purse   tucked   under   her   arm   as   she   dismisses   his   words   ,      glancing   towards   the   gate         ––         as   if   anticipating   someone   waiting   the   other   side   ,      documenting   just   who   she   was   spending   her   evening   with   .      when   he   says   nothing   further   ,      eyes   pull   from   decorative   iron   ,      settling   on   soft   features   of   the   male   ,      brows   pulled   together   in   confusion   .      eyes   urge   him   to   speak   ,      to   have   face   break   into   a   smile   ,      one   that   reassures   her   he   was   joking         –––         because   how   could   he   not   be   ?      what   had   occurred   over   the   past   couple   of   hours   that   had   suddenly   deemed   her   someone   he   couldn’t   possibly   date   ?         ‘   no   .   ‘      isn’t   exactly   an   appropriate   response   to   words   he’d   just   aired   ,      but   tongue   can’t   piece   together   anything   more   complex   right   now   .      struggles   to   do   anything   but   stare,   slightly   bewildered   ,      blindsided   by   sudden   change   of   heart   .      there’s   a   lick   of   anger   too   ,      setting   insides   alight   and   willing   her   to   lash   out   ,      because   being   hurt   doesn’t   come   easily   ,         being   cast   aside   isn’t   a   feeling   she’s   particularly   used   to   .      would   much   rather   be   cruel   than   emotional   though   ,      even   if   tears   threaten   to   come   sooner   than   an   insult   .      ‘   no   ,   ‘      blonde   repeats   ,      still   can’t   get   a   good   read   of   him   ,      but   gaze   remains   unmoving   ,      yearning   to   see   even   the   slightest   crack   ,      anything   .      feels   herself   grow   almost   desperate   ,      mind   moving   a   million   miles   an   hour   trying   to   pinpoint   the   moment   things   had   changed   ,      that   he’d   decided   this   was   no   longer   what   he   wanted         ––         fails   to   come   to   a   conclusive   answer   ,      had   she   been   blind   to   their   issues   ?      takes   a   step   back   ,      increasing   physical   distance   ,      closing   in   on   the   gates   ,      close   enough   that   she   can   almost   reach   out   to   enter   entry   code   ,      debates   abandoning   situation   at   hand   .      kid   herself   into   believing   it   was   momentary   doubt   that   prompted   his   words   ,      ‘   i’m   going   to   go   to   bed   now   .   '

[chcmtrails]

*   /   𝐨𝐚𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐭. 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐰 .

it’s    a    useless    attempt    at    slumber    ,    if    one    could    even    call    it    that    .    the    whole    place    feels    quiet    ,    so    quiet    she    can    hear    her    own    thoughts    exclusively    ,    which    makes    her    mind   spin    more    than    usual    ,    refusing    to    let    her    drift    off    to    sleep    .    hasn’t    even    been    able    to    lay    down    ,    instead    seated    on    the    couch    ,    knees    tucked    closer    to        her    chest    and    arms    wrapped    around    them    ,    nimble    digits    fidgeting    with    the    hem    of    the    blanket    she’s    been    given    .    display    on    her    phone    shows    quarter    past    two    as    she    finally    gives    in    with    a    huff    of    breath    ,    slides    out    of    her    seat    and    heads    for    the    hallway    instead    ,    the    sound    of    soft    footsteps    padding    across    hardwood    floors    and    the    cool    surface    sending    small    shivers    running    up    her    back    .    her    index    finger    tracing    the    wall    to    the    bedroom    door    as    a    silent    guide    in    the    dark    ,    where    she    hesitates    for    a    second    ,    cringing    at    the    possibility    of    disturbing    him    once    again    ,    which    she    ends    up    disregarding    at    the    expense    of    filling    the    gaping    hole    where    loneliness    digs    into    her    heart    .    selfish    ,    as    always    .    there’s    a    quiet    set    of    two    single    knocks    ,    voice    timid    as    she    calls    out    for    him    .    “  oakley  ?  ”    another    pause    before    she    turns    the    knob    ,    creating    a    small    gap    as    she    positions    herself    lingering    in    the    doorway    .    “  hey    .    you    awake  ?  ”    impossible    to    know    for    sure    in    the    dark    .    “  i    can’t    sleep    .    and    it’s    really    freezing    out    there    .  ”    probably    hard    to    believe    considering    she’s    still    wearing    his    hoodie    .    it’s    embarrassing    how    many    times    she’s    already    nuzzled    her    nose    against    the    sleeve    of    it    ,    inhaling    his    scent    that    lingers    in    the    fabrics    .    “  can    i    stay    here    ?    with    you    ?  ”    /    u   already   know   it   @chcmtrails·  </3   .

