DON'T GO TO TROY

just my favorite quotes, moments or whatever | in order (currently on chapter 4)

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“You were brilliant today,” James breathes, he doesn’t know why, he just suddenly feels the need to tell him. Needs him to know.

“Yeah?” Regulus asks softly.

“That feint? It was beautiful Reg, I mean it. I—God, watching you I just—how did I never notice before? How did I never notice what a fucking star you are?”

Regulus snorts. “Literally.”

“Yeah,” James says without the sarcasm. “Yeah, but you are though.”

Something shifts in Regulus’s expression that James doesn’t understand. They’re still so close, he can practically feel his breath.

“Guess you weren’t looking,” Regulus says eventually.

It takes a moment for James to realize what he’s saying. “Maybe,” he answers finally, “but I’m looking now.”

In retrospect, he should have seen it coming. He didn’t. But he should have.

The first thought he has when Regulus pushes forward, pressing their mouthes together, half crawling into James’s lap, is that he’s so warm. His mouth. His hands. For a boy who walks around like he’s made of stone Regulus touches like the sun.

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“Don’t make me get your father young man!”

Mary raises her brow as Peter mumbles a myriad of curses behind them. “You’re not the father?”

“Pfft,” James says. “Obviously not, Sirius is the father, clearly. Never gives you his a approval, emotionally distant, can’t be relied on—”

“Twat,” Sirius laughs, punching him in the arm before turning to Mary. “He’s right though, I am clearly the father.”

Remus makes an exasperated noise. “The amount of bollocks you two talk is truly astounding.”

James grins, opening his mouth to speak before Mary beats him to it.

“I’d have thought Remus would be the mother.”

Remus groans, “Please don’t encourage them, they’re insufferable enough as it is.”

“See,” she says, gesturing to the unimpressed blond.

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“I’m not scared,” he repeats. “I’m smart. There’s a difference.”

“If you say so,” James knocks his foot again, this time staying there, pressed to Regulus’s ankle.

“But my point was that if you did happen to be scared,” James holds up his hand the minute he sees Regulus open his mouth, “which you aren’t, obviously. But if you were, you should know that you’d have a distinct advantage going in there with me.”

Regulus snorts. “And why’s that?”

“Because,” James grins. “Gryffindors are contractually obligated to sacrifice themselves. So you’ll have a decent head start while whatever terrible monster we run into feasts on my flesh.”

There’s a beat of silence before Regulus drops his face into his knees, shoulders shaking with laughter.

Making Regulus laugh is new. Good new. Really good new. It feels like scoring a goal in a quidditch match. Like scoring the winning goal.

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Regulus gives him a piteous once over, “You’re such a child.”

“Oi!” James says indignantly. “I’m older than you.”

“Yes, pathetic isn’t it?” but there’s the sliver of a smile somewhere in his mouth that takes the edge off. James likes it.

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“Prewett—“

“Just call me Alice, Frank. Honestly, we’ve been dating for two years.”

“Not on the pitch Prewett.”

Alice arches her brow. “Oh really? If memory serves, we were dating on the pitch last Friday night.”

Sirius snorts, earning him a pointed glare from a very red faced Frank.

“Right. Fine. Pre—Alice.”

She smiles brightly at him.

“Your defence is weak, you and Abbott are leaving the centre wide open. Stop making the first move, you gotta play hard to get with your chasers. And communicate with each other.”

“Aye aye captain, no more fucking the chasers on the first date.”

Frank looks in danger of exploding.

“God,” Sirius sighs beside him. “I think I’m in love.”

“She’s taken Black,” Frank shoots at him, running a hand over his very flustered face. “So don’t even think about it.”

Alice winks at Sirius across the circle causing him to fake swoon into James’s arms.

(...)

“McKinnon, Black, that was a good practice, but Sirius—“

“Oh he gets a first name,” Alice says mockingly.

“Yeah well, you should have seen the things we did on the pitch last Friday,” Sirius waggles his eyebrows suggestively and Alice looks like someone’s just told her it’s Christmas morning.

“Enough,” Frank says quickly, holding his hands out like he can shove the innuendos back down their throats. The pair of them are far too pleased with themselves. “Black,” Frank says through clenched teeth, “don’t drop your club, I want you in a prepared position at all times, understood?”

“Got it captain, no more fucking the chasers on the first date”

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James feels like he knows what muggles mean when they say the word “magic.” They don’t mean spells or wands or cauldrons—well, okay, yes, sometimes they do. But in those moments when the word slips out of them, all quiet and reverent, like they can’t help it, that’s something different. James knows that, because it’s how he feels when he’s flying.

Magic.

