MASTERLIST What started out as an infatuation with a certain King is now a fully fledged Choices obsession. In this house we are sluts for pixels. 18+ content.
Hi frens. Since it takes me so long to update series at the best of times, and I’m going to be restarting/rewriting both of my TRR series, I thought I’d do a post to see if people still want their tags! I’ve literally never done a taglist update so half the people I went to tag are deactivated now haha.
Let me know if you would like to stay tagged or added to a different list, and if you don’t, just ignore this and I’ll take you off, it’s all good! I promise there’ll be no hard feelings if you don’t want a tag on a two year old series lol (or anything for that matter).
I love you so so so so so much, my equally <redacted> bestie!!! Stay a whore (lovingly) forever 🥹🫶🏻💕💕💕💕💕💕
P! 💗💗💗💗💗💗
thanks for texting me to come actually read this lol. i love you more my equally fucking [redacted] angel girl!!!! to the moon and to saturn baby 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
hi besties. couldn’t even tell you the last time I was on here, so I’m sure this post will come as no surprise to lots of you.
it feels slightly embarrassing to have to post this, especially as I’ve posted of a similar nature before, but fuck it. we write smut about pixels, how much more embarrassing can life get <3
to be honest, i’ve been struggling for a long time but things came to a head this year. this little hellsite was always my safe space but i think i may actually rely upon it a little too heavily. i love reading and writing and getting to talk to all of you, so much, but i feel like this has been my escape for so long that i need to take some time and truly learn how to prioritise myself and my mental health.
i’ll be fine, I just wanted to explain my absence and lack of interaction with all of you. i see all the tags coming in and feel so guilty i’m not up to reading and showering you all with the praise you’re due, so i’m hoping this will ease that slightly!
i won’t make any promises that end up making me feel guilty when i can’t follow them through, so i’ll just stick with this - I’ll be back when I feel up to it and may lurk every now and then. until then, slide into dem DMs or hit up my digits. love you xxx
This is not meant to be received as an anonymous hate message. My deepest apologies if this hurts your feelings, but since your fellow Open Heart fandom friends won’t be honest with you, I felt I should help you out the way I would want someone to help me.
We see you, Jerz. I promise we know you exist. You’ve got our attention. You are so obnoxiously showy, how can we not? And no one seems to have the heart to tell you this.
Your desperation to be acknowledged and seen by others is worrisome. You post when you wake up; you post when you add a word to your work; you advertise for your series “Delaying the Inevitable” morning, noon, night. Jerz, it’s a bit much. No one walks around, talking about how great they are or how great their accomplishments are the way you do. That might not be your intention, but when you post things, like your most recent post about your Asks and how many requests you have, this is seen as gloating. I don’t know if you realize this, but when you post things like that, you might as well construct a giant neon sign that says, “Look at me! I am so popular!”
I’ve watched you for a few months now, and I know you and your friends are going to accuse me of jealousy. I’m not, but I understand why you would see me that way. But honestly, not many people would idolize someone who is tactless, brash, and selfish. This is how you come across to a lot of people. You might actually be a wonderful person. I would never know because you seem quite self-absorbed and a braggart. Are you familiar with the term “one-upper?”
I am going to give credit where credit is due: you have hustled your ass off and went straight for the jugular, making sure everyone knew your presence is valuable, including the more higher-rated writers. You can’t comment or reblog anything without marketing yourself and your own work. You clearly are your number 1 fan, and I think that’s great that you have so much confidence in yourself.
You’re probably thinking “What’s the point of this message?” Seriously congratulations to growing number of readers and your fans; congratulations on having such a high view of yourself; congratulations on networkinging with such confidence and zero Fs.
But this honest thirst to be the center of attention, I promise we see you, Jerz. We know you’re there. And how could we not? We know you are going to have the last word. We know that you are going to comment on any post related to Open Heart, especially if it’s about a thirst trap concerning Ethan or Tobias. You post every time you wake up, or when inspiration strikes, or when a certain food or song or movie reminds you of your couples.
You don’t have to share everything. This is not meant to be hateful, but I hope you become more aware of your actions so you can become a better person.
And I already know what you are going to say. I will unfollow. I truly enjoyed your stories.
I’ve sat on this. I wasn’t going to share because I want my blog to be a positive place. Plus, everyone has people who dislike them, so why give my haters porn? But, in the end, I need to say a few things (“getting the last word” Nonny?) and it’s important for people to know that such small and cowardly people lurk among us.
You admit you don’t know me, yet you sure act as if you do. I’m not quite sure how that works.
I am passionate. If I love something, I am enthusiastic to a fault and I give it my all, and I love our fandom. I love creating content, I love reading others’ works and building them up and, no, Nonny, when commenting or reblogging I don’t “always self-promote”. Sometimes I will discuss my work if it is relevant, usually with people I consider friends. I did find one reblog from the past week that some may have misconstrued. I deleted it and reached out to the author to apologize. I have not heard back from her, but I hope she understands there was no mal intent. I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash if she had done the same thing to me.
I am pretty self-aware. I know I can be annoying. I’m zealous and I overshare. There are personal reasons for that, but it’s who I am. Friends who do know me laughed at your assertations. They know I’m my own worst critic, I’m full of self-doubt, and I deal with crippling anxiety. They also know that being part of this “supportive” (for the most part) community has helped me. How kind of you to attempt to thwart that. What you know about me is nothing and your belief that you do speaks volumes to how highly you think of yourself. Isn’t that what you’re accusing me of?
Like every writer, I want people to read my work, and I love engaging with readers. But networking? Convincing “higher-rated writers” to like me? Girl, stop. This isn’t my job. I don’t get paid for this. This is fanfiction. It’s fun! Dear God, do you take it that seriously? Yes, I’ve become friends with people. People behind popular and small blogs, people who are readers. I assure you that building these friendships had nothing to do with networking. We got to know each other, like and care for each other, and we’ve been there to support each other when we need it most. It looks like some people find me likable, and I know how to be a friend. If you struggle with that, I suggest you look for the reason instead of attacking me.
You state you have “watched me for a few months now.” Yet my behavior is worrisome? It seems my post apologizing for having so many outstanding anons triggered you. You assumed I was trying to say “look at me I’m so popular”. I had to laugh. First off, popular? Look at my note count, it’s nothing to be jealous of. I posted it because the majority of requests sitting in my inbox are anons that I can’t reach out to personally or I would. My readers REALLY matter to me, and I don’t want anyone to think they’ve been forgotten. The fact that your mind goes to such a horrible place, about an admitted stranger, is pathetic. It speaks to who you are, not me.
Look, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… and that’s OK. I’m sure you’re not either. That’s life. But you send this hate, and to be clear, it is hate, thinking you’re a better person? What have I done to hurt anyone in this fandom? Tell me. I’ll wait. I’ve never done anything as vile as you. Do you feel you can sit in judgment of me? That you have the moral superiority to tell me to be a better person when your actions already show what kind of person you are? The irony! If anyone needs reflection, it’s you.
I strongly suggest you think twice before doing something like this to anyone else in the future. I have been through enough in my life to let this roll off my back, but not everyone can. Some people could be terribly hurt, or harm themselves if they received something like this. Dear God, examine yourself.
This is such dry cooch behaviour. So embarrassed for this person’s life and soul. Anon, hit me up and I’ll give you my therapist’s number lol - it’s alarmingly clear that you need it more.
Do you realise that prefacing an ask with ‘this isn’t meant to be an anonymous hate message’ doesn’t just fucking magically erase any malicious intent? News flash, anon - you’re still a top tier cunt. Trying to justify your words will never negate that.
Elsa may be one of the least obnoxious people I’ve met and been lucky enough to become friends with in the entire Choices fandom. She doesn’t write or post because she wants attention; she writes because she loves the same characters that we all do. She posts because she’s excited; what kind of person do you need to be to put someone down for that?
And d’you know what? Thank God she posts as much as she does. This fandom is slowly dying as it is, I’d hate to think what state it would be in if it wasn’t for Elsa and other lovely creators keeping it alive.
This is the most condescending and patronising anonymous message I’ve ever seen and it genuinely sickens me to think I’m in the same fandom as you. I could say more - so, so much more - but if I let my rage at this message consume me then I’ll be the one getting cancelled for nasty messages LOLOL
You say you’ll unfollow, but we all know you’ve been glued to Elsa’s blog ever since you sent this. Next time, just keep your fucking trap shut. But my girl thanks you for the notes!
Premise: Ethan steps in when Teddy struggles to take care of herself.
Warnings: Very angsty, mentions of past death and extreme grief.
Word Count: 1.9K
Author's Note: This isn’t much, I just always hated the way PB had MC returning to normal life so quickly after the attack. Teddy absolutely struggled afterwards, and I like to think that Ethan helped her through it.
I know we all have our own ideas about how MC may have struggled afterwards, but this is the route my own fucked up and traumatised brain went lol. Thanks to my angels @burnsoslow and @foreverethereal123 for prereading this for me!
Teddy wakes in a panic, a loud banging repeatedly pounding against her front door as she comes to. Attempting to catch her breath, she stands from her bed on weak legs, having to hold onto her sheets to stabilise herself. Only then does she realise where she is: back in her bedroom, alone, alive.
Remembering what woke her, she rushes to open the front door, finding a familiar face with an unfamiliar expression crossing it: one she’s only seen for a single night before.
“Ethan?”
“Rookie.” He lets out a deep breath that he’d clearly been holding in, chest heaving as he steps forward and cradles her face in his hands. “You’re alright.”
Her eyebrows come together as she stares up at him, bewildered at the rough emotion in his voice. “Of course I’m alright. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been trying to call you.” He drops his arms, stepping past her and wandering into the open apartment space as she shuts the door behind him with a mocking smile.
“Please, come in.”
She turns around to find his gaze already on her; unimpressed and a hint of fear lingering behind.
“People are worried about you, Teddy.”
She shrugs, moving to return to her room without waiting to see if he’ll follow. “They don’t need to be. I’m fine.”
Laying down on her bed, she feels the mattress dip as Ethan’s large frame settles by her feet.
“Teddy.”
His tone is pleading, forcing her to look into his eyes.
“I’m worried about you.”
The sincerity in his gaze; the glossy shine of his unshed tears; the tremble in his unusually frail voice; they all take her straight back to that fateful night, the only time she’s ever been witness to the unbreakable Ethan Ramsey utterly terrified.
Swallowing over a fresh bout of tears and an overwhelming wave of grief, she pulls her sweater tighter around herself, a subconscious act of protecting herself from the real world.
Her throat working painfully, she shrugs yet again. “There’s nothing to worry about. I’m here. I’m fine. I’m alive.”
Saying those last few words still makes her throat burn, her stomach plummeting as she tries to battle the negative thoughts in her head; the ones that have her questioning everyday why she lived and they didn’t.
The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you’d left behind riding on your shoulders.
It was worrying how easily her mind could surmise that Danny and Bobby were better people than her; had far more to live for. Every night since the funeral, she had fallen asleep to the image of Bobby’s young daughter crying at his graveside, haunting her every time she closed her eyes. The memories of Danny’s mother having to bury her young son, weeping over his casket.
Even Rafael was facing life long injuries that could prevent him from doing the job he loved. Superman they called him; saving everyone in arm’s reach even if it meant putting himself in harm’s way. Especially when it meant that.
How had she managed to leave that dreaded room with nothing more than nightmares?
Feeling Ethan’s palm gliding over her thigh, she looks back to him, finding his troubled gaze focused on her.
“Talk to me.”
“Why?” Swallowing over the lump in her throat, she avoids his eyes. “It’s not going to change anything. It won’t bring anyone back.”
“No, it won’t.” Ethan moves towards her on the bed, pulling her tightly into his chest as her body remains unmoving, frozen in a state of misery. “But when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
He feels her body relax ever so slightly, clearly taking his words on board, so he continues.
“The human capacity for guilt is such that people can always find ways to blame themselves, Teddy. You wouldn't be you if you weren’t feeling like this. All of your beautiful traits are what’s making this so difficult to cope with, but you need to give yourself a break. This guilt is a heavy burden to carry when you’re already grieving, Rookie. Let it go.”
For a minute there is utter silence, the only sound Teddy’s heavy breaths as she stays deep in her thoughts. Until she inhales sharply, her voice frail as she whispers to him.
“I feel…”
Her voice breaks with the effort of holding back her tears, still trying so hard to stay strong and save face.
Ethan curls his arms around her even tighter, smoothing his hand over the crown of her head as he brushes the soft hair. Kissing her forehead, he mumbles against her clammy skin.
“It’s okay.”
