memento mori

christian torres | 24 | first year Who’s that trying to speak for me? What is it that they claim to be?

[christiantcrres]

⌠ TAYLOR ZAKHAR PEREZ, 23, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, CHRISTIAN TORRES! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT + DRIVER’S ED ; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a slight haze of smoke surrounding him; watching silently from afar, observance hidden in dulled gazes; a dismissive shrug of his shoulders; setting 5+ alarms and ignoring them all). when it’s the (sagittarius)’s birthday on 12/19/1996, they always request their ENCHILADAS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

@gallagherintro​

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Abandonment, murder (kinda) and mention of death

Name: Christian Marco Torres

Age: 23

Birthday: December 19th

Parents: Ricardo and Francisca Torres

Siblings: Raúl Torres

Zodiac: Sagittarius sun, Sagittarius rising, Aries moon

Sexual orientation: bisexual

Height: 6′1″

Tattoos: He has nine tattoos (Pinterest board here): A feather on the side of his right wrist, date in roman numerals on his upper chest signifying the date his parents cut ties with him, mountain image on his upper chest, compass on his right forearm, arrow on his left forearm, the word temporary on the center of his chest, a heart beat/mountain mix right below the date, the words memento mori above his left elbow, a raven on his upper left arm.

Background

Everyone knows the Torres family. One of the prominent, big, and legacy spy families out there. Mexican-Americans Ricardo Torres and Francisca Castillo were married young, but their careers were always a priority. The relation between Sergio Torres (Vida’s father) and Ricardo Torres? Brothers!

Christian and Raúl Torres were born in Houston, Texas and from a young age, their parents had drilled the importance of what they do into their two boys’ heads. Of course they had expected Christian and Raúl to follow in their footsteps, continue on the Torres legacy and make them proud.

Ricardo and Francisca were harsh and strict on their boys, setting tight training schedules and plans and expecting them to follow. This caused some sort of rift between Sergio and Ricardo given Sergio’s disapproval of how harsh Ricardo and his wife were on their boys. However, Christian and Vida had known each other growing up, but the cousins weren’t given the chance to properly get close.

Both boys abided by their parents schedules; however, Raúl was practically born for this world, but Christian hated it ever since his parents explained to him what it is they do. He just knew he didn’t fit in. Yet, he sucked it up and abided by everything their parents had set for them, because this was his life and he accepted it.

However, this difference between the brothers never got to them, they were always tight. Raúl always covered for him for him and always helped his brother. Even when Christian started taking an interest in cars and racing and had started sneaking out, Raúl would cover for him. Practically nothing got in the way of these brothers.

Then, spy prep happened. While Christian did well in his courses, his hatred for this world didn’t subside and it only got worse as the school years went by and his patience grew thin.

He graduated and decided he’s had enough. Decided to tell his parents he’s quitting spy life. Unfortunately, Christian expected his parents’ reaction: they were disappointed and enraged and a huge fight had ensued, even with Raúl’s interference, trying to mediate. A huge rift had occurred that day between Christian and his parents and it ended with his parents cutting ties and Christian packing his bags and leaving for a few years. However, his relationship with his brother was not ruined, and they had kept in touch during the time he was away.

This had made things worse between Sergio and Ricardo, ruining the brothers’ relationship fully. And given Sergio’s loving nature, he had made sure that Christian was alive and well during the time he was gone, without pressuring him to come back.

WARNING: ACCESSING TOP SECRET INFORMATION...

During the time on the road, Christian had traveled through states and eventually out of the USA and to Europe. During his whole time, to make money, he had participated in street races with groups of racers that had agreed to have him join their group wherever he was.

Christian was having the time of his life. No pressures, no responsibilities, traveling around and most importantly racing. But the fact that his parents had abandoned him just like that would forever be engraved in his heart, to the point he had gotten a tattoo of the date they had cut ties with him. A reminder.

Things changed drastically once again for the Torres in London, a few months after his 23rd birthday. He had won a race against a prominent racer gang leader, and had cost him so much money that the leader had immediately threatened Christian to end his life. Escaping was not a solution, because the gang leader would keep eye on him and follow him wherever he had gone.

