not to disturb my own tumblr peace but recently sth on instagram (the ONE time go on it in like months coincidentally) etc etc n so posted this over there. going post here too to keep things same
any “you” in here = general you
original instagram post transcript:
i don’t owe anyone explanation on why call self the way i do beyond that these what i call self
so something happened recently, and dont feel comfortable nor safe talking about what. in fact this post incredibly uncomfortable to make for reason relate to and unrelated to this specific thing. so may delete this later. but there things wanna talk about because of it.
do not owe anyone explanation on why i call myself way i do beyond what already said
n that be. HSN (high support needs).
really not know how make it any more straightforward than that, listed in bio like that.
if people not believe that then that should not be my responsibility. n you should wonder why you think you know me better than me.
for longest time (and especially now) never found any comfortable way call myself. this goes for support needs labels but especially for autism levels.
not comfortable call self level 2.
not comfortable call self level 3.
not comfortable call self level 2-3. or 2.5, or 2.75, or whatever new unofficial colloquial way to appease self.
doctors have called me level 3 n simply not feel comfortable claim it. knowing how people see my life history n knowing my level 3 friends without functional communication and need 2:1s, who may never able do things can do for myself, that am worried am watering down for.
to retrospectively apply terms, was more level 2 MSN younger, low-medium support needs when adolescent
then adolescent young adult had complex disability situation including autistic catatonia (medically diagnosed with research backed diagnosis n experience), which comes with - whether want call it, regression or deterioration or skill loss in all fronts (while regression typically describe young autistic child experience, in rare cases it do happen later than age 3, n word regression for that has been used by ICD 11 n other sources n doctors).
it not something bother hiding, will see me mention on tumblr in past n now when relevant. am rarely on instagram, most posts here be repost from tumblr, n cannot keep track when n where said what with what context.
also,
some people’s autism level not neatly “line up” with their support needs labels.
am not split level. but people with split level may also have complicated relationships with their support needs labels.
am not here dictate what they are. esp not when they have their support needs label clearly written. am not here to analyze what their autism level should translate to instead.
don’t have standard high support needs / level 2 / level 3 autistic experience n would be scrutinized no matter what
not owe anyone life story or explain my complex relationship to how feel abt identify
but feel pressure do that because keep be misunderstood n assumed.
n also, will not explain why, but in place in life where feel more and more unsafe talking about my medical information and extent to my disability online. am still thinking about what to do about it. it possible leave autism advocacy altogether.
everytime post something write something know my wording going be scrutinized and picked apart.
it immensely stressful as someone with communication disability, cognitive disability, n intense OCD… on top of autism, which inherently impact social communication and not realize other people may interpret words differently from what you trying to communicate until it happen.
know my friends with intellectual disability also experience similar anxiety.
being in autism (& comorbid) space inherently mean this will happen. but unfortunately do not feel there enough grace for when it does.
unfortunately be invalidated n spoken over be quite… typical experience for high support needs (and medium support needs!) autistic.
know that because experience that on daily myself, online and irl (gotta remember am nonverbal and that invite whole slew of things).
get really sensitive about it naturally.
but it does not mean you get authority over and scrutinize others and do similar to others.
no matter who you are or what you experience.
will probably not be responding to anything more than this.
I hate seeing discussions around the “divide” in the autism community.
“We’re all equal, we’re all united” and honestly, no we’re not.
I hate it because it is a known fact that nowadays the face of autism is a lot of white, late diagnosed women and low support needs.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but so many of them speak over those of us who are more vulnerable and our carers, and they have large followings and views and they can really influence a crowd which is dangerous.
I don’t know how we can ever be united because I feel like too many of us are simply too self centered to do the proper reflection needed.
We need to realize that there are simply autistics who are more or less disabled than you and that’s okay. That shouldn’t invalidate your experiences.
I just wish we could take more time to be more mindful and to educate ourselves and learn.
Something I struggle to grasp is how there’s so many problematic autism creators (often times a specific group of white and low support needs (LSN)
One thing i find interesting is that a lot of racialized and higher support needs from what I’ve seen prioritize accurate information and the proper diversity.
Too many LSN treat moderate support needs (MSN) and high support needs (HSN) people badly. The lateral ableism is at another level.
I just want these creators to know that it’s not a personal attack when you’re called in/out for these things.
Often times these creators response tells me whether they’re safe to be around or not.
Is this “neurodivergent” masking? or “autism” masking?
Neurodivergent is a sociopolitical term that encompasses a whole lot of things. The things listed in this graphic is not things that every neurodivergent does.
It gives a false impression of what being neurodivergent is.
Neurodivergent isn’t another word for autism. If we mean autism, let’s use the word autism.
Just because you don't think you are a bully doesn't mean you can't be one. Harassing people online over highschool related drama is fucking insanity. I get you’re 19 but at the end of the day you are an adult. I can see you really live up to your username, because the behavior from you is truly childish. Not only that, but these people made it clear they felt unsafe in your server and instead of trying to accommodate them or change your ways you got defensive and acted like a highschool mean girl. Have the day you deserve
It’s not harassment to call people out for stealing my work.
