Open Letter to an Old Friend
Friends. It’s a word, no a term we throw around quite often every day. But what is a friend? Do we still have the meaning for it as we had five, ten years ago? There are people I consider my friend, but are they my friend? In the online version they are- Facebook claims my friendships are strong and wonderful. We interact every day! You like my photo, I like your status…
But when was the last time we communicated? The last time you messaged me, let alone called me?
We’ve known each other for fifteen years. I’ve called you my friend for years, I’ve listed you as a future bridesmaid. And yet, it’s been two years since you made direct contact with me.
Three, if you ignore the fact I was always the one to start the conversations.
Why do I feel the need to still call you a friend? Just last week Facebook popped up with a message, all fireworks and smiles saying we’ve been friends for six years!
We saw each other once, last year. You had no idea that I was becoming a teacher or that I had cut my hair short (a year earlier.) You seemed surprised I knew your boyfriends name, and that I knew you were finally getting the promotion you’d wanted. How did I know? I laughed, because I cared- that’s how. We’re friends, right? We should know the small stuff.
But you’re not my friend, not anymore.
All I am is a number, a statistic in the crowd to witness the successes you want to share on Facebook. And for so long, I’ve accepted that to mean we’re friends even after all this time.
I refuse to be a number to you. I refuse to care anymore, for someone who doesn’t know anything about me that’s not on my Facebook wall.
Why do I feel guilty, though? Did I not try hard enough to keep our friendship alive? I say you don’t call me, but do I call you?
I have to remind myself that I did call you. For over two years, I was the one calling first, messaging first. I burnt my end of the candle all the way down…but you never even lit a match. You barely responded, cut me short with a “bye, love you.”
Unfriending someone seems so drastic, so final. But it’s time to end this charade, this false friendship.
So goodbye, and thanks for the memories.
- EW