Content Warnings: Prison mention, pregnancy discussion, implied smexy, angst.
Summary: You and Spencer vow to not have kids until you’re out of the FBI, but after a case of looking after a kid with his wife, things change.
Spencer had just spent the last case with you, holding watch at the victim’s family's house for hours on end. He watched his wife play tea-party, dress up, and Just Dance with the family’s seven year old girl while her mother was stuck in the station and honestly, he just fell deeper for you.
You settled into bed your first night back home, pulling the warm covers up to your chin and snuggling into Spencer’s chest. Everything should be perfect except he for some reason laid awake, staring at the ceiling as he ran his fingers through your hair. You picked up on Spencer’s irritation as he didn’t reach for a book to distract himself, just glued his eyes to the ceiling.
“What’s wrong, baby?” You asked, propping yourself up on Spencer’s chest so that you could look at him.
“Nothing,” Spencer hesitated. “I’m going to bed.” He suggested, gesturing his hand around to you and him resting in bed together, lights off.
Your heart stung a little at his random passive-aggressiveness. “Okay.” You mumbled, sinking back down into his chest. The two of you sat in the haunting quiet until finally he groaned as he pushed his hair back.
“Fuck.” He mumbled. You listened as his heart sped up beneath you, thumping against yours. “I’m- I’m just confused.”
You sat up beside him at this, flicking on a dim lamp sitting on your bedside table. “What’s confusing you, Spence? We can talk it through.” You offered, biting at your nails slightly. Spencer never got like this and whenever he did, it was usually mom-related.
“I just- just- I know when we got married we agreed on something-” Spencer started.
You finished his sentence like verbatim from your memory, “No kids unless we stop working for the FBI.”
“Yeah,” Spencer looked down as he took your hand in his, squeezing it nervously. “Well I just thought I’d be able to do that, but watching you play with that girl and bake with her and doing all of it with you it’s just- well it’s just a lot harder than I thought.” Your husband deflated further, frowning as he twisted your wedding ring around your finger.
“I know.” You whispered softly, stopping his finger over your ring then looking up at Spencer. “I know. But it’s selfish, isn’t it? I mean- for us to bring someone into the world we live in. And after prison, oh my god, Spencer-” You never said Spencer, only Spence or baby or some pet name. But you were scared half to death at how badly you wanted this and of going against your better instinct.
“Y/n,” Spencer swiped his thumb over a tear that had fallen down your cheek, unknown to you. “I won’t put myself on the front lines anymore, I’ll let someone else be the bigger person, I’ll never touch dilaudid again and-”
“I’m not worried about you being in the front lines, doing our job how we’re supposed to. I’m worried about another accident, one of us not coming home one day.” You cried, thinking about how not fun growing up without your dad was.
Spencer didn’t say a thing at that, he just let you hit home, wrapping you in his arms and cradling you in his lap. He sat with you until you stopped crying and your breathing regulated. “I’ll take the part-time job.” He finally decided, shocking you.
“What are you talking about?” You sat up, brows furrowed.
“They offered me a part-time job after prison. Half-time professing in Virginia, half-time working cases.” Spencer explained, running his fingers through your soft hair before leaning in close to you. “I want a family with you a lot more than I want this job. And I don’t want either of us breaking a vow just so we can get our cake and eat it too.”
You nodded, holding your face in your hands before gathering yourself. “I want to leave the BAU.” You ripped the band-aid off and let the conversation flow. You told Spencer you were unhappy with all the killing and death. You told him how you felt about everything, leaving him completely shocked that he didn’t see through you.
“I didn’t know that at all.” He whispered, looking down. You grasped his hand again.
“Because I didn’t want you to yet. And you know what? Having a kid gives me a perfect excuse to grab a job at a bookstore, take it easy for a minute, get a therapist maybe. Make room for a baby Reid.” You smiled softly, Spencer breaking out in a smile too at the thought of a baby Reid, of his own child with you. You made that life sound so good.
“Are you sure?” He looked up at you finally, quivering with something between nerves and excitement. Spencer leaned in to hold your face, waiting for an answer.
“More than anything.” You whispered, placing a kiss on his nose before Spencer pulled you onto his lap, you giggling. “Ah!”
“Let’s get a head start then, shall we?” Spencer asked, cupping your blushing cheeks. He still flattered you daily, even after all this time.
“I think we should.” You whispered into his lips, connecting softly and allowing him to take over, kissing you all over as you smiled widely. You wanted to start the next chapter of your lives as soon as possible.