That’s when Mr. Stewart, director of Caledonia Institute, walked in during the most opportune time, promising Christian he would save him from the gang leader because he had no other way to do so himself. He had even made the situation harder on Christian by lying to him and telling him that the gang leader was so well-known and he had the means of getting to and hurting his family in Houston as well.  

Christian’s hands were tied. He had no time to consider a solution and too scared over his family (both his own and Vida’s), he had agreed to Mr. Stewart’s help.

But Mr. Stewart’s help didn’t come with nothing in return. He had instructed Christian to be his private eye in Gallagher and be his personal set of eyes and ears, keeping track of the all the other agents he had sent to Gallagher. He tells Christian of the double agents he had already sent to Gallagher, what their missions are and what his own worries are.

Mr. Stewart gave Christian a few months of refresher and rigorous trainings in secret, just enough to have him apply as a first year by August. None of the other Caledonia agents and Gallagher double agents are aware of him.

And with that, Christian Torres was back to the spy world, dreading and hating the role he had to play and the fact that after everything, he was back to a world he hated the most and gave up so much to leave in the first place.

PERSONALITY

Christian might give off a broody vibe, sometimes. The fact that he smokes and has a good number of tattoos doesn’t help.

However, deep down he’s a really good guy. He has a short attention span; if a topic or an activity is not interesting enough he immediately moves onto something else. If he’s interested in the person and the conversation, he’s generally easy going and can carry a conversation. He can’t do small talk.

He’s 50% I don’t care, 50% I don’t know. After everything that has happened to him, he really has little care in the world left. The only thing he cares about (despite hating it) is his mission, because he owes Mr. Stewart big time. Memento mori is his motto in life. He thinks nothing is worth it as death is inevitable and nothing will matter at the end.

Boy is sarcastic, too. He doesn’t mean it in an awful way, it’s just the way he is!

He also tends to be lazy a lot of times. But is aware that sometimes he needs to put in the effort (especially when it comes to his mission) and so he does.

TL;DR:

Vida’s cousin (fathers are brothers), but they’re not too close because of their fathers’ strenuous relationship. Hates the spy life and left after spy prep graduation after his parents cut ties with him for wanting to quit. He traveled the world for a few years, participating in street racing for money. Got into a huge mess with a prominent racer gang leader who threatened to kill him wherever he went. Enter Mr. Stewart of Caledonia who promises to save Christian. Short on time and hands tied (plus feared his family would get hurt by the gang leader as stated by Mr. Stewart of Caledonia) Christian and was forced to accept his help in return. He’d become the personal set of eyes and ears for Mr. Stewart to keep track of the other double agents’ (unbeknownst to them) progress in Gallagher. He basically dreads and hates having to do this, but knows he has to.

[christiantcrres]

CHRISTIAN TORRES | FINAL PARA

You can find it in the source link or here. ♥

[christiantcrres]

THOMAS.

        TOMMY CAN UNDERSTAND THAT, not wanting to drag anyone else down with him. it doesn’t make him feel any better – and he wishes christian would’ve asked him or his family instead – but at least he can understand the reasoning.   “ i mean, being a spy is a career, ”   he says slowly, trying to say it as nicely as possible, because he doesn’t mean real offense.   “ you can’t do street racing forever. you’re going to end up in jail, or in the ground. ”   the latter could be said about being a spy, yes, but if tommy died as a spy, at least it’d be for a good cause. what would christian’s reason be, other than his stupidity ?   “ i’m sorry. ”   after everything, he was still rooting for christian and his parents to reconcile, but if they didn’t approve of their son’s life before, they probably would hate the whole caledonia blip on his resume. with one final drag of his cigarette, tommy drops it on the ground and snuffs it out.   “ just be careful. i’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that you messed with some bad people, and if you weren’t in danger before caledonia, you probably are now. i doubt we were able to get all the agents who were a part of it. ”   ones who probably weren’t very happy with how it happened, especially if they thought christian and the others ratted them out.   “ whatever you do after gallagher, lie for low for awhile. somewhere where you won’t be hurting anyone else in the process. ”   alone. glancing over at christian, tommy hesitates.   “ if you ever need anything… ”   he doesn’t really want to finish that sentence, but doesn’t think he needs to. as judgmental as he’s probably coming off, and how ANGRY as tommy is about everything, he’s not going to just stop caring about christian  ( even if he wants to ) . 

