The Voyaging Soul

everything is so much happier in my head

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Umbreon and Espeon

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❤️🎈🌹‼️❌📍🚨🚗❓🔴⛽️🍎🐞🚘☎️♦️🎸🍅🆘🔻🦞📕🟥🖍️🎒🅾️🩸❤️‍🩹

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clocked out like a corporate warrior with 3 HP left, immediately teleported to The Matcha Tokyo at MOA for a “quick coffee” (lies) ☕💚 now i’m ₱200 poorer, emotionally stabilized, and convinced caffeine is a valid coping mechanism

productivity tomorrow. maybe.

[chrispuhsalow]

so my friend got married.

like married married. vows. rings. “forever.”

and i’m fine.

by fine i mean i’ve decided to date myself with the intensity i once reserved for memorizing their coffee order and pretending i didn’t get butterflies when they said my name a little softer than usual.

because what do you mean we were “just friends” and now you’re legally bound to someone who is not me????? fascinating. groundbreaking. cinematic betrayal.

anyway.

i took myself out on a date. opened my own door. whispered “you look insane (complimentary)” to my reflection. i’m texting myself good morning. i’m liking my own stories. i’m the loml now. i have no competition. i can’t friendzone me. i can’t marry someone else. unless i develop multiple personalities, which at this point feels on brand.

they’re posting wedding photos. i’m posting movie title screens and soft-launching my villain arc. they found their forever. i found self-respect and slightly concerning emotional independence.

did i imagine a whole life with them after one late-night conversation? yes.

am i now aggressively in love with myself out of spite? also yes.

if loving him in silence was unhinged, loving myself loudly is absolutely feral.

table for one. heart for one. delusion retired. era reset.

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Windows down ,feelings up.

we’re chasing sunsets like it’s innocent, like the highway doesn’t know I memorized the way your hand rests on the gear shift.

it’s just a road trip, they’d say,

just two friends.

just music too loud and laughter too soft.

but every mile feels illegal.

every shared glance at a red light feels like a confession I’ll never say out loud.

you talk about your spouse like a safe harbor and i nod like i’m not drowning, the sky turns gold and for one reckless second, it looks like the universe is blessing something it shouldn’t.

i sit in the passenger seat of your life, pretending i don’t want to drive.

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Early summer getaway…

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I loved you in a way that never asked to be chosen, only understood.

I stayed quiet when loving you became inappropriate, when your future started introducing itself without me in it. I watched from a distance as your life aligned perfectly with someone else, and I learned how to smile without letting anyone see the fracture in my chest.

You got married, and the world kept moving like nothing ended. But something did. Something soft. Something hopeful. Something that believed timing would eventually be kind to us.

I don’t hate you. That’s the cruel part. I wish you happiness with a sincerity that hurts more than anger ever could. I hope they hold your hand in all the ways I imagined doing. I hope your laughter feels safe with them. I hope love is easy for you—because loving you never was for me.

There was no dramatic goodbye. No last conversation to romanticize. Just a quiet realization that the person I loved now belongs to a life I’m not allowed to touch.

So I grieve silently. Not for what we were, but for what we almost became. For the version of me that thought love was enough. For the future I had to bury without a ceremony.

You chose forever.

I learned how to let go without being chosen.

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Haaaay kung pwede lng aminin, Basta kasama kita masaya na ako.

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Dito na lng ako magkekwento, wala ako mapagsabihan

Naglambing ako sa friend ko kagabi if kung pwede niya ba ako masundo sa work sa kadahilanang Ang dami kong dala na gamit at mga regalo. Nag okay nman siya , sobrang saya ko dahil makakasama ko siya ng kame lng dalawa. Matagal na akong may nararamdaman para sa kanya , pero ndi ko masabi dahil alam Kong may GF siya and auko masira ng friendship.

Habang nasa byahe hilig nmin makinig ng mga horror stories sa YouTube , duwag siya pero Ndi na daw niya mapigilan makinig ,naimpluwensyahan ko na siya sa favorite channels ko si Sir Xeth at Kadiliman Stories .,kakatawa ko sa mga kwento bigla ako nakaramdam ang gutom Kaya niyaya ko siya mag dinner , sakto Ndi pa din siya kumain ng dinner. May pinuntahan kameng restaurant sa imus , maganda and masarap ang food and Ndi sila masyado ma tao kapag weekdays , habang waiting sa food todo asikaso siya kumuha ng baso, tissue , spoon and fork nahiya pa nga sa kanya yung waiter dahil wala na siya gagawin . Nang ma serve Ang food tuwang tuwa siya dahil Ang sarap daw , sabi ko na lng Baka sobrang gutom kame Kaya sobrang sarap sa panlasa nmin ng mga pagkain , may pag pikit pa siya kapag kakagat sa chicken , Tawang tawa nanaman ako sa mga reaction niya. Bigla niya ko tinitigan tapos nag thank you .napangiti na lng ako.Nang matapos kame kumain at inakbayan niya ko habang naglalakad pabalik sa parking ., inakbayan niya ko at todo pasalamat sobrang busog daw siya , Grabe yung kuryente naramdaman ko dahil sa pag akbay niya, dun ko napansin na may bago sa kamay nya , ndi ako sigurado kung engagement ring ba yun? Bakit ndi niya na kwento sa akin. Ndi ko rin magawa tanungin

Tahimik na lng ako sa byahe, pero nag rereact pa din ako konti para ndi niya mapansin na nag ooverthink nanaman ako , hanggang sa makarating kame sa bahay at tanawin ko sasakyan niya palayo

Nakatulog na lng ako nag gagawa ng mga scenario sa isip ko

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[9inetails-blog1]

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I watch Sailor Moon because of these two

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sometimes i still shoot on film. not because it’s “aesthetic,” not because it’s vintage or trendy, but because it makes me slow down. there’s something grounding about only having 36 chances — no previews, no do-overs, no instant gratification. just the quiet click of the shutter and a small prayer that the light hit right.

i like the waiting part too — that strange mix of excitement and surrender when you don’t know if the shot even worked. maybe it’s blurry. maybe it’s perfect. maybe it doesn’t matter.

in a world obsessed with filters, megapixels, and endless retakes, film feels like rebellion. a reminder that imperfection has texture, that moments are meant to be lived, not curated.

maybe that’s why i keep doing it because some memories deserve to stay a little bit out of focus.

[chrispuhsalow]

Quezon City , Philippines