𝑃𝐸𝐴𝐶𝐸. @ofthomas - Tumblr Blog

⌠ GIANCARLO COMMARE, 23, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, THOMAS “TOMMY” BLACK! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT + AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL HAND TO HAND COMBAT; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (disheveled brunette curls, the soft strum of an acoustic guitar, cigarette smoke clung to a white t-shirt, and a serious, unwavering gaze). when it’s the (pisces)’s birthday on 3/08/97, they always request their PASTA BOLOGNESE from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ deanna, 25, she/her, est ⍀

#gallagher:intro

sylphidstella:

Stella knows what she’s risking by asking Tommy this, but their relationship is built on risks. Tommy’s secret spy track, Stella’s violent lineage, lies and guilt and regret. At least when she risks the dreamy landscape they’d just danced within, repairing their relationship these past few months, she can say it’s by choice. They’re standing close and she’s giving him a chance he never gave himself in hopes that, if they can finally face what might always linger above them, they may be able to release it. In this way, they can set each other free. Her breath is steady only as a distraction, counting the seconds between inhales until she’s short of breath. He speaks and her eyebrows perk in anticipation, chin cocking to better see him. Eyes trickle down to his hands as he reaches for her, settling her nerves in a single gesture, to be met with a relieved smile that her risk had not shunned her. The soft skin of his thumb draws her fingers to comfortably sit in his palm before her focus returns to his face. She wants to see him when he speaks. If her senses fail her and the sounds begin to warp, she can read his eyes.

Stella searches his eyes as he searches for words, and a breath catches in her throat when he carries on quicker. Tommy isn’t saying anything he hasn’t before but this time is different. The way she’d flinched at his touch in the Abandoned Chapel doesn’t reflect in how she currently squeezes his hand. The cold anger and betrayal she’d harbored by the time they spoke in the Astronomy Tower stretches miles away from the affinity that encourages her smile. He mentions Vito’s and her family and Stella feels she might cry but instead she laughs lightly with wet eyes and lets her head fall fleetingly, afraid she might miss something. There’s a completeness in the way their stories have so seamlessly aligned. She can always hold onto him not being the one to say goodbye, but how can she stay angry at his reasons when they share the same face as her own? He pauses to brush her hair and she tilts her head against his palm, breathing in the earthy air indulgently. Her free hand rises to keep his hand there a little longer, rubbing her thumb along the outside, before she finds herself holding both his hands between them. There’s a certain sadness in his smile when he finishes, but she can’t mirror it for him, because while these aren’t the circumstances she’d fantasized meeting him again, she doesn’t know if she would have made it through this year without him. He was arguably one of the hardest parts about it, just as he was arguably one of the best. She takes a deep breath just the same and caters to the shivery fuss in her abdomen–one of excitement, of nerves, of risk. “Thank you.” She starts. She takes one long, final look at him, and he looks sad, a bit tired, but he is beautiful like an old movie. She thinks he would shine without color.

Stella can’t find the words to say goodbye to him in a way that feels all encompassing, so just as they’d danced, she follows his lead. “Being in Italy was the best time of my life.” Those times with and without him. “But…it is time for me to go. And…and maybe not entirely because I want to leave, but because I have to.” She repeats his words back to him, her own experience coating it on the way out. “You’re still the person who knows the most about me, and that…I believe that will never change. And it’s..it is because I love you that I have to go. You deserve more than what I can offer you. We both know perfect…it does not last.” Lips pressing together, she could argue this is a testament to that, how perfect it felt to dance with him in the garden, but she doesn’t think this moment is anything short of perfect in its own way. “But I don’t want you to…” she shakes her head, his words on repeat so she could preserve them, they fall from her tongue so effortlessly it’s as though he’s written them for her to give to him. “I don’t want you to think any of this has to do with how I feel about you.” At some point she’d craved escaping him but leaving now, while she knows they need the time apart, is not personal. “I love you–” she says again, earnestly, clenching her grip, giving it a few seconds to exist out there alone–without reason, without regret, without circumstance “–always.” It feels like she’s been holding onto it with white knuckles for weeks, forcing it back down inside her but it feels good to be able to tell him. She understands why he had to do the same. She pulls a hand and wipes her cheek, words speeding up at the burst of release in her chest when she says it. Her voice begins to crack. “I don’t expect you to understand why I have to do this but I-I hope one day you can forgive me. That’s a future I’m holding out for.” Stella accepts that maybe they had their chance and it was magical. She’s made peace with it. It may seem unfair that this is how they’ll part but she knows in her chest, against her own heart, it is what she has to do. Maybe they will never be able to be together, but she wants to live in a world where one day they can fully forgive each other for everything they’ve ever done. His other hand drops and her thumbs come to stroke beneath her eyes, a shy laugh built from joy and clarity and love. “Goodbye, Tommy.”

NOTHING ABOUT HIS GOODBYE IS PARTICULARLY NOVEL. in fact, he’s pretty sure he had said nearly all of it during their first few conversations at gallagher, at the abandoned church and the astronomy tower. but any explanations he had given her back then were sprinkled in with empty apologies, trying to atone for sins he was only half aware he had committed. it’d take the whole school year to learn that such sins and distrust would only heal with time and effort on their side, and even now, it doesn’t feel completely OVER until tommy’s able to get off his chest the goodbye that never was. if he squints at her, he can probably mistake their surroundings for a milanese garden they’d stroll through while taking the long way home from dinner, and it wouldn’t be hard to imagine italian lyrics to go along with the faint music coming from the ballroom. the goodbye he gives her is one of a young man, nearly still a teenager, but tommy’s never felt more aged than he does now, unlocking the ability to move forward by getting it off his chest. when he had left stella in italy, part of him had been stuck there as well, haunting the piazzas he had once known so intimately. perhaps he had never been able to feel as happy as he had been in italy because he had left too much of himself in the country : at vito’s restaurant, at the park, at their old flat. but there’s a stirring in his chest when he’s finally finished with all he has to say, as if those old pieces of himself have finally been returned to him. except one, tommy thinks, as he takes his time cradling stella’s face when she keeps his hand on her cheek. he had given estella manchesi a piece of himself when he had given her his heart, and he can’t imagine ever getting it back. he wouldn’t want it, anyway ; it was hers to do what she pleased with it.

