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@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
$LAYYYTER
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@cherry-png
started this blog at 170lbs, went all the way down to 124lb, experienced sickness and am not back to 130-134lbs (it fluctuates depending on how I’m eating, yall know the drill). Like I know I’m at a healthy weight now especially for my height, but I lowkey want to aim for going back down to the 120s ngl
Every metaphorical step AmberLynn took was of her own volition. Especially once she started making bank from YouTube.
She wanted to get a new girlfriend as soon as possible to make Destiny jealous, but then it’s Beck’s fault she was “trapped” in a loveless relationship and getting no action or intimacy for 4 years.
She wanted a new girlfriend as soon as possible after Beck broke up with her because she can’t do anything for herself and desperately wants to be desired.
And for a whole year after Jade broke up with her, did AmberLynn better herself? Did she realize it’s unhealthy to be so dependent on a partner and decide to take care of herself and strive for a better future, especially to take better care of her three fur babies? Nope!
She threw herself at a feeder instead.
She has the privilege, she has the time, she has the money to take care of her health. To seek help, professional help. To insert herself into communities and support groups, not just for her weight, but also for everything she went through growing up.
She has the opportunity to change, it’s all in front of her.
Yet she keeps choosing all the wrong paths, willingly. I’d argue she’s almost giddy any time she chooses the wrong paths in life for herself. It gives her an excuse to be the “victim” of a situation. She is the “victim” again and again.
She wants unhealthy food in the house, yet it was Beck’s fault for not telling her no and not supporting her weight loss.
She wanted to taste test food through her PO box, yet it was an alleged “hater’s” fault for sending her expensive pastries when she’s clearly a weight loss channel.
She wants supporters, yet she only ever interacts with “haters”. It’s the “haters’” fault for being so loud, yet it’s not her fault for stoking the flames and continuing to interact with them.
Even when she admits accidentally letting Rarity out is her fault, guess what? It’s actually not, apparently! Nope, it’s the fault of “haters” and Jordy for intoxicating her mind and distracting her from any responsibilities!
There are so many more examples of this, please feel free to add on!
The take away of this? AmberLynn Reid is always the victim. AmberLynn never has to change anything about herself. AmberLynn Reid never has to take responsibility and even when she does, no she doesn’t!
She actively digs herself deeper and deeper into a hole, but… it’s not her fault.
Amber “I’m the fucking victim”Lynn Reid
AmberLynn Reid doesn’t understand she is also very privileged.
ALR loves to bring up how thin people are more privileged than bigger people will ever be, and I’m not going to deny a majority of society does tend to favour people who aren’t as big.
But ALR fails to acknowledge just how privileged she is as well. The fact that she’s able to plate herself more than three times a day is beyond a privilege. There are times, mainly in my past (I’m doing a bit better nowadays), when I didn’t know when my next meal was. There was a time when I literally was only able to eat my melatonin gummies for two days because that was the only source of food in the house.
I’ve literally had large portions of my hair fall out just from brushing or washing it because of how malnourished I was. ALR is so privileged to just film a stupid, half assed vlog and have enough money to pay her bills, stock her fridge and cabinets, and still be able to afford stuff for her three pets and buy bathroom essentials (shampoo, toilet paper, soap, etc).
I literally don’t want to hear it from her that she grew up poor and had a traumatic childhood, because guess what. There are so many people who share similar childhood experiences as her (such as myself) and aren’t using it as a random defence mechanism.
You don’t get to use ‘I had a traumatic childhood’ as a response for pity. I’m not going to deny ALR may have very well had a traumatic upbringing and grew up poor, but that fact that she currently has the ability to pick herself back up but actively chooses not to is just… and don’t even get me started on the way she self sabotages omg…
Okay I’m blabbering on now, sorry for that. Disclaimer; I understand eating disorders (in the context, an over eating disorder) can very much take over your life, and a rough upbringing won’t do anything to help it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to pick herself back up though. ALR is privileged in certain ways where other people struggle; Having an easy source of money (imo), being able to plate her food, etc.
And I’m genuinely not sorry if I sound mean in this post. ALR is not a ‘good’ person imo. Even if she decides to pick herself up, get her act together, take responsibility, and becomes a genuinely decent human being… that won’t erase all the harm she managed to cause throughout the years (speaking from the perspective of a person that experienced an abuser very similar to ALR for years).