“Every single night, I dream that I’m back there with no idea what’s going on. No idea what Travis let off; all I know is that we’re about to go through torture. All I can see is Bobby gasping for air and your wide eyes through the door, scared that that was the last I’d ever see them.”
She’s been trying so hard not to explode; using every last bit of her energy to hold it together. But as soon as she lets her true feelings break free, she simply shatters.
“I lost all hope that I’d get out of there, Ethan. And now that I have… I feel like a fucking failure.” A sobs break free, the sound tearing Ethan’s heart in two. “It’s like Danny and Bobby died for fucking nothing.”
The statement physically pains him, unimaginable how difficult it must be for Teddy to utter the words.
“How can you say that, Rookie?”
“Because.” The first tear rolls free, burning her eyes as she bites the inside of her cheek, hiding her face as she burrows into Ethan’s chest. “They died protecting me and now I can’t even get out of my fucking bed.”
“Teddy-”
‘They both died these horrible deaths, and somehow I get to live; for some godforsaken reason it’s me that got to walk out of that hospital room. And for what? So that I could lie in my bed having nightmares? Too afraid to even go outside in case I do something wrong again? In case it is me that dies this time?”
Ethan’s shirt grows damp, Teddy’s tears now falling freely as she wails against him. His own fall as he listens to her surrender to her heartbreaking grief, his body trembling with an involuntary shiver as he clings tightly to her.
As much as he wants to tell her not to feel this way, no matter how much he wants to scream that she has every right to feel her own pain; he knows she needs to let this out. He’s afraid to say anything that could risk her retreating into herself again, so he waits, ready to sit there and let her cry for as long as she physically needs.
“I mean, I caused this Ethan.” She suddenly goes quiet, her chest heaving and her eyes wide with anguish as Ethan looks down at her. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t poached the senator. Because of me, Bobby’s family have to live without their father. Because of me, my best friend lost what might have been the love of her life. Because of-”
“No.” His voice is rough as her body jerks upright, looking at him in surprise. “I won’t have you taking responsibility for this. Travis caused this.”
“But if I didn’t-”
“No, Theodora.” He swallows painfully, pulling Teddy into his lap as he cradles her like precious cargo, forcing her to look into his eyes. “This was not your fault.”
All she can do is throw her arms around him, words failing her as she clutches his broad frame and finally allows her grief an outlet for the first time in weeks, bawling until she feels nothing anymore.
When she wakes, she’s only aware she must have fallen asleep when her eyes open to her room now in darkness, her tears dried and under her sheets with Ethan’s arms wrapped tightly around her.
Turning in them, she finds Ethan’s eyes already on her. “Hey.”
Pressing a tender kiss to the tip of her nose, he pulls her in deeper. “So, I’ve been thinking while you’ve been asleep.”
“Uh oh.”
He chuckles softly, and when he hears Teddy’s quiet laughter joining the sound for the first time in weeks, he feels a heavy weight lift from his chest. Her smile is the rainbow, a soft beam of sunlight brightening his world after the heavy storm they’ve weathered.
It’s a sign of hope.
“I’d like you to come and stay with me.”
That brings her head rearing back, looking up at him with wide eyes. “What?”
“I’ve already taken the time off before you tell me not to.”
She sits upright, shaking her head as she pulls her sweater from the ground to cover her. “Ethan-”
“Just listen to me first, please. Then if you still don’t want to, that’s fine.”
She turns around to face him, nodding hesitantly and motioning for him to speak.
Taking a steadying breath, he sits beside her as he takes her hands in his. “Rookie, you’ve experienced something extremely traumatic, and no one thinks any less of you for taking time off to get better. We all understand and just want you to get the help you need.”
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her body shivers; from the heartwarming gesture or her crippling fears, she doesn’t know.
“It doesn’t need to be me, but I do think that you should talk to someone.”
He can see her battling herself internally, her eyebrows scrunching deep in thought as she chews on her bottom lip. She’s just about to open her mouth when he speaks again, already knowing what her answer will be.
“I’m struggling too, Teddy.”
That takes her by surprise.
“You are?”
He nods, lacing their fingers together and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “Immensely. I’m so frightened that something might happen to you that I can barely get through the day. I know it’s selfish, but I just want you to be with me at all times.”
As much as the decision to have her stay with him was made purely in her best interests, he can’t deny the way his heart beats as normal once more with her safe in his arms.
“And I’m going to get some help too.”
“It’s about damn time.”
He snorts at that, shaking his head with fond amusement as he pinches her side.
“Brat.”
She giggles as she wipes a stray tear, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I mean… if it’ll help you, I guess I’ll come stay.”
His resulting grin breaks free, spreading wide on his face as he kisses her passionately. Standing up, he pulls her to her feet and into his arms, her legs looping around his waist as she sighs contentedly, feeling protected with him surrounding her.
“Come on, I’ll help you pack.”
What he doesn’t tell her is that if she agrees, he has no intention of ever living without her again. If he has to take anything away from the attack, it’s that he’s wasted far too much time pretending he’s not in love with Teddy Valentinos, and he’ll be damned if he spends another day without showing her just how much.
PB has so many opportunities to address trauma and they don’t.
This was so powerful and well written.
Saying those last few words still makes her throat burn, her stomach plummeting as she tries to battle the negative thoughts in her head; the ones that have her questioning everyday why she lived and they didn’t.
The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you’d left behind riding on your shoulders.
So much this. She can’t help but feel this way, and it is completely realistic. I’m still not over Danny dying.
“No, it won’t.” Ethan moves towards her on the bed, pulling her tightly into his chest as her body remains unmoving, frozen in a state of misery. “But when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
This is such an Ethan thing to say and I am so soft for him comforting Teddy. Talking is good. Even if it sucks.
“The human capacity for guilt is such that people can always find ways to blame themselves, Teddy. You wouldn't be you if you weren’t feeling like this. All of your beautiful traits are what’s making this so difficult to cope with, but you need to give yourself a break. This guilt is a heavy burden to carry when you’re already grieving, Rookie. Let it go.”
Probably not the right time, but Ethan. I am sad. Come heal me.
Sorry. But he’s so right here.
She’s been trying so hard not to explode; using every last bit of her energy to hold it together. But as soon as she lets her true feelings break free, she simply shatters.
I’m so glad she’s listening and talking it out. This is canon as far as I’m concerned.
“Because.” The first tear rolls free, burning her eyes as she bites the inside of her cheek, hiding her face as she burrows into Ethan’s chest. “They died protecting me and now I can’t even get out of my fucking bed.”
I totally get this, because this is me. Not that I’ve been in this situation. But the she should be doing better than she is even though she has every right to feel her feelings and if dealing with them means she’s in bed for the day, that’s what needs to happen.
As much as he wants to tell her not to feel this way, no matter how much he wants to scream that she has every right to feel her own pain; he knows she needs to let this out. He’s afraid to say anything that could risk her retreating into herself again, so he waits, ready to sit there and let her cry for as long as she physically needs.
UGH
He’s being so great and I’m gonna cry. He was so scared of losing her and now he wants to help her and this Ethan is making me very emo.
He full named her and she finally let it all out. ❤️
What he doesn’t tell her is that if she agrees, he has no intention of ever living without her again. If he has to take anything away from the attack, it’s that he’s wasted far too much time pretending he’s not in love with Teddy Valentinos, and he’ll be damned if he spends another day without showing her just how much.
@queenrileyrose girl, I know. Teddy and Ethan gon have to go to therapy with BP Liam if they wanna stay sane lol
So much this. She can’t help but feel this way, and it is completely realistic. I’m still not over Danny dying.
The way Danny is completely forgotten about is fucking shocking! Sienna alludes to the situation on their last night and that’s it! PB are dumb cunts
This is such an Ethan thing to say and I am so soft for him comforting Teddy. Talking is good. Even if it sucks.
I’m so glad you think so! Writing Ethan being emotionally intelligent was difficult hahaha, but I agree that this is the kind of thing he’d say!
Probably not the right time, but Ethan. I am sad. Come heal me.
It’s always the right time to simp for Ethan. The way my depression would be intensely improved if this man was in my bed nursing and fucking me 😌
I totally get this, because this is me. Not that I’ve been in this situation. But the she should be doing better than she is even though she has every right to feel her feelings and if dealing with them means she’s in bed for the day, that’s what needs to happen.
This part of the fic was solely based on how I think I’d react in this situation based on how I normally react to trauma (badly lol). I definitely think that’s how Teddy would feel too, especially bc she’s so active and constantly busy at her job, to stay at home and help no one feels like a massive failure.
He full named her and she finally let it all out. ❤️
The full name hits in angst and smut apparently 😍
Thanks so much for this amazing reblog, Rach! Love you so much! 🤍
Premise: Ethan steps in when Teddy struggles to take care of herself.
Warnings: Very angsty, mentions of past death and extreme grief.
Word Count: 1.9K
Author's Note: This isn’t much, I just always hated the way PB had MC returning to normal life so quickly after the attack. Teddy absolutely struggled afterwards, and I like to think that Ethan helped her through it.
I know we all have our own ideas about how MC may have struggled afterwards, but this is the route my own fucked up and traumatised brain went lol. Thanks to my angels @burnsoslow and @foreverethereal123 for prereading this for me!
Teddy wakes in a panic, a loud banging repeatedly pounding against her front door as she comes to. Attempting to catch her breath, she stands from her bed on weak legs, having to hold onto her sheets to stabilise herself. Only then does she realise where she is: back in her bedroom, alone, alive.
Remembering what woke her, she rushes to open the front door, finding a familiar face with an unfamiliar expression crossing it: one she’s only seen for a single night before.
“Ethan?”
“Rookie.” He lets out a deep breath that he’d clearly been holding in, chest heaving as he steps forward and cradles her face in his hands. “You’re alright.”
Her eyebrows come together as she stares up at him, bewildered at the rough emotion in his voice. “Of course I’m alright. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been trying to call you.” He drops his arms, stepping past her and wandering into the open apartment space as she shuts the door behind him with a mocking smile.
“Please, come in.”
She turns around to find his gaze already on her; unimpressed and a hint of fear lingering behind.
“People are worried about you, Teddy.”
She shrugs, moving to return to her room without waiting to see if he’ll follow. “They don’t need to be. I’m fine.”
Laying down on her bed, she feels the mattress dip as Ethan’s large frame settles by her feet.
“Teddy.”
His tone is pleading, forcing her to look into his eyes.
“I’m worried about you.”
The sincerity in his gaze; the glossy shine of his unshed tears; the tremble in his unusually frail voice; they all take her straight back to that fateful night, the only time she’s ever been witness to the unbreakable Ethan Ramsey utterly terrified.
Swallowing over a fresh bout of tears and an overwhelming wave of grief, she pulls her sweater tighter around herself, a subconscious act of protecting herself from the real world.
Her throat working painfully, she shrugs yet again. “There’s nothing to worry about. I’m here. I’m fine. I’m alive.”
Saying those last few words still makes her throat burn, her stomach plummeting as she tries to battle the negative thoughts in her head; the ones that have her questioning everyday why she lived and they didn’t.
The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you’d left behind riding on your shoulders.
It was worrying how easily her mind could surmise that Danny and Bobby were better people than her; had far more to live for. Every night since the funeral, she had fallen asleep to the image of Bobby’s young daughter crying at his graveside, haunting her every time she closed her eyes. The memories of Danny’s mother having to bury her young son, weeping over his casket.
Even Rafael was facing life long injuries that could prevent him from doing the job he loved. Superman they called him; saving everyone in arm’s reach even if it meant putting himself in harm’s way. Especially when it meant that.
How had she managed to leave that dreaded room with nothing more than nightmares?
Feeling Ethan’s palm gliding over her thigh, she looks back to him, finding his troubled gaze focused on her.
“Talk to me.”
“Why?” Swallowing over the lump in her throat, she avoids his eyes. “It’s not going to change anything. It won’t bring anyone back.”
“No, it won’t.” Ethan moves towards her on the bed, pulling her tightly into his chest as her body remains unmoving, frozen in a state of misery. “But when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
He feels her body relax ever so slightly, clearly taking his words on board, so he continues.
“The human capacity for guilt is such that people can always find ways to blame themselves, Teddy. You wouldn't be you if you weren’t feeling like this. All of your beautiful traits are what’s making this so difficult to cope with, but you need to give yourself a break. This guilt is a heavy burden to carry when you’re already grieving, Rookie. Let it go.”
For a minute there is utter silence, the only sound Teddy’s heavy breaths as she stays deep in her thoughts. Until she inhales sharply, her voice frail as she whispers to him.
“I feel…”
Her voice breaks with the effort of holding back her tears, still trying so hard to stay strong and save face.
