sad music of my silence

Fluent in silence.

[chinitodaw]

Yung napatunayan mo na hindi ka niya pinapakinggan, wala siyang pakialam sa nararamdaman mo at wala siya tiwala sayo. Pero siya parin pinipili mo...

[chinitodaw]

Kunin niyo nalang po lahat ng meron ako. Basta ibalik niyo po ako sa dating ako.

[chinitodaw]

Ngayong araw napatunayan ko na mas madali akong iwan kesa ayusin.

[chinitodaw]

How can I fix myself if all you can do is break me?

[chinitodaw]

Masakit. Pero salamat kasi nagawa mo paring makisama kahit ayaw mo na.

[chinitodaw]

Pinipilit ko parin maging ok. Gusto ko maging masaya ngayong araw. Pero gusto talaga niya maging malungkot lang ako.

[chinitodaw]

Nagtanda nako: ayoko ma makipag-usap. Di din naman ako iintindihin. Ayoko na magsabi, di din naman tatandaan.

[chinitodaw]

Hirap na hirap na ako. Ayoko na. Mas ok pa siguro kung mag-isa nalang ako.

[chinitodaw]

Di kasi ako importante kaya di rin importante tong araw nato sa kanya

[softgrlfriend]

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

[chinitodaw]

Quarantine thoughts

-I'm not good enough.

-There's no hope of ever fixing me. I'm entirely broken and we cannot do anything about it.

-I'm weak.

-If I should die, then I should do it alone. I should not give any hint that I'll go.

-No matter what happens, always conceal your sorrow. Always show that you're okay. Don't ask for anyone's attention as I'm not anyone's concern.

-If I die, I want to be cremated right away. I don't want any funeral. I want my ash to be sprinkled on a beach. Just set my remains free in a happy place. That way I would not feel so alone.

[chinitodaw]

Maybe I don't deserve to be loved.

[chinitodaw]

I still cry every night.

[chinitodaw]

I always feel sad and empty

[chinitodaw]

Maybe I'm destined to be forever broken.

[chinitodaw]

Pagod nako maalala yung mga childhood traumas ko. Ayoko na magkaroon ng pake simula ngayon.

[chinitodaw]

I was wishing to be who I was. But God you made me a broken person again💔