ᝰ.ᐟ katha

katha (কথা): sanskrit for a tale

[chocolate-watermelon]

i really liked it today when my boyfriend told me - "the coolest thing you can do, is unfollow your instagram standards and be who you really are and accept it with confidence"

[chocolate-watermelon]

just a thought —

what is fashion if not the accentuation of our insecurities, followed by spoon-feeding ways to "hide" those insecurities, only to increase them further. and we end up consuming more of it, while simultaneously feeding into the concept of capitalism and consumerism.

basically just watched this video and loved it so much. just an additional thought even though it is already covered in there.

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ The Mother of a Daughter ˎˊ˗

i curse myself

for having given birth

to a girl child,

because god forbid

she will have to know

the ugly truth of what

it is like to be a woman;

she will know about

the five days of the month,

she will find out

about the monsters on the run,

i will have to tell her

to not wear everything she wants

just for her to argue with me

“why?!” she will scream

“it’s dangerous, that’s why”

i will have to reply back;

i could dress her in pretty frocks, yes

but for only a certain time,

because slowly the frocks and dresses

will become a candy wrapper

for the wolves that haunt the state;

she will find out

what a conundrum it is

to be a woman,

she will be torn

between being beautiful

but not too pretty,

being smart

but not empowering,

being able to solve everything

but not damn arrogant;

she will be confused

so, so confused

and angry at me

because why did i give

birth to a girl child

in this cursed world.

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ Hard Work ˎˊ˗

“hard work pays off”

oh how badly i wished it did

because then i would’ve been

a dancer as my six year old self

always dreamt of,

or a singer, as dreamt of

by my ten year old self,

or maybe i could’ve been

the greatest artist

the world has seen;

because if my hard work paid off

as everyone said it does,

i’d give the world to myself;

but unfortunately so

hard work does not pay off

or maybe it doesn't for me

because i have the ill luck of a moth attracted to flame;

i like to dream high –

of fame and friends and fans

and maybe that is my mortal curse

because none of my dreams ever come true;

and yet, i never learn

to keep my ambition low

and let the universe handle stuff;

but then again

the universe was never kind to me

and i don’t trust it to be kind

to me, ever again.

[nottblessed]

[chocolate-watermelon]

this came so randomly to me and then i saw the bouquet my bf gave me after i lost all my previous ones :')

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ Impure Rivers ˎˊ˗

the rivers are pure no more

they smell of purity no more,

you don't drink the river water any more;

the streams smell of wasted food

and poison,

a poison so toxic

it kills your humanity away;

pure blood runs in your vein no more

what runs is a concoction

of toxicity and RBCs;

you slash your wrist

thinking your blood would be

a splendid stream of maroon,

but alas! it's black and grime

like the toxins you remember not consuming

yet it remains

in all of its evil glory;

the age of evil has bestowed,

a splinter of Lucifer in every man

for we are all angels

discarded from the heaven

and inculcated within us

the Seven Deadly Sins,

it scares me –

scares me for my children

who i wonder will ever learn love,

and if they do, will the world contrive?

or will it contrast?

for the water is poisoned now,

and the blood is spiked.

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ Wet Mushy Cement Path ˎˊ˗

there's a footprint in the cement

old and forgotten

traces of green along its edges

little puddles from the rain last night

it looks familiar –

like a blunder i remember making

on a night that was desolate

and i was scared;

the footprint? it's mine, yes

a result of the steps i took

on the wet mushy cement path,

but if you ask me –

it was dark,

as dark as a haunting abyss

and i was unable to grasp anything

flailing my arms in terror,

it was dark,

and all i could do was move,

move forward and away;

but unknowingly i stepped

into the wet cement

unable to think of what to do next,

and i stepped deeper

into the wet mushy cement path,

engraving the crevices and wrinkles of my foot

onto something that's wrong

something that stuck to me

no matter how much i washed,

something that still remains

for the world to see and mock

while i cower away –

cursing myself, blaming myself, hating myself

because why did i ever walk

on the wet mushy cement path;

but that was long ago –

a time i had prayed to move past,

the cement path has dried

to something hard and concrete,

and permanent and resilient

that no matter how hard i try

i cannot move the footprint away,

i cover it with grass

the wind blows it away,

i cover it with sand

and the rain washes it away;

no matter how hard i try

the footprint still remains,

it stares at me

obnoxiously so,

with a grin so mean

it makes my skin crawl and burn,

but i can do nothing

but water myself down

because the footprint will remain

on the wet, mushy cement path.