for days tommy had been dreading this, knowing they’d be walking out of each other’s lives tonight, potentially for good. what he hadn’t anticipated was the catharsis that comes with this moment, from a goodbye years ago he thought they both would never get. and with that behind them, the rest seems suddenly a lot more simple. it takes him a moment to realize what she’s doing, but a small smile soon flickers on his lips, head nodding slowly as he gives her the time and attention she had just given him. he only breaks their eye contact once, having to glance away to catch his breath, feeling his chest tighten with emotion. him and stella reuniting at the abandoned chapel at the beginning of the year had been the first and only time tommy ever cried on campus, and he’s not looking to break that streak now, even if these tears aren’t sad. it’s a large swirl of emotions — relief, pride, nostalgia, longing, love — and for once, tragedy isn’t written in this moment. they’ve had enough tragedy in their lives, both together and separately, and he’s sure there’s more to come. yet none of it can touch them right now, no matter how small and fleeting the moment may be. tommy’s gaze only finds hers again when she says three little words with a very big impact, brown eyes quick to dart back towards hers, holding her gaze despite her tears threatening to get in the way. i love you. always. they feel like both a revelation and a reassurance — not something he had ever NEEDED to hear from her, but it will make the following days, weeks, months without her easier. no matter what’s happened between them, whether their roads would cross again or stay parallel for the rest of their lives, it won’t take away the love they have for each other. for someone who seldom asks for much, it’s more than tommy could ask for.

“ i understand, stel. ” his words are quiet as he gives her a final, solemn nod. and he does get it — there’s a reason why their goodbyes parrot one another, because despite the time and setting and circumstances being different, nothing between them has really changed. they’re still both from different worlds, heading into futures that won’t align, and yet they still love each other. parting with her isn’t easy, but the grief is NOTHING like what he had felt after leaving her years ago. it’s the end of a very satisfying chapter, one they’ve written together, and tommy will hope that perhaps one day they’ll get their epilogue. thomas black isn’t a religious man, but he’s found faith in brown eyes and a dreamy smile. eyes flicker to the tears she wipes away after releasing his hands, and while it’d be so easy to reach out and brush them away himself, it’s no longer his job. but he will take a step towards her, bringing his lips to brush against her forehead, keeping them there for a few seconds longer than necessary. when he steps away again, he knows it’ll be for good. “ arrivederci, stella. ”

#tommy ; stella #:)#end scene roll credits

sylphidstella:

Pulling away from Tommy is inevitable; Stella wonders if maybe it always had been. She was naïve in her youth to think life would make things easy for them, that they would make it easy for each other. Stella can’t attest to chance, and they may share differing opinions on luck, but she believes fate’s hand has always pressed the small of their backs, pushing them toward each other. She feels equally blessed that life has chosen to make things easy for them right now, even for just this moment. That’s how this kiss feels, easy. It serves different purposes for them but they both get what they want out of it, whatever that may be. What they seem to agree on is this is more a goodbye kiss than something to dissect, but Stella knows pulling away from Tommy is inevitable. She’s pleased he makes no grand attempts to quicken it, and instead holds her to him, eyes on each other. Huffing an amused laugh, she feels warm under his attention. “And I suppose you are a bit spontaneous, after all.” She says quietly, playfully coy. Her fingers in his hair loosen when he says what she presumes to be the line to part them, and she wistfully surrenders him while taking a step back. Soon this moment will be another memory. Stella realizes, with her eyes dancing over his pink lips, his flushed complexion, the line of his shoulders, that this is the goodbye he’d once stolen from her. She’s felt his breath blend into hers; he is no longer a ghost. "We were never strangers.” She says assuredly, but those parting words remain unsatisfying. Her chest inflates with the few seconds before commitment, where time makes room for reconsideration. She breathes it out, making her next precarious choice of the evening. Stella knows easy is what she’s risking, yet she looks up at him with with the remnants of a smile on her lips. “I thought that I had lost the chance to say goodbye to you years ago.” They can dance for as long as they’d like, their steps will always echo. “And I’ve been trying not to think about it but I…it’s important to me that we…” She meets his gaze, a quiet plead in her eyes. She imagined what he might’ve said to her over and over. If what will always hold them back is what never was, this may be their last chance to resurrect it. “If you could have done it yourself. Back then. What would you have said to me when you came to say goodbye?”

OF ALL THE SPONTANEITY HE’S DONE IN HIS LIFE, tommy wouldn’t count kissing stella moments ago to be a part of that. to him the kiss was inevitable, something he had been counting down to do since they had laid together in her dorm weeks ago. still, her coyness makes him chuckle, a nice distraction as she pulls away from his arms. the night suddenly feels a lot colder without her warmth, but tommy supposes that’s something he’ll have to get used to. her words make him smile slightly, and he nods in agreement, thinking about how even through the worst of it this year – even after finding out about her fiancé back home, and her running away from the most important people in her life – tommy had never once felt like he didn’t truly know her. despite wishing they could spend the rest of their evening together, he knows that stella has a lot of other goodbyes to give tonight, so he gives her an out to leave while she still can. so her hanging back makes him pause, heartbeat picking up at the mention of missed goodbyes from the past. if her question isn’t enough for the air to suck out of his lungs, the way she looks up at him certainly does the trick. forget being cold without her moments ago ; his body suddenly feels warm all over. tommy takes a long, deep breath, bringing his hand to scratch the side of his chin. he’d be lying if he said their goodbye that never was isn’t one he’s thought of before, many sleepless nights writing and rewriting a scene that would never happen in his mind. “ well, ” he’s slow to start, “ i probably would’ve started by sitting you down, and taking your hands, like this. ” tommy takes a step forward so he can reach for them, thumb brushing lightly against the back of her hands. his eyes lift to meet hers, trying to imagine how sick to his stomach he would’ve felt doing this four years ago, and how steady he suddenly feels now.