“Racing is one, too, maybe not as stable or legal, but it brings in money,” he says with a shrug. Christian never really struggled with money, because at first, Raul had been supporting him till he stood on his own two feet. Winning races, selling cars he won had won him more money than he needed. It was a gamble, surely, especially when the risk of losing money or cars associated with losing a race was there, but Christian never lead a life with minimal risk. And he liked it that way. “I’d say the same about being a spy, no? How many young agents have died on the field in their first few years on duty?” He’s not being argumentative and his tone is as calm as always. Maybe they were okay with this, and really, it’s their life, but Christian would never. And surely, they would use the ‘greater good’ reasoning, but he gives zero fucks about greater good. He’s not here to fix the world. “It’s fine. I’m not surprised.” He shrugs. His words have him nodding, he knows that well. He knows who to seek for races, he’s been with racing groups, during most of his time racing, who know the business from A to Z, so he never got into serious trouble. The race that fucked him up was one he joined on impulse out of anger when he had been alone. So that’s a mistake he’ll never repeat. “Okay, I’ll be careful.” His plan is to travel and drive around first, racing is an expected plan to come. “Thanks.” He doesn’t deserve this from him. “And likewise.” He means it.

[christiantcrres]

EVA.

– “WELL, THAT’S THE ADVANTAGE OF KEEPING PEOPLE AT AN ARMS LENGTH,” eva points out, “ it’s harder to betray them. ” and granted, most people she wouldn’t hesitate to knife in the back with little remorse, so it’s for everyone that she’s the type to keep her distance, or maybe distance is created by the fact that she’s so often ruthless. her soft spots are specific. “ i understand the advantages of staying, that it’s safety, stability for a certain amount of time, a certain level of job security, but i don’t think i can do that. stability has never been…well, it’s never really defined either of us, ” eva points out with a smile. it’s actually kind of fun to see christian a little hung up over a girl, maybe a little bit of karma for the way she was once hung up over him. “ unpredictability is kind of your thing anyway, right ? wouldn’t be very you to have a plan for it all, ” she kicks him gently with the point of her shoe, “ but i hope it works out. maybe you’ll start racing in italy. ” 

“You think you’ll keep in touch with anyone here?” He knows Eva has made some important connections, and it’s mainly because of the days he used to keep an eye on her for his task. All of the other ex agents had built some important connections. “I’d argue there’s hardly anything safe about being here.” Not when there was a literal murderer on campus last year, and three student deaths in a single year. But also, spyhood and safety don’t really exist in the same sentence. He smiles at her words, nodding. “Yeah, it’s never defined us. It was stifling for me here, to be honest.” He’d take a life of instability, moving from city to city, country to county, and all the adventures and hardships that came with it over this. He chuckles at her callout. “You got me there. Thanks. Italy’s got pretty nice places to race in.” He takes a drag from his smoke. “You know, if you ever need anything, let me know. Even if we’re in different countries.”

[christiantcrres]

STELLA.

That makes Christian a prime example of the spectrum of morality; he’s basing that judgement off what he considers transgression. Ask Stella and she’ll say doing whatever you want will lead to more calamity than calmness. She can’t help but purse her lips at his little mhm, knowing things aren’t exactly good between them but finding it hard not to cater to the approaching possibility she may not speak to him for a long time. “I like that.” She says lightly, both the statement and the way it sounds on his tongue. “Bold Stella.” Her eyes glance to the ceiling playfully, like she’s considering it, before settling on him again. “Is that how you’ll remember me?” She asks, face softening slightly at the end of her sentence, but she wants to stay playful. He could remember her in any of the states he’s seen her, some of her worst this year, but she wouldn’t mind if he remembers her bold. She doesn’t outright admit to leaving Gallagher just yet, but it’s implied. Stella’s not expecting him to keep it going, and she knows it’s best to continue to cut things short, but instead her head tilts and she squints his way. “I am dressed in red for a reason.” Stella didn’t promise sainthood tonight, and while her reservation isn’t strong, the comment clarifies that this kind of playful is momentary. She’s not surprised to hear he’s not coming back, but it’s a weird feeling, not knowing if they’ll truly keep in touch. “I’m happy for you. I know it’s what you’ve been wanting.” She means it, knowing freedom is his strongest craving and Gallagher probably only holds bad memories for him. Knowing he’s leaving too makes it easier to outright add, “I think my time at Gallagher has run its course.” 