Add on about my personal life;
My eating habits throughout the years were very all over the place. I used to get force fed by my abuser and I would rapidly bloat/gain weight, while simultaneously I was also experiencing periods where I would be very malnourished.
I understand how confusing this sounds, and I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t believe me, especially since I can’t properly describe what I went through as my mind is still reeling (I only recently escaped my abuser last year).
To sum it up; I was a thin but healthy kid, my abuser enters my life, my abuser is unhealthy and would push unhealthy eating habits onto me (eating lots of sugar, sodium, eating out extremely often and wasting money even though we’re poor), would force me into eating which caused me to rapidly gain weight, when money in the house as gone so was food and I would lose weight again since there was no food, then we would get money again and the cycle would repeat. Sorry, does that make sense?
Something like; Week 1 - We have money and obtained a ton of food, Week 2 - The food slowly dies down but there’s still an average amount left in the house, Week 3 - Little to no food and portioning the food for myself (I hid certain food from my abuser since he would eat everything), Week 4 - No food and struggling to eat. Rinse and repeat.
Nice, I guess🤷🏻♀️
Okay… I’m very unstable at the moment. Possibly manic, since I don’t exactly feel like myself(?) So I’m going to do what’s best for me right now and take a step back from certain things. Not specifically from the internet, but just taking a step back from ALR (it’s really not healthy how I use her to feel better about myself), as well as take a step back from the ed ‘community’, and a few things that have definitely been spiking my anxiety (true crime, Reddit stories about certain subjects, etc).
It’s… weird for me. I’m usually able to tell when I’m experiencing an episode of sorts, but this time it just snuck up on me (???).
I’m realizing now how pathetic (for lack of a better word) I’ve been behaving. I really hate myself when I get like this. So, yeah. Definitely taking a big step back. I know this blog is literally for when I’m experiencing mania and whatnot, but I feel like I’ve been using this blog to be like, a mean girl or something (take my last post for example). So yeah.
AmberLynn Reid doesn’t understand she is also very privileged.
ALR loves to bring up how thin people are more privileged than bigger people will ever be, and I’m not going to deny a majority of society does tend to favour people who aren’t as big.
But ALR fails to acknowledge just how privileged she is as well. The fact that she’s able to plate herself more than three times a day is beyond a privilege. There are times, mainly in my past (I’m doing a bit better nowadays), when I didn’t know when my next meal was. There was a time when I literally was only able to eat my melatonin gummies for two days because that was the only source of food in the house.
I’ve literally had large portions of my hair fall out just from brushing or washing it because of how malnourished I was. ALR is so privileged to just film a stupid, half assed vlog and have enough money to pay her bills, stock her fridge and cabinets, and still be able to afford stuff for her three pets and buy bathroom essentials (shampoo, toilet paper, soap, etc).
I literally don’t want to hear it from her that she grew up poor and had a traumatic childhood, because guess what. There are so many people who share similar childhood experiences as her (such as myself) and aren’t using it as a random defence mechanism.
You don’t get to use ‘I had a traumatic childhood’ as a response for pity. I’m not going to deny ALR may have very well had a traumatic upbringing and grew up poor, but that fact that she currently has the ability to pick herself back up but actively chooses not to is just… and don’t even get me started on the way she self sabotages omg…
Okay I’m blabbering on now, sorry for that. Disclaimer; I understand eating disorders (in the context, an over eating disorder) can very much take over your life, and a rough upbringing won’t do anything to help it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to pick herself back up though. ALR is privileged in certain ways where other people struggle; Having an easy source of money (imo), being able to plate her food, etc.
And I’m genuinely not sorry if I sound mean in this post. ALR is not a ‘good’ person imo. Even if she decides to pick herself up, get her act together, take responsibility, and becomes a genuinely decent human being… that won’t erase all the harm she managed to cause throughout the years (speaking from the perspective of a person that experienced an abuser very similar to ALR for years).
Add on about my personal life;
My eating habits throughout the years were very all over the place. I used to get force fed by my abuser and I would rapidly bloat/gain weight, while simultaneously I was also experiencing periods where I would be very malnourished.
I understand how confusing this sounds, and I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t believe me, especially since I can’t properly describe what I went through as my mind is still reeling (I only recently escaped my abuser last year).