“ i would’ve... i would’ve told you that you knew i had only come to italy for holiday, but obviously stayed because i had met you. and how i had been planning on going back to school after a year, but clearly that didn’t happen. ” also because of her. tommy pauses for a moment, emotion swelling his chest that he has to settle. when he starts again, he can’t get himself to stop. “ and how being in italy was the best time of my life, even if i had to work in a sweaty restaurant, and i never got to meet your whole family. but it was time for me to go, not because i wanted to leave, but because i had to. all my life, i had been working towards a future for myself, the same future as my parents, who had... had done everything for me, really. and it was because of them that i had to go back and see it through, because i owed them everything, including a future they’ve already invested so much in. ” reaching up, tommy brushes some windblown hair out of her eyes, smiling weakly. it’s bittersweet, realizing how some things haven’t changed. “ i probably would’ve told you that there were some things i never told you about my past, just like i know you haven’t told me everything either, and that’s okay. you’re still the person who knows the most about me, and that probably won’t change. but not all of it is good — i kept things from you because it was too dangerous, actually. and it’s because i love you that i’d have to go, and probably wouldn’t be able to contact you afterwards, both because i don’t want you get wrapped up in any danger, and because you deserve a lot more than what i can offer you. our time together was perfect, but perfect doesn’t last, and we both know it. but i don’t want you to think any of this has to do with how i feel about you, because... i loved you, so much, ” he whispers. tommy doesn’t need to say it in present tense ; they both know better. “ and i always will. walking away right now is the hardest thing i’ll probably ever have to do, and i don’t expect you to understand, but i hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me one day. and maybe in the future, we’ll be able to find each other again, ” he smiles sadly, “ and things can be different. that’s a future i’m holding out for. ”

#had to read this back like five times today alone and im still unwell #but im back :) hi #tommy ; stella #you had to know this would get longer #but feel free to shorten <3 #i couldve kept going but i stopped myself

sylphidstella:

“I’ve heard France is lovely this time of year. It’s quite close.” Her lips purse playfully. Stella imagines wherever Tommy is in Switzerland that Italy will always be closer; he carries a part of it around with him wherever he goes. But she furthers the conversation from herself because the more she teases the more it starts to sound like an invitation in her own ears, and if he asked right now with the wine warming through her and that look in his eyes she might not tell him no. She’s lost sight numerous times tonight of what’s best for her, and up until now she’s made every precarious choice she’s been faced with and it’s unlikely she’ll conclude. This past year has made it crucial to believe in chance, that some things are out of her control. Looking at him now, it’s hard not to reflect on when she’d first laid eyes on him at the Masquerade Ball. She knew him from the curve in his neck, from the slant of his jaw under his mask. She feels silly now, as her eyes trace the bridge of his chin, to believe there ever was a time she didn’t know him, to think chance could define them. “Luck seems too simple a word.” She admits rhetorically. She feels lucky but luck implies stagnation. They’d worked for this; this dance did not come without swelled feet and bruised toes. When she slows to speak his name she holds a question on the tip of her tongue, lips parting prematurely but she’s stunted by the cool absence of his hand on her back. Stella’s eyes drift when his hand meets her cheek but they rise slowly, just in time for his lean. Her inhale pulls him in with the air, and the kiss is softer than she’d imagined. Stella hadn’t intended to kiss Tommy tonight, but the thought of kissing him is something that’s been swirling inside her since the moment they met. He kisses her and her body knows her better than herself, because she’s kissing him back without thinking, without considering if there are consequences. She doesn’t care. Her hand slides from his chest and gentle fingers skeptically tickle up his neck before creeping into his dark curls. She tries to savor it, kiss him slowly before their lips part for a breath; she exhales awed against his lips, not yet pulling away. Part of her knows this rapture is momentary.

IT’S TRUE THAT GENEVA IS FAR CLOSER TO FRANCE THAN IT IS ITALY ; it’s also true that france hasn’t once crossed his mind to visit this summer. he’ll chalk it up to the fact that he’s been there already, and not because he doesn’t have anybody worth visiting in the country. luck seems too simple of a word. they’re the words last spoken before he leans into her, so it’s no surprise they’re the ones echoing in his head as her lips meet his. tommy’s never been one to believe in luck, knowing that good things come to those who strive for it, and sometimes even then it doesn’t always work out. everything he’s ever gotten is because he WORKED for it, and him and stella have certainly worked for this new relationship between them, taking a disastrous departure a few years back and molding it into something beautiful, something that allowed them to be in the position they’re in now. tommy’s never thought of himself as a lucky fellow, but maybe they do have something on their side, something intangible that he can only pinpoint in the way their lips move slowly against each other’s. the arm around her waist tugs her closer until their chests are rising and falling in a rhythm similar to the way they were dancing moments before, hand still cradling her face as he breathed her in. it wouldn’t be a kiss that could last forever, and tommy knew that — nor was it passionate, or frenzied, or anything like so many of their past kisses. this kiss tastes of white wine and goodbyes, a goodbye that’ll never be expressed as well with words as it is now, because there’s really no words that can express just how much he’s going to miss her. his forehead rests against hers for a few slow heartbeats as they catch their breath afterward, not yet ready to pull away, his fingers moving to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. tommy only pulls away far enough to study her face tenderly, still inches apart, memorizing it. he could apologize for kissing her, but he’s not sorry for doing it. “ you really do look beautiful tonight, ” tommy says instead, voice soft. it’s more of a comment to fill the silence, but it’s clear from his careful gaze that it’s nearly all he can think about right now. “ don’t be a stranger, alright ? ”

#QUICK WHERE'S CHRISTINA mood #i already texted her xx #the fear i have you talking about ur next reply........#tommy ; stella #im not pleased with this but it do be like that sometimes

sylphidstella:

Stella hadn’t predicted a lack of hesitancy in Tommy’s touch. Part of her had imagined it, after months of uncertainty in every movement they made, she’d imagined it plenty. Part of her may have boldly requested it, she thinks, had he held her with any less confidence than he’s doing right now. She didn’t suspect she would be so adamant about not leaving campus in a few days without a moment like this, not until it was happening in real time. “True. Though there are certainly better places.” She says cheekily, knowing without specifics they’re in agreement. Fight her forever, no place will compare to home. But she’s not trying to insinuate anything; Stella also thinks it’s best they’ll find themselves in two different places this summer. They both need the time to figure themselves out without the weight she thinks their history might always hold, without the distraction of it. Despite feeling like they’re in a much better place now, a few more weeks together and she’s not sure what would have come of them. Stella would’ve hated for another surprise circumstance to muddy what they’ve worked so hard to rinse, but it’s likely she’s less worried things might’ve gotten worse as she is they might’ve gotten better. She doesn’t need any more reasons to stay. “But Switzerland is new, something different. You deserve that.” She says softly. She thinks he deserves whatever he wants, but sometimes something new and different is what someone needs. At least, that’s what she’ll be telling herself as she tries to face her life head on, as she plans for departure, as she plans for their final goodbye. “Perhaps we are both lucky.” She feels lucky, this moment feels lucky. Truthfully, not even in her better daydreams could she had predicted a closing so refreshing. The sound of the wind rustles through the garden holding them like a musical jewelry box. He winds it up when he twirls her; she feels like she’s spinning at the center of everything. Her giggle chimes and she curls back into him, and like every ballerina in a music box, her song is short lived. “Thomas?” She says lightly looking up at him, doesn’t dare step out of line as they move, but her dancing slows.

