No Longer Running

"Feeling tired," Kaworu answers. "Feeling joy. Feeling loved. I love you." He giggles, then transitions into a hum. It’s light, nothing Shinji’s heard before. Kaworu hasn’t, either. He makes it up as he goes, informed by the conflict of sickness and happiness. It meanders aimlessly until it’s forced to blink in and out by Kaworu’s own dozing.

The tuneless humming is oddly comforting. It's nice to know that despite being sick, Kaworu is still happy. "I love you too." Shinji murmurs, running his fingers through soft silver hair. After a few minutes more, the humming is replaced by soft snoring. Not wanting to disturb the other boy while he's resting, Shinji lies quiet in his arms, letting the sounds of Kaworu's breathing lull him to sleep as well.

Everything Kaworu’s ever wanted. He wraps his arms around the boy and nuzzles into brown hair, sighing happily at the body pressed against his. “My Shinji,” he whispers and giggles. “Beautiful Shinji. My precious.”

Just next to each other isn’t good enough, Kaworu decides, and he hooks his leg around Shinji’s to pull between his own. He’s fully intent on tangling their legs together so much they can never part again. With Shinji to hold him and their little blanket cocoon of heat, Kaworu’s set to never move again.

Within seconds, Kaworu has curled up against him, molding himself around Shinji's body and nuzzling his head. Their legs are tangled together, Kaworu's arms wrapped snugly around him. "Feeling better?" he whispers, pressing a kiss to the other boy's chin.

He's not worried about catching his cold, seeing as Kaworu had caught it from him in the first place. Knowing the virus is no longer contagious allows Shinji the freedom to dote on the boy as much as he wants. With a sigh of contentment, he tucks his head under Kaworu's chin.

Ah. Kaworu really loves Shinji. It’s all he can think as he curls his fingers around Shinji’s hand and giggles softly. His beloved, his most wonderful Lilin. Shinji.

"Nagisa Shinji," he mutters again, then returns to his soup. It’s sat for long enough while Kaworu made his attempts at flirting, it doesn’t require much cooling anymore. It’s quickly consumed, and gratefully, with Kaworu adding a quiet, "Thank you for the meal," afterwards.

Still smiling, Shinji releases Kaworu's hand and takes the tray, setting it on the bedside table. He kicks off his slippers and lifts a corner of the blanket covering the other boy.

"I believe you said something about wanting to cuddle."

Quickly, he slips in beside him, tucking the blanket around the both of them and making himself comfortable next to Kaworu's warm body.

He’s really sick, then. After insisting he wouldn’t catch Shinji’s cold… He’s careful with the new spoonful. He swallows it and leans into Shinji’s petting.

"I love you too," he sighs, "I can taste it, your love in this soup. I taste it in all of the food you’ve ever made for me. And I feel it in your gaze, and how we touch when we pass. You’re always telling me in your own way, aren’t you?"

Even too warm and dizzy, he finds it in himself to turn on the angel charm. His eyelids lower, and he brushes his fingers over Shinji’s cheek so carefully.

Smiling at the touch, he leans in and presses a kiss to Kaworu's warm forehead.

"I should tell you more often, shouldn't I? In words, I mean. I never want you to feel like you're anything less than the most important person in my life." Shinji's cheeks flush slightly as he takes Kaworu's free hand in his own. "Now finish your soup."

The sigh is harsh, and Kaworu remembers the responsibilities Shinji already bears. Taking care of him like this is yet another thing to balance into his list of to-dos, isn’t it? He was excited to have Shinji take care of him, but it is selfish, after all.

Kaworu drinks the whole glass in one go. He hadn’t even realized he was dehydrated until the water touched his tongue.

He’ll try again with the soup, this time lifting the spoon and holding it above the bowl to let it cool by itself. He gives Shinji an apologetic smile and says, “Thank you for doing this for me, Shinji. I hope you can forgive me for inconveniencing you.”

"It's not an inconvenience, Kaworu. Everyone gets sick once in a while. I just hope that you feel better soon and it doesn't get any worse."

He pets Kaworu's soft, fluffy hair affectionately, smiling at him. The other boy has probably never been sick before, so he probably hasn't experienced being doted upon like this, and Shinji wants to make sure he doesn't think of it as being burdensome to him.

"We'll do lots of fun things together once you're well again, I promise. But for now all you need to focus on is resting and feeling better. Let me know if you'd like some more water or soup, okay?"

Shinji’s love is in this soup! He’ll take it happily. A bit too happily, in fact, resulting in a burnt tongue from the spoonful he shoves in his mouth. Calmly, he dips the spoon back into the soup and stares down at it, and his eyes water a bit from the pain in his mouth.

