a/n: hurt comfort. warning!! strong mental health themes. sh and slight memory loss. thoughts of sh/su*cide. a lot of strong themes. very self indulgent. based on my experience with bpd. reader may piss you off, but she’s just going through it so leave her alone :(
— ☆
borderline personality disorder is a bitch.
you hated it. hated the way it made you ten times more impulsive, a hundred times more sensitive, a thousand times more conflicted on how you view yourself, and a million times more emotional.
so, when you got a boyfriend, you knew it would be over soon. who would want to stay with someone literally unstable in every sense of being? someone often casually labeled as insane?
you weren’t low maintenance. you weren’t easy to love. you weren’t effortlessly lovable.
in your eyes, you were the most hard to love person ever.
so, you hid it. hid your instability, your insecurities, your impulsiveness, your emotions— every part of you you loathed.
when months went by, you simply thought sukuna was just too fooled by your façade to notice. to see who you truly were.
you couldn’t have been more wrong.
it was on a tuesday night when it all fell apart.
it was a long day at work. you were in a phase where you despised every part about yourself. you hadn’t felt real in a week— stuck in a loop where you felt like you were literally on autopilot.
you felt like you were snapping. you just wanted to scream and bawl and curl up and maybe hit something. it was an annoying feeling, and the only way you knew it would end was if you acted on it.
you tried all the stupid coping mechanisms your therapist told you. nothing helped. you only felt the feeling claw deeper onto your insides, and suddenly, you were getting dressed and going outside, phone left inside the house.
this time, the episode was short.
only a few hours. if you were honest, you barely remember anything. it felt like watching a blurry movie, made solely of decisions you didn’t think twice before doing.
you walked back to your apartment, eyes dazed and face wet with tears you barely realized were falling. your hair was cut short, money was missing from your account, your knees were bleeding, and so were your knuckles. you vaguely remembered falling and punching a wall. you also no longer had the jacket you went out with, and it was your favorite jacket. your throat felt sore, but you really don’t remember screaming.
it took an hour to get home.
when you did, you heard movements inside. sukuna’s voice, low and angry as he spoke to someone on the phone.
ah. the anticipated ending to your relationship.
you stared blankly at the door, a dark feeling clawing at your insides.
this was it. he would see you— finally see the monster you were, and leave you. he would see everything you kept hidden— your anger, your rage, your fear, the emotions that felt too huge for you both to feel— he would see everything.
the first thought you had was, of course, the fear you felt at the mere idea of him abandoning you. the urge to sob and beg him not to leave. the thought of your life being over if he did, the feeling that if he really did leave, nothing would be worth it anymore. you would no longer have a reason to live.
the second thought was the condescending voice in your head telling you to calm down. that you knew he would leave you, anyways. that everyone always did. that you were unlovable, intolerable, and that you should be thankful he even stayed with you for so long.
both thoughts kept clashing together. your vision was blurry as you stared at your own apartment door, and your lips wobbled, colors blending together from the tears clouding your pretty eyes.
you slowly slumped to the ground, and sobbed. bawled— mourning the very loss of the relationship yet to end. the second the sound escaped you, you heard every shuffle inside your apartment come to a sudden halt. if you weren’t so focused on it, you would have missed it.
and so, the door unlocked— quick and harsh.
you only sobbed louder at the sight of the slippers you bought sukuna to wear in your apartment so he doesn’t walk around with dirty shoes— stupid pink bunny slippers.
you couldn’t look up. you just couldn’t bare the look he probably had on, the disgust, the anger, the confusion of seeing the girl he thought loved in such state. the mere thought of how his emotions will define fade had you gasping for air between sobs, and—
gentle fingers grabbing your face, forcing your eyes to stare into his pretty face. you couldn’t see clearly, but with every blink, the pure worry on his face became clearer.
“…please don’t leave me,” you managed to choke out— a pathetic attempt to keep the man you knew would leave, bloody, dirty fingers slowly moving to grab his knees desperately. “pl—please—“
the next thing you knew, he was sliding his arms under your arm pits, effortlessly carrying you. you let out a louder sob, hold tightening around him, trying to get the most before he inevitably leaves you.
you barely registered being set down on the couch. the second his arms threatened to leave, you grabbed into him, eyes wide and pouring. “please— ‘ll be better— please don’t leave me— i’ll change, i swear—“
his jaw clenched. your sobs immediately increased.
fuck. did he think you were pathetic? he definitely did. now he was definitely going to leave you—
“baby,” he finally spoke, voice low and quiet. tense, almost, like he was forcing himself to keep it stable. “i will never leave you. please breathe.”
“liar,” you immediately choked out, letting go of him. “liar— you don’t get to promise that. you will leave me one day, i just knew it.”
he slowly slid beside you, gently pulling you into his lap, arms wrapping around you. you tried to pull away, emotions conflicting between immediately melting into his arms and screaming about how he’s a fucking liar for promising that— until you gave up with a loud cry, burying your face into his chest as you weeped.
you only stopped crying your eyes out when you physically got too exhausted to. you don’t know how many hours passed, how many words sukuna whispered softly into your ears despite not registering any of them.
finally, you pulled back, slowly grabbing a tissue. you calmly blew your nose, fingers shaking as you wiped your tears, and slowly slid off his lap. sukuna immediately frowned.
“where are you going?”
“nowhere.” you mumbled quietly, voice hoarse and still stupidly shaky. “just… giving you space to leave.”
sukuna stared at you for a few seconds, before slowly getting up. you immediately shut your eyes, a voice in your head screaming at you to grab him, to beg him not to go, to scream that he’s a liar for abandoning you and—
the sound of knees hitting the carpet made you halt. warm fingers gently cupping your cheek. you opened your eyes, finding sukuna staring at you with a soft frown that almost resembled an annoyingly adorable pout.
“baby, listen to me.” he murmured softly. “i am not leaving you. nothing could ever make me leave you. you mean absolutely everything to me. i would rather die than leave my pretty baby— and i fucking mean it. you are my everything, borderline and all.”
you blinked slowly, eyes watering for some stupid reason you couldn’t identify. “…how did you know?”
“i read about it long ago, when yuji was struggling once and i was trying to figure out what could be happening with him, whether it was just stress or depression or a disorder. when i met you, a few things clicked along the months.”
“…you already knew?”
“of course i did, pretty girl. ‘d be stupid not to.” he frowned. “i read about it a lot to understand. i was just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell me.”
your eyes watered again. “i do feel comfortable with you, i just—“
“scared i will leave you.” he murmured softly. “i know. and ‘m here to assure you a million times that no matter what happens, no matter what we go through together, i will always be there with you. in sickness and in health, baby. you’re mine, forever.”
“you shouldn’t say those things.” you whispered. “you don’t know what you’re saying.”
he hummed. “i think i do. i am planning to marry you someday. no matter how insane you may think you are, you would have to hire a fucking hitman for me to get me to leave you, angel.”
you finally leaned into his arms, sniffling. “…liar.”
“fully serious.” he murmured softly. “very, very serious. now, ‘ll go get the medical kit to bandage you up, okay? don’t move.”
“…okay. kuna?”
“yes, baby?” he murmured, reaching his full height.
“love you.”
“i love you, baby.” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “now, let me take care of my girl.”
𝜗𝜚 Gojo didn’t mean to yell at you, even though he knows you hate it
hurt/comfort
more like this
You ‘hate’ many things. The way muddy water collects at the cuffs of your jeans, the smell of something sweet when you’re already nauseous, when somebody takes the last thing you wanted from the bakery and you have to order your second option as your coffee gets cold.
You don’t really hate any of them, not truly- they’re just inconveniences, they spark a vehement dislike at most. You use hate as a throwaway word, then, as a hyperbolic description, something to laughably attribute to minuscule issues that tend to cause a headache, or at the very least an annoyed sigh from your lips.
But there are some things you do hate. Unequivocally, things that no amount of exposure could ever somehow desensitise yourself to. Being yelled at is one of them. It’s something leftover, lodged deep inside you; originating from somewhere blurry in childhood memories, maybe it has something to do with a teacher shouting at your class when you felt it was aimed at you, your little notebook trembling in your littler hands. Or perhaps an inherent, childish fear of loud noises and the angry people that come with them. Shattered glasses and broken promises.
Now you’re older, now you have autonomy over how people get to make you feel, you prefer to talk it out.
But that’s exactly what you aren’t doing with Gojo right now.
“You aren’t listening.” He says frustratedly, running a lax hand through already messy hair. His wedding band shines dimly. The light in the kitchen flickers as he keeps pacing. “I asked why it was bothering you so much and you’re lying to me.”