“ IS THERE ? ” he gives her a look, as if tommy would ever dare actually argue with that logic. they both know switzerland vs its neighboring country is hardly a debate for the both of them, but he doesn’t exactly know what to make of her comment. is there an unspoken INVITATION in that, or is he just hearing what he wants ? either way, he’ll try to keep his distance this summer, although tommy doesn’t account for the random text here and there he’ll eventually send to check in on her. no matter how much or how little they keep in touch this summer, she’ll be on his mind a lot. her summer’s going to be far more difficult than his, after all. tommy offers her a kind smile when she wishes him a positive change in his life, regarding the switzerland internship. he doesn’t care much about the work, but he IS looking forward to the unknown that comes with some traveling before and after, and even during. tommy’s never been to swizerland before ; it had been on his itinerary before getting lost on italian streets, chasing after a local. “ maybe we are lucky, ” he says, tone nearly as soft as hers, almost afraid if he speaks too loudly it’ll scare away the music. the music from the ballroom may be impossible to hear by now, but if it is tommy doesn’t notice, their own melody ringing in his ears as they move together. despite everything that’s happened between them this year – after the last three years – it’s hard not to feel more blessed than anything, every new moment with stella feeling an awful lot like living on borrowed time. he’s not sure that feeling will ever stop, them cheating fate, even if he doesn’t know when they’ll get another moment like this. and it’s because that unknown that tommy doesn’t want to look back on this night with any regrets, especially as their bodies slow and stella looks up at him with big, beautiful eyes. if he thought about his next actions too hard, tommy’s sure he would’ve talked himself out of it — which is why his mind falls silent as he moves a hand from her back to cup her cheek lightly, thumb stroking her cheek before he leans in to close the space between them. the kiss is gentle but not tentative, because it’s exactly what he’s wanted for a LONG time now, perhaps since seeing her in the abandoned chapel back in october. but he gives her the opportunity to pull away if she wishes, because he is aware he’s crossing a line. but when their time is fleeting, tommy doesn’t give a damn about imaginary lines they’ve been dancing around all year.

#replying to this on scene as if this isnt entirely on brand #tommy ; stella #the irony of him thinking shes spending her summer in italy el oh el #me knowing exactly how i was gonna answer this as soon as i read ur reply #sorry not sorry :)

chrlseatn

ofthomas / thomas black

THE SLIGHT SMILE ON TOMMY’S LIPS IS HUMORLESS, because there’s nothing really funny about stella being a constant in his brother’s life, even if it’s arguable that it’s something he deserves. charlie pointing out that tommy will only have questions is annoying, because obviously he’s going to have even more questions if he’s told NOTHING. there’s nothing more annoying than someone dangling missing information in front of your face, and sometimes he feels like charlie does that on purpose, to get him to bite, so tonight he’ll let it lie. “ you don’t know ? ” it doesn’t seem like a question that’s very hard to answer – but this is charlie, and tommy’s seen how complicated he’s made his relationship with sloane in the past. he won’t point out that it’s a yes or no question, and tommy ALMOST lets him off the hook and changed the subject — but god, he HATES when charlie gets self-deprecating. “ i mean, if you like her, i’d say it matters. ” his words are gentle, because he knows it’s not charlie’s fault his brain seems to tell him otherwise. “ just because you’re… going through things right now doesn’t mean you should shut yourself out to something that could be good for you, you know. you deserve to be happy. ” whether it’s sloane, or anya, or anything else. it’s not lost on tommy that they seem to never be able to NOT have a heavy conversation, but this is so not the place for it ; with a tired laugh, tommy takes a long swig of his drink. “ christ. ”

it’s hard for charlie to fathom what he’s truly deserving of, unsure of whether everyone's equally entitled to feeling good and nurtured. he’s put too much destruction into the universe to feel he can deal in terms tommy speaks of. if you believe in karma, you’d think he’s hardly begun to repent his crimes, and he’s got enough rotten fate left in him to last for at least another century. if you believe in redemption, you’d think he’s still got a second chance or two left in him. charlie doesn’t quite know what he believes in, but he thinks a heart is perhaps the last thing he should be trusted with. maybe he’s too hard on himself, or maybe it’s payback for all the times he’s been self-centered. whatever it is, he isn’t apt to figure it out tonight — not when they’re at a party, not when they’re meant to be having a good time. so he gives his brother a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, wrapping his arm around tommy’s shoulder as a playful gesture. “ er, right. thanks tommy. let’s just go and enjoy the party, yeah ? ”

#CHRISTINAAAAA #IM SO SAD #tommy ; charles #what a fucking way to end it huh #charlie not believing hes worthy of love #somehow this feels accurate

nuvcns:

“ 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚏 right now we’re gonna aiming for lisbon , barcelona , geneva and possibly finish off our trip in london . ” she’s pretty excited for this trip . it was unfortunate that she had to reschedule it last summer because of the berlin internship . she notices how tommy’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes when she confirms her departure . this is what she wanted to avoid . “ don’t be . it’s not your fault , ” she smiles softly before bringing her glass up to her lips . “ thanks tommy . i’m sure we’ll still see each other . ” she’s always assumed that she’ll have to experience gallagher without tommy for a year . funny how life works . “ maybe more so than when we used to as kids . it beats the 10 hour flights . ”