He watches her quietly as she stares up at the ceiling, bringing his glass to his lips as he takes a sip. “Mhm. Bold Stella managed to surprise me plenty of times.” Especially when he’s always believed Stella to be more of a demure person, so whenever she said something bold, it had managed to bring a grin to his lips. The conversation is playful, it’s nice, but at the same time, it’s a sad one, because he’s leaving for good and he has no idea if he’d see her again and if or how much they’d keep in touch. He wants to ask how she would remember him, but he doesn’t want to find out, out of fear she’ll remember him as the Christian that kept things from her and hurt her. But he hopes she remembers her as the Christian who provided her a safe space to express herself and engaged in banter and jokes and playful games with her. “Ah, so they’re just acting in character,” he jokes. He can’t stop joking once he starts. He lets out a sigh at her words, nodding. “Thanks. Yeah, I just need to be away from it all. Drive around again, visit places.” He wants to race again, too, he’s missed the adrenaline and the rush and the excitement that comes with it. He’s been trapped here for far too long. “Yeah? I remember you mentioned not knowing if you belong here.” And he’s actually relieved she’s leaving. Because the spyhood world is too dangerous and it’ll be easier knowing Stella’s not in it anymore. He already has to live with the stress of some of the most important people in his life being in it. “What are you going to do?”

[christiantcrres]

VIDA.

“Yeah, barely. God, you really are such an idiot,” Vida huffs, eyes quickly scanning over him to make sure that he is in fact in one piece, and it’s clear that any insults she throws at him are coated in worry and concern. His casual air is both frustrating because she’s still upset, but comforting because, well, it’s very Christian. Satisfied at least that he’s physically alright, Vida looks back up at him with softer, more earnest eyes, and a hand squeezes his arm. “Have you spoken to your parents?” she asks, quieter, but with intention. Vida knows his relationship with his parents is strained at best, and she won’t put the blame on him for that, but she still thinks they should at least know what’s going on with their son.

“I know, I know.” And he’ll accept being scolded by his cousin. It’s just so good to see her. And while Christian is physically okay, mentally he’s not doing so well despite the nonchalant attitude he always has going. He’s happy he’s free and Stewart’s dead and his family’s safe and all of this is in the past, but he still has to work through everything with himself. And he needs to be away from here while he does that. There’s a pause when she inquires about his parents. Vida’s one of the very few people who knows everything about the relationship from A to Z. “Uh, they called me early last month, wanted to work things out and I said we’ll see where it goes, but I didn’t have much expectations,” he explains. “But after the scandal of, you know, all this, they haven’t contacted me since. Not surprised. You know Ricardo and Francisca, they probably popped nerves at the very least hearing about this.” He shrugs. “Hey, I know your dad’s probably heard about this, but uh -- tell him I’m okay, yeah? And don’t tell him the updates with my parents.” Vida’s father --- his uncle --- Sergio had kept in good contact with Christian over the years, so he doesn’t want him worrying about him. 

[christiantcrres]

THOMAS.