Ethan curls his arms around her even tighter, smoothing his hand over the crown of her head as he brushes the soft hair. Kissing her forehead, he mumbles against her clammy skin.
“It’s okay.”
“Every single night, I dream that I’m back there with no idea what’s going on. No idea what Travis let off; all I know is that we’re about to go through torture. All I can see is Bobby gasping for air and your wide eyes through the door, scared that that was the last I’d ever see them.”
She’s been trying so hard not to explode; using every last bit of her energy to hold it together. But as soon as she lets her true feelings break free, she simply shatters.
“I lost all hope that I’d get out of there, Ethan. And now that I have… I feel like a fucking failure.” A sobs break free, the sound tearing Ethan’s heart in two. “It’s like Danny and Bobby died for fucking nothing.”
The statement physically pains him, unimaginable how difficult it must be for Teddy to utter the words.
“How can you say that, Rookie?”
“Because.” The first tear rolls free, burning her eyes as she bites the inside of her cheek, hiding her face as she burrows into Ethan’s chest. “They died protecting me and now I can’t even get out of my fucking bed.”
“Teddy-”
‘They both died these horrible deaths, and somehow I get to live; for some godforsaken reason it’s me that got to walk out of that hospital room. And for what? So that I could lie in my bed having nightmares? Too afraid to even go outside in case I do something wrong again? In case it is me that dies this time?”
Ethan’s shirt grows damp, Teddy’s tears now falling freely as she wails against him. His own fall as he listens to her surrender to her heartbreaking grief, his body trembling with an involuntary shiver as he clings tightly to her.
As much as he wants to tell her not to feel this way, no matter how much he wants to scream that she has every right to feel her own pain; he knows she needs to let this out. He’s afraid to say anything that could risk her retreating into herself again, so he waits, ready to sit there and let her cry for as long as she physically needs.
“I mean, I caused this Ethan.” She suddenly goes quiet, her chest heaving and her eyes wide with anguish as Ethan looks down at her. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t poached the senator. Because of me, Bobby’s family have to live without their father. Because of me, my best friend lost what might have been the love of her life. Because of-”
“No.” His voice is rough as her body jerks upright, looking at him in surprise. “I won’t have you taking responsibility for this. Travis caused this.”
“But if I didn’t-”
“No, Theodora.” He swallows painfully, pulling Teddy into his lap as he cradles her like precious cargo, forcing her to look into his eyes. “This was not your fault.”
All she can do is throw her arms around him, words failing her as she clutches his broad frame and finally allows her grief an outlet for the first time in weeks, bawling until she feels nothing anymore.
When she wakes, she’s only aware she must have fallen asleep when her eyes open to her room now in darkness, her tears dried and under her sheets with Ethan’s arms wrapped tightly around her.
Turning in them, she finds Ethan’s eyes already on her. “Hey.”
Pressing a tender kiss to the tip of her nose, he pulls her in deeper. “So, I’ve been thinking while you’ve been asleep.”
“Uh oh.”
He chuckles softly, and when he hears Teddy’s quiet laughter joining the sound for the first time in weeks, he feels a heavy weight lift from his chest. Her smile is the rainbow, a soft beam of sunlight brightening his world after the heavy storm they’ve weathered.
It’s a sign of hope.
“I’d like you to come and stay with me.”
That brings her head rearing back, looking up at him with wide eyes. “What?”
“I’ve already taken the time off before you tell me not to.”
She sits upright, shaking her head as she pulls her sweater from the ground to cover her. “Ethan-”
“Just listen to me first, please. Then if you still don’t want to, that’s fine.”
She turns around to face him, nodding hesitantly and motioning for him to speak.
Taking a steadying breath, he sits beside her as he takes her hands in his. “Rookie, you’ve experienced something extremely traumatic, and no one thinks any less of you for taking time off to get better. We all understand and just want you to get the help you need.”
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her body shivers; from the heartwarming gesture or her crippling fears, she doesn’t know.
“It doesn’t need to be me, but I do think that you should talk to someone.”
He can see her battling herself internally, her eyebrows scrunching deep in thought as she chews on her bottom lip. She’s just about to open her mouth when he speaks again, already knowing what her answer will be.
“I’m struggling too, Teddy.”
That takes her by surprise.
“You are?”
He nods, lacing their fingers together and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “Immensely. I’m so frightened that something might happen to you that I can barely get through the day. I know it’s selfish, but I just want you to be with me at all times.”
As much as the decision to have her stay with him was made purely in her best interests, he can’t deny the way his heart beats as normal once more with her safe in his arms.
“And I’m going to get some help too.”
“It’s about damn time.”
He snorts at that, shaking his head with fond amusement as he pinches her side.
“Brat.”
She giggles as she wipes a stray tear, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I mean… if it’ll help you, I guess I’ll come stay.”
His resulting grin breaks free, spreading wide on his face as he kisses her passionately. Standing up, he pulls her to her feet and into his arms, her legs looping around his waist as she sighs contentedly, feeling protected with him surrounding her.
“Come on, I’ll help you pack.”
What he doesn’t tell her is that if she agrees, he has no intention of ever living without her again. If he has to take anything away from the attack, it’s that he’s wasted far too much time pretending he’s not in love with Teddy Valentinos, and he’ll be damned if he spends another day without showing her just how much.
Premise: Ethan steps in when Teddy struggles to take care of herself.
Warnings: Very angsty, mentions of past death and extreme grief.
Word Count: 1.9K
Author's Note: This isn’t much, I just always hated the way PB had MC returning to normal life so quickly after the attack. Teddy absolutely struggled afterwards, and I like to think that Ethan helped her through it.
I know we all have our own ideas about how MC may have struggled afterwards, but this is the route my own fucked up and traumatised brain went lol. Thanks to my angels @burnsoslow and @foreverethereal123 for prereading this for me!
Teddy wakes in a panic, a loud banging repeatedly pounding against her front door as she comes to. Attempting to catch her breath, she stands from her bed on weak legs, having to hold onto her sheets to stabilise herself. Only then does she realise where she is: back in her bedroom, alone, alive.
Remembering what woke her, she rushes to open the front door, finding a familiar face with an unfamiliar expression crossing it: one she’s only seen for a single night before.
“Ethan?”
“Rookie.” He lets out a deep breath that he’d clearly been holding in, chest heaving as he steps forward and cradles her face in his hands. “You’re alright.”
Her eyebrows come together as she stares up at him, bewildered at the rough emotion in his voice. “Of course I’m alright. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been trying to call you.” He drops his arms, stepping past her and wandering into the open apartment space as she shuts the door behind him with a mocking smile.
“Please, come in.”
She turns around to find his gaze already on her; unimpressed and a hint of fear lingering behind.
“People are worried about you, Teddy.”
She shrugs, moving to return to her room without waiting to see if he’ll follow. “They don’t need to be. I’m fine.”
Laying down on her bed, she feels the mattress dip as Ethan’s large frame settles by her feet.
“Teddy.”
His tone is pleading, forcing her to look into his eyes.
“I’m worried about you.”
The sincerity in his gaze; the glossy shine of his unshed tears; the tremble in his unusually frail voice; they all take her straight back to that fateful night, the only time she’s ever been witness to the unbreakable Ethan Ramsey utterly terrified.
Swallowing over a fresh bout of tears and an overwhelming wave of grief, she pulls her sweater tighter around herself, a subconscious act of protecting herself from the real world.
Her throat working painfully, she shrugs yet again. “There’s nothing to worry about. I’m here. I’m fine. I’m alive.”
Saying those last few words still makes her throat burn, her stomach plummeting as she tries to battle the negative thoughts in her head; the ones that have her questioning everyday why she lived and they didn’t.
The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you’d left behind riding on your shoulders.
It was worrying how easily her mind could surmise that Danny and Bobby were better people than her; had far more to live for. Every night since the funeral, she had fallen asleep to the image of Bobby’s young daughter crying at his graveside, haunting her every time she closed her eyes. The memories of Danny’s mother having to bury her young son, weeping over his casket.
Even Rafael was facing life long injuries that could prevent him from doing the job he loved. Superman they called him; saving everyone in arm’s reach even if it meant putting himself in harm’s way. Especially when it meant that.
How had she managed to leave that dreaded room with nothing more than nightmares?
Feeling Ethan’s palm gliding over her thigh, she looks back to him, finding his troubled gaze focused on her.
“Talk to me.”
“Why?” Swallowing over the lump in her throat, she avoids his eyes. “It’s not going to change anything. It won’t bring anyone back.”
“No, it won’t.” Ethan moves towards her on the bed, pulling her tightly into his chest as her body remains unmoving, frozen in a state of misery. “But when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
He feels her body relax ever so slightly, clearly taking his words on board, so he continues.
“The human capacity for guilt is such that people can always find ways to blame themselves, Teddy. You wouldn't be you if you weren’t feeling like this. All of your beautiful traits are what’s making this so difficult to cope with, but you need to give yourself a break. This guilt is a heavy burden to carry when you’re already grieving, Rookie. Let it go.”
For a minute there is utter silence, the only sound Teddy’s heavy breaths as she stays deep in her thoughts. Until she inhales sharply, her voice frail as she whispers to him.
“I feel…”
Her voice breaks with the effort of holding back her tears, still trying so hard to stay strong and save face.
Ethan curls his arms around her even tighter, smoothing his hand over the crown of her head as he brushes the soft hair. Kissing her forehead, he mumbles against her clammy skin.
“It’s okay.”
“Every single night, I dream that I’m back there with no idea what’s going on. No idea what Travis let off; all I know is that we’re about to go through torture. All I can see is Bobby gasping for air and your wide eyes through the door, scared that that was the last I’d ever see them.”
She’s been trying so hard not to explode; using every last bit of her energy to hold it together. But as soon as she lets her true feelings break free, she simply shatters.
“I lost all hope that I’d get out of there, Ethan. And now that I have… I feel like a fucking failure.” A sobs break free, the sound tearing Ethan’s heart in two. “It’s like Danny and Bobby died for fucking nothing.”
The statement physically pains him, unimaginable how difficult it must be for Teddy to utter the words.
“How can you say that, Rookie?”
“Because.” The first tear rolls free, burning her eyes as she bites the inside of her cheek, hiding her face as she burrows into Ethan’s chest. “They died protecting me and now I can’t even get out of my fucking bed.”
“Teddy-”
‘They both died these horrible deaths, and somehow I get to live; for some godforsaken reason it’s me that got to walk out of that hospital room. And for what? So that I could lie in my bed having nightmares? Too afraid to even go outside in case I do something wrong again? In case it is me that dies this time?”
Ethan’s shirt grows damp, Teddy’s tears now falling freely as she wails against him. His own fall as he listens to her surrender to her heartbreaking grief, his body trembling with an involuntary shiver as he clings tightly to her.
As much as he wants to tell her not to feel this way, no matter how much he wants to scream that she has every right to feel her own pain; he knows she needs to let this out. He’s afraid to say anything that could risk her retreating into herself again, so he waits, ready to sit there and let her cry for as long as she physically needs.
“I mean, I caused this Ethan.” She suddenly goes quiet, her chest heaving and her eyes wide with anguish as Ethan looks down at her. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t poached the senator. Because of me, Bobby’s family have to live without their father. Because of me, my best friend lost what might have been the love of her life. Because of-”
“No.” His voice is rough as her body jerks upright, looking at him in surprise. “I won’t have you taking responsibility for this. Travis caused this.”
“But if I didn’t-”
“No, Theodora.” He swallows painfully, pulling Teddy into his lap as he cradles her like precious cargo, forcing her to look into his eyes. “This was not your fault.”
All she can do is throw her arms around him, words failing her as she clutches his broad frame and finally allows her grief an outlet for the first time in weeks, bawling until she feels nothing anymore.
When she wakes, she’s only aware she must have fallen asleep when her eyes open to her room now in darkness, her tears dried and under her sheets with Ethan’s arms wrapped tightly around her.
Turning in them, she finds Ethan’s eyes already on her. “Hey.”
Pressing a tender kiss to the tip of her nose, he pulls her in deeper. “So, I’ve been thinking while you’ve been asleep.”
“Uh oh.”
He chuckles softly, and when he hears Teddy’s quiet laughter joining the sound for the first time in weeks, he feels a heavy weight lift from his chest. Her smile is the rainbow, a soft beam of sunlight brightening his world after the heavy storm they’ve weathered.
It’s a sign of hope.
“I’d like you to come and stay with me.”
That brings her head rearing back, looking up at him with wide eyes. “What?”
“I’ve already taken the time off before you tell me not to.”