“I’m not lying, Satoru.” You say, massaging your temples. “Why do I need to have an excuse to want my husband back home? Isn’t me wanting you here enough? Isn't it?”
He sighs from where he’s stood on the opposite side of the living room, the couch between you a physical barrier and a cruel reminder, an emotional wall embodied and decorated with cosy throw cushions. “You don’t understand. I have to keep going wherever they tell me to-“
You fold your arms, hugging yourself in the way you wish he would as Gojo keeps speaking, slowly feeling more and more and impossibly more tiny and belittled as he inadvertently berates you. Finally, he pauses to take a breath, cheeks warmed from speech, and you quietly pipe up, voice nervous.
“I know how you feel, toru-“
“No, you don’t!” The outburst is sudden and out of character for your husband; the raised volume of his voice coupled with the expression on his face- angry, hurt, brows pulled taut in annoyance- prods at a very small part of you that makes your vision swim. And the lamp in the corner blow out, which frightens you more than you'd care to admit.
“Oh. O-okay.” Your voice cracks then, and you curse yourself internally. “I’ll… just leave you alone.”
Don’t let him see you cry, don’t let him see you cry, please don’t let him see you cry- it’s the mantra repeated in your head, rattling and screaming from ear to ear as you quietly pad your feet across the floor to the bathroom, trying to make as little noise as humanly possible. It’s stupid to think Gojo would yell at you over making any sound, but you’ve reverted back to your original settings and now-
“Okay, okay, okay-“ you whisper shakily to yourself, voice wavering as you fumble with the bathroom lock. Your eyes sting as it clicks into place, lashes blinking furiously while you slump against the door; but at least now there's a barrier stopping him from seeing, from knowing, from acknowledging, and you've always been able to retreat into yourself when things get like this.
Sobs leak out of you messily, uglily, short little gasping sounds that feel like individual gut punches every time you try to heave in another breath. The tears stream down your face, leaving glimmering tracks in their wake you don’t even bother wiping away; the tiles beneath your socked feet feel too slippery for comfort- the socks on your feet were an anniversary gift. It feels like a bad joke.
Slowly, against the smooth surface of your bathroom door, your back begins to curl. Your spine stretches into a curve, face searching to plaster itself to your drawn up knees- you don’t even remember adopting that position, something so infantile, the pose of somebody desperately seeking comfort.
But how can you feel comforted, when the person who’s supposed to offer salvation is the reason you’re seeking it?
“Hck-“ the sobs come messy now, muffled and heaving breaths that come up short and wrack your body of oxygen. You thought Gojo knew you hated yelling, how it makes you shut down and spiral, how it always ends with you curling in on yourself like a child while your eyes burn; or maybe he was just treating you like an adult, and it's your own fault for being so pathetic.
In the living room, Satoru Gojo is losing it.
He’s stood frozen, a statuesque figure posed with feet sinking into a cosy rug he doesn’t feel. He does know you hate shouting- despise it, in fact- so how could he?
His fingers twitch at his side like he wants to reach for you, but he can’t- he can’t tug you to his chest and whisper apologies, or gently kiss your forehead- because you aren’t even in the room, you left after he crossed the one line you drew out for him.
When he knows you hate it, when he’s known since the early days of your relationship; he’s known since you stood before him dressed in white, vowing to stick with him.
You’d cried then because of him, as pretty as ever, but the tears were tracing the lines of your smile instead while he slipped the ring onto your finger.
Suddenly, Gojo feels rather sick with himself.
And then his hypersensitive ears pick up on it- one loud, cracked sob, emanating dully from behind the locked bathroom door. His stomach pangs; he doesn’t need Six Eyes to tell him what you’re doing, because he already knows. He knows you’re sat against the door, crying into the palm slapped over your mouth to muffle the noises from him.
You’re crying because of him, and even worse- you’re hiding.
“Fuck.” He curses under his breath, angry at himself more than anything else- the adrenaline from the argument dissipates until he’s left feeling hollow, an empty and unpleasant pit settling in his stomach as he cautiously approaches the bathroom door.
His hand rests softly on the handle, pale fingers wavering as he speaks. “Hey, I’m sorry. Really. I should’ve stayed calm.”
You don’t reply, but the gasping eases just slightly. Progress, at least.
“I know you hate being shouted at, most people do, there's nothing wrong with you. I know you’re sensitive to it, and I-“ his voice trembles just a little, “-I didn’t mean to make you cry, sweetheart. Please. You do understand how I feel, better than anyone, and- and I love you.”
You slouch against the door, wiping your eyes as the tears stop falling as rapidly. You clear your throat from the thickness accumulated as you cried, and speak. “Satoru…”
His head perks up at that, palm pressed flat to the door in a cliche he doesn’t even want to laugh at right now. “Yeah?”
You sniff once more, and bring yourself to twist the lock as you shift across the floor to rest against the side of the bathtub instead. “Come in.”
Gojo does as you permit him, gently and softly. When you lift your face to look at him in the light, his heart almost breaks clean open. You look wrecked.
“Oh, baby…” he whispers, cupping your face gingerly and waiting for you to lean into his familiar touch. “God, I’m so sorry.”
You curl into his arms on the tile, letting them wrap around you as he buries his face into your hair and breathes you in; you ground each other, hands soothing unsteady heartbeats.
You sniff, blinking away residual teardrops. “I’m sorry for not understanding your -hic- side, but…” you sigh defeatedly, shoulders dropping. “Just… don’t shout at me again. Please.”
Gojo shakes his head vehemently, and tightens his arms around you, eyeing the tear stains on your face and the red rims of your eyes. He’s struck, then, by something- how many times have you done this before?
How many times have you locked yourself away and cried, noises ringing in your ears, as yells come from people who you just wanted to calmly talk with? Gojo hugs you again, thumb brushing a piece of hair from your temple. You look up at him, eyes still swimming and glossy, and he feels a surge of something fiercely protective and soft.
“Nobody is ever going to hurt you like that again, I promise.”
And you know he means it.
masterlist
a/n: currently rewatching normal people, in case you couldn't tell
˖ Ი𐑼 ⋆ 𝓜 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢.ᐟ takes you apart with his mouth first, then his dick! ꒰pussy job ⋮⋮ spitting ⋮⋮ p in v ⋮⋮ cervic kissing ⋮⋮ tummy bulge ⋮⋮ c-pied꒱
The room felt thick with heat. You were on the bed, body arched just the way he liked it. Chest pressed firm into the soft sheets, back dipped low, ass raised high and presented to him like an offering. Toji stood behind you for a moment, his large hands resting on your hips. He'd been waiting for this. Craving it all damn day. Your pretty pussy glistening under the low light, already slick from the tension building between you.
He dropped to his knees slowly. The mattress dipped under his weight as he settled in close. His breath ghosted over your exposed skin, hot and heavy. Tongue out and hungry, he leaned in at last. The first lick dragged broad and wet from your dripping entrance upward. You shivered hard at the contact, nerves lighting up instantly.
Toji didn’t rush. He took his time spreading your pussy open with thick fingers, holding you wide for his gaze. You wiggled in his strong grip, unable to stay still as desire pulsed through you. His hold tightened, keeping you right where he wanted.
"Ahh Toji," you moaned, voice breaking sweetly into the quiet air.
He growled low against your flesh, the sound vibrating straight through your core. He held you firmly now, one hand steady on your hip. His tongue moved with purpose, licking in and around your hole in slow, teasing strokes. The tip of his tongue wormed its way into your tight hole, pushing past the tight resistance and making your thighs tremble.
You gasped, fingers clutching the sheets beneath you. Toji's arm snaked around your waist then, hugging you close to his face as he buried himself deeper. His face pressed fully between your ass cheeks, mouth latched onto your cunt like he couldn’t get enough. He sucked hard, slurping noisily, the wet sounds filling the room and making your cheeks burn with heat.
His eyes closed in pure bliss. He inhaled deeply, breathing you in, then exhaled warm against your sensitive skin. The rhythm of it drove you wild, his hunger so raw and open. When he needed air he pulled back just enough, fingernails digging into the soft flesh of your hips and thighs, leaving little red marks that only turned you on more.
Spit and slick strung between his lips and your pussy, glistening and messy. Toji stared at it for a second, breathing ragged, before he dove right back in. He licked with fresh intensity, gathering more spit on his tongue and spreading everything. He painted it all from your dripping cunt up to your asshole, leaving no inch untouched, claiming every bit of your soft flesh with his mouth.
You moaned again, pushing back against his face as much as his grip allowed. Toji only held you tighter, devouring you like a man starved. His tongue flicked and swirled, dipping inside once more before sliding up to circle your tight ring. The mix of sensations made your head spin. Pleasure building fast and heavy in your stomach as every lap of his tongue pushes you closer to the edge.