        “ AND YET YOU CHOSE TO TRUST SOMEONE IN THE ESPIONAGE WORLD with the safety of you and your family, rather than anyone else, ”   he points out, because he thinks it’s rich of christian to use that as an excuse. if christian had told him about the trouble him and his family was in, tommy would’ve done anything he could to help, and he’s sure there are others in his life who would’ve done the same.   “ so where you were before this, then ? ”   it feels weird for christian to be able to so easily go back to his old life, as if the past few years helping a crooked agency could be erased. especially when it’s that life that got him in this mess to begin with.   “ you know you can’t do that forever, mate. what about your family ? ”

“And what? Bring in someone I knew and put them in potential danger, too? I’ve already put my family in that, I wasn’t going to fuck up more than I already did.” He understands Tommy’s right to answers, but this is becoming more and more of an interrogation. He doesn’t show it, but it’s frustrating him. “Mhm. I need to be away from all of this again.” He has a lot to work out, primarily attempt to move past the baggage the past year and a half has left in him, and he needs to do it in an environment he feels more like himself in. “I’d say the same about you being in espionage,” he points out with a shrug. “I don’t know. I’m on good terms with Raul, as you’re aware. My parents and I will always have a strained, nonexistent relationship. They want a model son, someone who’ll abide by their rules and follow in their footsteps. I was and will be never be that.” His parents haven’t contacted him ever since the Caledonia scandal came out, so that was a dead giveaway to how they feel for Christian --- he’s not surprised. Not even one bit.

[christiantcrres]

EVA.

– “YOU WOULDN’T KNOW ETIQUETTE IF IT BIT YOU ON THE ASS,” eva remarks with a roll of her eyes. she’s seen him DRIVE after all, and there’s nothing so well-mannered about that. “ i…some people have tried to get me to stay, and i don’t think they’ve made the worst points. it’s not like i’m not used to being hated, but…i don’t think i could stomach another year here, i don’t know, ” she shakes her head, “ i don’t think they’ll stick around either. ” she is demanding, about time he realized that. “ needing time is a good thing, right ? that implies that…there’s still more to come. ” 

He chuckles lightly at her words, more so at the roll of her eyes. Besides, she’s one of the few people to know Christian pre Gallagher, so she knows him well. He takes a drag from his cigarette, nodding. “Yeah? It’s good people aren’t coming at you with pitchforks. I just don’t think being here will, you know, help any of us move past this,” he says quietly with a shrug. He needs to be as far away as possible from Gallagher and anything espionage-related, back somewhere he feels like himself, especially when he has to work on moving past everything that happened the past year and a half. “Mhm, it’s better that what I expected. But, I’m leaving and I don’t know if she’s staying, so I don’t where any of this will go.” He did recall she mentioned being conflicted about belonging here. 

[christiantcrres]

MARIFER.

“I think she’d have the biggest shock of her life if she got to witness Beyonce.” Marifer herself could hardly believe it was something she was getting to see let alone Gilly who’d lived so long ago. “I’m sure you’re right. More reason for her to come out and have a good time. Are you having a good time?” 

“Think she’d be okay with letting in a world famous singer into a spy school full of secrets? Always got the impression she’s uptight and stuck up? Hopefully she’s not hearing me right now,” he drawls, taking a sip of his drink. “Mhm, can’t complain. There’s an open bar.” And he’s counting down the seconds till he’s back on the road. “What about you?”

[christiantcrres]

RIA.

“Crazier things have happened,” Ria countered, giving a half smile over to him. She’d accepted her fate. Spyhood was what she was good at. Spyhood was what she knew. In a weird, fucked up way, it was her safety net. One of the very few that she had left. “Don’t say that to me, Chris.” Back on that nickname. “Do you think you’re going back to Europe? Going to take somewhere else on for size? I hear cars are very nice in Tokyo.” Shrugging, she gave a dry laugh, “It depends how you define okay. Most of my friends-” Real friends. “-are leaving. But I’ll get over it.” A few therapeutic screams later. She hadn’t had people to listen to her before, so she’d go back to good old unhealthy coping.

“Fair, the entire world is fucked.” He’s more freely expressing his revulsion towards spyhood. It’s true Ria had an idea before, but Christian had to tone is down slightly for the sake of his position. “I’m just sayin’, I do have the tendency.” Self-awareness, right? “Yeah, for starters. I want to go back on the road, travel around and race again. Who knows where I’ll go next.” He always take one day at a time, never a planner. “I want to go there someday.” He wants to go everywhere, so. “Do you blame them?” he asks with a shrug. “Sucks though, for you.” Because the place is already unbearable, and not having people you trust would make it even shittier.