She sits upright, shaking her head as she pulls her sweater from the ground to cover her. “Ethan-”
“Just listen to me first, please. Then if you still don’t want to, that’s fine.”
She turns around to face him, nodding hesitantly and motioning for him to speak.
Taking a steadying breath, he sits beside her as he takes her hands in his. “Rookie, you’ve experienced something extremely traumatic, and no one thinks any less of you for taking time off to get better. We all understand and just want you to get the help you need.”
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her body shivers; from the heartwarming gesture or her crippling fears, she doesn’t know.
“It doesn’t need to be me, but I do think that you should talk to someone.”
He can see her battling herself internally, her eyebrows scrunching deep in thought as she chews on her bottom lip. She’s just about to open her mouth when he speaks again, already knowing what her answer will be.
“I’m struggling too, Teddy.”
That takes her by surprise.
“You are?”
He nods, lacing their fingers together and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. “Immensely. I’m so frightened that something might happen to you that I can barely get through the day. I know it’s selfish, but I just want you to be with me at all times.”
As much as the decision to have her stay with him was made purely in her best interests, he can’t deny the way his heart beats as normal once more with her safe in his arms.
“And I’m going to get some help too.”
“It’s about damn time.”
He snorts at that, shaking his head with fond amusement as he pinches her side.
“Brat.”
She giggles as she wipes a stray tear, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I mean… if it’ll help you, I guess I’ll come stay.”
His resulting grin breaks free, spreading wide on his face as he kisses her passionately. Standing up, he pulls her to her feet and into his arms, her legs looping around his waist as she sighs contentedly, feeling protected with him surrounding her.
“Come on, I’ll help you pack.”
What he doesn’t tell her is that if she agrees, he has no intention of ever living without her again. If he has to take anything away from the attack, it’s that he’s wasted far too much time pretending he’s not in love with Teddy Valentinos, and he’ll be damned if he spends another day without showing her just how much.
@lsvdw-blog I’m so glad that she finally let it all out too! Thank god Ethan was there, it could have been a disaster if she had to go through that alone.
Soooooo happy you loved that 🥺 it wouldn’t be them if she wasn’t making jokes at the most inappropriate times lol. And yes!! Man finally grew a pair and went for it!
Premise: All work and no play makes Ethan a dull boy.
Lol sorry I couldn’t get that out my head. Ethan gets a special visitor when he fails to come home from the hospital.
Warnings: NS*FW
Word Count: 1.8K
Author's Note: Caveman Ramsey ™️
Thank you my luvs @ao719 and @burnsoslow for prereading this for me!
“You know when I agreed to live with you - I thought I’d maybe get to see you once every 48 hours.”
Ethan’s startled by Teddy’s sudden appearance in his office, his eyes squinting to look towards the darkened doorway after hours of staring at the blinding light of his computer screen. Sighing, he leans his head back against his leather chair and stretches his tense body out.
“I’m sorry, Rookie.” Wiping his hands over his face as he lets out a rarely seen yawn, he stands to greet her. “I’m trying to get as much admin done as possible before I officially start. Dealing with the board will be bad enough.”
He reaches her in a few short strides, cradling her small frame in his tired arms and feeling an instant bout of warmth in his chest.
She holds her arms around his waist as she leans back and inspects his face. “You look exhausted, agápi mou. Let me help.”
Shaking his head resolutely, he walks to sit in his desk chair, pulling her alongside him. “You’ve got enough to do taking over the team. I’ll manage.”
The way in which he collapses into his seat immediately defies his comments, slouched in a pair of jeans and a shirt that he keeps in his office for emergencies. Emergencies that aren’t supposed to include not showering for two days.
She takes a seat in his lap, legs hanging over his as she curls her arm around his shoulders and begins to massage the back of his neck.
She instantly scolds herself; the loud groan that escapes Ethan’s lips only further fuels the desire that had played a hand in leading her back to the hospital at this time of the night. Alas, that was before she saw how exhausted her boyfriend was, so a change of plan appeared to be in need.
Letting her hands work up his neck and into his thick head of hair, she moves her legs to straddle his hips, stretching comfortably over the wide spread of his frame.
Her nails scratch delightfully at his scalp, relaxing his body instantly and bringing his head back to rest atop the headrest. Pressing a tender kiss to his forehead, her hands drop to his broad shoulders, kneading the tense muscles as his eyes open in a daze.
Noticing the heated look in Teddy’s eyes, he sits upright but her hands quickly drop to her side. Turning to break his gaze, she notices the extravagant sofa sitting by the opposite wall.
She turns around with raised eyebrows as she mocks him. “Very fancy, Chief Ramsey. Do you plan on entertaining many people here?”
He rolls his eyes as a crooked smirk tilts his lips. “Just the one.”
“Atta boy.”
She holds onto his shoulders as her eyes travel the length of the room, taking in every small detail as Ethan chuckles beside her.
“What’s so interesting? You’ve seen the Chief’s office before.”
“Yeah, when it was Harper and Naveen’s. Now I’m looking for all the places I can have a quickie at work.”
“Is that so?” She turns back to meet his smouldering gaze, hands already moving to grip her hips through her denim shorts.
“And I must say,” she leans in to press a hot kiss to his lips. “Big fan of the new walls.”
He practically growls as he lurches forward, moving to drag her across the growing bulge in his pants.
“Ah, ah.” She immediately leans back, dropping onto her feet to stand between his body and desk. “None of that. You have a big day tomorrow so let’s get you home and well rested.”
His chair rolls forward, trapping her body tightly as he grasps her narrow waist. “I can think of a few ways to relax here before we get home.”
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Teddy attempts to relay a message to her core that this isn’t happening. Ethan looks like he could pass out from sheer exhaustion, and she knows he needs to be back in the building in less than eight hours. Although… her presence does seem to have slightly revived him. Is she a bad girlfriend if she gives in when he’s so clearly drained?
Either way, her body isn’t prepared to listen to the debate. She’s only human, after all.
She bends to grasp the hem of his shirt, tugging it off in one quick pull before it’s dropped to the ground. “Fine,” she drops to her knees as she unbuckles his belt, freeing him from the tight confines of his boxers as she pulls at the waistband. “But I’m relaxing you.”
“Well, if that’s the case.” He surges forward, wrapping his arms around Teddy’s waist and lifting her up onto his large desk.
“Ethan, no. I was-”
Pointing at his crotch, she frowns in confusion and disappointment.
“Don’t worry about me,” he rasps, quickly tugging at the button of her shorts and curling his thumbs into them. “Lift up for me, sweetheart.”
Body moving on autopilot, she does as she’s told; leaning back on her palms as Ethan drags the material down her shapely legs.
“I’m trying to take care of you, old man. Have you even had dinner?”
He sends her a wink that has her core clenching.
“I’m having it right now.”
Throwing the shorts behind him without a care in the world, he grasps behind her knees, pulling her to the edge of the table and dropping to his knees before her. Spreading her legs apart, he chokes on a moan as he runs his thumb down the sheer lace of her underwear, already damp and clinging to her.
Ghosting his lips up her thighs, his deep voice rumbles against her as he nips at the soft skin with his teeth. “Up.” His palms curl under her ass, fingers hooking into the thin waistband holding her scrap of underwear together. “Need them off. Now.”
Fuck. Teddy recognises that tone; the entity she refers to as ‘Caveman Ethan’ is out to play, incapable of forming full sentences in his urgency.
As if she wanted any differently anyway, she does exactly as she’s told before spreading her legs even wider on the desk, giving Ethan a private show.
“Do you know how goddamn sexy you are, Rookie? How much I want you right now?”
Arching her back against the table and moving to sit up, she pouts when he gently pushes her back down. “I want you too, Ethan. I want to make you feel good.”
She watches as he shakes his head, removing himself fully from his boxers and clutching her soaking thong in his hand. Wrapping the thin material around his cock, her head falls back against the hardwood as she whimpers.
“You see this, Rookie? You’re still getting me off, too.”
Not even giving her a chance to catch her breath after possibly the most erotic sight of her entire life, he dives in, pressing his nose and lips against her wet pussy and groaning as he chokes himself in a tight fist.
Hooking her legs over his shoulders, Teddy’s head falls back against the table, vision going hazy as she stares up at the ceiling and thanks God for the skill of Ethan Ramsey’s mouth.
At this very moment, she can do nothing but praise the work ethic that led her here tonight. His commitment to the job fully translates to the current lashing of his tongue, never changing pace as he works tirelessly to bring her quickly to the edge.
“Ethan,” she cries out, her hips moving against his face by their own accord. “Please.”
She doesn’t even know what she’s begging for, only that her body can barely handle the intense pleasure he’s giving her for a minute longer.
His forearm comes down over her hips, pinning her tightly to the table as his other hand works feverishly against himself, the ripping flex of muscles in her line of sight catapulting her towards the finish line.
His thumb comes down to rub tight circles over her swollen clit as his tongue enters her, groaning against her like a man starved. Her hands scramble to cover her mouth, attempting to trap the loud moan that tumbles out of her control. Ethan’s dark gaze snaps up to hers, lifting his shining face as two deft fingers enter her.
“Let it out, I want to hear you when you come.”
Instantly curling them to hit the sweet spot that makes her cry out, he adds firm pressure as his mouth comes back down to swirl and flick over her clit once more.
Thighs trembling uncontrollably against the sides of his face, Teddy lets out a shrieking scream as sparks fly across her eyes and her hips lift from the table.
He brings her back down with slow strokes of his tongue, her pussy pulsing and body shaking as his hand slows the movement on his throbbing length, his mind focused solely on her pleasure.
Ethan stands to move over her slumped body, lips moving over her skin tenderly as he makes his ascent. Lying beside her on the sizeable desk, she feels the unmistakable heat of him as his cock presses into her hip.
“You didn’t-”
He silences her with his lips, moving over hers so fiercely that she simply can’t allow him to go untended.
“Come on, baby.” She takes him in her hand, thick and heavy against her fingers as she begins to twist them up and down his cock. “You want to rub it here? Rub it where you made me come. Feel how soaked you got me.”
“Christ.”
Letting him fall into her as he positions himself through her velvety folds, she hears him hiss in pleasure as his hips begin to move against her, gliding easily against her wetness.
“Jesus, Teddy. You feel fucking incredible.”
His face falls to the crook of her neck, his breath hot against her sensitive skin as she rolls her hips beneath him.
He curses under his breath, groaning as she continues to rub herself against him with increasing need. Their movements become more frantic, her clit already humming again as their lips meet in delirious pleasure.
She quickly comes again, her mouth falling open in a strangled scream as he continues to slide against her.
“Fuck, Rookie. I’m going to-”
Her voice is hoarse as she threads her fingers through his thick hair, whispering as she meets his hooded gaze.
“Where do you want to give it to me, Chief?”
Grunting as he holds on for just long enough to tell her, she takes him in her mouth as his hips jerk furiously before finally stilling, his breath harsh in the open air between them as she takes everything he gives her.
Collapsing beside her in exhaustion, now rather delightfully, he pulls her into his strong arms, holding onto each other as they catch their breath.
“Well worth the wait.”
She chuckles curiously as she looks up at him, eyes narrowed in confusion.
Book: Open Heart, Beyond
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende-Ramsey)
Format: Pictagram/ Social Media Edits
Summary: A glimpse into the first part (out of three) of their honeymoon. Destination: Cancun.
Author’s Note: I started working my MC Monday for this upcoming week and this whole thing got away from me. Oops.
Hi frens. Since it takes me so long to update series at the best of times, and I’m going to be restarting/rewriting both of my TRR series, I thought I’d do a post to see if people still want their tags! I’ve literally never done a taglist update so half the people I went to tag are deactivated now haha.
Let me know if you would like to stay tagged or added to a different list, and if you don’t, just ignore this and I’ll take you off, it’s all good! I promise there’ll be no hard feelings if you don’t want a tag on a two year old series lol (or anything for that matter).
Summary: Tobias is looking to get away from everyone for a night, so he heads to an unfamiliar place where he meets an alluring stranger.
Warnings: Cursing, Explicit sexual content
Words: 2927
A/N: OK, so I’ll admit it. After having my character slut shamed, it took a very long time for me to feel comfortable writing smut again. Today, I’m super happy to say… screw them… smut is back.
A/N 2: That said, it’s been a while folks, I don’t know if it’s like riding a bike, lol so I hope it’s good.
CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS.
