Psychedelic Mess @chelseaxcatherine - Tumblr Blog

I’m always the bad guy….ALWAYS

Nothing like getting g yelled at. I wanna die

After being with a male, and a genuine one at that. The kind of man that makes sure you’re okay before he is, the kind of man that holds open doors and takes you out all the time, the kind of man that spoils the SHIT out of you, after being with one of the good ones I realize whole heartedly that I am just not into men. It breaks my heart bc he treats me so well, but I’m just not into it. I ain’t into it. I can’t be. He’s just…not a female. Ugh. 😓

WHY CANT I GET OVER SOMEONE WHO DOESNT CARE ABOUT ME I AM LITERALLY LOOSING MY MIND OVER THIS. 😭😞

Everyone thinks I’m happy which is cool but I can’t be happy if I’m not with you. Sure I have someone on my life who treats me better than I have ever been treated. Sure I never get told no. Yeah, I also can do whatever I want. But they aren’t you.

My soul craves you. My soul wants you. I can’t get you off my mind 😞

I don’t know when this is gonna get better. All I do is think about you. And it’s not like I even want to. I keep my mind busy every day. Every. Single. Day. But EVERY. Single. Day. There is something that reminds me of you. Whether it’s a song, or a place, or I hear my daughter say “mommy I miss *******” I try so hard to move on. So hard to let fucking go but I feel like everything in the universe is telling me not to…or I’m being tested. I have T texted or talked to you in months. I don’t want to. You hurt me so bad. Like really bad. In more than one way. You don’t realize the pain you’ve caused. So much pain. So why can’t I let you go? Why can’t I move on and be happy? I have someone in my life who treats me like a literal queen but yet every part of my being wants you. Why? Why is this happening to me. Why can’t I just be happy and free?! I wrote this with tears in my eyes. Knowing you’ll never care for me the way I would die for you.

Each day gets better each day I remind myself I’m better off…but still each day there is always something that reminds me of you. Each day I gotta fight the urge to not talk to you. But each day it gets a little easier.

But each day….it still hurts…..

I JUST WANT TO NOT MISS YOU ANYMORE STOP LIVING IN MY HEAD RENT FREE

I just want my babe…

I feel so empty anymore. Numb …

She said “I don’t wanna be with you because I don’t wanna be talking to all these people while I’m with you. I wanna give 100% my everything to you.”

And that my friends is how hearts get broke. But that is also growth. 😔

I JUST WANT TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO GOD DAMN HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT YOU. YOU MOVED ON WHY CANT I!!!! WHY WHY WHY 😭😭😭😭

How, I ask the universe for a sign and they send it through my daughter. This is so hard. “Don’t let her go…”

😔😔😔

I woke up, did yoga, drank a protein smoothie, worked out and now I’m laying here

I miss you more and more every day 😔

Why did I have to fall for you so hard. Only got you to not give a damn

This is the only place I can come where no one pays attention to me.

I don’t understand how it was so easy for her to move on.

To forget the strong ass connection we STILL have.

Touching you feels like I’m on drugs. My favorite scent is your skin. When I’m close to you I feel whole and complete.

How can you give that up….

Never in my 28 years of existence have I ever felt the way I felt with you with anyone else.

I want this pain to stop. It hurts and it’s too much. This heartbreak really feels like my heart broke.

I keep trying to stay distracted. Trying to forget you but everything reminds me of you

I just want this hurt to end

I want to be happy again….

She came back. She came back and now everything I worked hard for. The mindset I worked hard to get. All ruined.

Here come the sleepless nights and crying episodes again: my soul will never be happy. Not until it’s next to yours..

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