were   he   less   bitter  ,      or   perhaps   even   raised   with   more   traditional   manners   he   may   have   forgone   a   decent   nights   sleep   ,      insisted   she   take   his   bed         ––         even   if   he   is   far   too   large   in   stature   to   sleep   in   anyway   decently   upon   his   couch   .      he   seethes   though   ,      with   resentment   that   cuts   deep   into   the   marrow   of   his   frame   .      doesn’t   care   if   he   appears   selfish   ,      has   been   trodden   on   so   many   times   by   same   pair   of   shoes   ,      it’s   moulded   him   into   something   far   less   concerned   with   being   decent   .      still   ,      he   lays   awake,   head   cradled   within   dip   of   the   pillow   as   gaze   attempts   to   make   out   shapes   the   shadow   of   the   trees   pull   on   the   ceiling   .      willing   himself   into   slumber   ,      willing   himself   to   forget   she’s   just   down   the   hall   ,      could   be   gone   by   morning   for   all   he   knows   .      maybe   that   would   be   a   blessing   ,      save   him   the   awkwardness   ,      save   her   from   having   to   construct   some   excuse   for   leaving   ,      one   that   he   had   to   pretend   to   buy   .      pretend   to   be   okay   with   even   if   the   opposite   was   true   .      doesn’t   quite   understand   why   he   allows   himself   to   be   tortured   like   this   ,      as   if   on   some   level   he   believes   he   deserves   it   ,      for   those   girls   he’s   fucked   over   in   the   past   ,      delivered   false   hope   just   so   he   could   fuck   them   .      thinks   he’s   absolved   by   now   ,      his   punishment   far   outweighing   his   crimes   .      pulled   out   of   own   thoughts   by   a   voice   ,      head   lifts   ,      gaze   focusing   as   best   they   could   in   near-darkness   ,   says   nothing   at   first   ,      lets   her   question   hang   as   if   the   waiting   is   his   own   personal   revenge   .      eventually   digits   extend   ,      grabbing   hold   of   a   corner   ,      pulling   back   the   blanket   in   silent   invitation   .      ‘   don’t   pay   for   heating   in   the   summer   ,      too   expensive   ,   ‘      he   offers   ,      voice   is   gruff   ,      hasn’t   been   exercised   too   much   this   evening   ,      doesn’t   know   why   he   feels   the   need   to   offer   a   reason   as   to   possible   chill   that   runs   through   home   .      doesn’t   hate   situation   he   finds   himself   in   ,      having   her   close   ,      if   only   for   a   few   hours   is   better   than   not   at   all   ,      right   ?      even   if   it   only   pours   acid   in   the   wound   in   the   long   term   ,      can   deal   with   the   scar   .      can’t   deal   with   not   touching   her   ,      not   knowing   when   he   may   get   opportunity   again   .

