But why do i want to be skinny?
Well... i want to be skinny so that i can be lifted up without you straining yourself. I want to be the perfect image of the submissive, tiny, thin girlfriend whose muscular, strong boyfriend keeps her safe. I want to be able to be lifted up or pinned down and not be able to fight back because i’m delicate. I want my wrists to be so thin that you can fit both of them in one hand. I want your sweaters and hoodies to swallow me up, i want to look adorable with the sleeves covering my hands and the sweater draping around my thin shoulders. I want my waist to be so thin that you feel the bones when you place your hands on them. I want my ribcage to show, my fingers bony and thin and elegant. I want to be delicate and graceful, skinny and malnourished. I want to be so thin that people worry when they see my bare body. I want to be so tiny that people could never even conceive that i’d ever be as huge as i am now. I want people to whisper “is she sick?” behind my back. I want to take off my baggy sweater to reveal the xxs T-shirt underneath and have the room go quiet. I want cheekbones and big tired eyes. I want to be the regular who’s just a black coffee, please, every morning. I want people to get excited when I eat an apple, just an apple thank God she’s eating something. I want to forget what its like to binge. I want to stop taking any comfort in eating at all. I want to not eat because adding up calories is too much work. I want to get under my UGW without noticing. I want my jaw and my cheekbones to stick out, to be sharp. I want to feel the high over and over of realizing i’ve lost weight. I just need it, you don’t understand, i’m not mentally ill. I just know that this isn’t what i’m supposed to be.
I could be so beautiful for you. You want that, right? You want me to be skinny too.
