[chooseyourselfordie]

If you don't like it, don't look 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[chooseyourselfordie]

STAY AWAY FROM THE DAMN SCOPRIO VENUSSSSS.

I say as they drag me away from the villa that is full of them 😭😭

[fairycosmos]

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Time passing isn’t an apology. (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[chooseyourselfordie]

[chooseyourselfordie]

Would have definitely appreciated this song.

[chooseyourselfordie]

Also R.I.P rue rue 2019-2024.

A character whose depression, struggle with self sabotage and yearning to just be happy, geniually happy was something I saw in myself. Yeah the drugs were a huge point of the show but from the young age of 19 to years later at 25 I can also understand that it was also a show about a young black girl scrambling to hold on, to survive the world she felt like she was drowning in and numb the feelings that came with it. Self sabotaging the good things beacuse all you have known is that chaotic feeling. So badly you wish to be happy but you don't give yourself permission to accept and choose that for yourself. She was so close, hell she wasn't even addicted to drugs anymore (California sober) by the end of season 2.

Rue deserved a better ending and I choose think of season 2 as her real happy ending. I understand her and was truly hurt about the way they did their character in the last season.

Lol she is my pfp for this page for a reason.

[chooseyourselfordie]

At the end of the day I don't have to live with the decision they have made in their self sabotaging ways, I have to live with mine. I can't truly hate people whose biggest battle will always be themselves. and the people who have treated me like they have never cared about me , act so beacuse they don't truly love themselves and can't understand nor accept others loving them.

We accept the love we think we deserve is a statement I have watched bloom in myself and others around me.

[lilmamabeyellin]

[chooseyourselfordie]

3am

I'm . .

tired of wanting to be understood by you. I'm tired of hoping that within your growth, you will see how much you have hurt me. I'm tired of expecting you to care beyond what you have shown me. It hurts. It always will, but I don't want to sit in it anymore. I don't want to continue allowing you to hold space in my heart and head when I'm never a thought in yours. I'm tired of trying to forgive a person who never changed, and I'm tired of chasing after a dead connection. Sometimes I feel nothing for you and sometimes I feel everything. I don't want you, I just wanted your honesty. But all the times you showed me how you wanted to be in my life, you were being honest... I just never believed you. Because I would never treat you so vile and hurt you in those ways. I would never purposely aim at your heart.

Honesty, you terrify me now. You have never been genuine with me, but I can't spend the rest of my life mourning a dead connection and the sacrifices and choices I made. What's meant for me will always stay. What's not will always leave. You were a stepping stone and hard realizations. My true healthy relationship will come in the form of something beautiful, peaceful, and adds to the happiness that I am building and have. I want to feel and be loved in a way that I never have before. But I know I deserve

[chooseyourselfordie]

Saw summer walker today with a friend.

Everything falls into place eventually.

[chooseyourselfordie]

Idk man. It's like on one hand I see something different but on the other hand I'm not a fool or have rose colored glasses on....and I still have issues within the past. I'm just going to enjoy whatever adventure this is for what it is in the moments. I'm going to communicate what I understand and what I feel and pull fully back if I feel like shit is slipping to old traumatic ways. I have to always keep myself in mind beacuse I don't know if he ever will and I can't always assume that he will either. This can be fun for me as long as I keep myself in reality and be honest with myself.

[chooseyourselfordie]

And everything came tumbling down

[chooseyourselfordie]

It's almost like he's embarrassed to tell other people he likes me or liked me. He acts like it's a fucking sin to complement me to other people or talk kind enough about me to others. Why tf is my name in your mouth if your just talking shit about me??? Wtf have I ever done to you to ever warrant such disrespect and unnecessary unkindess. Be my authentic self? Tried to love you? The things that run through my mind now at night...I'm going to need him to understand karma is going to fuck all his shit up.

[chooseyourselfordie]

Lol...3 years ago.

[chooseyourselfordie]

Something amazing happens when you stop giving any credit to people who don't know you. When you stop over analyzing the people who never gave a fuck in the first place. You realized you never cared either. It was just performative, freeing yourself from the shackles of letting others define a worth they were never meant to understand. The right people get it, and the ones who don't make room for the ones who will.

You just had to tune out the noise. You had to listen to the part of yourself you kept killing to make others feel better. To make them feel more sane. Instincts never led you astray, but you had to learn how to trust yourself more. Trusting yourself allows you to trust other people. Never doubt the source. Just trust it

[chooseyourselfordie]

Love requires you to change

[chooseyourselfordie]

[sunsetquotes]

I need to stop fantasizing about running away to some other life and start figuring out the one I have.

Holly Black; The Darkest Part of the Forest

[chooseyourselfordie]