[chcmtrails]

*   /   𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐭. 𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡 .

noah    is    not    a    genius    ,    obviously    ,    nor    exceptionally    bright    by    any    means    .    his    area    of    expertise    both    begins    and    ends    with    whatever    knowledge    he    has    of    cars    &    their     engines    ,        but    he’s    not    that    dumb    .    and    despite    what    she    may    or    may    not    think    ,    violet    svenson    is    not    that    good    at    hiding    her    true    feelings    (    if    she’s    even    trying    at    this    point    )    ,    at    least    not    to    people    somewhat    familiar    with    her    antics    ,    which    he    considered    himself    to    be    fairly    accustomed    to    now    .    sure    ,    there    had    been    been    discussions    ,    arguments    even    —    so    completely    different    in    nature    they    were    bound    to    clash    at    times    .    but    usually    he    would    be    quick    to    apologize    ,    admitting    his    fault    or    wrongdoings    for    the    sake    of    keeping    it    civil    ,    not    really    minding    taking    the    blame    either    .    this    is    different    ,    though    .    and    for    the    first    time    since    encountering    the    femme    there’s    genuine    irritation    bubbling    right    beneath    the    surface    .    first    of    all    ,    and    perhaps    most    importantly    ,    they’re    not    a    thing    anymore    (    she’d    made    that    abundantly    clear    the    last    time    they    spoke    )    ,    which    causes    him    to    wonder    why    they’re    having    this    conversation    in    the    first    place    .    “  i    guess    i’m    just    struggling    to    understand    what    the    problem    here    is    exactly    .    and    don’t    try    to    tell    me    nothing    is    wrong    .    subtle    isn’t    exactly    your    forte    ,    vi    ,  ”  he    scoffs  .    “  i    don’t    know    what    games    you’re    up    to    ,    but    if    your    goal    was    to    make    jess    feel    like    shit    then    congrats    ,    you    did    it   ! ”    he    says    ,    as    if    giving    her    a    sarcastic    pat    on    the    back    for    making    the    night    miserable    for    his    date    so    far    .    he’s    close    to    lashing    out    ,    patience    wearing    thin    as    he    pinches    the    bridge    of    his    nose    in    genuine    confusion    .    “  i    just    don’t    get    it    .    this    is    what    you    wanted    .    right    ? ”   /    for   the   most   talented   @chcmtrails·   !

presence   alone   causes   female   to   prickle,   perhaps   more   than   usual         –––         the   fact   she’s   surrounded   both   by   friends   who   certainly   wouldn’t   approve   of   him   and   by   the   male   himself   has   her   on   edge   .      as   if   worlds   colliding   would   be   the   most   catastrophic   event   ever   to   occur   in   her   years   on   earth   .      makes   her   tense,   quick   to   bite   ,      relies   on   words   to   cut   ,      yet   attempts   to   appear   as   if   behaviour   doesn’t   stem   from   upset   ,      or   rather   jealousy   .      she   doesn’t   get   jealous   ,      not   over   something   as   pathetic   as   the   display   she   was   forced   to   witness   .      ‘   don’t   shorten   my   name   like   that   .   ‘      ignores   aired   concerns   ,      doesn’t   have   the   patience   nor   the   temperament   right   at   this   moment   to   deal   with   this   conversation   ,   is   near-seething   .      how   dare   he   encroach   on   her   territory   and   then   have   the   audacity   to   question   her   actions   .      ‘   games   ?      please   ,      if   anyone   here   is   up   to   something   shady   it’s   you         ––         turning   into   quite   the   gold   digger   now   ,      aren’t   we   ?   ‘      can’t   help   but   laugh,   though   sound   is   short   and   a   little   sharp,   the   suggestion   she’s   upset   the   female   is   all   too   amusing   ,      ‘   oh   ,      that   is   funny,   you   think   she’s   been   hanging   out   with   this   crowd   for   years   and   can’t   handle   some   sly   comments   ?      she’s   usually   the   one   making   them   .   ‘      now   him   being   here   is   growing   even   more   unbearable   ,      but   won’t   be   the   one   to   leave,   this   is   where   she’s   meant   to   be   .      hands   lift   ,      stopping   mid-air   before   she   crosses   her   arms   over   her   chest   like   a   petulant   child,   ‘   i   don’t   want   to   have   to   see   you   ,      do   i   need   to   put   that   in   simpler   terms   for   you   to   process   ?   never   ,      never   once   have   we   been   at   the   same   party   ,      yet   now,   you’re   here   ?      with   someone   i   grew   up   with   ?      i   mean ,   it’s   almost   like   you’re   being   intentionally   nasty   .      cruel   even   ,      but   thanks   for   providing   truth   to   my   doubts   .   '