He pulled back for another breath, strings of spit connecting him to your soaked folds. "Fuck, you taste so good," he muttered, voice rough with need. Then he was on you again, mouth latching tight, sucking your clit between his lips while two thick fingers teased your entrance.
Your body rocked back towards his face with each movement. The way he hugged your waist kept you locked in place, unable to escape the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you, alternating between long, flat licks and pointed thrusts of his tongue, spreading your wetness and sticky slick everywhere, nails digging in harder when his hunger took over completely, pulling you back onto his face, rough and eagerly.
Time stretched out in that haze of heat and slick sounds. Toji ate you like he had all night, like he would never get enough of your taste, your scent, the way you moaned his name. He worked your pussy and ass with relentless focus, spit dripping down your thighs, mixing with your own arousal.
You felt yourself clenching around nothing, desperate for more, but his mouth kept you right there on the brink. He hummed against your cunt, the vibration shooting sparks up your spine. Another deep inhale, another messy slurp, as he spread you even wider with his hands.
The pleasure coiled tighter. Your moans grew louder, breath coming in short gasps against the bed. Toji didn't stop. He licked and sucked and explored every fold, every sensitive spot, until your legs shook uncontrollably in his grasp.
He pulled away just long enough to growl against your skin. "That's it. Let me hear you, Doll." Then his tongue was back, borrowing deep, spreading more spit and slick in messy strokes from your cunt all the way to your asshole.
You were lost in it. Completely his in that moment, arched and open and dripping for Toji's hungry mouth. He showed no signs of slowing down, face buried deep, arms locked around you, devouring every bit of pleasure he could pull from your body. The night was young, and he had been waiting far too long to stop now.
Your body trembled under the steady rhythm he set. Toji began fucking his tongue into you deeper, pulling you back and forth on his tongue with those powerful hands. Each tug dragged your dripping cunt along the thick muscle, forcing it in and out in a filthy rhythm that left you gasping into the sheets. The wet sounds grew louder, messier, as he devoured you without mercy.
You could barely think straight. Pleasure crashed through every nerve. His grip stayed iron tight around your waist, keeping you arched and open for him. He hummed against your flesh, eyes still closed in pure satisfaction, breathing you in like he needed it to survive.
But it wasn't enough for him. Not anymore. Toji finally had enough. He pulled back with a low growl, strings of spit and your slick stretching between his mouth and your soaked pussy. He stood up behind you, towering and impatient. In one swift motion he shoved his sweatpants down his hips. His cock sprang free, leaking pre cum, veined and heavy, throbbing in the cool air of the room.
You glanced back over your shoulder, breath catching at the sight. Toji wrapped one large hand around the thick length, stroking himself slowly as he eyed your glistening hole. He pressed the fat tip to your pussy first, rubbing it teasingly over your swollen clit. The contact sent sparks shooting through you, making your hips twitch.
He dragged the head down to your entrance next, teasing the sensitive rim. You whimpered softly, pushing back against him, desperate for more. Toji chuckled darkly, low and rough. Before he pushed in he spat, letting a thick string of saliva drop from his lips onto his cock and your pussy. The warm spit mixed with your wetness, making everything even slicker.
Then he pushed in just enough. The fat head stretched your tight walls, splitting you open slowly. You moaned loud at the burn, the delicious pressure of him filling you. Toji groaned deep in his chest, one hand still gripping your hip while the other guided his cock.
He held still for a moment, savoring the way your pussy clenched around his tip. His thumb rubbed circles on your skin, almost soothing, but the hunger in his eyes told you he was far from done. With a sharp thrust of his hips he sank deeper, inch by thick inch, stretching you wider than his tongue ever could.
"Fuck, so tight for me," he muttered, voice gravelly with lust. He kept one hand on your waist, the other sliding up your back to press you harder into the bed. Your chest stayed flush against the sheets, ass high, taking every bit of him as he worked himself inside you.
Toji started moving then, slow at first, pulling back until just the tip remained before sliding back in. Each thrust grew a little harder, a little deeper, his heavy balls pressing against your clit with every drive forward. The spit and slick made it obscene, wet smacks echoing as skin met skin.
You wiggled again in his grasp, overwhelmed by how full you felt. He only held you firmer, fingernails digging into your flesh once more. His pace picked up steadily, pounding into you with that raw strength. Sweat beaded on his skin, dripping down onto your back as he fucked you exactly the way he wanted.
He leaned over you, chest brushing your arched back, lips grazing your ear. "Been thinking about this pussy all day." His cock dragged against every sensitive spot inside you, making your toes curl. You moaned his name again, the sound muffled by the bed but still clear enough to spur him on.
Deep, powerful strokes that shook your whole body. His veined cock stretched you perfectly, leaking more pre cum inside your heat. The angle kept your ass up high, letting him hit so deep your lower tummy started filling out, bulging softly with his cock pressing deeper into you.
He pulled back and spat again, another thick string landing right where you were joined, adding to the mess. The extra lubrication let him slide even easier and faster, driving into you with relentless hunger. Your pussy fluttered around him, squeezing tight as pleasure built higher and higher.
Toji growled, one hand leaving your hip to reach around and rub your clit in firm circles. "Come on, give it to me." His thrusts never faltered, pounding steadily while his fingers worked you closer to the edge. The combined sensation had you shaking, moans spilling freely now.
He fucked you like he owned you, like he had been starving for this exact feeling. Pulling you back onto his cock with every thrust, burying himself to the hilt over and over. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping, wet squelching, and your shared heavy breathing.
You felt yourself tipping closer, body tensing under him. Toji sensed it too, doubling down on his pace, slamming into you harder. His cock throbbed inside your walls, veins dragging deliciously with each movement. He kept rubbing your clit, never letting up, determined to push you over.
Toji stayed buried deep, hands soothing over your skin where he had gripped so hard. Pressing a lazy kiss to your spine, cock still twitching inside your pussy. To him, right now in this moment you were everything being under him, to feel your body against his, to feel you struggle and then take all of his cock, felt like a dream.
Toji straightened up, gripping both your hips now, and really began to rail into you. Deep, powerful strokes shaking your whole body. His veined cock stretched you perfectly, leaking more pre cum inside your heat. The angle kept your ass up high, letting him hit so deep you saw stars with every thrust.
He fucked the thick length of his cock even deeper, reaching that soft opening to your cervix. Each powerful drive pressed against it, sending sharp waves of pleasure pain through your core. Your pussy grew creamier around him, the messy slick coating every inch of his shaft. A thick white ring formed at the base of his cock, evidence of how wet and used you were becoming under his relentless pace.
Toji groaned low, eyes fixed on the sight of himself disappearing inside you. He pulled back slow only to slam forward harder, burying himself to the hilt again and again. The wet squelching sounds filled the room, mixing with your broken moans and his heavy breaths. Sweat dripped from his chest onto your arched back, marking you as his.
He kept that steady rhythm, hips snapping forward with controlled strength. His balls slapped against your clit on every thrust, adding sparks of sensation that made your toes curl tight. Your walls fluttered around his thick length, squeezing him as the pressure built impossibly higher inside you.
Then he pressed deeper, grinding against your cervix with a deliberate roll of his hips. That was all it took. You started to cum hard, milking him with rhythmic pulses that gripped his cock like a vice. Pleasure crashed over you in waves, your body shaking uncontrollably in his firm hold. Moans spilled from your lips without control, face buried in the sheets as you rode it out.
Toji growled at the feeling, his own release rushing forward fast. He started to cum right after you, filling you up with hot, thick spurts of cum, deep inside. He kept thrusting through it, pumping every drop into your clenching pussy while you milked him dry. The warmth flooded you completely, mixing with your own cream and making an even bigger mess.
He stayed buried for a moment, savouring the way your bodies pulsed together. Finally, he pulled out slowly. Cum spilled from your stretched hole the second he left you empty, but still full, dripping down your thighs in messy white trails. He watched it with dark satisfaction, one hand still gripping your hip to keep you in place.
Toji ran his thumb through the leaking mix, spreading it over your sensitive skin. "Look at that," he murmured, voice rough and pleased. He pushed two fingers back inside you briefly, stirring the cum deeper before pulling them out again. More spilled out, coating your pussy and making it glisten.
You trembled beneath him, body spent and glowing from the intensity. Toji leaned down, pressing soft kisses along your spine while his hands soothed over your sides. His cock rested heavy against your ass, still half hard and slick with both of you. He wasn't done admiring the sight of his work, the way your hole fluttered and pushed out more of his cum.
He flipped you gently onto your back then, spreading your legs wide to see everything. His eyes drank in the creamy mess between your thighs, the way it leaked steadily onto the sheets. A lazy smirk tugged at his lips as he stroked himself slowly, already thinking about the next round.