“ WOW, ALL THAT ? will that be your whole summer ? ” he asks, and if so, tommy’s incredibly jealous. though excited for geneva, these last few weeks have given him an itch to travel, to not stay in one place for too long. maybe by the time his internship begins, he’ll already be sick of traveling. lari says it’s not his fault, but he feels a tug of blame anyway ; had it not been for the secret unlocked about their parents, would she still not be returning ? it’s also safe to assume they won’t be seeing very much of each other after this ( it’s not like their families are friends anymore ) , but he’ll nod anyway, not wanting to ruin the moment. “ this summer, then. whether it’s geneva or elsewhere, i’ll come see you. ” it’s a PROMISE. “ it’ll probably be easier once i graduate. but don’t be a stranger. if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. ”

#tommy ; lari

chrlseatn:

charlie can’t help a bit of laughter at that one, eyes fluttering to the ceiling. “ of course she is, ” he sighs, because it’s just another example of how inescapable stella is. she’s everywhere. “ yeah, but we’re at a party, and i know you’re going to have questions. ” he’d certainly have a list, if he was in tommy’s place. but it’s that last bit that gets to him a little. “ i don’t know, ” the boy starts, the corners of his lips falling into a frown. when you know someone best through lead pencil and scraps of notebook paper, doodles in margins and stamps on an envelope … you aren’t thinking about them in a way that’s tangible. in charlie’s adolescent years, his last physical memories of anya were the ones that’d been forged when their families got together. during mealtimes and playdates, picking the seats closest to each other at the dining room table, or exchanging made up stories and tea parties in the girl’s childhood bedroom. after that, she was rendered a voice. she became his conscience. he’s gradually begun to look at her differently since she’s come to gallagher, things like touch and proximity bringing them closer together, in a new way … but he tries not to think of anyone like that, let alone anya casiraghi. she’s just another person who’s much too good for him. “ it doesn’t matter. ”

THE SLIGHT SMILE ON TOMMY’S LIPS IS HUMORLESS, because there’s nothing really funny about stella being a constant in his brother’s life, even if it’s arguable that it’s something he deserves. charlie pointing out that tommy will only have questions is annoying, because obviously he’s going to have even more questions if he’s told NOTHING. there’s nothing more annoying than someone dangling missing information in front of your face, and sometimes he feels like charlie does that on purposeful, to get him to bite, so tonight he’ll let it lie. “ you don’t know ? ” it doesn’t seem like a question that’s very hard to answer -- but this is charlie, and tommy’s seen how complicated he’s made his relationship with sloane in the past. he won’t point out that it’s a yes or no question, and tommy ALMOST lets him off the hook and changed the subject --- but god, he HATES when charlie gets self-deprecating. “ i mean, if you like her, i’d say it matters. ” his words are gentle, because he knows it’s not charlie’s fault his brain seems to tell him otherwise. “ just because you’re... going through things right now doesn’t mean you should shut yourself out to something that could be good for you, you know. you deserve to be happy. ” whether it’s sloane, or anya, or anything else. it’s not lost on tommy that they seem to never be able to NOT have a heavy conversation, but this is so not the place for it ; with a tired laugh, tommy takes a long swig of his drink. “ christ. ”

#if this doesnt make sense its bc im attempting to multitask #this took a turn #tommy ; charles

sylphidstella:

Stella nods with understanding, ever familiar with the concept of running away. “Sometimes you must do things for yourself. Take a break.” It doesn’t make him a bad person, because if he’s wrong for avoiding his parents with a summer trip, then she deserves to be doused in red. She speaks simply, also having considered what an alternate summer might look like, quenching a desire for a little more time before having to face the strife she left behind in Italy. Her family will still be there in August, she reminds herself, and being at Gallagher never did feel like much of a break. “Ah, well I am rooting for you.” If it’s normalcy he’s craving she can relate better than the next person, and she wants it for him too. If it had been chaos that he craved, she would have rooted for him just the same, even if she lacked the understanding. She won’t press her thumb into a mold that isn’t hers, trying to learn from the things that blighted her during her own healing. Their back and forth has always been subtle, written in the tone of their voices, present enough for them to pick up but light enough for a stranger to miss. “How very spontaneous of you.” She plays, practically glides into position, and lacking any of the discomfort she may have felt at his touch months ago. Her other hand rests just below his shoulder, on the cusp of his chest, and her eyes stay on his face the entire time. With the way her neck tilts up to see him, hair falls off her shoulders, and she smiles coquettishly. “I like it much more when you do it.” So she lets him guide her, anticipates his steps like she already knows the route of his body. If she lets the music blur behind her she thinks it almost sounds like their song, she lets it hum in her head, an unexplained smile finding her lips. “Whenever I need it.” She answers vaguely, but there is no better descriptor. When she feels lonely, or stressed, but also now–when she feels recognized, serene. “You’re quite good. You’ve gotten better.” She squints and wrinkles her nose, softly shaking her head, teasing him. He’s always been graceful.

TOMMY’S NEVER BEEN VERY GOOD AT DOING THINGS FOR HIMSELF, at least not recently. the last time he had really tried indulging himself for an evening, he had brought a date to the cherry blossom event, which he had to hear about from numerous sources afterwards that he shouldn’t have done it. but a break is exactly what he needs right now : a break from gallagher, a break from his family. maybe even a break from the two of them, if he’s thinking solely about necessity, because tommy knows it’s only going to take time and distance between them for him to fully move on from her. if even that. “ there’s worse places to take a break in than switzerland, i suppose, ” he smiles thinly. tommy will never hold as much fondness towards switzerland as he does the last country he tried to escape in, but it can certainly try to change his mind. there’s no longer any hesitance between the two of them, not for months now, so tommy’s hands on her are strong, a steady presence as he leads them dancing in the grass. the way their eyes don’t stray from each other’s once is an intimacy he’s been craving between them, and if it’s going to be their last night together for the foreseeable future, he’ll lap up every moment of it like a thirsty man finally given water. “ i should feel lucky, then. ” he knows what her relationship is to dance -- not how it is now, maybe, but how important it used to be. there’s a reason he had gotten so good at dancing, and it’s not just because of the unit he had to take on it in prep school. “ it’s been awhile since i had a good partner, ” his eyes sparkle, and he pulls her away just long enough to give her a little twirl, before his arm is wrapping around her waist, tugging her a little closer. a fond smile flickers on his lips as he’s reminded of the first time he had ever taken her dancing, far more crowded and music much louder than tonight, but even then he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off her. he almost mentions it too, but tommy wants this moment to live on its own, tired of feeling like their past has to define them.