It wasn’t someplace where he typically found himself on a Saturday night. It was one of the hottest new bars in town, and, as much as he wouldn’t want to admit it, the trendy, young Boston scene was no longer his thing. He had graduated to a more polished and exclusive set that most of these kids couldn’t afford, that is when he wasn’t at Donahue’s. He chuckled sardonically. Name dropping his usual haunts alone, he could probably snatch any of these women off their dates' arms. Luckily for them, he wasn’t interested. He came here tonight because he wanted to have a few drinks in a place where he was unknown. So, a trendy hotel bar in the Seaport it was.
“What can I get for you?” The bartender asked as Tobias removed his coat.
“Vodka tonic, and make sure you use top-shelf.”
The bartender nodded as he took a stool with such ease you would think he was a regular. His crisp white shirt adorned with onyx cufflinks and hand-tailored suit was far from what he’d usually be wearing, but anyone who saw him would agree, he wore them well.
“Here you go, sir.” The bartender slid a lime rind onto his drink and placed it in front of him.
He inhaled deeply before taking a long gulp, exhaling with satisfaction when he was done. It felt good being here, and he noted that he should do it more often. His eyes scanned the room filled with scantily clad women, most trying way too hard, and the men, far too eager to please them. The corner of his lip raised as he chuckled. Luckily, he wasn’t there to pick up because there wasn’t a single person who could hold his attention for more than a minute.
He emptied his drink quickly and ordered another, wondering if he should get something stronger for round three. He’d play it by ear.
“Dirty vodka martini, extra olives, please.”
“Coming your way,” the bartender answered. Tobias noticed his voice was much smoother than when he spoke to him.
He was a bit bothered. The action was on the floor, and at the tables, the bar itself was relatively empty, yet she had to pick a stool just two away from him. He decided to completely ignore her. Idle chat was not on his agenda for the night.
But a shattering noise destroyed his plan.
“Oh, gosh!” She huffed. “I’m sorry, I’m such a clutz. Do you have a bar towel so I can….”
“Don’t think of it, dear,” the bartender smiled, “we’ll take care of that. Tony, get the lady another drink for the lady. This one is on the house.”
“Thank you,” she smiled. “You’re very kind.”
“Don’t mention it,” he grinned.
Tobias tilted his head in the stranger’s direction, curious to see how she could have dropped her glass before finishing even one drink. But as he turned, she quickly stole his attention. The soft waves of her flowing blonde hair framed her face as she lifted her new glass to her full, crimson-stained lips. It wasn’t his intention, but his mind immediately went to how beautiful she would look if those lips were wrapped around his….
“I’m sorry, can I help you?” she asked.
Broken from his reverie, he answered, sounding almost insulted. “Excuse me?”
“You’re staring at me. I assumed there was a reason, so I’m asking if I can help you.”
His turquoise eyes met her sapphire blues, and, suddenly, he was intrigued.
“Does it bother you when I stare?” he asked with a smirk.
She was taken aback at first but recovered quickly. “I don’t know,” she said, popping an olive into her mouth, “I haven’t had enough time to access if you’re someone I’d want staring at me.”
“Well,” he said, standing and moving to the stool beside her. “How do we remedy that.”
“You buy me my second drink,” she giggled.
“Bartender,” he yelled, his eyes never leaving hers.
An hour passed. Enough time for small talk and flirtatious laughs. It was enough time for her to be mesmerized by his charm and beguiled by his smile. It was enough time for him to have taken in the curve of her calves and the smooth skin of her thighs as they peeked out for the dangerously high slit on her black dress. She had the face of an angel but a body that had him thinking of nothing but sin. As they continued to talk, he could think of nothing but those thighs wrapped around his waist.
“I’ve never seen you around here before. Are you here on business,” she asked, tugging on the lapel of his suit.
“No, I live here in town. I just wanted to come someplace where I wouldn’t be bothered by anyone I knew.”
“Oh,” she said, pushing her hair behind her ear. “I hope you don’t mind being bothered by someone you don’t know.”
“I’m not bothered at all,” he growled, “I couldn’t be happier that I stumbled in here.”
One olive remained on the ornamental sword in her glass when she lifted it out.
“You don’t say,” she cooed before seductively sucking it off with her lips.
“You like olives,” he chuckled.
“Yes,” she grinned with a raised eyebrow. “Do you?”
“I do, but it’s been a while.” He slowly leaned in and took those plump lips in his, pushing them apart with his tongue, which eagerly tangled with hers. “They taste as good as I remember,” he said, brushing a loose tendril from her face. “But I think that pretty mouth of yours could be put to better use than plucking olives off a stick, don’t you think.”
“I don’t know,” she answered coyly. “What did you have in mind?”
His hand fell to her knee, barely grazing her skin, and he began to drag it slowly up her thigh.
“This bar is in a hotel,” he breathed into her ear. “If we get a room, perhaps I could show you?”
Without saying a word, she slid off her stool and grabbed her silver clutch in her hand. “Why don’t you lead the way?”
His eyes smiled as he took her hand and headed toward the lobby doors.
“Wait,” she said, tugging him back.
“What is it?”
“I don’t mean just now. I meant for the rest of the night.”
His brow knit just a bit as he looked at her quizzically, but her coquettish smile put him at ease.
“I don’t just want you to lead the way now. If it’s all right with you, I’d like you to take the lead all night.”
He was uncertain of what was growing more, the smile on his face or his erection straining against his pants.
“That can be arranged,” he smiled.
As their tongues and limbs were entwined in the hall, he struggled with the key card, kicking the door open the second he heard it unlock. Stumbling inside, his hands began to move more freely, smoothing over her hips, her ass, and her thighs. He took a step back to look at her in the room's dim lighting, mesmerized as his teeth sunk into his lower lip.
“Yes?” she grinned.
“Take your clothes off. Right now.”
Her hands moved quickly, eager to comply. She unzipped the back of her black silk dress and rolled the thin straps off her shoulders. She shimmied her hips until the delicate fabric fluttered down to her ankles on the floor. As she stood before him in nothing but her silver heels, a black lace bra with a matching thong, he thanked his good fortune for having picked this place tonight.
“When I said take off your clothes, I meant all of your clothes.”
With a smile that was far more innocent than anything that would happen tonight, she unfastened her bra, which quickly joined her dress on the floor. Her thumbs looped into the waist of her thong and promptly relieved herself of them. Bending over seductively to remove the strappy silver shoes, she heard him scold.
“No! Leave the heels on.”
Her anticipation was becoming nearly intolerable as he sauntered toward her, taking his time to absorb every inch of her. His eyes never left hers as his hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs circling around her taught nipples.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “I promise I’ll take good care of you tonight. By the time you leave here in the morning, you’ll never forget my name.”
“What is your name?” she asked.
“Tobias.”
“Do you want to know mine?”
“Only if you want to share.”
“I don’t. Why don’t you just call me baby for the night.”
“I can do that,” he said before his lips reclaimed hers. His hands clenched her ass harder and harder as his kiss intensified. He lowered his lips to the peak of her breast, slowly sucking on each swollen nipple as his fingers teased the other. As her groans became louder and he couldn’t wait any longer.
His buckle was already undone, and his pants fell to his feet when he moved. Her eyes bulged wide when she saw the size of him pressed against his white briefs. She licked her lips in anticipation. There was no doubt about it. This was going to be a night she’d never forget.
“Get on your knees,” he ordered, and she quickly obeyed.
“Such a good girl,” he said, caressing her hair. He removed his hands to lower his briefs, and he smiled smugly when she gasped as he sprung out at her.
“Like what you see?” he asked, tangling one hand in her hair.
“Mmm-Hmm.”
“I’m glad. Now, open your mouth for me, baby. I’ve wanted to see those lips around me all night.”
She started slowly, licking and sucking his tip, before dragging her teeth over his sensitive head.
“That feels really good, baby, but that’s not what I asked for. I want your lips around me. Take me all in.”
She moaned in anticipation as she felt moisture dripping down her thing. She opened her mouth wide as he pushed inside her.
“Yessss,” he hissed, “Ohhh, yes, angel, keep making me feel good.”
His hands roughly gripped the hair, giving it a tug before he pushed her head into him as hips began gyrating against her.
“Oh, you’re doing such a good job. I can’t believe that pretty little mouth can take me so well.”
Her heart raced as she relaxed her throat, attempting to take him in further. She had never been so eager to please anyone before. He rubbed her head gently in appreciation, fantasizing about the things he was going to do to her later.
“Just a little more, beautiful,” he said, pushing into her mouth. “Look at you; you’ve almost got it all in. Almost no one has been able to do that, princess. You are fucking amazing.”
He let out a gasp as her mouth, tongue, and teeth worked in tandem to eke out his pleasure. He held her head in his hands as his cock pulsated. The last thing he wanted to do was stop, but he knew he was less than a minute away from exploding into the back of her throat, and he wasn’t ready to let that go just yet.
She whimpered when he pulled away, gazing at him with sad eyes.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Not at all. I just don’t want to come before I’ve even had a chance to play with you.”
“Come here and sit on my lap,” he said, sinking back into an easy chair.
The feel of his hardness rubbing against her back as she settled on his lap was almost more than she could stand. His hands encircled her waist, giving a little squeeze before they found their way to her breasts. His fingers twisted her hardened peaks as she began quivering against him. Increasing his intensity, his mouth fell to her neck, relishing the sweet taste of her skin. The sensations overwhelmed her, and she gently pulled away from him.
He immediately stopped what he was doing and turned her head toward him.
“Oh, no, sweetheart. I would have been fine letting you take the lead, but that’s not what you asked for. That’s not what we agreed to, is it?”
She shook her head in silence.
“I know you can do better than that. You have to take whatever I give you tonight. Do you understand?”
“I do.”
“Now, if you want me to stop, you say so, and I will. But unless you want to stop, I’m in control.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I will let you go this time, but no more warnings, precious. You’re such a good girl, and I don’t want to spend tonight punishing you.”
He lowered his hand between her things, and she shivered as his fingers found their way into her soaked folds.
“God, you’re so wet for me. It’s going to feel so good sliding my cock into you. I almost want to throw you on the bed and have you right now.”
“You… you can,” she stammered.
“Thank you, baby. But I’ll take you soon enough.”
His fingers began to draw circles around her swollen clit. Just when she thought she would come, he lowered his hand and plunged two fingers inside her with a vengeance.
“Ahhh,” she shrieked, eager to move against him.
“Tobias?” she asked.
He smiled at the mention of his name and stopped sucking her neck to answer.
“Yes, baby.”
“May… may I move against you.”
“You want to fuck my fingers? Of course, you can, princess. It’ll help get you stretched out for me. Go ahead, fuck them hard, baby.”
She began moving wildly against him, his dick rubbing against her as she desperately moved on him. Any restraint he had was now gone.
“OK, that’s it,” panted, “get on the bed. I have to have you right now.”
“How do you want me?”
He fell onto his back and pulled her on top of him, his erection eagerly awaiting her dripping core.
“Sit on my cock. I’ll stay still until you’re ready for more.”
She straddled him at once and moved his head to her slick opening. She sunk down, both gasping as he filled her. At first, she moved slowly, letting out soft whimpers as her velvety walls stretched to accommodate him. He smiled as he watched her working so hard to take him.
“You’re doing such a good job, angel. Keep fucking me, I promise. Just get past this, and I will make you feel so good.”
His words set her aflame, and she couldn’t wait anymore. Her body began to jerk against him, and he pulled her toward him to suck her nipples as she pounded against him. She was moving so quickly that sometimes she would pull right off him.
He laughed as he pressed on her shoulders, encouraging her to stop.
“Slow down, baby. I’m not going anywhere. You can have me as long as you like.”
With a jagged breath, she rolled her hips much slower this time. She closed her eyes to savor the feeling of swollen shaft rubbing up inside her. It felt like heaven.
With his dick filling throbbing inside her and his hands worshiping every inch of her body, she slowly came undone. Her whimpers morphed into desperate moans, and he loved making her lose control.
“I know, baby. You feel good, right? Make those noises for me, beautiful. Let me know how good you feel.”
He rubbed the pad of his thumb against her clit as she bore down on him, each meeting her with a powerful surge of his hips. He was deeper inside her than anyone had been before, and she could not get enough. He grabbed her hands and held them tight when her body began to tremble. He felt her walls clenching around him, and he forced his dick into her as she became tighter and tighter.
“Fucking shit,” he yelled, “I can barely get into you. Jesus, baby, you feel so fucking good.”
With a soft whimper, she moved on top of him again.
“That’s it baby girl, ride me. Ride me hard while I fuck you. Keep going, baby, keep going. I want to feel you come, I want to feel…. I want to feel…..”
“Aaaahhh…” together, they groaned as pleasure overwhelmed them. White light blinded her as he erupted deep inside her.
