[cinematech]

[zergliing]

first women president

[luthienne]

extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

[zofranfan]

[cozy2000]

me when a customer asks why there's a funko pop with their likeness and full name that we refuse to sell to them

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Haters will imprison you inside a magic crystal and be like "If this seal ever comes undone the World will be plunged into Eternal Darkness and reality itself could shatter."

[7thgenbotulist]

What are you planning on doing once you’re out of there?

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Plunge the World into Eternal Darkness, maybe shatter reality if I feel like it

[marlonbrandolookinbitch]

[smalltalktorture]

tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

[catchymemes]

[pyomorphic]

I’m in a nascar pit crew my job is to step up to the drivers side window and give the racer a kiss on the lips while the rest of the crew is changing the tires

[golfgalaxy]

girl: i don’t feel so good

guy: thats wild. you’re sexy tho

[curseworm]

me age 14 questioning my sexuality: i think i might be a lesbian…..

everyone immediately:

[tooquirkytolose]

[cassercole]

me

[platycryptus]

Megalopyges are cute but beware, they are danger boys as well

(Florida, 12/27/18)

[bogleech]

lettin one walk on you is so brave but I bet it feels silly

[moonybyte]

danger boy? How dangerous are we talk-

[doomedvoyages]

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

oh my god i remember we’d get these all the time when i lived in north florida and i got stung by one once and i swear it was the most unpleasant experience. watch out for these little guise they’re gonna get you

[donald-trump-official]

This is quite possibly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me

[gondwana]

Drank a cold red bull in a hot shower and now my mana is fully charged

[gondwana]

I cast spell of put my clothes on

[catchymemes]

[sexhaver]

you're telling me a blunt forced this trauma