#me writing this with tears in my eyes from luca still #but the italian feels be there today #tommy ; stella #time to use a barely relevant gif

sylphidstella:

Stella perks at his news, half because it sounds like good news, and half because he’s chosen to tell it to her. It’s a shift in dynamic she recognizes from other relationships this semester, the act of updating. It’s one thing to merely tell something lodged within a moment in time, and another entirely to update them on it, the different between talking about the past and talking about the future. “That’s good news, Tommy.” She smiles, but his sentence after makes her wonder if it only sounds good on paper. “You make a strong case.” She nods, she doesn’t love that he’s not happy about it. “You can’t change the past. But if there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that you also can’t rush healing.” This whole year has been about healing. “You don’t have to be upset or happy so long as you, well… just take your time.” She says with quiet care, a light suggestion she’s lived through. Past and present are both mistresses of time, best to love them slowly. Stella’s lips press together when she smiles, and she nods instead of words, unable to find any that match what she’s feeling. Leaving suddenly feels incendiary, and she hopes their parting doesn’t blow up all of their progress. She’s felt the confliction of knowingly putting distance between them their whole walk but she’s also recognized the truth, that even apart they are always together, somewhere beyond the explicable. Even if they don’t speak for a long while, they’ll still have each other to some capacity. “I’ll always be here.” She finally adds coolly, as if it’s a much tamer promise than it is. Stella laughs, shaking her head at him. “No, boring is boring. Deliberate is…thoughtful.” She says with a tip of her head, just shy of mocking him. She only watches him slowly, eyes following him as he sets the glasses down and turns back to her, settling her gaze on his hand before shifting back to his face. “Deliberate.” She notes the way he’d taken their glasses. It doesn’t stop the smile she puckers; it doesn’t stop her outstretched arm reaching for his, her hand resting in his palm like a puzzle piece. “Don’t let me lead.”

YOU CAN’T RUSH HEALING. it’s simple advice -- generic, really -- but tommy knows that when stella says it, it comes from a place of experience, and he doesn’t take that experience lightly. his father had kept things from him about the severity of his work, just as tommy had kept things from stella because of the severity of his future. in both instances, robert and thomas black had both chosen to let the love for their family lead the decisions they made, however poor it is. it’s not that tommy doesn’t understand why his father had done it, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be able to look at him the same when he’s back in london, which hurts the prodigal son more than he'd ever admit. taking his time is sound advice, all things considered, and the smile he offers stella is nothing short of gracious. “ it’s part of the reason i had looked for an internship elsewhere this summer, ” he admits, another first he’s saying aloud. thomas black isn’t the type to run from things anymore, but maybe old habits die hard. “ but thank you. it’s only a week at home, i should be alright. part of me is hoping things will feel more normal than i expect. ” surely she must understand that sentiment. her telling him she’ll always be there is just a reiteration of their shred words moments before, but it does make the corner of his mouth twitch into a smile. “ thoughtful, ” he echoes, using a tone that is also a little mocking, but all in good fun. “ i suppose i can settle for that. ” lately his thoughts have been full of her, so she’s not entirely wrong. her callout makes him laugh for a moment, because tommy will admit he had only taken the glass from her to get one thing out of it, and that was the ability to tug her closer until there’s little space between them, his second hand resting right above the small of her back. “ you say that as if you don’t like leading. ” she certainly enjoys keeping him on his toes, one way or another. tommy thought it would be hard at first, ears craning to hear the music from the ballroom better, but it’s easy to fall into a rhythm of their own, as they’ve been doing this past year. it’s a beautiful night to be out here, the soft chirp of crickets and the occasional lightning bug out of the corner of his eye, but everything fades into the background as his eyes don’t stray from her. “ how much do you still dance ? ” he asks her, because he had forgotten how mediocre his moves felt in comparison to hers, although the swaying of their bodies right now don’t give either of them enough credit.

#tommy ; stella #its that time of the night when i write too much so excuse me

sylphidstella:

Good. A simple word that’s never felt so all encompassing. Normally it would feel like a weak descriptor when Stella’s feelings have hit a range over the year that far surpasses anything she thought her heart capable of. And yet, dumbfounded at the sheer simplicity of this exchange, hazy headed by the correctness of it, good has never felt so understanding. “Good.” She re-gifts, pursed lips taming a smile at the way he bows a little closer to her. It feels almost like nothing has happened between them but not quite, like everything has happened between them and somehow they could share a moment like this that feels like some things are still the same. At the corner where they connect their faces are always recognizable. Stella laughs, “Don’t think so little of your impact.” She teases genuinely, assuming even a man as traditional and stubborn as Vito felt Tommy’s absence. She can’t imagine anyone wouldn’t if he were to ever leave, and she realizes she ought to start prepping for the return of that feeling in the coming weeks. She should start prepping for a goodbye. He keeps dropping Charlie’s name and she’s not blind to it, and out of wanting to keep their final private moment tender, she won’t say anything poor about it. Literally, she won’t say anything about it at all. “I’m sure they’re happy to see you. It was an inevitable conversation either way. That simply isn’t the kind of thing you only speak about once, and then never again.” She says this hoping it’s also not something Tommy lets go of so easily for the sake of keeping the balance in his family. He deserves to talk about it more, should he need to. “But I am proud of you, for not avoiding them.” She smiles, she knows she hasn’t been as brave. Dropping her head back slightly with a faint laugh, she feels the slip of his hand from hers and stretches her fingers out, like she might catch it before it’s gone too far. “I did not say that.” She grins, finishing her wine at his gesture and passing her glass. “I think you tend to be more…deliberate. Though, feel free to debate.” She teases. Standing in place she looks down to pat her dress with both hands, as if making sure she’s presentable when there doesn’t seem to be anyone else around.

FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE TALKING TO HER TONIGHT, tommy feels a surprising squeeze of his heart in a melancholy way, when she tells him not to think so little of his impact. it’s a comment he’d normally be able to move past fairly easily, because they’re not strangers to dancing around the subject of the past. but right now the past feels very present, because they’re about to repeat history -- well, in a way. this time they can say goodbye, but it doesn’t make everything suddenly easy. “ my dad and i talked about everything weeks ago, and i forgave him, ” he tells her, because it’s not something he’s shared with her since, and after their conversation in her dorm he almost owes her that. “ honestly, it’s easier to move past it than anything. i’m not happy about it, but... you can’t change the past. ” he’s not sure what else there is to say about it, honestly ; grudges are so tiring to hold, and tommy can only take his father off his pedestal for so long. all tommy can do is choose to take a path different than his father’s, and hope that somehow makes a difference in the world. “ i appreciate that, ” he says, a small smile on his lips. “ would’ve been a lot harder if you hadn’t talked me off a ledge, so... thank you, for being here. ” it’s going to be a painful adjustment losing her all over again, even if now he can pick up a phone and call her any time he’d like. it’s going to be hard steering himself away from italy during his travels this summer, but tommy can only remind himself that some distance might be what’s best for them. --- tomorrow, at least. tonight is another story. “ deliberate sounds an awful lot like boring, ” he laughs, although he doesn’t mind, because tommy’s the type of person who knows who he is, or at least he’d like to think so. he certainly feels less boring with stella, like he’s transported back in time to when he never thought about repercussions ( well, for the most part ) . both wine glasses in his hand, tommy sets them down on a nearby bench, before reaching his hand out towards her. there’s far enough away from the party where the music is only a soft hum of a melody, but he’ll pretend it’s loud as ever when he says : “ dance with me. ”

#thank you jfc #tommy ; stella #:)

mairxs:

“Good.” Since she has definitely spoken to them about Tommy which is the one thing she’ll omit. “I think I can manage to spend a dollar or two on a keychain or something.” Maire laughs softly, maybe it was something that she was already thinking about doing though there were way too many things going on through her mind. “You’ll have to come see me anyway, though, you know so we can do a take two of the portrait.” When she’s got a degree in art and everything.

“ THAT’S WHAT MY FRIENDSHIP IS WORTH TO YOU ? two dollars ? ” he asks playfully. tommy doesn’t particularly mind -- most souvenirs people that people gift each other is just junk that gets thrown out. at least a keychain is something useful. “ i’m definitely coming to visit. amsterdam is one of my favorite cities, ” he tells her, though he had told her that back on valentine’s day. “ i suppose i could sit for you again, if there’s pie again. i imagine you’ll need some practice, before you get back into the art world. ” teasing, of course ; he already knows maire is talented.

#tommy ; maire

chrlseatn:

“ that’s so weird. it’s like if i went on a date with … i don’t know, martina, or something. ” although cousins would probably be a little worse than best friends, charlie still can’t imagine being with someone so close to an ex. but he doesn’t mean to judge tommy ! he just finds the situation interesting. he’s very excited to meet nur for obvious reasons. “ i said it was nearly an argument, and … it’s complicated. you wouldn’t understand. ” it’s a history lesson charlie isn’t sure he’s equipped to teach — he doesn’t know what his brother would even think, learning how long they stayed in correspondence without him ever knowing. he gives tommy a side eye. “ i know she’s lovely, i don’t need you to tell me she’s lovely. ” pardon charlie for getting a tad defensive, but he’s insulted tommy thinks he needs someone to point that out to him. this entire conversation is just very uncomfortable for him ! “ it’s just … she’s my friend. she doesn’t see me like that. ” or at least, he never thought about her seeing him like that. he thinks it’d be impossible — she knows too much. anyone who’s seen that much should surely be scared away.

“ MARTINA IS STELLA’S BEST FRIEND, ” tommy wastes no time feeding THAT piece of information to his brother, “ so maybe think twice before dating her. and that’s different. ” there’s definitely a difference between dating two people who share blood, and two who... don’t. though in charlie’s defense, nur and fallon were probably close enough to be sisters. but he’s known fallon forever, and they had been friends for a long time before dating and deciding they weren’t right together. on the other hand, he’d never date stella’s best friend, and not just because she doesn’t like him. “ you could just tell me, but that’s fine, ” he says, in a tone that implies it’s not REALLY fine, but he doesn’t want to argue with charlie tonight. but it is very annoying to be told he wouldn’t understand, when tommy thinks he’s been nothing but understanding towards his brother this entire year ( which hasn’t been easy to do, for the record ) . he had expected some kind of reaction from him calling anya lovely, so tommy smirks a little in satisfaction. “ do you see her like that ? ” first sloane, now anya --- perhaps charlie has a type.

#martina of all people FDGYFDF #tommy ; charles #so much name dropping in this reply #you saw nothing

nuvcns:

“ 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 . but the drama is unsuspecting . and it’s not like you’re self-aware about it , ” she playfully teases . “ yeah , we do it every year . get together , travel somewhere . ” speaking about it makes her realize how much she misses them . “ oh congrats on your internship . i’m sure you’ll do VERY well in geneva . but yeah maybe we’ll cross paths . or at the very least , i have a feeling i’ll spend a couple nights in geneva . ” brings the glass up to her lips to take a sip . she’s caught off guard at his question . and for a moment , lari contemplates whether or not to tell him . in the end , she doesn’t want to lie to him . she knows it’s an answer he doesn’t want to hear . but they did talk about this a couple months back so tommy knows that there was a chance that she wouldn’t be returning . “ i won’t be coming back in the fall . i’ve renewed most of my certs so i’ll be back in paris in the fall . ”

“ YOU DON’T THINK I’M SELF-AWARE ? ” tommy laughs, though he’s a little insulted ! he likes to pride himself on being pretty self-aware, at least in comparison to his brother, which doesn’t mean much. “ where are you going this summer ? ” a bunch of pilots in the same room together sounds like a lot of personalities, most which tommy probably wouldn’t like. nothing against lari. “ yeah ? ” that makes him smile, the prospect of seeing her again -- especially when she tells him only moments later that it won’t be a sure thing after this moment. the smile on his face dims, but he tries to hold his disappointment. “ ah, well. i’m sorry to hear that, ” he admits, glancing down at his drink, “ but i’m sure it’s for the best, so good luck back in paris. it won’t be the same without you. ” he’s never known a gallagher experience without lari there.