Gasping for breath, she collapsed on top of him, their glistening skin slick against each other. Before he could utter any words, Tobias peppered the hypersensitive skin on her shoulders with kisses, causing her to giggle and roll off him. No sooner had she done that when his strong arms reached out, yanking her back into his embrace.
“You are so fucking amazing, Casey,” he smiled.
“You’re not so bad yourself, my love.”
“So let me ask,” he said, “would this time count as you picking me up, or did I pick you up.”
“This time, I think it was mutual.”
“Damn, then what do we do next time?”
“I don’t care, as long as we fuck like animals after.”
“Oh, well, that’s a given, baby,” he said, pulling her face to his in a lingering kiss. “Have I ever told you how glad I am that we met?”
“Mmm, hmm… but tell me again. I mean, we have the room all night.”
I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I WAS TO SEE A NOTIFICATION FROM YOU THAT SAID EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT. MY WHORE IS BACK!
It may not be like riding a bike, but it sure is like riding another hard object 😌
Name dropping his usual haunts alone, he could probably snatch any of these women off their dates’ arms.
JDJDJSJSKSKS HE’S SO COCKY AND I LOVE IT. He knows he could get any bitch in that place and I love that for him
“You’re staring at me. I assumed there was a reason, so I’m asking if I can help you.”
Checkmate 👏🏼
She had the face of an angel but a body that had him thinking of nothing but sin.
Omg this is perfection
“But I think that pretty mouth of yours could be put to better use than plucking olives off a stick, don’t you think.”
“I’m glad. Now, open your mouth for me, baby. I’ve wanted to see those lips around me all night.”
I’m fucking bricked up
Almost no one has been able to do that, princess.
The way if Tobias (or anyone probably lol) said this to me I’d be trying to take him into my fucking lungs if it meant pleasing him 🤣🤣😂
“Sit on my cock. I’ll stay still until you’re ready for more.”
“You are so fucking amazing, Casey,” he smiled.
OMG THE GRIN ON MY FACE RIGHT NOW. I LEGIT DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING LMAO (just them)
This trope is so fucking sexy and I wanna try it so bad now lol. Also… I may or may not have had a dream about writing Tobias smut and then woke up and saw this? Are we in slutty soul sisters or what 💕
Hi frens. Since it takes me so long to update series at the best of times, and I’m going to be restarting/rewriting both of my TRR series, I thought I’d do a post to see if people still want their tags! I’ve literally never done a taglist update so half the people I went to tag are deactivated now haha.
Let me know if you would like to stay tagged or added to a different list, and if you don’t, just ignore this and I’ll take you off, it’s all good! I promise there’ll be no hard feelings if you don’t want a tag on a two year old series lol (or anything for that matter).
Summary: Two years after his path last crossed Brynn's, a weekend away in Miami forces Ethan to confront what could have been. This is a follow-up to my piece To Fix the Pain and Happier.
Song Inspiration: How to be Yours by Chris Remzema
Words: ~6.3k
Rating/Warnings: T: some language, swearing, and suggestive material.
A/N: I have lovingly called this fic my Everest for months now. I don't know why it was so hard to finish, but inspiration finally fell into place, and I'm pretty happy with where these two ended up. Thank you so much to anyone who asked about E&B, as well as the anon that sent in the prompt: “truth is that I'm so damn in love with you I don't know what to do with myself.“ I had to tweak it a little bit to get it to fit into the story.
A/N #2: Thank you to @txemrn for pre-reading and pushing me to knock this one out!
Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read, like, comment, or share this story. It means the world to me!
“Absolutely not.”
Ethan’s jaw clenched involuntarily as he tossed the brochure back in his partner’s direction, barely bothering to glance up at Tobias. “Completely out of the question.”
Tobias took the folded piece of paper, chuckling at his best friend’s enthusiastic rejection. Staring down at Ethan, he tapped the brochure against the palm of his hand, “You were the one that said we need to branch out and make more connections.”
“With credible medical professionals,” Ethan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You and I are very well aware that these conferences are nothing more than…..”
“Big pharma throwing their money around?” Tobias said. “Save the speech Ramsey, you know I’ve already heard it. How about you try this for me: think of it as an opportunity instead. You use the weekend to put yourself out there.” He gave an exaggerated gasp. ”Dare I say…you might even have some fun.”
“You and I have very different definitions of fun.”
“True,” Tobias said. “My idea of an exciting Friday night does not include watching reruns of Nigella episodes.”
Dropping his glasses down to his desk, Ethan let out an audible sigh, “I thought we agreed that you would handle all of the networking, while my focus would remain on patient care.”
“Well, if you paid attention to the calendar alert I sent you…..” Tobias said, pointedly staring at Ethan’s neglected cell phone. “You would know that I’m already scheduled to be in Washington that weekend. The Sabin Institute is honoring me…..”
“For your work in vaccinology. Shit…” Ethan muttered under his breath. “It completely slipped my mind.”
“Tends to happen when you focus on work and nothing else.” Tobias glanced at his partner, painfully aware that it had been years since Ethan’s sole mission wasn’t the clinic. He sighed, rubbing his hand along his face, “Look, I’m not here to judge. Just give it a chance, would ya?” He shrugged his shoulders as he headed out of his partner’s office, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Ethan shook his head as the door closed behind Tobias, leaving him alone with his thoughts. The advertisement still sat at the edge of his desk, piquing Ethan’s curiosity. He glanced up, making sure the doorway was empty before reaching out to take it, scoffing over the pretentious headlines.
But despite Ethan’s hesitation, he knew Tobias was right. It wasn’t the worst idea in the world to leave the quiet comfort of his office for a few days. His last excursion to Miami felt like a different lifetime, the city’s skyline still eliciting memories of hurried kisses and tempting touches.
Perhaps it was time to form new memories.
He grimaced at the thought, trying to ignore the strains on his heartstrings as he thought of Brynn. Her face still passed through his mind most days. Whether it was the mention of a new intern at his former hospital or the latest medical mystery he solved, Brynn was the one he thought of, wishing he could share the news with her.
However, their time together was a relic of the past, leaving lasting, but faded scars on Ethan’s heart. In the years since he last saw her, he had tried dating, finding a couple of partners to occupy his time and his bed for a few short months. But inevitably, the conversations started to steer towards something more, something Ethan was unwilling to give. Despite being perfectly clear with his intentions, they all ended the same way: a pissed-off former partner and Ethan alone again, his walls more impenetrable than the best bank vaults in the world.
He had opened himself to something more once. What had that gotten him?
An aching heart and an empty office that he could still not bear to fill.
He glanced down at the brochure once again before releasing a defeated sigh. He would never say as much out loud, but maybe Tobias was right. Perhaps some space from Boston was what he needed. One last moment of nostalgia before saying goodbye to his ghosts for good.
What was the worst that could happen?
****
“Christ.”
Ethan’s strained whisper escaped his lips as he looked around the room, filled with booths dedicated to the latest medical advancements. He had barely stepped inside before his name rang out, flogged by pharmaceutical reps and physicians from different regional hospitals.
He bristled at the attention, already aware of what would follow: the inevitable questions about his choice to leave Edenbrook. Many of his peers declared his decision reckless and foolish, unable to understand why a man of his reputation would choose to focus on the needy over the profitable. He was tempted to leave the ballroom altogether and catch the first plane back to Boston, but one of his colleagues got his attention, bringing him into the fray.
As the same tired questions circled around him, Ethan absent-mindedly nodded along, not listening to a word the others spoke. His eyes roam above their heads, looking for something, anything, to excuse himself from the mundane conversation.
A room to the side of the convention center called out to him, the usher escorting people into one of the featured panels. Ethan muttered insincere platitudes under his breath as he walked away, sure that he could blend into the rest of the crowd while the presenters waxed nostalgically about their latest discoveries. But as he got closer to the double doors, his eye caught a poster containing the credentials and photos of each of the speakers. He shook his head at each one until he reached the end, stopping dead in his tracks as he stared at the name etched underneath the image.
Dr. Brynn Cooper. Doctor of Internal Medicine/Infectious Disease at New York-Presbyterian Hospital.
“Rookie?”
The small word escaped his lips without realization, too transfixed on the image in front of him. Staring down at the brilliant smile that still haunted him, Ethan scrutinized the image for changes since they last saw each other.
But there was nothing.
Even after all this time, the sight of her still took his breath away.
He walked inside swiftly, finding a spot in the back of the room. He knows from past experience that the spotlight would prevent her from seeing him in the darkened row, but he took no chances, unsure what her reaction would be to his presence.
Ethan silently watched as the moderator announced the guest speakers, his breath hitching in his throat when Brynn walked out on the stage. She smiled at the crowd, as effortlessly beautiful as the nights she spent with him. Ethan leaned back in his seat, his propped hand covering the smile that threatened the corner of his lips.
A hundred moments play out in his mind, from their first meeting, to late nights with them entangled in his sheets. As he watched Brynn and the other panelists launch into their discussion, it was easy to forget their painful past. In his attempt to move on, Ethan had forgotten how much he enjoyed her mind, watching her effortlessly lead the discussion despite the caliber of doctors in the room. There was no sign of the trepid intern he met all those years ago, replaced by a calm and confident practitioner. Ethan’s chest bloomed in pride.
The presentation ended far too quickly, the panel opening up the floor for questions. He watched as several young doctors form a line, wondering if now would be the right time to slip away.
“This question is for Doctor Cooper…”
Ethan paused, settling back in his seat, waiting for the bumbling participant to ask their incessant question. “What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?”
She smiled brightly, “Nothing good happens after two AM.”
The response earned a light chuckle from the audience. She shook her head, “But in terms of medicine….” A warm smile formed on her lips, “As a doctor….we always lose in the end. We’re constantly trying to delay the inevitable. But we can never give up the fight. We keep going until the very last breath.”
Ethan sucked in a sharp inhale, his own words calling back to him. Watching the brilliant woman in front of him, he was in disbelief at how many times he let her walk out of his life. How could he have been so naive? He was willing to fight for the hospital, fight for his patients, but when the woman he loved asked him to do the same for her….he failed her. He let her down, as he had so many times before.
The speaker cleared their throat, shuffling their feet. “This is another question for Dr. Cooper. Is it true that you were mentored by the Ethan Ramsey? Was he the one who gave you that advice?”
Ethan sat up at the mention of his name, watching Brynn as she took in the question. He half-expected a negative reaction, but she’s ever the professional, barely tensing at their words. She smiled brightly, “Yes, I was lucky enough to work with Dr. Ramsey through my residency. He….” For the briefest moment, Ethan could see her veneer start to slip, a flash of sadness etching her features. His hands gripped the back of the seat, desperately wanting to go to her, to soothe away the years of pain that he directly caused. However, as quickly as the moment came, it was gone, replaced by a genuine smile that he would recognize anywhere. “My time with Dr. Ramsey completely shaped the doctor I am today. I would not only say he was my mentor, but I would like to think of him as an old friend.” She jutted out her chin, motioning to the back of the auditorium. “But I believe he classified me as a pain in the ass. Isn’t that right, Dr. Ramsey?”
Every muscle in Ethan’s body tensed. The last thing he planned on was Brynn spotting him, unsure how she would react to his presence. But as her green eyes softly stared down at him, he was helpless to resist their pull. He climbed out of the aisle, passing the line of inquisitive doctors to stand in front of the microphone. He smirked back at Brynn, “I believe it was a colossal pain in the ass, Dr. Cooper.”
From only a few feet away, he could see the familiar twinkle in her eye, the way her lips curve in a knowing smile. For the first time in years, he didn’t feel the pangs of regret. Brynn rolled her eyes, tucking her lip between her teeth. “How could I forget,” she answered sardonically. “Do you have another question, Dr. Ramsey?”
“Yes,” he admits quickly, not ready for their time together to be over just yet. “Have a drink with me.”
“That’s not a question,” Brynn replies.
“I’m aware,” Ethan smirks back at her. “But I’d like your answer anyway.”
She leaned back in her chair, her lips pursing in thought. After a long, scrutinizing minute, she finally nodded, “I’d like that.”
****
The dim lights of the hotel bar do little to dull Ethan’s senses, completely transfixed by the sight across the booth from him. After the panel, once the shock of seeing Brynn wore off, Ethan realized why his partner was so insistent on his attendance at the conference. With one text, Tobias confirmed his suspicions, telling Ethan not to waste his shot.
He had no intention of that.
The time passed by quickly, both taking turns to fill in the other about the past two years. Watching Brynn tell stories of her new hospital, Ethan felt a comfort that he hadn’t experienced in years. While his heart knew that he missed Brynn, he never quite realized how much until this moment.
“Ethan?”
He shook his head, “My apologies, I missed your question.”