I did it anonymously and did not even use names.
We are allowed to talk about harm done without being turned into some sort of “bully” myself.
It’s not inherently bullying for me to say my words and work was stolen.
Seeing the comments of the insta post, it really just seems like you're completely hiding information and claiming racism to silence other autistic voices rightfully calling you out.
Anything that I had been called out for has been addressed and apologized for.
This is why this space isn’t safe for Black autistics because even though I took accountability, I am being harassed
Low support needs autistics would rather appeal to our abusers than our experiences. and stand for nobody but themselves.
Info About Author; Kaelynn Partlow @kaelynnvp, Autism Advocate and woman with autism showcases the genuine issues with lower support needs autistics showcasing a lack of seeing humanity in 'Deeply autistic' children, even for autistic people who claim understanding of our struggles due to their own neurodivergent experiences. This video tells would-be parents it is *Normal* to not want autistic children. The reasonings here really do showcase the lack of humanity other autistic people see in 'more severe' cases, Reasons will be displayed in a bulleted list.
Her description says 'It’s OK to want to protect your future kids from challenges ❤️🩹' The challenges she lists for autistic children showcases her beliefs about 'deeply' autistic children being burdensome.
Autistic children are Four times more likely to experience sexual abuse. (Kaelynn acts out her not understanding unclothing, she roleplays as a 'deeply' autistic person. Unclothing herself with this statistic on screen.)
50% of autistic children over the age of four will run or wander away from a safe place. (Kaelynn acts out elopement, the roleplaying 'care provider' Grabs into her and attempts to restrain her as she runs away, something notable as it routinely causes severe injuries to autistic people and is NOT RECCOMENDED FOR CAREGIVERS TO DO)
42% of autistic people engage in self injury like bititing, head banging, or scratching (Kaelynn acts out overstimulation self injury. On screen depicting herself injuring her own body, an autistic experience she has never claimed to have)
80% of autistic adults experience not just loneliness but isolation.
85% of autistic adults are unemployed.
She says living with a disability isn't a death sentence, and autistic people can be happy. However, it is okay to not want autistic children.
It is WRONG to use abuses, struggles, and violence we face as reasons parents should NOT have autistic children, or why it is perfectly alright to not wish to ever have autistic children. For anyone who does not know, This is eugenicist. The focus on autistic adult struggle is exculsively how it affects the caregiver, when most caregivers of children are likely to sexually abuse us more than strangers, the focus on not wanting autistic children is first focused on the likelihood our parents will sexually abuse us. Cut in with Kaelynn showcasing undressing. Victim shaming autistic children who get sexually abused.
She said that autistic children are more likely to experience sexual abuse seems to imply the autistic child who doesnt understand undressing boundaries is 'Guilty' of bringing about sexual abuse. Theres a difference in statistics in girls versus boys being sexually abused, but you do not see people saying its okay to not want to have a daughter due to sexual abuse of your child.
Autistic children elope often but the methods she showcases in the video is incredibly dangerous and can lead to bodily injury and her being an autism advocate seemingly centering a clip of a caregiver dragging a child attempting to walk away seems to offer this is a needed part of treating elopement.
Her clip about self injury ignores that it is often a side effect of poor treatment at home or by caretakers who fail to give autistic children proper boundaries and social ability to voice concern or overstimulation. Centering it on the injurious behavior instead of the failure of caregivers once again showcases a misunderstanding of how often 'More severe' autistic people are just poorly treated and respected by advocates or caretakers.
It is not a failure for autistic people to struggle with socializing and working. Workplaces focus mostly on harming the worker overstimulating and underpreparing them for any level of disability care or advocacy needs. I am unable to work because of overstimulation directly imposed by potential employers being a risk to myself and my life. This is the most common reason autistic people remain unemployed. This or the social isolation imposed BY OTHERS because of our behavior leading to emotional outburtsts as it is considered normal to abuse us socially for our struggles in behavior. Not helped by the same ableism that this video showcases.
Mocking autistic struggle through acting it out, including often violent or dangerous outdated care (abuse tatics) used against autistic people showcases that, Sometimes autistic people are not better arbiters for the betterment of our care. internalized ableism is a large issue within the autism community, especially among autistic people who received more socialization within schooling. The belief that autistic caregivers have the true struggle when it comes for caring with disabled people ignores the reality of autism resulting in self injury or harm being often a reflection of the failures our caretakers have in caring for us properly and even our neglect.
if you are lower support needs, do not speak as if autism at its 'worst managed' is a failure of the autistic person, rather than a failure of our care.
I think a lot of the people who say “autism isn’t a disability” have entirely misunderstood what disability is.
Being disabled isn’t always severely impacting, you don’t have to be a complete tetraplegic to have a disability.
Being disabled can be having mild nearsightedness, and wearing contacts to correct it. It can be having ADHD, and using regular alarms to keep you on track. It can be having autism, and finding it hard to make friends.