"Shinji," Kaworu whines. "It hurts."

#tabrisnolonger #kaworu you big baby

He sighs.

"Kaworu, you're supposed to blow on it before eating, you know that. Here, have some water." Shinji taps the tray, indicating a glass of water sitting beside the soup bowl.

"Nagisa Shinji," Kaworu calls back. That’s you, Shinji. That’s you. "Please come cuddle with me. If you take too long, the excess love will escape."

Shinji nudges the door open with his toe and slowly enters, carrying a tray with a bowl full of steaming soup carefully balanced atop it, which he presents to the other boy.

"You should eat this first. When you're sick it's important to stay hydrated, and it'll probably help warm you up."

After settling the tray on Kaworu's lap, he sits down beside the bed and presses his palm to the other's forehead. As expected he's still noticeably warmer than usual.

"I think all the love in the soup will easily make up for any of the lost excess."

"Nagisa…Shinji…" Kaworu giggles through his warm haze. He’s doing his best to stay in bed like Shinji told him to, but it’s hard when he’s suddenly struck by emotions warmer than himself.

Outside the door to Kaworu's room, Shinji hears him giggle quietly to himself. The other boy seemed to have caught his cold after all, though his symptoms differed from the one's he'd experienced.

"Kaworu...? Are you awake? I made you some soup."

#important #tabrisnolonger

Testing hurts. Every day, new tests on his body, new blood tests and shots and blood tests and medicines and creams and blood tests, allergy tests and physical fitness tests and tests to monitor his speed of regeneration. Tests on his diet, tests on his eyes, tests on his angelic powers. Tests gauging the impact emotional trauma has on his control and power of his abilities. He’s only seven, but after so many brain scans and knowledge tests, they estimate his mental maturity to be far beyond his physical age.

Rightly so, though he’s the only one who knows. He remembers the past lives, being 15 and having to make that choice whether to let the Lilin flourish to save the only one he cares about, or to end them all.

"I won’t."

Kaworu winds his arms around Shinji and rubs their cheeks together. With Shinji so miserable, all he wants to do is cuddle the poor boy. “I want you to feel better, Shinji. I’ll do anything for you.”

Too tired to argue the point, Shinji shifts over in bed to make a spot for Kaworu to sit beside him.

"Then... will you stay with me for a while? It'll be warmer with you here, and I need to keep warm to get better."

"Can you kiss away an illness? This is urgent. I must know for Shinji’s sake."

"I really doubt it... Kaworu, I don't want you to catch this cold too."

Shinji sniffles pitifully. The cold weather brought with it the usual outbreak of illness, which was in the process of working its way through his classmates. It had only been a matter of time before he fell ill as well.

I'm sick... I can't stop sneezing I'm really tired... I hope Kaworu-kun doesn't catch it.

"What’s this about?" Kaworu hums teasingly, and his hands move to cup Shinji’s behind and pull him tightly against the angel’s hips. Both of them are feeling it now, which may or may not have been Kaworu’s intentions. He dips his head to suckle gently at the sensitive skin below Shinji’s ear.

He whispers, panting gently, “Shall we move?”

A pleased sound escapes him as Kaworu's lips move below his ear. One of Shinji's hands comes up to stroke through the other boy's soft hair as he nips and sucks at his neck.

"Only if you carry me." he murmurs, giving his hair a gentle tug.

#look how married they are

evafankawoshin

io逼姆

A small note rests in Shinji's left shoe, waiting to be found. It reads, "Your experiences have shaped you into a better person than you ever were before."

"..."

The note spends the rest of the day in Shinji's pocket. Occasionally, he takes it out and reads it again, the familiar swoops of Kaworu's handwriting causing a feeling of warmth in his chest.

#tabrisnolonger #ask shinji

Shinji’s fingers feel good on his scalp, brushing through his hair. It’s grown out and become a bit wild again since his last cut. The better for Shinji to grab, in its current state.

His hands slide around back, and fingertips trace from the small of Shinji’s back, up his spine, until they reach the collar of his shirt. Back down, feeling every nub along the way, they stop just above his rear.

Kisses grow more frantic as moments pass by, and Kaworu’s hands come to rest on Shinji’s hips, thumbs brushing his skin just above the edge of his pants.

The other boy's hands feel so good as they slowly trace their way up and down his torso. Blushing deeply, Shinji presses himself up against Kaworu so he can feel the effect he has on him. Those hands on his hips stop just short of pulling him even closer, which is exactly where he wants to be.

His own hands slip down to massage the taller boy's shoulder blades encouragingly. When they break for air, he nuzzles his nose against Kaworu's, his warm breath making kiss-swollen lips tingle pleasantly.