A familiar color filled her cheeks, as if she could tell exactly where his mind had wandered. “I was asking if you came alone to the conference.”
Ethan nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Tobias is in Washington. He insisted that I attend.” He scoffed slightly, “He wanted me to put myself back out there.”
“And are you?” Brynn asked, her face falling as soon as the words escaped. She shook her head, “I’m sorry. That was incredibly inappropriate-”
“No,” Ethan answered earnestly. “I haven’t.” A tense silence filled the booth, neither of them able to pull their focus away from the other. “And you? Are you alone?”
“In life or at the conference?”
“Both.”
“Subtle as ever, Ethan,” Brynn chuckled softly. “A few of my colleagues are here as well. As for the other part of your question….there was someone for a while.”
“I heard,” Ethan replied quietly, taking a sip of his drink.
Her brow furrowed in thought, studying him out of the corner of her eye, a sly smirk betraying his air of disinterest. She suddenly snapped her fingers, “Sienna.”
Ethan smiled in answer, not saying anything more. He cleared his throat, “And are you still…”
“No,” Brynn answered quickly, playing with the space on her ring finger. “Didn’t quite work out like I wanted.”
“Understood,” Ethan nodded his head. “If I may….why didn’t it?”
She laughed sardonically, “No real reason. It just was never quite….right.” She brought her glass of wine to her lips, taking a careful sip. “There isn’t always a good reason things don’t work out, Ethan.”
“I’m not sure I believe that.”
“You should more than anyone,” Brynn answered softly. As their gazes met, she cleared her throat, turning her phone over to check the time. “Shit, I didn’t realize how late it was. I should get going. I assume you’re not planning on going to the mixer later?” she asked with a slight smirk.
“Will you be there?” Ethan answered.
She gave him a careful look, “I was going to check it out for a little bit.”
“Then I’ll be there.”
*****
The mixer was worse than Ethan expected. His long-ignored tux bit at the edges of his neck, everything about the formal attire feeling wrong. He was never one to worry about his appearance, but as he waited for Brynn to arrive, he couldn’t help but check his reflection on the mirrored walls.
Where was she?
All of the other doctors from her hospital had made their appearance, yet Brynn was not among them. His eyes flicked to the entrance every time someone entered, trying not to let his disappointment show too heavily when it was not the person he was waiting for.
After an hour passed, Ethan had given up hope that she was coming. Done with the idle chit-chat and grandstanding, he prepared to head back to his room for a solitary bottle of scotch. Perhaps he had imagined the look in Brynn’s eyes when he said that he would come. Was this a game to her? Putting him through his least favorite type of torture to atone for his past mistakes? She seemed to hold no ill will when they spoke earlier, but something had to have happened if she decided not to come to the mixer.
“Dr. Ramsey?”
Ethan turned, recognizing the deep timbre of the voice. He met the eyes of another doctor, smiling when he recognized his former colleague. “Dr. Lahela.”
The surgeon let out a loud laugh, patting Ethan on the shoulder, “All this time, and still with the formalities. Is that really how you greet one of the boys?”
Ethan shuddered at the reminder of the hated nickname, “I’ll agree to a first-name basis, only if you never refer to us by that title again.”
“Deal.”
“I’m surprised to see you here, Bryce. I didn’t know many surgeons attended this conference.”
“Most don’t,” Bryce sighed. “Technically, I’m not here in a professional capacity. This is my vacation if you can believe it.”Ethan raised a brow. Bryce laughed, searching through the crowd until he spotted a red-headed woman on the other side of the room. “My wife is presenting with some of her buddies from Johns Hopkins, so I figured I’d tag along for moral support.”
“Wife?” Ethan asked incredulously. He heard rumors that Bryce had settled down, but he was unsure if it was just idle gossip. When they worked together, Bryce was solely focused on his career, never seemed interested in anything long-term. He and Ethan agreed wholeheartedly in that regard.
Bryce nodded, “Going on three months now.”
Ethan followed his line of sight, watching the soft smile that filled Bryce’s face as he watched his wife converse with her colleagues. “Congratulations. You seem very happy together.”
“Thanks, man,” he nudged Ethan with his elbow. “What about you? Any lucky ladies hanging around, waiting to start their night with the Dr. Ramsey?”
“Christ, I hope not.”
“Not even Brynn?” Bryce asked with a knowing smirk. He let out a sharp laugh when Ethan glared at him. “Yup, know all about it. We were supposed to grab dinner, but she blew me off to grab drinks with you. Seems like you guys had a good time.”
Ethan shook his head, “I thought so, too. But she mentioned she would be here tonight–”
“And you think that’s why she didn’t come?” Bryce said. “Hate to break it to you, Ramsey, but that’s not what happened. She’s upstairs with a nasty headache.”
Ethan’s brow furrowed, “Is she all right?”
“Yeah, she’ll be okay. It’s just been a lot for her today,” Bryce turned towards Ethan, his face turning uncharacteristically serious. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You already are.”
“True,” he chuckled. “You and Brynn…are gonna make another go of it?”
“That’s not your business, Lahela.”
“Also true. Here’s the thing though: Brynn and I’ve been super close since our intern year. We might’ve lost touch for a bit, but she’ll always be family. All those guys are. But Brynn…she’s one of the best doctors I know. When it comes to letting people in….she’s not the greatest. The girl can say she’s over you all she wants, but every time we talk, she makes sure to find out how you are. Ask me….there’s still something there.”
Ethan paused for a moment, trying to decipher the meaning of Bryce’s words. He cleared his throat, “Why are you telling me this?”
Bryce chuckled, looking across the room at his waiting wife. “For a long time, I told myself that my career was all that I needed. As long as I was the best, nothing else mattered. But from the minute that girl told me off for the first time, I’ve been happier than I could’ve imagined. You find someone like that….you don’t let them go. Especially if you’re lucky enough to get a second chance.”
Ethan cleared his throat, “Again, Lahela, why are you telling me this?”
Bryce clapped Ethan on the shoulder before starting to walk away, “You’re a smart guy, Ethan. Pretty sure you can figure this one out.” As he stepped towards his wife, now waving him over to join her, Bryce called out over his shoulder, “Room 513. In case you need a hint.”
*****
A few floors above the mixer, Brynn grabbed another bottle of water from the mini-fridge before crawling back to the bed. The sudden headache had knocked her on her ass almost as soon as she returned from her drinks with Ethan, but luckily the pain had subsided hours ago. She was tempted to text him to let him know why she missed the mixer, but his number had been deleted from her phone years ago, unwilling to risk a late-night moment of weakness.
Despite the late hour, Brynn was wide awake due to an extended nap, excitedly scrolling through her streaming options. Evenings away from the hospital were rare, ones when she didn’t have some kind of commitment, were near impossible. Tonight, she planned on taking full advantage of the quiet.
But as she pulled her hoodie over her head, a sudden knock came from the door. Brynn glanced down at her phone, frowning at the blank screen. Almost all of her colleagues would have texted before coming to her room, not close enough for late-night drop-ins. It could be Bryce and his wife. She felt bad about canceling on them earlier, but made arrangements to meet up tomorrow instead. But knowing Bryce, he was impatient enough for them to stop in for a late-night drink. Before heading to the door, she searched her suitcase, finding the tiny ‘I Love NY’ onesie she had picked up from the airport gift shop. It wasn’t much, but Brynn didn’t want to come empty-handed. Not after the dozens of sonograms photos Bryce added to the Edenbrook OGs group chat.
“Coming, coming,” she called, checking her appearance in the mirror before opening the door.
But nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Ethan Ramsey waiting on the other side. Her mouth hung open as she took in his dapper appearance, his tuxedo calling back some of their happier memories. She shook her head, “Ethan….what are you doing here?”
“I ran into Lahela,” he said. “He mentioned that you weren’t feeling well, so I brought you a few things.”
Holding out a small plastic bag with the hotel emblem, Brynn tilted her head before taking it into her hands. She looked inside, laughing when she saw the contents. “Iced tea and gummy bears?”
“Yes, I….I remembered how you used to hoard them in our team office. Although, as a doctor, I can’t believe you’d subject yourself to that level of sugar.”
But his words died on his lips as Brynn ripped open the bag, placing a couple of gummy bears into her mouth, “Because they’re delicious,” Brynn said as she chewed, holding out the bag. “Try some and tell me I’m wrong.”
“I’ll trust your judgment on this one, Rook– Brynn.” He cleared his throat “I should be going. I hope you are feeling better.”
“Wait,” Brynn said, taking a step further into her room, “Why don’t you stay for a bit? I’ve got literally a year's worth of shows ready to binge if you’re interested.”
While idly watching television was not one of Ethan’s preferred activities, he could not bring himself to pass up Brynn’s offer. He nodded, “I’d like that very much.”
*****
A few hours later, Brynn’s laptop kept playing the same show, but neither she nor Ethan paid much attention to what was occurring on the screen. Instead, they reminisced about their shared past, comparing their memories from their time on the Diagnostics team.
Ethan just sat back and watched while Brynn spoke so animatedly, trying to capture the moment in his memory. While her voice trailed off, his eyes glanced behind her, noticing the hotel curtains swaying in the late-night breeze. With their flutters, he could spot the quiet balcony, bringing back a different memory from their last trip to this city. That night a dam broke inside of Ethan, unable to hold back what he felt for Brynn any longer. He couldn't admit it then, but he had already started to fall for her, unable to resist the stubborn and headstrong doctor.
Ethan didn’t have many regrets in his life. They were useless things, nothing more than a form of self-torture. If he couldn’t change the course, unable to correct his past mistake, what was the point of dwelling on them?
However, when it came to Brynn, his regrets were endless.
He should have kissed her longer that night, not giving a damn what the rest of the world thought.
He should have told her before he left for the Amazon, never bringing up that damn reset when he returned.
He should have fought for her every day, keeping the broken promise he made in the dark.
Tonight, he refused to add any more regrets to that list.
He listened intently while Brynn told him about her unhappiness at her current hospital, missing patient care as her administration pushed her more towards research. She rubbed her hand over her face, “Honestly, I’ve been thinking about leaving for the past couple of months. But I don’t know….I’m not even sure where I would go, what I would do.”
Ethan couldn’t hold himself back any longer. “You could come work with me.”
Brynn stared at him for a long moment before letting out a bark of laughter, “C’mon, Ethan, be serious.”
“I am.”
“We tried that, remember?” she snorted, lifting herself from the couch to grab another bottle of water. “It didn’t work out so well for either of us.”
“This time you would be working with me, not for me,” Ethan continued. “You said yourself that you’ve grown tired of New York. Perhaps Boston is where you’ve always belonged.”
She shook her head, standing up to get some space between the two of them. “That’s not funny, Ethan.”
“Brynn, look at me,” he waited until she turned back towards him. “I am serious about this offer. Tobias and I have wanted to take on a third partner for quite some time. There’s no one else in the world that I’d rather have at our side.”
A pause. The silence of the room felt deafening as the two of them faced each other, unable to break their intense stare. Ethan started to say something more, but Brynn cut him off, holding her hand up in the air.
“No.”
Ethan let out a dry laugh, “That’s not the reaction I was expecting.”
“And how did you think this was going to go?” Brynn said. “That I would drop everything in my life just because you asked me to?” She started pacing the room, her hands clenching at her hips. Her voice dropped to a quiet whisper, staring at a space on the floor in front of him. “For years, I’ve waited for you to reach out. To show me that our time together meant something to you. Not even our personal relationship, but at least our professional one. Nothing. Not a single word. And now, you drop this….this bomb on me….” She turned her gaze up to the ceiling. “Where was this offer three years ago? You know damn well if you had asked me to stay, I would have.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Ethan said. “Your professional–”
“I swear to god, Ethan. If you say my professional growth was too important to jeopardize, I will literally scream.”
Ethan exhaled slowly, knowing that she was right to be angry. Even he hated the way the words felt on his tongue. He meant them at the time, but now they felt like flimsy excuses, another useless reason to keep himself guarded. He looked up, meeting the fiery glare Brynn leveled at him. “What would you like me to say, Brynn.” He stood to fully face her. “Would you like me to tell you that I made a mistake?”
“I just want the truth!” she exclaimed. “For once, I want you to be completely honest with me.”
“Fine,” Ethan said. “You want the truth?”
“First time for everything,” she scoffed.
“The truth is that I was so damn in love with you that I didn't know what to do with myself.” As her eyes widened in shock, Ethan continued, stepping closer towards her. “I was so fucking terrified that I was going to lose you that I convinced myself it was better to push you away first. That if I held you back, or selfishly asked you to stay, you would never forgive me. I’ve seen what happens when that feeling starts to fester, turning regret into resentment. My mother was tied to a life she never wanted and it destroyed my father when she left. Destroyed me. I couldn’t risk that, not with you. You deserved more than that.”
