Chloe Jane Decker

Detective, Mom, only really here to monitor what Lucifer posts online because he is wildly unpredictable and I don’t want to lose my job

[chloedeckerofficial]

What are you doing rn? also love your blog!! xx

Oh, thank you! Currently, I’m trying to get some work done, despite the neighbors throwing a party and blasting EDM. I’d go there and talk to them myself but knowing them, I’m concerned I’d be walking into something I’d have to arrest them for.

@mazikeensmithofficial and @eve-official, if you’re reading this, please turn it down. My head hurts.

[eve-official]

Trust us, Chloe. Knowing you, you'll probably hate what you will see. That being said though... You're gonna wish the music was the loudest thing coming from our place.

[chloedeckerofficial]

Thanks for that horrifying heads up!

@lucifermorningstarofficial​, we need to sound-proof the house.

[chloedeckerofficial]

What are you doing rn? also love your blog!! xx

Oh, thank you! Currently, I’m trying to get some work done, despite the neighbors throwing a party and blasting EDM. I’d go there and talk to them myself but knowing them, I’m concerned I’d be walking into something I’d have to arrest them for.

@mazikeensmithofficial and @eve-official, if you’re reading this, please turn it down. My head hurts.

[chloedeckerofficial]

Top 3 most inappropriate things Lucifer has ever done while on a case?

How am I even supposed to pick the top 3 when every single case he does something even more inappropriate... But I guess if I had to choose:

3) An old one but inappropriate nonetheless -- blowing our cover during a sting at some pick-up artist convention (called themselves Players, ugh) to ask the speaker why I, a cop, would not want to sleep with him. 🤦🏻‍♀️

2) Making out with a witness. Who was in some kind of zombie costume. In public. At the crime scene. Was there a promising lead in her mouth? I guess we’ll never know 🙂

1) Trying to touch a charred crotch. No amount of context would make it better so I’m just going to leave it at that.

@lucifermorningstarofficial

[lucifermorningstarofficial]

I’m very proud of all three 😈

[chloedeckerofficial]

I KNOW, that's part of the problem 🤦🏻‍♀️

[chloedeckerofficial]

Top 3 most inappropriate things Lucifer has ever done while on a case?

How am I even supposed to pick the top 3 when every single case he does something even more inappropriate... But I guess if I had to choose:

3) An old one but inappropriate nonetheless -- blowing our cover during a sting at some pick-up artist convention (called themselves Players, ugh) to ask the speaker why I, a cop, would not want to sleep with him. 🤦🏻‍♀️

2) Making out with a witness. Who was in some kind of zombie costume. In public. At the crime scene. Was there a promising lead in her mouth? I guess we’ll never know 🙂

1) Trying to touch a charred crotch. No amount of context would make it better so I’m just going to leave it at that.

@lucifermorningstarofficial

[chloedeckerofficial]

Best memories with your dad? RIP Officer Decker.

Oh, um. I have to admit, talking about my dad is still hard sometimes, but the good times come a little easier. There are so many to choose from, one stands out in particular though.

I was maybe 12 or 13, and my dad had to take me to an audition because my mom was out of town for a convention. My heart wasn’t really in it, I felt under-prepared, the casting people were too impatient to be working with kids… just overall, a recipe for a bad day. Predictably, the audition went poorly. My dad picked up on my mood on the way back home and took a detour to a little ice-cream place near the beach. We split a giant scoop of chocolate while I chattered about everything but the audition.

We made a habit of it. Mom was kind of a stickler for eating healthy, so it was our little secret. Every time I had a bad audition, he’d take me for ice-cream at the beach to cheer me up. And every time I landed a role… he’d take me out for ice-cream at the beach to celebrate.

In hindsight, Trixie may have inherited her sweet tooth from me.

[trixiedeckerofficial]

So… does this mean we can get chocolate cake every time I get a good grade on a test? 🥺

[chloedeckerofficial]

…

Sure thing, monkey.

[trixiedeckerofficial]

AND if I get a bad grade? 😇😇

[chloedeckerofficial]

We’ll see 🙄

[cookiescr]

Soaring with pride.

[chloedeckerofficial]

A very happy pride month to everyone here! No matter where you fall on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and regardless of whether you’re out, closeted, or questioning, Pride is for you. 🏳️‍🌈

So have fun celebrating if you can, and stay safe out there!

[chloedeckerofficial]

Best memories with your dad? RIP Officer Decker.

Oh, um. I have to admit, talking about my dad is still hard sometimes, but the good times come a little easier. There are so many to choose from, one stands out in particular though.