[cinemaphileadict]

Shameless (2011– )

Season One, Episode Eight: ‘It’s Time To Kill The Turtle’

[chcmtrails]

*  /   𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐭. 𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢 .

          one   could   assume   lexi   was   too   caught   up   in   that   moment   ,   eyes   glued   to   the   obscene   exchange   of   saliva   ,   too   occupied   to   notice   his   hand   slip   behind   her   neck   to   exchange   services   .   most   would   assume   she’s   too   dumb   .   too   ditzy   and   in   her   own   little   world   to   know   stuff   .   see   stuff   .   but   the   action   doesn’t   fall   short   on   her   ,   instead   the   wheels   in   her   head   starts   turning   once   it   dawns   on   her   she   might   have   figured   out   a   solution   to   her   problems   .   his   reply   doesn’t   miss   a   beat   ,   though   ,   and   a   soft   blush   spreads   across   porcelain   cheeks   ,   masked   by   florescent   light   licking   up   the   walls   .   head   falls   back   to   rest   agains   the   back   cushion   ,   allowing   tousled   curls   to   drape   the   cover   ,   angling   her   head   to   look   at   him   .   ‘  you’re   sweet   .  ’   sentiment   is   paired   with   the   semblance   of   a   smile   inkling   at   the   corners   of   her   mouth   .   he   could   easily   be   buttering   her   up   with   excessive   flattery   ,   playing   his   cards   right   to   have   her   on   her   knees   against   the   cool   tiles   in   the   upstairs   bathroom   by   the   end   of   the   night   ,   but   his   intentions   doesn’t   matter   .   not   really   .   eyes   dart   back   to   the   couple   at   his   inquiry   .   ‘  he’s   nice   .   sometimes   ,  ’   she   notes   ,   realizes   she   struggles   to   come   up   with   any   other   redeeming   qualities   for   the   guy   she’s   just   spent   two   weeks   sulking   over   .   truth   was   ,   she   liked   the   way   he   told   her   she   was   the   prettiest   thing   he’d   been   inside   ,   and   the   way   ,   out   of   all   the   girls   at   the   party   ,   his   hands   would   always   find   and   settle   on   her   hips   ,   making   her   feel   special   and   different   and   seen   .   like   she   was   the   only   girl   in   the   world   worth   his   attention   .   which   made   it   even   harder   to   grasp   why   she   was   now   being   thrown   aside   like   she   never   really   mattered   in   the   first   place   ,   which   had   the   blonde   feeling   like   the   dirt   beneath   the   sole   of   his   shoe   .   she   shifts   in   her   position   to   directly   face   her   new   acquaintance   ,   automatically   scooting   closer   as   she   pulls   her   knees   up   underneath   her   .   pops   her   elbow   against   the   cushion   for   support   ,   head   resting   in   the   palm   of   her   hand   .   ‘  what   do   you   have   on   you   ?  ’  familiar   with   it   in   the   sense   she’s   swallowed   whatever   she’s   let   previous   boyfriends   slip   into   her   mouth   .   knows   only   the   basic   lingo   from   overhearing   boyfriends   dealing   in   the   next   room   ,   but   enough   to   provide   herself   a   fix   of   some   kind   ,   she   figures   .   aware   alcoholic   beverages   won’t   be   enough   and   drinks   will   just   have   her   slumped   over   a   toilet   bowl   by   the   end   of   the   night   .   ‘  i   just   wanna   …   not   think   for   a   while   ,   you   know   ?   just   something   to   take   the   edge   off   ,  ’   she   continues   ,   teeth   digging   slightly   into   soft   flesh  of   glossed   ,   pink   tinted   bottom  lip   before   curving  into   a   careful   smile   .   knows   he   can’t   take   away   her   pain   ,   but   she’ll   settle   for   momentarily   easing   the   burden   . 