For the first time since he met her, Brynn was speechless, her mouth hanging open as she processed his words. Ethan continued, “I will forever regret letting you walk away. But not as much as I would have if I’d been the one to hold you back.”
“And now?” she quietly asked.
“Now…” Ethan sighed. “You’ve surpassed even my high expectations, Brynn.” He ran his hand over his face, “I didn’t offer you the job because of our history or to make up for my past mistakes. I am offering it to you because I truly believe you are the best, Brynn. It would be my honor to call you my partner.”
She started to respond, but snapped her lips instead, only nodding her head. “I’ll think about it.”
“Brynn…”
“That’s the best I can do right now, Ethan,” she said, stepping out of his reach. “But you…” she cleared her throat. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
Ethan thought about arguing, but knew it was useless. The harder he tried, the stronger Brynn would fight against him, pushing him away just because she could.
Space, he told himself, give her space.
He nodded his head, “I should be going.”
As he headed to the door, he could feel Brynn approach from behind him, trepidly placing her hand on his shoulder. He turned, meeting the soft gaze of her olive-green eyes. With a look of uncertainty, she lifted up on the tips of her toes, placing a soft kiss on the stubble of his cheeks.
But as she started to pull away, Ethan stopped her, resting his hand on the nape of her neck. As he searched her eyes for permission, he lowered his head towards hers, leaving the briefest hint of a kiss on her lips. Brynn softly inhaled, her eyes widening at the gesture. But after a moment, she pressed herself against him, crashing her lips back into his. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around her waist, not wanting to take a single second of their embrace for granted.
Ethan had forgotten what it felt like to kiss her, to have Brynn cradled against his chest. He was never one to believe in signs, but the way she fit so perfectly in his arms was almost enough to make him soften to the idea.
At the same moment, they both pulled away, sensing the line that they were unsure if they should cross. As much as it might kill him, Ethan would walk away if that was what Brynn wanted, content to have seen her one last time. If that was what she needed, he’d respect her wishes, having made too many decisions for the both of them in this lifetime.
But as he debated leaving, her green eyes stared back up at him. “Don’t go.”
Ethan paused for a moment, brushing a few strands of her hair away from her face. “What do you want, Brynn?”
As soon as the words left his lips, he brought them back to Brynn’s, lifting her up into his arms. With a few steps, he crossed the room, depositing Brynn at the edge of the bed. With a small yelp, she landed on the mattress, staring up at him through her lashes.
As they fumbled with their clothing, she broke their stare long enough to look around the room, letting out a burst of laughter. Ethan arched his brow in question as her hand rose to her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she chuckled. “I was just thinking about the last time we were in Miami together. How much I was hoping…how much I dying to sleep with you that night.”
Ethan’s hands lightly pressed on her shoulder, lowering her back against the comforter, “If that’s the case…we’re going to spend the rest of the night making up for lost time.”
******
The next morning, the warm Florida sun crept into the window, stirring Ethan from a sound sleep. He reached out across the mattress, searching for Brynn, needing to feel her soft skin to ensure that last night was real.
For so long, he had hidden away the memories of her, unwilling to let his mind linger too long in the past. He had forgotten how different things were with her, how well they connected on all levels, both intellectually and physically. Brynn’s touch was an addiction he thought he had broken, but with one night, it had returned in full force. He promised years ago that he would never take for granted the moments they shared.
But that promise was broken, destroyed by years of self-sabotage. He had made mistakes that contributed to their downfall. They both had. But Ethan was determined not to let his demons cost him the person he wanted most in this world.
He learned to live without Brynn once.
Ethan never wanted to do it again.
But when his hands reached the other side of the bed, all he was met with was a piece of paper resting on Brynn’s pillow. He cracked open his eyes, reading the familiar handwriting.
I’ll think about the offer…. -B.
Ethan stared at it for several minutes, rereading the simple message over and over again. After the fifth time, he crumpled up the paper, tossing it towards the wastebasket. Looking around the room, her suitcase was gone, all of her belongings packed up while he slept soundly only a few feet away. He tried to tell himself that perhaps it was a work situation. He was no stranger to calling conferences short due to an obligation to his patients. But as he stared at the space she occupied only hours earlier, he couldn’t help but feel like Brynn left to avoid him, to avoid risking any further hurt at each other’s hands.
How could he have read the situation so wrong? For a man that prided himself in being observant, he did not think he would be waking up alone. He was sure that she would give him a chance, that together they could right their wrongs. That he could prove to Brynn that he had grown past the guarded man she once knew.
He glanced down at his phone, debating if he should text Bryce for her number. But that felt unsavory, not wanting to let others in on their situation. Instead, he quickly dressed, saving one last look at the balcony as he walked towards the door.
“What are you doing to me?”
He could still picture the brilliant smile Brynn gave him as she leaned forward, whispering her words in his ear. “Hopefully, something good.”
Ethan shook his head, wishing away the painful past memories. As he opened the door, he knew he was ready to say goodbye to Miami and the ghosts of his past. He had made his intentions clear, it was now up to Brynn how she wanted the next steps to go. Ethan would respect her choice, even if it destroyed him all over again.
*****
Two Weeks Later
Ethan leaned back in his office chair, reading through the reports for his newest patient. They told him nothing, only eliminating a few of the usual suspects.
As much as it frustrated him, Ethan couldn’t deny that this was one of his favorite aspects of medicine. The hunt. The human body was like a puzzle that only he could solve, and he relished the journey. Especially if he was able to help someone when other doctors had given up.
As he started searching different medical journals on his computer, a brisk knock came on his door. Staring down at the clock, he grimaced at the late hour, sure it was Tobias inviting him to another trivia night at Donahue’s. While he had been more receptive to joining his former colleagues in the past weeks, he knew he would be unable to rest until he had a course of action to present to his patient.
“Come in,” he grumbled as he clicked on the top link, scanning for any indication of his patient’s symptoms. “Don’t start with me, Tobias. The results of Mrs. Murphy’s echo were normal, and I’m not leaving until I decide what to order next.”
“Have you checked out her thyroid?”
Ethan froze at the voice, his hand clenching tighter around the computer mouse. He slowly turned in his chair, facing the doorway. Brynn leaned against the frame, her arms crossed as she smiled back at him. “Just a guess,” she said. “But it might be helpful if you looked at her T-4 levels.”
Leaning back in his chair, Ethan let the shock fade, his face shifting into an easy smile. She was here. “And may I ask why that’s your recommendation, Dr. Cooper?”
She smiled, taking a step inside, “Your partner let me take a look at the file. I think you should rule out Hashimoto's before you start scheduling any further scans.”
“Sound suggestion,” Ethan nodded. A tense silence fell between them, Brynn shifting on her feet. He cleared his throat, “What do I owe the visit?”
“Rumor has it…you might have a job opening,” she said, settling into the chair across from him. “I’ve recently decided to leave my position at New York-Presbyterian and I’m looking for something new. From what I’ve heard about this place, it’s one of the best clinics for patient care in Boston.”
Ethan sat back, trying not to get ahead of himself. “It’s true that we’ve been looking to expand our practice. But we would like our partner to be someone who can commit for the foreseeable future.” He swallowed heavily, forcing himself to meet her gaze. Based on her expression, he could tell that she knew he was referring to much more than the clinic. “How long are you planning on staying in Boston, Dr. Cooper?”
She smiled back at him, her eyes clear and determined, “Indefinitely.”
I have read this so many times already and I just cannot cope
First off, you write Tobias and Ethan’s relationship so fucking perfectly! You just get it. And I’m so obsessed with your HC of them ending up working together. I think it’s perfect, because at the end of the day, differences in their approach to the job aside, they both recognise how excellent a doctor the other is.
“True,” Tobias said. “My idea of an exciting Friday night does not include watching reruns of Nigella episodes.”
THE LAUGH THAT JUST CAME OUT OF ME 😂😂😂 I fucking howled, Kat. Look, Ethan loves them big titties, okay!? If he learns how to make some delicious food at the same time, who’s he hurting 😤
The way I’m such a simp for Ethan that even the mention of him taking off his glasses has me soft
Tobias glanced at his partner, painfully aware that it had been years since Ethan’s sole mission wasn’t the clinic.
I know this is all Ethan’s fault, and if he wasn’t a class A cunt he could be living a very different life - but this still made me so sad for him 😭 like get a life baby boy 😭😂
His last excursion to Miami felt like a different lifetime, the city’s skyline still eliciting memories of hurried kisses and tempting touches.
Djdjsksksksksm he’s going back to where it all began! Ethan/MC going back to Miami will always get me 😍
He grimaced at the thought, trying to ignore the strains on his heartstrings as he thought of Brynn. Her face still passed through his mind most days.
Not me gagging at the thought of Ethan having other women in his bed. I know he didn’t fuck her like he fucked my girl Brynn 😤 they ain’t got that world class punani 😤
Despite being perfectly clear with his intentions, they all ended the same way: a pissed-off former partner and Ethan alone again, his walls more impenetrable than the best bank vaults in the world.
You do it every damn time 👏🏼 masterful
An aching heart and an empty office that he could still not bear to fill.
KAT! POETRY!
One last moment of nostalgia before saying goodbye to his ghosts for good.
I’m sorry for how annoying I am but every time you write something that has me in awe I am going to quote it back to you ok it’s the law love you bye
“Christ.”
Why is this so hot? Ethan saying Christ just does things to me. I am seriously just an array of holes for him
Dr. Brynn Cooper. Doctor of Internal Medicine/Infectious Disease at New York-Presbyterian Hospital.
DJDJDJSKSKSKSK I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT FKFJJDJSKS I WISH YOU COULD SEE THE SMILE ON MY FACE RIGHT NOW
“Rookie?”
Kat 😭😭😭 he says it without even realising and she’s not even there 😭😭😭
Even after all this time, the sight of her still took his breath away.
Can you write Ethan and Teddy for me please and thank you
Ethan leaned back in his seat, his propped hand covering the smile that threatened the corner of his lips.
“But in terms of medicine….” A warm smile formed on her lips, “As a doctor….we always lose in the end. We’re constantly trying to delay the inevitable. But we can never give up the fight. We keep going until the very last breath.”
SHE’S QUOTING HIS WORDS BACK! 😭 ETHAN SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING TOO BABY
He was willing to fight for the hospital, fight for his patients, but when the woman he loved asked him to do the same for her….he failed her.
“But I believe he classified me as a pain in the ass. Isn’t that right, Dr. Ramsey?”
Dmdjdjdkskdkfk juddidknfdjoslsksbfidosksksks
The rest of this reblog is coming to you live from my grave you have killed me
SHE KNEW HE WAS THERE AND I AM MELTING! And not only that, he hit her with the colossal 😩😩😩 I cannot cope
“I’m aware,” Ethan smirks back at her. “But I’d like your answer anyway.”
With one text, Tobias confirmed his suspicions, telling Ethan not to waste his shot.
THAT IS MY FUCKING MAN! Wingman of dreams 😍
“No,” Brynn answered quickly, playing with the space on her ring finger. “Didn’t quite work out like I wanted.”
That dick couldn’t compare baby 😌
“Then I’ll be there.”
The surgeon let out a loud laugh, patting Ethan on the shoulder, “All this time, and still with the formalities. Is that really how you greet one of the boys?”
I love him. So fucking much 😍😂
Bryce is married fkfjdkskksksksks my baby!
“You already are.”
Lol this is so Ethan.
Bryce was exactly who Ethan needed to meet at that moment in time! He’s proof that you can have it all 😍
He remembered her favourite snack 😭 no one talk to me 😭
Tonight, he refused to add any more regrets to that list.
Yes! 😍 do not fuck this up, my man
“I swear to god, Ethan. If you say my professional growth was too important to jeopardize, I will literally scream.”
GO OFF SIS! I swear if he said that once more I’d beat the words right out of him
PLEASE CAN YOU WRITE THE SMUT? YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, COUPLES COMING BACK TOGETHER YEARS LATER AND HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN IS MY FAVOURITE THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TO READ CKFNDNDKSKKSKFNFJFJD
KAT! THE ENDING! I WANTED TO QUOTE THE ENTIRE THING BACK TO YOU!
She smiled back at him, her eyes clear and determined, “Indefinitely.”
This was so perfect and is officially my favourite thing you’ve ever written 😍😍😍 please can I request some more Ethan and Brynn now they’re back together? Or even past them? I just need anything I can get, ok! Also some smut, tysm 😌
