homesick
homesick.
they say you never truly value something until you lose it… but the thing is, i know how important my family is to me i love them it’s not love in the sense that im obligated to accept and care for them like how the same blood flows through them as does me. but love in the sense that i admire everything they do i see all the sacrifices they take to make my life and those around mine better i see all the tired worn down in their faces and bones i see how they are willing to drop everything to help me and above all, i love watching the uncontrollable laughter rumble out of them because this kind of love is the kind that makes you want to do everysinglethingpossible to make their lives a little bit better the kind of love that causes my tears to swell in my eyes and threaten to run down my face, my chest to aching with every breath, my brain, panicked, screaming “NO WAIT” whenever i have to leave them the kind of love that allows me to be my goofiest most authentic self the kind of love that i know could last me more than a lifetime
so why do i choose to be away from it? it seems like such a treasure, a goldmine, a source of pure joy and it seems like im being ungrateful to not take advantage of every minute i have with them they say it is “part of growing up” they say it is “just how life goes” but … why?
why is it frowned upon by society to prioritise your family? why do you need hoards and hoards of money to be happy? why can’t I value being close to home just as much as my aspirations and career goals? they say everyone is alone in this world. looking for that “other half” but why do we push away the ones that love us already? why do we choose to be away from them?