You reached up for him, pulling him down into a heated kiss. Toji sank against you, his weight comforting after his rough treatment. A hand slipping between your legs again, fingers playing in the slick cum as he kissed you deeper. The night enclosing you both, filled with his hunger and your shared pleasure. He had claimed you thoroughly, and he planned to keep doing it until neither of you could move.
౨ৎ experienced!sukuna x virgin f!reader
[adult boutique au] - ongoing series
❝ chasing your dreams isn't all it's cracked up to be. your apartment shakes when the train passes and eating a scoop of peanut butter and calling it girl dinner is getting depressing. when you finally manage to land a job at a store that sells sex toys, it's possibly the biggest relief of your life. there's just one issue:
you're a virgin.
you don't know the first thing about toys and you don't want your cute and flirty white-haired co-worker to know. against your better judgement, you find yourself turning to your other co-worker for lessons and learn the hard way he's just as much of an asshole in bed as he is at work. ❞
౨ৎ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. smut. fwb but you aren't friends. slow burn romance/fast burn smut. sukuna is 23ish, reader is 24/25ish. reader is sexually reserved but confident, nerdy, and a band geek. arrogant!sukuna. dom!sukuna. mild corruption. size difference. piv (protected & unprotected). sex toys. dildos. vibrators. sybians. shibari & bondage. restraint. gags. butt plugs. fingering. cock rings. clit stimulants. g-spot stimulants. nipple clamps. remote controlled vibrator. lubes. sex games. blindfolds. aphrodisiacs. biting. marking. possession. dick piercings & tattoos. established safe word. used safe word. loss of virginity. oral (f! and m!). handjob. dacryphilia. mating press. overstimulation. cum play. manhandling. edging. sensory deprivation. (mutual) masturbation (f! and m!). choking. mild love triangle with gojo.
i aim to spread sex positivity, explore the effects of the stigma around virginity, and educate on safety in exploring kinks :)
౨ৎ wc ; estimated 100k.
౨ৎ a/n ; art by ackshuallyvalerie <3 shoutout to @/yenayaps for sukuna dick piercing brain worms <33
ao3 || wattpad || main masterlist
1 ⊹ ࣪ untouched
2 ⊹ ࣪ let go
3 ⊹ ࣪ coming soon
౨ৎ taglist ; OPEN. age must be visible in bio. 18+ only. permatags will be tagged in chapters.
Sukuna has two primary rules when he goes out. Text him if you’re leaving the house, and if you’re not - don’t fucking touch yourself. It’s too bad you’ve never been a big rule follower.
I mean really, what did he know anyway? They were your toys, so you were going to play with them whenever and however you pleased. Even if it meant directly disobeying a very clear and very concise order.
Plus, If you were being honest, the knowledge that you were actively breaking a rule (or several) just made the blood thrumming through your veins pulse hotter, made the slide of the toys feel that much sweeter.
With that snide little pulse of satisfaction beating in your chest, you’d plucked a plethora of toys from your bedside drawer, plopped down onto your freshly washed sheets and pressed the fat head of your favorite vibrator right onto your clit. No teasing, no build up - just raw, greedy pleasure as you flicked the power up and up and up until you were squirming against it.
“Fuck that’s good…” You sighed contentedly, letting your head loll back into the plush pillows, breathing in the soft perfume of laundry detergent and remnants of crisp cologne. You’re sure you painted a sinful picture - splayed open on the king sized bed, thighs spread wide, panties still looped lazily around an ankle, hips rolling in an unhurried grind against the buzzing vibe.
Sukuna never allowed such frivolity. There was never pleasure without work, without earning it first. You supposed it’s what you’d signed up for - the rules, the structure. It was grounding, satisfying. But sometimes you just needed an hour or two of pure unadulterated gluttony.
Just as you were reveling in it - the rush of pleasure from the humming vibrations, the shiver of excitement prickling over your skin, coursing hot through your veins - your ears pricked up. It was subtle, but through the haze you swore you heard a noise just outside the room. The subtle squeak of a floorboard, then a quiet cough, like someone clearing their throat.
Your eyes flew open, and the adrenaline thrumming through your veins turned to ice when your gaze caught on the figure standing in the doorway.
Sukuna raised a lone eyebrow at you from where he was leaning against the door frame, expression one of inscrutable disappointment. Suddenly the atmosphere shifted, sharp and sizzling like a live wire in the space between you. His hulking form devoured the space, thick arms crossed as he took in the sight of you splayed open on the mattress doing precisely what he’d told you not to not thirty minutes prior. You swallowed hard, watching a muscle twitch in his taut forearm.
“Enjoying yourself?” Came his slow drawl, interrupting the silence like the sneaking slice of a blade, and even from the doorway you could hear the cold irritation edging his otherwise flat tone.
You froze, eyes wide, looking all the more like a deer caught in headlights as you slipped your hand out from between your thighs, vibrator flicked off and abandoned in the next watery flutter of your lashes.
“I’m sorry,” came your desperate apology before you could think, a vein attempt to placate the man standing before you.
Your confidence dwindled more and more as the seconds of silence ticked on. You could feel the steady pulse of anger emanating from him, turning the stagnant air between you thick and choking with unspoken reprimand. A cold unease settled over you as you watched one of his thick fingers finally move - beginning to tap against his arms, still crossed tightly over his plump chest.
“Nah, you’re not sorry,” he said finally, and took a few slow steps into the room, carmine eyes narrowed to assess the state of you. You were frozen - still spread open over the mattress, though your knees were tilted inward in an instinctive shield. A plethora of toys he’d bought over the years surrounded you, scattered and guilty like bloody fingerprints at a crime scene. “You’re gonna be though.”
It was times like this when Sukuna truly scared you. His outward irritation you could handle - all aggravated grumbling and wild obvious fury like the blaze of a forest fire, never directed at you specifically. But when his anger was pinpointed like this, simmering and sharpened to a needled blade, like the cool burn of ice - you found yourself unable to do anything but tremble in its wake. Your own confidence whittled down to nothing beneath his quiet disappointment.
“I really am sorry sir,” you tried again, voice barely an audible squeak.
“Oh, being polite isn't gonna save you now, pet.”
You watched his thick jack twitch, teeth clenched tightly behind a barely concealed snarl.
“Which one was it, huh?” He interrogated, flaming eyes roaming over the different toys before they finally landed on the one you’d tossed aside - a big wand vibrator - your favorite. “This one?”
With a few purposeful steps he was beside the bed, and he leaned down to wrap his fingers around the base of the toy, holding it up to you. Your eyes flicked up to it, tracing the smooth curve of the head where your slick was still turning the silicone slippery - blatant evidence of your disobedience. Your lips parted around a shaky breath, and in the same motion your tongue darted out to wet them without thinking.
Sukuna puffed a hot breath through his nostrils, nodding to himself in confirmation. “Yeah, this one.”
His spare hand dropped to your knee, fingers tapping at the outside firmly.
“Spread.” He spoke in a tone so low, so final that you could do nothing but acquiesce. Your legs split almost entirely of their own volition, and with a controlled hand he tucked the thick vibrator snugly between them.
“Since you like this one so much, you can have it.”
You jolted when the firm head of the vibe hit you once more, cooled slick silicone kissing your sensitive clit - still hard and needy from your previous play.
“All of it.”
He flicked the toy on, and a blaze of pleasure hit you like a freight train.
“Oh…” You gasped, legs falling open limply either side of his thick forearm.
It started pleasant enough, gentle rumbles massaging your sensitive pussy in slow delicate rubs. But within a few seconds Sukuna’s wayward thumb had clicked the toy up to its previous setting, holding the toy firmly as sweet little rumbles turned to a furious buzzing. You couldn’t help your spineless cry when he didn’t stop there, flicking higher and higher until you found yourself scooting back into the pillar of the headboard in a vein attempt to escape the sensation.
Despite the toy being your favorite, you were certainly no power queen. The highest you’d dared to go was still a significant way from the maximum, and even then you usually preferred working yourself up the edge with a slow teasing rumble. Sukuna had no such considerations, and whatever patience or sympathy he might have had for you had shattered when he’d walked in to find you breaking one of only two rules he set for you, and he was always one for re-enforcing his rules.
Each time he pressed the vibe back to you, your legs clenched inward around his broad forearm, an instinctive action you couldn’t stop. You could sense his rising annoyance, building higher each time you wrapped defensively around him and he was forced to shove your legs back open repeatedly. This continued until finally you heard a sharp puffed exhale through his nose, and he tossed the vibe aside, turning and storming from the room without a word.