doesn’t   quite   understand   why   she’s   torturing   herself   ,      forcing   herself   to   sit   through   rather   lewd   display   across   the   room   ,      if   it   were   him   ,      he   would   have   left   .      tried   to   forget   about   scene   he’d   just   witnessed   ,      but   apparently   she   was   a   glutton   for   punishment   .      how   cruel   .      smile   stretches   out   lips   at   her   response   ,      finds   amusement   in   such   a   term   ,      doesn’t   think   he’s   ever   been   described   as   sweet   before   .      doesn’t   object   to   it   though   ,      instead   tugs   a   lighter   out   of   his   pocket   ,      is   debating   abandoning   current   spot   to   head   outside   .      all   of   this   time   spent   with   people   he   didn’t   care   much   for   had   him   gasping   for   some   nicotine   ,      but   it   seemed   as   if   blonde   was   perhaps   in   too   vulnerable   a   state   to   abandon   right   now   ,      so   he   stays   put   .      entertaining   himself   by   dragging   his   thumb   over   the   metal   ,      until   it   was   a   millimetre   away   from   igniting   ,      repeating   the   action   over   and   over   again   as   he   listened   to   her   speak   .   ‘   sometimes   ?   like   when   he’s   not   shoving   his   tongue   down   some   other   girl’s   throat   ?   '      words   not   spoken   to   be   cruel   ,      though   hopes   maybe   his   complete   dismissal   of   her   case   for   the   male   would   help   her   realize   he   really   didn’t   have   much   going   for   him   .      that   he   could   see   at   least   ,      maybe   he   was   rich   ,      that   always   seemed   to   pull   in   the   women   .      ‘   what’s   his   excuse   for   not   being   nice   all   of   the   time   ?   '      god   ,      he   should   really   take   up   a   career   as   a   counsellor   ,      this   shit   was   coming   so   easily   to   him   .      could   be   the   fact   he   watched   far   too   much   television   though   ,      picked   up   a   few   tips   from   over-dramatised   therapy   sessions   .      eyes   the   female   as   she   shifts   ,      slight   crease   formed   in   expanse   of   his   forehead   as   she   angled   her   form   towards   him   ,   doesn’t   know   what   he’s   expecting   but   it   isn’t   information   about   his   catalogue   that’s   for   sure   .      lets   out   a   breath   ,      it   masks   the   laugh   he   wants   to   let   rip   ,      but   refrains   in   fear   she’d   think   he   was   laughing   at   her   specifically   ,      when   it’s   definitely   more   the   situation   .      ‘   what   i   have   isn’t   of   concern   to   you   ,      not   gonna’   hand   over   anything   to   someone   so   upset   .      ‘cause   when   you   do   something   stupid   that’ll   be   on   me   ,      and   i’m   not   good   with   guilt   .      which   yeah   ,      is   ironic   i   know   .   '      head   shakes   ,      as   if   hopes   physical   action   will   communicate   his   sincerity   when   it   comes   to   her   request   ,      ‘   maybe   you   should   go   home   ?      or   distract   yourself   at   least   ?      drugs   aren’t   gonna’   do   that   ,      not   when   the   cause   of   your   distress   is   right   across   the   room   .      i’m   sorry   .   '

[chcmtrails]

*   /   𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐨 𝐟𝐭. 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 .