[venividavici]

@christiantcrres​

“Christian,” Vida breathes as soon as she spots him, his name falling off her tongue in her Mexican accent. She’d made Emmett get here early with her precisely so she could see her younger cousin, the worry in her chest unable to fade until she could see him with her own two eyes. She doesn’t even give him a proper second, wrapping her arms around him and tucking his head into her shoulder, breathing properly again. “God, you’re such an idiot, god, I’m— I’m so glad you’re okay.”

[christiantcrres]

There’s an immediate and wide grin that curves up Christian’s lips at the sight of his cousin. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen her, but they’ve regularly kept in touch. “Vida,” he greets, her name also falling off his tongue in his Mexican accent, the accent that never comes out unless around family. “Is that my cousin?” he jokes playfully, hugging her tightly. “Hey, I’m okay. Alive and in once piece. It’s great to see you.”

[christiantcrres]

THOMAS.

        “ SO YOU KNEW YOUR AGENCY WAS KEEPING TABS ON THE STUDENTS HERE, and it didn’t raise any red flags ? ”   normally tommy would feel bad about asking so many questions, but right now it’s all he can really do to understand the full extent of what’s going on. christian is telling a story that sounds like it has major gaps that tommy can’t even begin to comprehend. he still doesn’t understand how a book that had been in cole’s possession had surfaced to the entire school, but it doesn’t seem like christian’s budging on giving him any answers then.   “ and what are you going to do ? ”   since it’s obvious he won’t be staying.

“Everything about the espionage world is a red flag to me, Tommy,” he states, letting out a slight chuckle, but there’s no humor at all in it. He doesn’t think there’s anything remotely positive about it. For him, it’s a world full of deceit and secrecy and lies, it’s one of the primary reasons why he left it behind all those years back. He doesn’t expect Tommy to like or accept his answer, given the very different views on espionage. “Go back on the road, traveling and racing.” He hasn’t race in a year and a half and he’s counting down the seconds till he can do it again.

[christiantcrres]

STELLA.

An ironic laugh settles in her chest, only peeking out in a huff when she rolls her eyes. “You know far too much about me to think me a saint.” The way she left her family, the secrets she’s kept. Though it only reminds her of the things he doesn’t know, the things she thinks warrants such a color. “I was a bit tired of people seeing me that way, I guess. Though it’s just a silly dance.” Dressing in red isn’t really proving a point, and she doesn’t think anyone here really deserves to be dressed up as a saint after this past year. Except maybe Anya. Stella sets him up for it and she knows it, eyes soft on him while she waits to see if he takes the bait or pulls away from her. She thinks she wants them to be playful again, no tension like they agreed to, but when he hits her with the very response she expected she doesn’t know what to say. Like she should have been prepared, but it makes her nervous just like the first time, even after all this time. She’s braver now though, and unlike months ago she knows whatever relationship they do have is in her hands. In fact, all of her relationships are in her hands, and it’s a strange and new feeling. “It doesn’t really matter if they are.” She says matter-of-fact, not denying it, but pointing out that they’re not in any position for it to actually mean something. She glances away, grabbing a drink from a passing tray and taking a sip. “I don’t imagine you’re taking Gallagher up on its offer?” She says lightly, knowing him well enough to know he wouldn’t stay but wanting to hear it from his own lips. 

He wouldn’t say leaving her family behind makes her a sinner, because that’d go against what he advocated for: doing whatever you want. “Mhm.” He clicks his tongue, a hint of a smile forming on his lips. “Bold Stella,” is all he says, and he thinks it’s pretty self-explanatory. “There’s a pressure that comes with being seen that way.” A saint, he means. The expectations. People never expect much from him when he never gives them a reason to. He has no idea what she’ll reply next, and there’s a certain level of nervousness that comes with it, since they are still attempting to fall back into the playful dynamic they had going, and he has no idea what is okay and what isn’t. The ball’s in Stella’s court --- she gets to direct this conversation however comfortable for her. He has to take a sip of his glass at her answer, to buy himself some time. “They don’t seem to be very compliant,” he jokes, understanding fully well what she’s implying but also wanting to keep the mood light, so he’ll do what he does best. He looks down at her at her question, thinking she might already know the answer because she knows enough about him. “No, I’m not, I’m not coming back next year. This entire world was never my thing and it never will be. Are you coming back?” Because he recalls how she was unsure if she belongs here.