For a heart-stopping moment you simply lay in utter silence atop the sheets, frozen. Thinking he might genuinely be too angry to handle you, but a few moments later he stalked back through the doorway holding a shining silver bar in his hands. You shook your head in disbelief as you watched him approach, listening to the fleshy slap as he tapped one end of the bar against his open palm as if it were a baton.
“No…” You pleaded, eyeing the spreader bar glinting in the light like it was the muzzle of a rifle.
“Oh yes, princess,” Sukuna mocked when he reached you, big hand looping tight around your ankles so he could tug your trembling legs apart once again. “Spread ‘em. Now.”
It wasn’t a request, it was a command - firm and final, and you could think of nothing else to do but to comply. With a frown you lifted either trembling foot through the leather cuffs at end of the thick metal bar, guided by his firm grip around either ankle. He hummed, cinching the straps tight until you felt the pressure of the leather biting your skin.
Sukuna stepped back an inch, admiring his handiwork as you lay back against the pillows. Legs spread wide, squirming against the restraints - giving him an unrestricted view between your sticky thighs. You wanted nothing more than to close your legs, scurry back and hide from him, shame already licking hot up your neck.
“There we go, much better,” he purred, “y’know I don’t like doing this, but you just can’t seem to do what you’re told.”
That was a boldfaced lie and he knew it, you could tell just from the way his eyes were glittering, pupils blown dark and desirous, that he was loving every moment of this, of punishing you.
“So when I tell you to keep your legs spread, you better keep them fucking spread. ‘Kay?”
With that biting demand, he tucked the toy once again between your now spread thighs, and you jolted in place when the vibrations hit you once again. He hadn’t bothered to start low, instead he’d hiked the setting to near maximum, leaving you slack-jawed and panting, writhing against the spreader bar. Pleasure or pain, you realized in the moment that your body couldn’t tell the difference anymore, all it knew was that whatever it was - it was too much.
“G’nna cum…” You managed to gasp, blinking up at him with half-lidded, lust blown eyes.
He met your syrupy gaze with a stern coolness that did nothing to ease the heat swirling in your belly, and simply tutted in reply to your feeble whining.
“Did you really forget all of your manners in the single hour I was away?” He questioned harshly, and you watched the sharp line of his jaw fade as your eyes rolled backward.
You shook your head frantically, eyes squeezed closed as you felt your thighs begin to shake, nerves shot through with the intensity of the vibration.
“Oh please,” you huffed, “hngg… can I please cum, sir? Please?…”
“Good girl,” he purred, “go on then, cum for me.”
“Oh thankyou… thankyouthankyouthankyou…”
Your orgasm hit you hard, a stunning wave of heat and pleasure that left your head spinning behind your eyelids, stars dancing in the blackness there. Your whole body trembled, caught halfway between grinding up against the vibrator and pushing down into the sheets away from the onslaught.
The sounds you made were guttural - choked moans and grunts as you clenched helplessly around absolutely nothing, sure that you were soaking the sheets below. When you finally came back down you felt exhausted, body still shaking with residual throbs of pleasure.
“Okay ‘kuna, ‘s enough.” You panted, blinking up at him.
But the vibrations didn’t wane, and when your vision refocused you found that he was watching you with that lazy self-gratified smirk of his. It was then that you realized just what kind of game this really was.
You shook your head frantically, mouth tugged into a frown, lower lip beginning to wobble as the incessant buzzing continued.
“It’s too much, please no more,” you begged, fingers tightened to clenched fists atop the sheets, scrunching the fabric into a wrinkled mess.
You squirmed, trying desperately to pull away from the toy, but to your dismay a large palm slid over your belly, angled downward to pin you against the mattress.
“Oh well that’s just too bad,” He mused, fingers teasing down to slide either side of the vibrator, spreading you open until there was nothing between your sensitive nub and the slick silicon, no fleshy barrier to dull the sensation.
“Bad girls don’t get to make requests, and make no mistake - you’ve been a bad. fucking. girl.”
His voice came out an accusatory hiss, and his thumb flicked the vibration up higher and higher with each word, flourishing the sharp sounds with a plasticky click as he increased the intensity until you squealed. You’d been unable to differentiate the pleasure and the pain earlier, now you knew the sensation thrumming over your clit was simpler than that - it was raw hot overstimulation.
“Do you know why you’ve been bad?” Came his rumbled query, breaking your spiraling thoughts.
You nodded wildly, making low, keening noises as you tried to steady your breathing, unable to quite comprehend the overwhelming sensations accosting you.
“So tell me then,” he prompted.
Your brain was scrambled, buzzing like static, like the vibrations stuffed between your thighs. You tried to speak but found that your tongue was tripping over the vowels.
“T-uh-touching my…-hah-myself without your -hnng-…permission,” you managed to choke out around involuntary gasps.
“That’s right,” he agreed, rubbing the vibe in slow swirls up and down your aching pussy, watching the hard silicone push against your puffy mound between his fingers, spreading the bubbles of slick there. “And what do you say?”
“Oh, I’m sorry sir, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,” you cried, “just needed you so bad and I-i-….”
Your voice trailed off when his slow rubbing paused, leaving the fat head of the vibe pressed firmly against your clit instead. It rumbled in an incessant and furious buzz that had your toes curling against the sweat soaked sheets until they ached.
“So it’s this little pussy, huh? Is that the problem? So goddamn needy…” He murmured, thick fingers of his spare hand lowered to tuck beneath the head of the toy. Two digits slipped up through your folds, so wet that his digits met zero resistance when they pushed inside. “And you just do whatever she says brainlessly - is that right?”
His thick fingers curled, stretching, beckoning. You felt like silk beneath the rough press of his digits, like hot wet satin clenching around him.
“Oh god… ‘m gonna cum again ‘kuna…”
You swallowed hard, jaw slack and body curled over as you watched him grind the vibrator over your swollen pussy, vision beginning to blur at the edges, tunneling until all you could see was the obscene sight between your thighs.
“Oh,oh… oh…” You chanted in a breathy mantra, eyes half-lidded and glassy, locked on the veins jumping in his toned forearm.
“So fucking do it then.” He demanded. “Cum around my fingers like the little slut you are.”
That did it - his harsh words alongside the sight of him taking you how he pleased sending your pussy into a fit of frantic pulsing throbs. He worked you through it, squeezing against the tight clench of your walls as you desperately milked his fingers.
“Forgetting something?”
You licked your lips, sure that you were drooling through the white hot pleasure sizzling over your skin, quickly turning to delicious relief when the vibrations finally ceased.
“Thank-thankyou, sir…”
You watched through half lidded eyes as he lifted the sticky head of the vibrator away, though your blissed relief turned quickly to confusion as his palm slipped into view in its place. It raised, as if in slow motion, and then came down against your drooling pussy in a single sharp hit. Before you could quite fathom it, he had repeated the motion - slapping your messy cunt in three more swift strikes.
You choked out a staggered sob when he replaced his fingers again with the firm press of the wand. Hot pain seared up your thighs, over your swollen folds and rubbed raw clit - or god, maybe it was pleasure. You really weren’t sure anymore. All you were certain of now was that you were crying - thick salty ears carving hot paths down your sweat strewn cheeks. You tried to catch his eyes through the blur of tears, sniffling between strangled moans.
“Please sir, please pleasepleaseplease…” You babbled, stuck in a perpetual loop of begging as you shook your head, the motion entirely instinctual.
“Please please please, what?” He echoed, voice pitched high in a mimicry of your feeble babbling, though the last word dropped low and piercing.
“Please sir slap my needy pussy again?” He prompted cruelly, mockingly. “Or please sir make me cum some more?”
You were shaking your head more incessantly now, a firm purposeful motion that felt as though it might leech all of your remaining strength.
“Please s-stop, ‘s too m-uh-uch!” You sobbed out a garbled slur of words, brain well and truly fried.
“No.” Came his sharp denial, and he pressed the vibrator harder against you, watching the way your thighs began to tremble. “You’re the one who wanted to cum, right? Wanted to play with your little toys while I was away?”
His wrist moved furiously - coaxing at that silky little spot deep inside, bruised now beneath his attention. Those calloused digits massaging your insides incessantly alongside the unending buzzing vibrations had you shaking, babbling nonsense and swatting feebly at his clenched forearm.
“So now your greedy little cunt is gonna take as many as I give it, cum as many times as I tell it to - and you’re gonna thank me for each and every one.”
Then you felt it - a familiar aching pressure beginning to build beneath the numbing hum of the vibrator, body pushed closer to the limit with each curl of his fingers. Your eyes shot open, wide and blinking away hot tears, desperate to catch his gaze.
“S’kuna hnnn-…stop, really. Think ‘m gonna-…” You cut yourself off with a strangled grunt. Your body suddenly felt limp, heels digging into the mattress to ground yourself as best you could around the pry of the spreader bar.