“there    you    are  ,  ”    she    says    ,    like    she’s    been    searching    for    milo    in    the    crowds    ,    when    in    reality    she’s    been    avoiding    him    like    the    plague    for    the    entirety    of    the    evening    .    has    located    a    temporarily    hiding    spot    where    she    usually    never    finds    herself    at    parties    ;    alone    and    in    a    dark    ,    deserted    corner    ,    but    still    he’d    managed    to    seek    her    out    ,    or    at    least    stumble    upon    her    more    or    less    moping    presence    .    the    conversation    is    unavoidable    ,    words    bound    to    be    exchanged    at    some    point    ,    but    tonight    doesn’t    feel    like    the    night    she    wants    to    be    told    the    guy    she    likes    has    just    fucked    her    friend    .    eyes    dart    back    to    the    party    almost    immediately    ,    anything    to    avoid    those    damn    eyes    that    might    make    her    more    inclined    to    expose    the    green    monster    lurking    behind    cool    and    composed    exterior    .    “  so    ,    tell    me    ,    how    was    it  ?    —    just    as    romantic    and    special    as    you    dreamed    it    would    be  ?   i’m    absolutely     dying    to    know  .  ”    femme’s    voice    is    sickeningly    sweet    ,    like    poisoned    honey    ,    though    with    no    trace    of    warmth    to    it    as    she’s    posing    questions    she    doesn’t    want    the    answers    to    .    has    no    wish    to    know    the    details    of    the    encounter    ,    but    she    needs    closure    ,    a    reason    for    walking    away    at    last    .    still    ,    the    moment    of    anticipation    ,    awaiting    his    verdict    ,    feels    overwhelming    ,    and    instead    of    allowing    him    the    time    to    answer    she    finds    herself    casting    a    glance    around    the    room    for    something    ,    someone    recognizable    ,    tilting    her    head    to    the    side    in    faux    curiosity    as    she    spots    her    newfound    interest    .    perfect   !   “   jake’s    looking    extra    fuckable    tonight    ,    though    ,    don’t    you    think    ?   ”    a    heavy    sigh    blows        past        her        lips    ,    as    if    she’s    physically    yearning    to    feel    his    hands    on    her    ,    but    words    fall    flat    ,    clearly    miles    away    in    thought    .    it’s    a    petty    jab    ,    one    that    even    brings    little    to    no    satisfaction    ,    but    that    hopefully    will    strike    a    nerve    with    the    male    .    “  i    think    he’s    been    lifting  ”  ,    she    adds    shamelessly    for    good    measure    ,    a    small    shrug    from    petite    shoulders    to    accentuate    mild    interest    as    plumped    ,    gloss    coated    brims    suck    innocently    at    the    straw    that’s    stuck    into    the    contents    of    her    red    solo    cup    .    truth    is    ,    she    feels    miserable    ,    but    spencer    doesn’t    do    tears    ,    much    less    on    public    display    ,    so    the    next    best    option    is    channeling    her    hurt    into    venomous    words    that    drips    of    jealousy    ,    happily    overlooking    the    fact    its    her    own    undoings    that’s    got    her    currently    fuming    .    /    for   the   actual   love   of   my   life   @chcmtrails·   !