[jahboni]

[christiantcrres]

THOMAS.

       “ WERE YOU RECRUITED SPECIFICALLY TO COME TO GALLAGHER ? ”   he asks, because it would make sense. nobody would look at a torres to be a traitor, not when there’s a floor named after him. from the way christian’s describing it, it sounds like he was the number two to mr. stewart, which only continues to make tommy wonder why christian hadn’t bothered to ask any questions – like why he had to spy on his own teammates. the book had been another piece of information he was curious about, so he’s glad christian brought it up without him asking.   “ you didn’t leak it, ”   he repeats, flatly.   “ you just wrote it. ”   it’ll be impossible for tommy to forget the anxiety that came with reading the burn book for the first time, and knowing christian was a part of it makes him feel physically ill. being secretive is a part of being a spy and he knows it, but it feels like there are more gaps to the mission than there should be. it’s easy to poke holes in the story when he wasn’t the one in christian’s position, but tommy knows he’d never let himself get there.   “ so now he’s dead, and your family’s fine, so you’re… what now ? ”

“Yeah, I was.” And in a state of panic and fear over his family’s safety, Christian didn’t ask for information and details beyond what was provided for him and beyond what was very surface level. But Christian won’t blame himself for not asking questions, he had a choice to make back then, that was pushed by fear and lack of time and he had to take it, not wanting to risk his family’s safety. “Cole wrote it. I only found out about it end of last semester. Cole had it hidden from Stewart.” He sighs, moving to rub the nape of his neck. The burn book leak is not something that anyone will be able to move past so easily. “Free,” he answers simply. “Sutton said we’re free to enroll here, but she’s crazy thinking that.” He doesn’t need to spill it out for Tommy to know there’s no way Christian’s coming back next year.

[christiantcrres]

RIA.

It didn’t take too long for them to remember the ways the other reacted. Time changed a lot of things, it didn’t change everything. “Yes, I wanted to hear you say it yourself.” And maybe, selfishly, she hoped there was a small chance of him staying. The more people she had around that she trusted, the less she felt herself wanting to slip back into being vile. “I’m glad your family is okay.” It was sick, what spies would do for power. “Yeah, no falling off the face of the earth this time. Okay?” She gave a small smile, “Thanks for you know, being there and stuff.” A real thank you. A rare thank you. Instinct was to latch onto what she knew, and she was glad he hadn’t pushed her away.

“Well, there you go. It’s crazy to consider coming back here.” Not just because of his reputation in the school now, but why would anyone want to be back to a place like this? He’s counting down the days till he’s back in his car and on the road, already looking forward to his first race in two years. “If I do fall off the face of the earth, know that I’m fine.” Because he has the tendency to do that. “Don’t mention it. You doing okay?” He just listened to her, that’s all that people need sometimes.

[christiantcrres]

EVA.

– “YOU’RE NOT. SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT ETIQUETTE?” she points out, because he does whatever he wants with zero care. he’s so cordial about the way he lights her cigarettes now, unfeeling. there used to be a time when he’d look at her and sparks would fly like the lighter between them, but the shift is still warm. comfortable. the change from who they were to who they’ve become isn’t bad. “ no, definitely not. it’s hilarious that sutton thinks any of us would been interested in sticking around, ” she says. not when the whole school hates them. “ i’ve always been nosy. besides, you can’t tell me information and then be unwilling to follow up, ” she adds, kicking him lightly in his shoe with hers. 

“Always. I’m a poster for etiquette,” he drawls, giving her a small smile. They both know he is so far away from that. “I know. Everyone here can’t stand the sight of us, it’s insane to even consider wanting to come back. You think Cecilia or Carmichael will stay?” Since Cole is graduating anyway. He gives her a slight chuckle. “Fine, fine. So demanding,” he teases lightly. “We just talked, and I explained everything. She needs time to move past what I’ve done.” He takes a drag from his cigarette.