“Gonna what? Gonna piss yourself?” He sneered, and despite your whining, neither his fingers nor the press of the vibrator eased.
You watched him work your sloppy pussy with unfocused eyes, vision glassy and vacant as the mounting pressure became suddenly overwhelming.
“Go on then. Do it, brat. Soil yourself,” he hissed.
At the mere sound of his cruel words, the dam broke - a hot slick gush between your wobbling thighs alongside a wave of relief so intense that it was dizzying. You slumped forward, curled in on yourself. Panting between broken sounding moans and shuddered breaths - weeping pathetically as you tried to tug your knees together - leather straps still biting at your ankles. He didn’t waver, the vibrator remained locked against your twitching cunt despite your writhing.
“Look at you. Can’t even control your own fuckin’ bladder.” Sukuna spat and slipped his soaked fingers from you, smearing your mess over your folds, sticky and glistening wet, still burning hot from where he’d slapped you raw. “Squirtin' all over me. Filthy fuckin’ girl.”
You mumbled something then below your breath, an incoherent string of babbled pleas in response. When you dipped your limp head and said nothing else, he raised a hand and tucked it beneath your chin, lifting until he could see your face. He cradled your heated cheek in his big palm, and his expression softened an inch when he caught sight of you. Your cheeks stained with streaks of mascara turned to liquid coal, your own spit, snot, and tears smeared messily over your face.
“Cum for me one more time now sweetheart, and we’ll call it even, okay?” He murmured, voice entirely void of its previous heat. His thumb rolled in soothing circles over the hinge of your jaw as you squeaked out a spineless little sound and began shaking beneath him - another weak orgasm wracking your body.
To your bodies utter relief, the vibrations lowered steadily in the wake of your nth orgasm until the buzzing hum ceased entirely. The entire stretch of your inner thighs, alongside your abused pussy was a heady cocktail of numb and entirely oversensitive - like he’d peeled your skin off and you were left with only the bare nerve endings beneath. Even the kiss of the cool air had you wincing.
“‘Kuna ‘m sorry… ‘msosorry, please don’t be mad at me anymore…” You cried, full body sobbing now. Sucking in heaving, labored breaths through the tears streaming freely down your flushed cheeks.
In the next breath he’d snapped the leg restraints from your ankles, rubbed hot and raw from the bite of leather - and before you could utter another word he’d tugged you up into his lap, and you found your head pressed firmly against his chest. You felt suddenly unimaginably fragile, nuzzling into the swell of his pecs, and you turned your head inward - nose stuffed into his shirt, breathing deeply.
You stayed there for a good while with your eyes squeezed closed, listening to his steady heartbeat thrum in your ear. His hand traced slow soothing shapes down your spine, breaking every so often to instead pet at your sweat slicked hair, until your breathing slowed and the fog plaguing your head cleared an inch.
“I’m getting you all dirty.” You finally mumbled into his chest, sniffling a little, desperate not to get snot on him alongside the plethora of other bodily fluids you were currently soaking him with.
“Don’t worry about that, doesn’t matter,” he murmured, nosing delicately at your hair, “you okay sweetheart? Went a bit hard on you.”
“‘M okay,” you mumbled into the damp fabric of his shirt, “I deserved it.”
Sukuna pressed a slow kiss into the crown of your head, and you felt him pause there for a moment to inhale your soft scent.
“Still,” he continued, voice a gentle rumble, “You know you’re my good girl, yeah? I’m not really mad at you.”
You nodded, and despite the exhaustion and pain you knew his words were true, and the sentiment made your chest ache.
“I know,” you sniffled, feeling another wave of tears begin to well at your lash line, “love you.”
“I love you too, princess. You did a real good job for me. Let’s go take a bath, yeah?”
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this has been sitting dead in my drafts for months, some parts maybe a lil rushed but you get the idea <3
Sukuna who slips into dom-drop midway through a long scene. 18+ nsfw mdni.
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You notice it when you finally manage to tear your eyes open, blinking away the fuzzy haze of pleasure to instead focus on the blaze of pink moving above you. You force your head upright after what felt like hours spent doing nothing but panting and writhing into the pillows to find that he’s looking at you. That in itself isn’t unusual, but there’s a sheen there in that rich brown that hadn’t been present when you’d first let your eyes drop closed. His gaze is glassy, lacquered - gazing vacantly at you like he’s not quite there anymore.
“Kuna,” you call with only a slight wobble, voice a little hoarse from the way you’d been crying out for him, wailing, really.
When only a vague glimmer of recognition flickers in his eyes, you shift. Slipping your hands up over his arms, across his back where his muscles are twitching as he continues working you open like it’s his life mission to bury himself inside. Thrusts turned slow and sloppy between your thighs, now nothing but a slippery mess of slick and sweat.
“You still with me?” You murmur, chin tucked to his shoulder and breath panting hotly over his ear.
He makes a rumbled sound of vague acknowledgement, and you frown. Your hands lift until one is resting either side of his face, cupping his cheeks gently - his skin pink and warm now beneath your touch. You lift your head and press your foreheads together, wet where both of your bangs are glued to your skin in slick curls.
“You feel me, don’t you baby?” You pant into the shared air, hot with your mingling breath, “Feel how -hn!- how wet I am for you?”
His lips part, and a soft uncharacteristically broken sound slips free. You don’t relent though, still cooing soothing slips of praise beneath your breath as you begin to rock your hips against his weakening rhythm.
“No one takes care of me like you do, ‘kuna,” you promise, hooking a trembling ankle over the back of his thigh. “So good to me… Always treat me so good, fuck me so good… I love it, ‘kuna… love you…”
That does it. With a final stuttered groan he’s cumming. Thick throbbing spurts you can feel all the way in your belly, nudging his hips in a mean grind and jerking in place above you like it’s painful.
You talk him through it, murmuring sweet nothings into the crown of his head and running your fingers up through the knots in his pink spikes until he finally stills. He doesn’t pull out, just collapses against you still stuffed to the hilt. Let’s his spend begin to dribble out around the stretch while his breathing slows and he listens to the steady thrum of your heart tapping against his ear, like he’s reminding himself you’re real, that you’re alive, that you’re his.
જ⁀➴ ✉︎ pairing: sylus x mc!reader | summary: after a mission gone wrong, you make your way to sylus' base and force yourself to train.
જ⁀➴ ✉︎ tags + warnings: angst, hurt to comfort, soft sylus, mentions of blood and injury, training until injury, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of fighting, hugging and kissing, sylus offering comfort, protective sylus, no y/n, one-shot | wc: 1.9k+ | author's note: i think i tagged everything but pls let me know if i missed anything. title from heavy by the marias
you’re deep within the confines of sylus’ base, tucked inside a training room that was all black mats and stone walls. the stale air sits silently around you—the only thing permeating it the panting of your breath and the thumps of your fists as they assault a punching bag.
an artillery of weapons lines the walls around you. you neglect them all in favor of the rubber underneath your fists, inhaling the sting like you deserved it.
and didn’t you?
scenes from today's mission flash between your eyes. you were caught off guard, ambushed by wanderers because of your carelessness.
you throw a punch, and it is like you can feel their tendrils wrapping around you again. it’s suffocating.
in the end, you took one of them down before fleeing out the abandoned building you’d been sent to scout. you didn’t even accomplish your mission, instead, running back to headquarters like a dog with its tail between its legs.
at headquarters, you did your due diligence of reporting what had gone wrong, namely admitting to all the intel you didn't secure. how could you fail at the only thing in life you’ve ever wanted to work towards?
you punch harder. red bruises begin to bloom at the tips of your knuckle. a strange satisfaction blooms from this, as if seeing proof of your efforts will make you more adept.
this is, perhaps, the worst part. the mission had been relatively simple: get in, collect information, maybe take down a few wanderers along the way, and get out.
you had done almost none of that.
that’s why you’re here, opting to get as far away from the hunter’s association as possible. what better place than the n109 zone?
when you arrived earlier in the evening, sylus was nowhere to be found. such was what you were hoping for.
you had gotten patched up at the association just in case. after the battle, you were left with a shallow but nasty gash on your forehead and several bruises to the torso.
god forbid sylus see you with an open wound, otherwise, he'd raise hell before even asking what it was from.
it was only after you arrived though, did a memory from a few months ago surface. one that certainly didn't help the shame brewing in your chest.
it was a rare instance when the both of you had run into trouble in the n109 zone. a pack of petty thieves who had chosen the wrong people to target.
when the encounter escalated from verbal threats to physical, sylus had pushed you out of the way, absorbing a nasty punch all for the sake of protecting you.
he dealt with the rest of them no problem, and with your help, but after it was over—and the thieves lay half dead in the alleyway—you had turned to him with narrow eyes and a crease between your brows.