sole   of   his   converse   kicks   at   the   loose   lace   of   opposing   shoe,   as   if   he   can’t   quite   be   bothered   to   reach   down   and   tie   it   ,   in   all   honesty   the   failed   knot   is   a   decent   way   to   avoid   looking   at   her   .      mainly   because   she   unnerves   him,   but   also   because   he   has   no   doubt   she’ll   attempt   to   pry   some   kind   of   detail   from   tongue   that   doesn’t   do   explicits   .      or   can’t   .      could   lie   ,   make   up   some   grand   tale   of   heaving   bodies   and   mutual   ecstasy,   but   lying   doesn’t   come   any   easier   to   him   than   filth   .      is   greeted   with   what   appears   to   be   sarcasm   upon   arrival   anyway   ,   which   is   odd   considering   this   was   what   she’d   been   so   eager   to   have   him   do   ,   quite   literally   coaching   him   through   each   step   .      perhaps   alcohol   evokes   some   sort   of   differing   personality   from   the   female,   doesn’t   know,   won’t   comment   on   it   either   .   turns   at   mention   of   jake,   hands   upturn   in   a   shrug   ,   ‘   i   guess   .   '   suddenly   feels   as   if   presence   may   be   a   burden,   she   doesn’t   seem   particularly   happy   to   see   him   nor   be   in   his   presence   .      perhaps   she   doesn’t   want   people   to   catch   them   interacting,   perhaps   help   should   be   solely   confined   to   his   dorm   room   .      bites   down   on   his   inner   cheek   as   he   mulls   over   thought,   pulled   out   only   when   she   speaks   again,   another   observation   about   the   male   a   few   feet   away   from   them   ,   ‘   uh,   yeah   maybe   .   '   doesn’t   particularly   care   to   dwell   on   whether   or   not   a   guy   he   barely   knew   was   lifting,   exercise   would   likely   never   be   of   interest   to   the   male   .         ‘   it   was   uh   .   .   non-existent   i   guess   ,   i   just   thought   that   it’d   be   different   you   know,   that   the   situation   would   be   less   clinical   .   .   .   and   i’m   trying   to   be   better   at   that   in   all   aspects   of   life   but   ,   the   planning   and   the   coaching   just   made   it   feel   wrong   .      so   i   told   her   i   felt   sick   and   now   i   need   to   leave   before   she   spots   me   and   calls   me   out   for   being   a   coward   or   an   idiot   .   i   don’t   want   to   sleep   with   someone   just   for   the   sake   of   sleeping   with   them   .   '      knows   the   other   will   likely   mock   him   for   such   a   decision   ,      but   he   isn't   going   to   fuck   someone   just   to   avoid   that   ,      he   can   shoulder   the   teasing   if   it   occured   ,      as   long   as   he   was   content   with   his   decision   .      

[godfreysteel]

Bill Skarsgård as Roman Godfrey HEMLOCK GROVE (2013-2015)     ↳  1x01 ― Jellyfish in the Sky.

[zarovich]

sorry if i come off as stupid, its because i am

[rpmememaker]

Send ♡ if you'd be interested in discussing a ship between our muses

[ruinedchildhood]

[gghbosource]

GOSSIP GIRL 2021 1.02 “She’s Having a Maybe”

[lovseulgi]

okAY but give me a plot where the boy is so well mannered and polite and quiet and sHY and the other character didnt even know they existed until he cleared his throat, tapped their shoulder and asked them out (BUT IT WAS SO AWKWARD BECAUSE THEY DIDNT HEAR HIM SO THEY HAD TO ASK HIM TO REPEAT IT AND WHEN HE DID HE RAISED HIS VOICE A LIL AND IT WAS SHAKY CUZ HE WAS NERVOUS) and they felt soooooo bad for him that they said yes and it was quiet and kind of awkward and the night ended weirdly but then the next day he comes back and asks for another date next week and they dont know how to break it to him that they’re not interested but they agree anyway so then after the second date hE GOES IN FOR A KISS AND ITS NOT CHASTE AND SWEET AS THEY EXPECTED IT WOULD BE IT WAS ROUGH AND PASSIONATE AND IT LEADS TO THEM MAKING OUT WHILE SLAMMING INTO WALLS TRYNA GET TO THEIR BEDROOM AND THEY HAVE ROUGH CRAZY SEX AND HE WAS SO DOMINATE AND KINKY AND THE NEXT MORNING HE WAKES THEM UP W BREAKFAST AND ASKS TO DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME AND UGH PLEASE!!!! IT CAN BE M/F OR M/M OR EVEN F/F WHATEVER IDC JUST GIVE ME PLEASE

[omibutt]

BRODERICK HUNTER by Alysha Nett, 2019

[thecommonchick]

i’m such a “look at the sky” “look at the sunset” “look at the moon” stay in the car to listen to the rest of the song typa person

[chcmtrails]

*   /    𝐬𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐭. 𝐫𝐲𝐤𝐞𝐫 .