I was maybe 12 or 13, and my dad had to take me to an audition because my mom was out of town for a convention. My heart wasn't really in it, I felt under-prepared, the casting people were too impatient to be working with kids... just overall, a recipe for a bad day. Predictably, the audition went poorly. My dad picked up on my mood on the way back home and took a detour to a little ice-cream place near the beach. We split a giant scoop of chocolate while I chattered about everything but the audition.

We made a habit of it. Mom was kind of a stickler for eating healthy, so it was our little secret. Every time I had a bad audition, he’d take me for ice-cream at the beach to cheer me up. And every time I landed a role... he’d take me out for ice-cream at the beach to celebrate.

In hindsight, Trixie may have inherited her sweet tooth from me.

[trixiedeckerofficial]

So... does this mean we can get chocolate cake every time I get a good grade on a test? 🥺

[chloedeckerofficial]

...

Sure thing, monkey.

[chloedeckerofficial]

Best memories with your dad? RIP Officer Decker.

Oh, um. I have to admit, talking about my dad is still hard sometimes, but the good times come a little easier. There are so many to choose from, one stands out in particular though.

I was maybe 12 or 13, and my dad had to take me to an audition because my mom was out of town for a convention. My heart wasn't really in it, I felt under-prepared, the casting people were too impatient to be working with kids... just overall, a recipe for a bad day. Predictably, the audition went poorly. My dad picked up on my mood on the way back home and took a detour to a little ice-cream place near the beach. We split a giant scoop of chocolate while I chattered about everything but the audition.

We made a habit of it. Mom was kind of a stickler for eating healthy, so it was our little secret. Every time I had a bad audition, he’d take me for ice-cream at the beach to cheer me up. And every time I landed a role... he’d take me out for ice-cream at the beach to celebrate.

In hindsight, Trixie may have inherited her sweet tooth from me.

[chloedeckerofficial]

.

[chloedeckerofficial]

.

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

Not to mention the fact that Mrs. White isn’t qualified to teach. She should be required to take a remedial English course. “I have went”? please. It’s “I have gone”, Mrs. White. 

first, my kid would not sign anything without me seeing it first. 2nd, upon seeing it i would be at the superintendant’s office the next morning. then we would speak to the teacher. black folk gotta nip it in the bud.

[holy-jeez-its-matt]

Dont let your children be controlled like this. I remember back when I was in school my mom always told me “if you really need to use the bathroom or attend to an emergency and the teacher won’t let you, then just leave the classroom and I’ll deal with teacher and principle”

Mom had my back

[sandersstudies]

If I was this kid I would use up those passes and then just fuckin’ throw up or get a severe nosebleed in the classroom and then refuse to leave because “sorry, I can’t go to the nurse, I already used up my two passes for the fucking MONTH”

[xenoqueer]

There was a student at my high school, who we will call John Doe, who actually did that. When teachers gave him a limited number of bathroom allowances (usually 3 per semester, which was the standard at my school), he would use them in the first week, and then induce vomitting my eating rotten food he found around the school garbage cans. If teachers refused to let him go, he would just throw up on something they had to touch. Light switches, keyboards, whatever was available.

Instead of making admin do anything about this toxic policy, they just doubled down harder, to the extent that one girl politely informed a teacher that she felt like she might be about to have a seizure and could she go to the nurse, please. She was denied, sat back down at her desk, and promptly passed out and concussed herself on the concrete floor when she fell. 

Another girl had severe vertigo-induced fainting, could not get a teacher to excuse her from a phys ed class, and fell off a monkey bars and split her head open, and nearly lost an eye because her glasses broke when she landed.

A student with, I believe, diabetes had a severe blood sugar drop and tried to eat a candy bar in a class with a “no food or drinks” rule. The candy bar was taken away, and she had to be taken out by EMTs. 

This kind of human rights abuse in public schools is not new. I graduated a full decade ago. 

I’m glad it’s being publically discussed again, (briefly around 2003-2005 this was also a popular subject of discussion). I hope that this time, concrete changes in policy are actually affected.

[theeldritchbeesechurger]

yo what the FVCK is wrong with schools

[dorklesblog]

They’re run by evil boomers who lick dry tree trunks

[dorklesblog]

What the fuck did I just even say

[theeldritchbeesechurger]

No no it made sense

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

they’re power-hungry, so much so that they’re willing to compromise the health and safety of children in their care for a minuscule power rush

[bread-and-roses-too]

This is literally ableist. A kid who has gastrointestinal issues or bladder problems shouldn’t have to announce that to the class in order to be excused. They shouldn’t even have to tell the teacher.