"why would you do that?" you asked, hand coming up to push against his shoulder.
he didn't budge.
"you mean protect you?" he said, with wide eyes and a look that bordered on shock. as if he couldn't believe you'd deny his protection.
"i didn't need you to take the hit for me," you had told him, turning away. "i can handle myself."
and from then on, sylus took care of you, but he didn't protect you. at least, not in the same way. he is always there, always hovering, but never overprotective, as if your brief confession to him was all-telling about the care you were willing to receive.
this memory lingers in your mind again as you continue your assault on the punching bag. your hand shoots out, harder than the last time, and you can't help but wonder if sylus sees something about you that you don't.
that maybe you can't handle yourself as well as you thought you could.
and if you couldn't even hold your own in a fight... then what else was there for you to claim prowess for?
the next punch breaks skin.
your knuckles sting as they split.
you wonder how far you can go until your body gives in.
by this hour of night, you feel the toll. the exhaustion settles deep in your lungs and heavy in your feet. but the pain does little to deter you.
in the back of your mind, there is a nagging voice. a fear that maybe one day, you will be ten times as injured and met with the presence of a wanderer.
you have to fight.
what will you have if you don't?
"weren't even going to tell me you were coming?"
a deep, velvet voice interrupts the room. for once, it is the last person you want to see right now.
you continue hitting, eyes locked on the poor bag in front of you.
"you can't expect to come into my home and ignore me, kitten."
you feel his presence approach you. his footsteps are almost as prominent as the thud of your punches.
you hit again and again.
and like a pin dropped to the ground, you can almost feel the moment he realizes what is going on.
the blood that stains the punching bag and your hands. the bandage pressed against your forehead. the sloppy fighting stance you're sure you've adorned but couldn't be bothered enough by to care.
a large hand wraps itself around your wrist before you can make contact again.
before you can throw yourself out of sylus' grasp, he pulls on your arm. it's not hard enough to hurt, but it is enough for you to be fully turned towards him, hands catching against his chest for balance as his arm wraps around your waist.
the look on his face is stern, red eyes automatically scanning down your face and body. it is a look he tries to make deliberate but one you recognize as frantic.
the last thing you wanted to do was worry him.
"i'm fine-"
"you're hurt."
you attempt to pull away from him, but his hold on you is firm. you remain flush against his chest with the only place to look being up at him. with breaths still heavy from exertion, you remain silent.
sylus raises a brow and tilts his head to the side, seemingly deciding that your injuries were not the highest of his concerns.
"you better have a damn good reason why you didn't tell me sooner," he says. his voice is lower than normal as if restraining himself from an outburst.
"i can-"
"and why you're injured."
"sylus-"
"and why there's blood on your hands."
he spits the words out. his breath is warm against your cheek. his grip tightens around you. you are so, so close to him.
it's hard to tell if your heart is pounding because of his intensity or his proximity.
you can tell sylus is angry. not at you, but at the helplessness he must feel.
you know sylus better than anyone, so you know his questions are an attempt at finding reason before blowing the roof off his own base.
beyond what he asks, you see the downward frown at the corner of his lips. the gleam in his eyes that are shining for you, only barely shadowed by fury.
there is something about this look in his eyes that breaks through to you.
and all of a sudden, every emotion you had attempted to harness under the guise of training came through in the form of tears.
all at once, you buckle into sylus' arms. ones that let go of your wrist and instead bring you even closer into his embrace. the two of you sink to the floor, and as the tears fall from your face, his arms are the only steady things in the room.
what you don't see is the way his expression cracks, just for a second, as if his heart is breaking just from the sound of your sobs. any ounce of anger he had been harboring disappeared all at once.
he rubs your back as you cry. gives you a minute, maybe two.
"tell me what happened."
and you do. every last bit of it. from the weakness you felt fighting the wanderers to your failure of a mission.
you don't even mean to confess all of it. just enough so he understands why you're crying, but once you start, it all comes spilling out.
the words tumble from your lips. you speak what must be incoherent sentences. this is all you have ever worked towards. it's the only thing you could trust yourself to do well.
you even tell him about the time he took the hit for you in the alley. something that is as simultaneously haunting as it is irrelevant.
and beneath what you say, sylus knows exactly why it is so important to you for you to protect yourself.
he responds to your confessions with soft hums and brief nods. at some point, his hand comes up to pat your head. you think the action makes you cry more.
sylus gives you time. for this, you are most grateful.
he lets your breathing even out and your tears slow their fall. it is only then does he pull back from the embrace he wrapped you in. you almost don't want to look him in the face knowing how the crying looks on your face.
but the look in his eyes when you meet them is anything but bothered by that. instead, it is a look you almost mistake for pity.
because in all the time you have known sylus, he has never looked at you with only love. it is always a fraction of the expression, mixed in with concern or curiosity or lust.
but in this moment, sylus looks at you with pure adoration. you feel it in the depth of his gaze. in the dilation of his pupils. in the way his entire being would bend the rules of the universe just to be here before you.
his thumb comes up to brush a tear from your cheek, and he cups your face in his hands.
"you are not a failure," he says it with more belief than you think you've ever had for yourself in your life.
"do you think you got to where you are by being weak? every battle is a testament to your strength, even the bad ones."
sylus leans back and moves to hold your hand, running a feather-light touch over the newly split cuts.
"i will not let you hurt the strongest person i know."
he brings your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to your wounds. his words come slow and sincere.
"and if you ever feel like your hard work isn't enough, i will do everything in my power to get you where you want to be. just say the word."
at this, he brings both of your hands to his heart, bringing you ever so much closer. and slowly, as if asking for permission, he inches his lips towards yours.
the kiss is sweet.
his lips capture yours, and a heated warmth spreads through you. it is filled with all the love he cannot put into words. a promise of all the truths he has just expressed.
sylus is not the cure to your doubts, but he is a form of severance.
in the dim light of the training room, he embraces you so lovingly that you can't help but believe these doubts could one day dissipate.
જ⁀➴ ✉︎ author's note: is this one-shot just me projecting? maybe LMAO. this is my first time writing sylus and lads in general, so i hope you enjoyed! i've been deep in the lads rabbit hole, and it's the only thing on my mind lately lol. i know people who are taken aback by the concept or the nsfw aspects of it, which i understand isn't for everyone! but at the end of the day, lads is so special because of the comfort, adventure, and love it offers. that's part of what inspired me to write this :3 and for these reasons, #bringvalkoback!!! (ps thanks for reading my rant)
synopsis: What happens when you're the only one cumming?
pairings (separate): Zayne x f!reader, Sylus x f!reader, Valko x f!reader
content: just straight fucking lmao, edging (male), reader is a bad bitch
a/n: I said I would start writing multi's...I hope you enjoy!!
Zayne
It's one of Zayne's favourite's.
I mean, it's yours too. After all, he gets so loud when you're on top, even more so when you're in reverse, and he gets the perfect view of your back and ass.
"Fuck..." Zayne groans as you rock back and forth, back arched prettily. Your whole body feels like it's on fire, but in the best possible way. God, you really needed to do this more often.
You can't help but glance over your shoulder, clenching at the sight of him. His brows are knit in pleasure, head tossed back as he moans.
So pretty. Just as pretty as he'd been all of last week when he hadn't let you cum.
The thought alone makes you smirk. I mean, did he really think you were going to reward him for being such a hardass? Some genius.
"G-getting close?" Zayne sucks in a breath, feeling your upcoming orgasm in the way you start moving faster, hips slamming down on him relentlessly. You moan when his fingers reach around to find your clit, circling tightly until you cry out, vision going white as you cum hard around his cock.
He's panting behind you, waiting the torturous time for you to recover, to keep moving. Zayne's a gentleman, so he won't rush you, even though he's painfully close to bursting.
You slip off his cock with ease, biting back a laugh when you hear him involuntarily whimper at the loss of your warmth. When you slip off the bed, still not sparing him a glance, he pipes up.
"Are you taking a break?" He questions, sitting up and watching you carefully. You turn and smile, shaking your head with mischief in your eyes.
"Nope, just going to shower."
"You're not..." Zayne trails off, truly baffled at this turn of events. Perhaps he'd catch on quicker if the blood was in his brain, not his cock.
"Going to help you finish? Now why would I do that?"
Sylus
You love kissing Sylus.
He's just so good at it. I mean, you'd think he would have at least one flaw, but nope. Just perfect. It was infuriating. Sometimes, you just wanted to piss him off just to see what he would do.
Sorta like tonight.