To sum it up; I was a thin but healthy kid, my abuser enters my life, my abuser is unhealthy and would push unhealthy eating habits onto me (eating lots of sugar, sodium, eating out extremely often and wasting money even though we’re poor), would force me into eating which caused me to rapidly gain weight, when money in the house as gone so was food and I would lose weight again since there was no food, then we would get money again and the cycle would repeat. Sorry, does that make sense?
Something like; Week 1 - We have money and obtained a ton of food, Week 2 - The food slowly dies down but there’s still an average amount left in the house, Week 3 - Little to no food and portioning the food for myself (I hid certain food from my abuser since he would eat everything), Week 4 - No food and struggling to eat. Rinse and repeat.
AmberLynn Reid doesn’t understand she is also very privileged.
ALR loves to bring up how thin people are more privileged than bigger people will ever be, and I’m not going to deny a majority of society does tend to favour people who aren’t as big.
But ALR fails to acknowledge just how privileged she is as well. The fact that she’s able to plate herself more than three times a day is beyond a privilege. There are times, mainly in my past (I’m doing a bit better nowadays), when I didn’t know when my next meal was. There was a time when I literally was only able to eat my melatonin gummies for two days because that was the only source of food in the house.
I’ve literally had large portions of my hair fall out just from brushing or washing it because of how malnourished I was. ALR is so privileged to just film a stupid, half assed vlog and have enough money to pay her bills, stock her fridge and cabinets, and still be able to afford stuff for her three pets and buy bathroom essentials (shampoo, toilet paper, soap, etc).
I literally don’t want to hear it from her that she grew up poor and had a traumatic childhood, because guess what. There are so many people who share similar childhood experiences as her (such as myself) and aren’t using it as a random defence mechanism.
You don’t get to use ‘I had a traumatic childhood’ as a response for pity. I’m not going to deny ALR may have very well had a traumatic upbringing and grew up poor, but that fact that she currently has the ability to pick herself back up but actively chooses not to is just… and don’t even get me started on the way she self sabotages omg…
Okay I’m blabbering on now, sorry for that. Disclaimer; I understand eating disorders (in the context, an over eating disorder) can very much take over your life, and a rough upbringing won’t do anything to help it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to pick herself back up though. ALR is privileged in certain ways where other people struggle; Having an easy source of money (imo), being able to plate her food, etc.
And I’m genuinely not sorry if I sound mean in this post. ALR is not a ‘good’ person imo. Even if she decides to pick herself up, get her act together, take responsibility, and becomes a genuinely decent human being… that won’t erase all the harm she managed to cause throughout the years (speaking from the perspective of a person that experienced an abuser very similar to ALR for years).
<< Yayyyy! Congrats to me! One year ago I was so mentally unstable I started a vent blog to cope! 😂 Thanks for the reminder, Tumblr LMAO! /J >>
It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
I need to start being a productive bitch. Like dude, I’m so tired of myself for setting some goals/deadlines for myself, and then not falling through. Like…. AmberLynn Reid who? LMAOOO
This is going to sound really ‘woe is me, boo-hoo’, but did anyone else grow up around really unhealthy overeating habits that really effect you now that you’re older? Like, a large reason I under-eat now is because overeating was always forced upon me and really fucked me up, you know?
Catch me about to pierce my own ears💀
I’m sorry to my fellow mentally ill girlies. I ate. Like 1500+ cals. I failed y’all and myself😭
Don’t be like me, be better. Use me as an example of what not to do fr 🫶🏻 The food isn’t worth it, eat small ♡
I get so hyper when I’m manic. I feel like me being autistic plays a small part too, because I’m just all like dhbcuhenhubedcuhnwxduuwhdnxhdenuhnwxhuwndxuhnwdhxn
That’s the best way to describe it, to be honest😭 Just… keyboard smashes. Like a feral puppy shaking his head lmaoo😭😭🤙🏻
I can’t forgive myself for the things i did when i was manic no matter how years have passed it seems
The AmberLynn subreddit made me gag so hard😭😭
On one hand, to hell with the person who posted those screenshots of ALR answering sex questions in her 2015-2017 era (LMAO /J). On the other hand, shame on me for reading all of them bc wtf💀💀
It’s like I’m mental traumatizing myself for fun at the this point LMAOO😭😭😭
Looking through this blog and seeing my last manic episode lasted 6 months… Jesus Christ. Pray for me y’all!!