[chocolate-watermelon]

──.✦ Good-for-nothings ˎˊ˗

the lazy generation

the good-for-nothing generation

or so we’ve been called

but not -

the protesting generation

the generation raising voices

the generation that stands up

for what’s right and what’s wrong

and not what the ancestors have always done;

the generation that accepts

the generation that questions

the opinionated generation

the pragmatic dreamers’ generation,

the generation aware of its faults

and willing to change

instead of coining their mistakes ‘a tradition’;

such is our generation -

nihilistic but high-key hopeful,

hopeful for a change

hopeful for a better future

that we make on our own,

such is my generation

the good-for-nothing generation.

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ Feel ˎˊ˗

“you’re too naive,

you’re too innocent for this world”,

and the only crime i’ve committed?

was that i feel

i feel too much,

i feel for all;

i feel for the lonely pup across the street,

i feel for the helium balloon

sailing in the sky -

alone and isolated,

i feel for the mother cat who lost her kittens,

i feel for the single flower growing under the brick

away from its mates in the bush two blocks away,

i feel for the hungry child

who stares at the pastry displays,

i feel for the new mother

who desperately tries to calm her crying child,

i feel for the teddy bear in the dumpster

and the abandoned bag of toys,

for the lonely little cloud in the sky

and for the friendless little star;

i feel so much

i know that’s a crime,

because i feel for everything

and everyone but mine.

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ Blooming Neighbourˎˊ˗

the sunbeams are out,

they knock on my budded petal

feeling warm inside, i greet them,

with a smile so wide, they loved it;

i see the warm sun glistening up high

in the pale blue sky,

and i see around me -

grass as green as innocence

drenched in droplets of purity,

i feel my leaves dancing with the breeze

and oh! how happy i feel;

but then i see her -

beauty and elegance all in bloom,

her fragrance enchanting the bees and birds

who come and dance with her too,

her leaves are greener than mine,

livelier than mine, and happier than mine;

her pretty pink petals

are brighter than mine, bigger than mine,

and so much more beautiful than mine,

she is so pretty

i hate her,

i wish i was her too -

brighter and prettier and happier

yet i’m all but her -

smaller and paler and sadder;

i don’t want to play anymore,

the sunbeams call out to me

they ask me why, they tell me not to go,

but i leave with my hated self

back to my bud,

dryer and darker and sadder.

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ Brown ˎˊ˗

they say brown is a dull colour

it’s boring, it’s drab, it’s ugly

but they have not witnessed

the smell of freshly soiled ground,

and sip of freshly brewed coffee

on a lovely rainy evening,

and mom’s brown leather purse -

full of discount coupons and pennies;

they say brown is a dull colour

because they probably have seen

the muddy puddles and dirty roads,

the brown water that clogs the manholes;

but they have never witnessed -

the pretty brown eyes

that glow under the sun,

the pretty brown eyes

that hold nothing but pure love,

the pretty brown eyes

that captivate your heart

and entrance your soul;

they say brown is a boring colour

but they have not met you, my dear

and have definitely not fallen in love

with your pretty brown eyes

[paper-wounds]

[chocolate-watermelon]

── .✦ The Corner Plant ˎˊ˗

i see the greens daily,

i see them getting watered daily,

i see the sunbeams playing with their leaves daily,

i see them being happy and smile daily;

i see them from my little corner -

my little dark and damp corner,

where the sunbeams don’t play

and heaven does not sprinkle its tears;

i’ve seen the kids smile at the other greens

but give me the look of pity,

i’ve seen the maidens water the others

but pay no attention to me,

i’ve seen the men admire the others

but only tsk at me -

i’ve seen it all;

i’ve seen my happy days too

of luscious green leaves

and healthy stems that could dance

with the sunbeams that dance with me too,

and i’ve seen my mother

young and smiling

watering me every day,

i miss her now;

i miss her and my happy days,

i miss my lush greens and dancing stems,

i miss the kids’ bright eyes when they say,

“i want to be like you when i grow up”;

i hope the kid is nowhere like me -

old and wrinkled and dry and alone,

i hope he is like the others -

green and healthy, tall and bright;

i see the greens daily,

i see them getting watered daily,

i see them play with the sunbeams daily,

and i see them from my corner daily

as the corner plant.