"O-oh fuck!" You gasp, hands braced against his chest as you bounce on his cock. Sylus is laid back, the picture of sex on a stick as he watches you, hands guiding your hips.
"Feeling good, sweetie?" He leans up to kiss you once more, smiling when you moan into it. It's a sloppy, messy kiss, but it only turns you on more.
"Y-yeah! God you're-you're so big." You wish you were exaggerating for the sake of his ego. Unfortunately for you, his ego was well earned. Sylus's cock was a thing to behold, and the son of a bitch knew it. Every time you struggled to sink down on it, he'd smile that same cocky smile that just made you want to punch him.
"I'm-I'm close!" You gasp, nails digging into his shoulders as you rock against him faster. He hums, eye burning bright red as your sheer desire overwhelms every one of his sense.
"Cum." He murmurs, smiling when you do it immediately. That stupid smile.
You're happy to see it falter when you sigh dramatically, rising off of his leaking cock and moving to get out of bed. A hand grabs your wrist, his brow raised.
"Forgetting something, sweetie?" He asks as if he truly thinks you're forgetting about him, and his orgasm.
"Hmm I don't think so. I mean, I came. So we're done, right?" You lean in to peck his cheek sweetly. He accepts it, but in a flash your bodies are flipped. Sylus pins you to the mattress, a grin splitting his face.
"I don't think we're done yet, kitten. If anything, you should cum a few more times. Right?"
Valko
Maybe it was mean.
Okay, it was definitely mean. Valko was such a softie, just the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world. Teasing him like this might be going a little too far, but isn't that what girlfriends are for?
"Please-please..." Valko whines into your mouth, holding you so close that instead of bouncing on his cock, you're really just grinding your hips against his.
"I-I know baby." You murmur, chest pressed against his so tight that it makes it a little hard to breath. He's working on his strength control after all.
"Feels-feels so good. You're so perfect." Praises fall from his lips every moment. His amber eyes might as well have hearts for pupils with the way he's looking at you, bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Well, his tail isn't out right now.
"You're-you're sweet too honey. God I-I'm close!" You gasp, managing to snake a hand between your bodies to circle your clit. Valko takes your nipple in his mouth, sharp canines scraping against it and making pleasure shoot through your spine. It's evil, how good he is at this.
But not as evil as you're about to be.
"God!" You nearly scream as you cum, head tossed back. Valko gasps at the sensation, not quite there yet. But you know he won't be far behind, so you have to act quickly, despite the aching in your legs from his unbelievable size.
You slip out of bed, but he immediately moves to follow you, frowning the moment he isn't touching you.
"Where-where are you going?" He pouts, trying to grab you. You do your best to act nonchalant, avoiding his sweet, pleading gaze.
"Just to shower! Is something wrong?"
"I...no. I guess not." He pulls a pillow in front of his cock, though you note that it's the pillow you sleep on, and his hips have already begun to buck into it.
"Well, alright! I'm gonna shower okay?"
"Wait! Can...can I join?"
"...Alright. Come on babe. You can finish in the shower."
you felt the weight of sukuna’s body pressing you deeper into the soft sheets, his four arms caging you in with a possessive hunger that made your breath hitch.
the king of curses loomed over your smaller frame, his crimson eyes glowing with dark amusement as he positioned himself between your spread thighs. his thick cock rested heavy against your entrance, already slick from the way he had teased you open with his fingers, but even after all that preparation the sheer size of him seemed impossible.
“look at you,” he murmured, voice low and rough like gravel under silk, one hand stroking along your hip while another gripped the base of his length. “so wet for me yet still so tight. you think you can take all of it, little one?”
you nodded shakily, fingers clutching at his broad shoulders, heart pounding as he began to push forward. the blunt head of his cock stretched you open slowly, forcing your walls to yield inch by careful inch.
it burned in the most delicious way, a deep pressure that made your back arch and your lips part in a silent gasp. sukuna growled softly, his control straining as he watched your body struggle to accommodate him, the veins along his shaft pulsing against your sensitive flesh.
he rocked his hips with measured patience, feeding you another thick inch despite the way your inner muscles fluttered and clenched around the invasion. sweat beaded on your skin, your thighs trembling around his waist while his other hands roamed, one pinching a nipple to distract from the stretch, another sliding down to rub slow circles over your clit. “breathe,” he commanded gently, almost tenderly for someone so powerful, leaning down to press his lips against your throat. “relax for me. let me fit inside this perfect little cunt.”
every push drew a whimper from your throat, the fullness overwhelming yet addictive as he worked himself deeper. your body gradually opened for him, slick sounds filling the room with each shallow thrust until finally, after what felt like an eternity of delicious torment, his hips met yours. he was buried to the hilt, stretching you so completely that you could feel him in your belly, the outline of his cock visible beneath your skin. sukuna groaned in satisfaction, holding still to let you adjust, his forehead resting against yours.
“there we go,” he whispered, voice thick with lust, beginning to move in long, deliberate strokes that dragged against every sensitive spot inside you.
“such a good girl, taking all of me.” the rhythm built steadily, pleasure crashing through the initial discomfort until you were moaning beneath him, lost in the way he filled you so perfectly, completely claimed by the curse who refused to let even a fraction of himself go unused.
GUYS. you have to have hope!! i see so many people giving up on getting valko back (understandably, given how defeating it is) after seeing the coming soon button missing. we can'tttt give up, that's what they want us to do. giving up is losing 100% of the time
even if we keep trying, we might still lose, but theres a better chance we can make positive progress. don't let this crush your hopes!!! change never happens when people stand down, we're more powerful together :3 the longer we have hope and make ourselves heard, the more infold will be forced to acknowledge us <3
good news will come! i know it seems sad now, but it will get better. i promise
I'm not saying Infold couldn't have done a better job with their approach or that the silence doesn't suck but if I was management of a company and my employees were receiving death threats/knives in the mail/having razor blades thrown at the office building then, yeah, I would probably take steps, even silence, to ensure whatever safety I could for my employees. We also don't know what legal actions are happening in the background that could affect what kind of statements can be made.
while your brain is frying at the edges, every nerve alight, nanami is asking you to do the impossible.
"cum for me again."
you want to, of course, but your sweat clicked body has other plans. no matter how much he grinds, fucks or rubs you at just the right angle, it's not enough to send you over the edge.
he's got you lying on your side, back pressed to him. his heartbeat is hammering against you in time with his thrusts, precise and controlled.
he notices the way you press your ass against him, chasing that high that's just out of reach. "tell me what you need, darling."
"your voice, kento." so quietly, so pathetic it's barely more than a whisper.
but he obeys regardless. pushing your leg up, his tip reaches even deeper, has your cunt gripping him in pleasure. "fuck," he groans. "there you go. taking my cock so well."
that has you mewling, head thrown back on a silent cry. the coil low in your belly tightens, but it's still not enough to send you over the edge.
"more!" you beg, chanting it over and over, brain clouded with lust.
"moan for me, darling. let it all out."
aided by his praise, you moan freely. your sinful noises echo off the walls into his ears. he joins you in making impassioned groans of his own. composure breaking, he hikes one of your legs up, hand gliding down to rub at your clit.
the coil grows tighter, threads of pleasure threatening to break into your peak. it's embarrassing how easily he can turn you on with just his words and that's exactly why you need him more.
"s-shitt, i'm close," you moan. one more thrust and you'll be gushing around him, ecstasy just out of reach.
"you need permission," he cuts himself off with a groan. "don't you?"
"yesyesyes— please let me cum!"
he shifts your position slightly, leg hugged even tighter against your chest and your face pushed into the pillows. the circles on your clit are smaller, sparks of pleasure lighting in your belly.
"cum for me, darling."
your orgasm racks through you without pause. toes curling, body locked up, vision whited out, you're at the complete mercy of it. you're screaming and creaming on him before you realize. through the haze, you can hear nanami groaning behind you, trying (and failing) to stay in control.
thrusts going sloppy, he fucks you through your orgasm, prolonging it until you can barely take it. "fuck, ken!"
he spills inside you, flooding your hole with opaline waves. for every tremor of your walls he's pistoning into you.
finally, both of you finish. rolling onto your back, his cock is free to slip out. his cum cascades out your sopping hole, sticking to your sweaty thighs. silence and the scent of sex hangs in the air for a while. right now, it's just you and him.
shifting to face him, you see he's already looking back, eyes glinting with pure adoration.
"i'll never get tired of your voice."
"same to you, darling."
masterlist | @orangethecarrotcoloredpaperred
a/n: i should've said this ages ago but i have a taglist now! it's linked in my bio. tell me if it doesn't work. hope u enjoyed the fic and ur day luvs <3
baratheonpilled
origamiaround
kianamaiart