I was a pretty good student but my anxiety caused me to need to use the restroom a lot. I would try to go between classes but we only had 5 minutes so sometimes I couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine the embarrassment of having to beg my teacher for basic human rights.

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

yes. I have two diagnosed severe anxiety disorders, as well as GERD and a gastrointestinal disease. using the restroom is not optional. and a 5 minute passing period is nowhere near enough time to go to class and use the restroom. my school is huge. it takes 5 minutes just to walk from one end to another. how can I be expected to use the restroom as well in that amount of time? my teachers also have a “1 student at a time” policy, and we’re not allowed to use the restroom within the first or last ten minutes of class. this over-policing nonsense needs to stop. we are human beings, for God’s sake.

[travalerray-deactivated20230723]

What the actual fuck

I remember once when our school decided to strike off marks from a test if a student was absent the day BEFORE a test (Unit tests, mind you).

Good thing it failed effectively, but what the hell is wrong with the schools 

[ineedbackgroundmusicinmylife]

Wtf

[chloedeckerofficial]

Not sure what happened but @lucifermorningstarofficial has been happily bouncing around the precinct like a puppy today and he looks adorable :)

[eve-official]

Do you like your neighbours?

They're pretty annoying, always yelling at us to be quiet. I guess Maze and I do get loud...

[chloedeckerofficial]

You really do..

[angelusmortisofficial-deactivat]

SOS, Celestial squad! Drop here what you want for the holidays! It’s my first time celebrating, you know, without souls? I’m going to set time aside. Also, Lu? Michael? Chloe? …Ella? Anyone? Can I show up at your place basically to just drop off gifts and eat your food? 

@lucifermorningstarofficial @chloedeckerofficial @mazikeensmithofficial @eve-official @trixiedeckerofficial @michaeldemiurgosofficial @lindaofficial @danielespinozaofficial @ella-lopez-official

[trixiedeckerofficial]

yesss come over to our house!!! mommy and i are thinking of making some chocolate cake 😋💕✨

[chloedeckerofficial]

Oh are we now? I don’t remember agreeing to this.. @trixiedeckerofficial 🤔

[lucifermorningstarofficial]

Lucifer!! Do you like the show Black Mirror? If not, I definitely recommend watching it😁 Each episode is just *chef’s kiss* 👌🏼

Hello darling 😈

Ah yes, I believe @angelusmortisofficial was chatting on about it just the other day.. Perhaps I should give it a shot, urchin @trixiedeckerofficial what do you say we watch that instead of another Zoo-Bunnies nonsence rewatch tonight?

[trixiedeckerofficial]

umm.. lucifer i’m pretty sure that’s a show for grown-ups.. and its zootopia, not ‘zoo-bunnies nonsense’ 🙄

[chloedeckerofficial]

@lucifermorningstarofficial there is absolutely no way I’m letting you watch Black Mirror with Trix, it’s completely inappropriate for her age.

[lucifermorningstarofficial]

You live with The Devil, Satan himself and that is inappropriate??

[chloedeckerofficial]

No, you’re plenty inappropriate too :)

[lucifermorningstarofficial]

Lucifer!! Do you like the show Black Mirror? If not, I definitely recommend watching it😁 Each episode is just *chef’s kiss* 👌🏼

Hello darling 😈

Ah yes, I believe @angelusmortisofficial was chatting on about it just the other day.. Perhaps I should give it a shot, urchin @trixiedeckerofficial what do you say we watch that instead of another Zoo-Bunnies nonsence rewatch tonight?

[trixiedeckerofficial]

umm.. lucifer i’m pretty sure that’s a show for grown-ups.. and its zootopia, not ‘zoo-bunnies nonsense’ 🙄

[chloedeckerofficial]

@lucifermorningstarofficial there is absolutely no way I’m letting you watch Black Mirror with Trix, it’s completely inappropriate for her age.

[chloedeckerofficial]

Do you have a favourite cop movie/TV show? (and I hope Lucifer feels better soon!)

Thank you! I’ll let him know

As for cop movies/TV shows- I never really had time to watch many with work and all, but while quarantining I did start B99 because @lucifermorningstarofficial wouldn’t stop calling me Amy Santiago.. I’m enjoying it so far so but I don’t really see how we’re that similar..? Also @trixiedeckerofficial and I watched Zootopia like 4 times in the past two weeks if that counts as a cop movie

Thanks for the ask :)