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It makes sense, James thinks pityingly as he watches his friend turn back to his breakfast, unsure of how he didn’t see it before. Of course Remus was angry.

He fancies Mary.

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“It’s called laughter, you should try it sometime.”

Regulus glares. “That was not a laugh, that was a fucking banshee cry.”

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“Sometimes I just wish,” Remus goes on, closing his eyes as he breathes out, “that I was someone else. Anyone else. Anything has to be better than this. Than me.”

James’s insides twist, wrecked by the pain in Remus’s voice. It takes him a while to get himself under control enough to speak. “I know this is going to make me sound like a selfish dick,” Remus laughs at that, eyes still closed. “But personally, I’m so fucking glad you’re you.”

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It’s another few minutes before Remus actually manages to lift his eyes off the floor, looking directly at Sirius. “I don’t need you to protect me.”

Sirius blinks. “What?”

“That’s what I was trying to say—before. That I mean it. I’m not some…invalid,” the last word comes out sharp. “I can handle myself.”

A series of emotions flicker across Sirius’s face so quickly that James can’t catch any of them.

“I know that,” he says finally.

“Do you?” the words barely make it passed Remus’s teeth.

Peter, who had been lying facedown on his bed, sits up at that, sending James a worried look across the room. This is not going anywhere good.

“Yeah,” Sirius says, starting to sound irritated now. “Of course I do. But just because you can handle it, doesn’t mean you should have to.”

“Sirius,” Remus sounds tired, passing a hand over his face. “I—appreciate that. But I don’t need a bloody bodyguard.”

(...)

the last thing anyone needs is Remus and Sirius going at each other. It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does it’s bloody vicious.

“I need you to have some faith in me Sirius, alright?” Remus’s voice has softened a little, the pair of them staring at one another so intensely James feels like maybe he should leave the room.

“Moony,” Sirius says finally. “I’ll build you a bloody church if that’s what you want.”

James snorts, earning him a pointed stare from Remus. “Don’t encourage him,” but he’s clearly fighting off a smile.

“Since when does Sirius need encouragement to be an idiot?”

“Oi!” Sirius shouts indignantly, causing Remus to roll his eyes.

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“Listen, Moons,” he starts again, tone more serious, “me and Sirius, we’re similar, at least in the obvious ways—the ways that everyone can spot. More than you and me or me and Pete, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less, yeah?”

Remus blinks at him, a look on his face that James can’t quite read. “James,” he says slowly, “are you proposing?”

James snorts, earning him an aggressive “sh” from the Ravenclaw at the next table. “Why?” he arches his brow suggestively, “would you say yes?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Ah,” he clutches his chest. “Remus, you wound me.”

(...)

“Hey James,” Remus says after a few moments have passed.

His eyes flick up briefly but Remus’s are still on the parchment in front of him.

“I love you too, just so you know.” The words are quiet and fast and all squished together and it’s so very charming and so very Moony that James’s grin is almost too big for his face.

“I’m thinking July.”

Remus looks up. “July?”

“For the wedding.”

James cackles, ducking under the table as a quill is launched at his head.

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“Hello boys!” Sirius grins as he throws open the compartment door with a bang, nearly causing Remus to fall off his seat.

“You can never just walk into a room can you?” he grumbles, righting himself. “Always got to announce yourself like the bloody queen.”

“Ah, but Moony,” he coos as he drops into the seat next to him. “I am the queen.”

James watches Remus struggle to keep a straight face. “Are you now?”

Sirius nods gravely. “I can tell you don’t believe me, but answer me this—have you ever seen us both in the same place at the same time?”

That’s enough to have James roaring again, and Peter snorts so hard he nearly chokes.

“You’re a menace you know that?” Remus shoots at Sirius before returning to his book, unable to keep the fondness out of his voice.

“It’s all for you, my love.”

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It doesn’t take them long to find them. It never does, even without the map. James has always felt there was an almost electric pull between the four of them. Sometimes he swears he can feel them tugging at him, like strings wrapped around his ribs. He could find them anywhere.

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James never pushes Sirius for more. He watches the adults around them take from Sirius without even realizing it, even his mum and dad, so focused on the bigger picture. The politics. The war. They never notice how their questions strip him bare. How little is holding Sirius together.

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Sirius would flirt with a lamppost if he was bored enough. Or scared. Sirius wraps charm around himself like armour.

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People make mistakes. Most of the time, James thinks, you should forgive them. If they’re sorry. If they mean it. He himself has made some questionable decisions in his life. Some missteps. Everyone is just trying their best.

People make mistakes.

But they also make choices. It’s important to him, that difference. He does his best not to confuse the two.