isn’t  interested  in  the  technicalities  of  femme’s  remarks  ,  only  that  it  didn’t  take  much  for  her  to  move  on  .  doesn’t  matter  that  he’s  a  hypocrite  ,  slept  with  a  handful  since  they  severed  ties  ,  but  imagining  her  with  another  leaves  an  unsettling  twisting  in  his  gut  (  and  it’s  not  the  ten  beers  he  consumed  earlier  )  .  little  green  monster  is  on  full  display  ,  making  a  mockery  of  drunken  state  and  though  mind  desperately  pleads  with  tongue  to  relent  ,  it's  of  no  use  .  “  so  ,  if  you  weren’t  fucking  this  guy  then  what  were  you  doing  ?  “  prods  again  ,  not  feeling  quite  satisfied  with  her  dismissive  demeanor  .  maybe  if  she  didn’t  want  lineage  of  inappropriate  queries  then  brims  shouldn’t  have  bestowed  him  with  such  information  .  it’s  all  her  fault  ,  really  .  should  have  known  that  if  she  gives  an  inch  ,  he’ll  take  ten  miles  plus  a  detour  .  blues  watch  houses  blur  past  ,  fingertips  drumming  distractedly  against  knee  as  car  speeds  down  the  road  and  their  time  together  shortens  .  it  makes  him  antsy  ,  on  edge  ,  and  it’s  obvious  by  the  restless  bouncing  of  his  leg  .  “  no  .  “  answers  after  a  beat  ,  head  finally  turning  to  face  forward  and  stare  out  the  windshield  instead  .  “  haven’t  had  a  lot  of  those  lately  .  “  and  it’s  an  open  -  ended  admission  ,  as  if  ‘  because  i  miss  you  ‘  lingers  in  the  space  between  them  ,  echoing  louder  than  the  sound  of  tire  against  rubble  .  but  mouth  doesn’t  say  it  ,  leaves  it  up  for  interpretation  .  “  why’d  you  pick  me  up  ,  soph  ?  “

‘   there   was   no   guy   ,      i   was   joking   ?   ’      had   assumed   that   much   was   obvious   ,      should   have   considered   his   current   state   of   inebriation   however   ,      though   if   she   had   refrained   from   that   line   of   humor   she   wouldn’t   have   elicited   such   a   reaction   .      half-tempted   to   speak   on   made   up   man   like   they   had   a   deeper   connection   than   something   solely   physical   ,      but   that   would   be   all   too   cruel   .      almost   wishes   he’d   refrain   from   honesty   ,      make   this   easier   on   both   of   them   and   feign   content   .      ‘   well   ,      i’m   sorry   to   hear   that   ,   ’      blonde   offers   ,      unsure   of   just   how   much   blame   she   can   shoulder   before   weight   crushes   her   spine   ,      perhaps   coming   to   his   rescue   was   a   stupid   idea   for   more   than   one   reason   ,      would   now   have   to   suffer   fresh   guilt   too   ,      ‘   i   hope   things   get   better   for   you   .   ’         his   question   force   her   to   fiddle   ,      fingers   reaching   out   to   toy   with   the   air   conditioning   ,      turning   instinctively   to   the   left   at   the   end   of   the   road   ,      forgetting   momentarily   about   her   pretence   of   not   knowing   where   she   was   going         –––         ‘   couldn’t   leave   you   stranded   ,      i   guess   .   ’      liked   that   he’d   called   her   ,      takes   comfort   in   the   fact   he   doesn’t   hate   her   enough   to   attempt   to   walk   home   rather   than   get   into   her   vehicle   ,      momentarily   distracted   by   the   repetitive   movement   of   bouncing   knee   ,      ‘   no   girls   to   go   home   with   at   this   thing   ?   ’

[gossipgirlgifs]

[rob-pattinson]

FROY GUTIERREZ Cruel Summer › 1.01, “Happy Birthday Jeanette Turner” (2021)