#tommy ; lari

chrlseatn:

charlie’s rather certain he was never wrong about his perception of the color turquoise, but now a part of him won’t be able to rest until he sees the dress. he isn’t going to trust tommy’s judgement on it, because while it isn’t saying much, he does reckon he’s always had a slightly better sense of style than his brother. surely he’d be a more proper judge. he isn’t enough of a prat to mention that tommy looks like he went for both saint and sinner, but he surely thinks about it as he eyes his brother’s suit. “ she’s fallon’s best friend ?? i have a few choice words about this, and i don’t think you’ll like any of them. but good for you, i guess. ” charlie isn’t sober enough to comprehend the fact that tommy’s ex would be okay with him going on a date with her best friend. it just sounds messy. “ it doesn’t matter, i’m just curious. if we’re going to be traveling with her, i should probably know the whole story. ” in other words, charlie is nosy. “ no one knows who i’m talking about, tommy. it’s fine. ” he rolls his eyes at his brother, because he doesn’t know what else he’d call her. he doesn’t even know that it matters, to have a proper title. using a word with less bite wouldn’t change the situation. he just thinks he’ll have to live with it, hoping there’s no future birthday parties they’ll have to be at together, or worse … a wedding, if tommy and stella ever decide to kiss and make up. the thought nearly makes him ill. “ yes, tommy ! we nearly got into an argument about it, when she told me … though that sounds a lot worse than it actually was. it was my fault, really. ” he’s rambling a bit, having never reflected on any conversation he’s had with anya out loud. those moments are typically reserved for quiet nights, or the other end of a lead pencil. his brother’s next question makes charlie choke on his drink a little, letting out a small cough before looking to tommy with raised brows, “ excuse me ? no ! blimey, tommy. ” charlie feels like he’s literally going to die right now.

“ SAVE THEM, ” he rolls eyes, mostly because this entire conversation is tired. where was charlie a month ago when he had actually asked nur out ? “ you know fallon and i are friends, so it's not weird. i double checked with her before anything happened. ” except for him and nur making out in the astrology tower, but that one wasn’t on him. he’s not even sure what charlie is saying good for you about, because it’s very obvious it’s pretty clear that there’s nothing going on between him and nur anymore, but he’ll chalk it up to how much charlie’s had to bring tonight. “ it was just one date, ” he adds, since apparently charlie must know the whole story. “ why did you get into a fight about it ? ” if his brother can be nosy, then tommy can, too. it wouldn’t be the worst thing to try to understand his relationship with the casiraghi girl a little better, especially if she’s apparently charlie’s best friend. it’s hard to believe charlie when he says it was his fault, because he’s always the one that’ll take the blame. “ what ? it’s a valid question. she’s very lovely. ” from the way his brother chokes on his drink, tommy’s a little insulted on anya’s behalf. surely charlie could do a lot worse.

#tommy ; charles #this is a weak reply

sylphidstella:

Maybe that’s something that will be their always affliction: never feeling like they’ve had enough time. She’d felt that when he died, and it’s odd to feel a different shade of it now that he’s alive. She settles with this outcome being necessary, that more time might send them into another pit of pandemonium, why fantasize when she can enjoy the fleeting fulfillment of what’s happening right now. It’s easier to let go with him when she’s not sure if she’s letting go of him. Not to overthink the way their hands are locked, or the way the moon casts over his cheek bones. So she keeps her smile soft, even when her heart sighs at the reiteration that her opinion means anything to him. Her expression only twitches at the pull on her hand, lightly requesting her body to halt across from his, and she keeps her eyes on his face. She hadn’t considered the distance between his internship and Italy until he reiterates it, and she doesn’t know what to make of the feeling bubbling in her stomach. It was easier not to think about things when they felt bound by Gallagher, when their comments about always being there for each other felt true but not solid. “I know, Tommy.” Her voice is soft and firm. She doesn’t know if he’ll be the one she reaches out to first, but she imagines he’ll be the one she’ll reach out to at her worst. His words ring in her head. Let me be here. He’s been telling her that in his own various ways for months and she’s finally ready to allow it. “And…maybe I don’t need it,” she repeats him, squeezing his hand “but I want it.”

Stella laughs lightly, taking the opportunity to lose his gaze for a few seconds. “We can both agree to pardon our biases. Our little secret.” She suggests. Toward Italy. Toward each other. Like they’re making a pact to agree Italy is a place they’ll always go back to metaphorically, no matter where they are. She’ll go back and pass Vito’s and think of him and maybe one day he’ll have a coffee in La Pergola and not bother to reach out to her. Maybe she’ll be somewhere else entirely. She doesn’t know if they’ll ever be able to visit together, not with their biases. She brings her wine to her lips to drown the wondering, wishing she had somewhere to drop off her near empty glass. “I will.” She laughs, but she means it. “Though I can’t imagine Vito’s all that happy, having to hire new staff on such short notice.” She teases without thinking once about how crazy it is to be able to tease about this, about what happened between them. “Oh, are you excited to see them?” The last time they spoke about his parents he was having a life crisis. The mention of Charlie makes her swallow and nod, not considering he wouldn’t be traveling alone. “Traveling is always more fun with company.” At least it’s his brother, and not someone else. “Spontaneous?” Some of her previous levity returns, a smile forming; that’s not exactly his brand. “Sounds like trouble.” The sweetness in her voice doesn’t quite match her words, more amused and fond at trying to imagine what that means for him.

THEY’VE TALKED ABOUT WHAT LIFE OUTSIDE OF GALLAGHER LOOKS LIKE FOR THEM BOTH : her with the family and husband she ran away from, and him with his father who kept a major secret from him for years. they both come from two very different worlds, so it’s not a surprise that despite all their talk, the conversation had never skewed once on whether they fit in each other’s lives outside of the school. there are some friendships from gallagher that won’t hold up past the walls of the academy, relationships built on shared classes and convenience. even some family friends who he’s known his entire life will slowly fade out of it, something that is inevitable without distance and time on your side. him and stella could very easily leave this night and decide to part ways as exes on good terms, and tommy could use that distance to mend his heart back to something close to what it had looked like before estella manchesi had stepped foot in gallagher academy in the beginning of the year. but to ignore the connection between them would mean giving up something tommy’s not yet ready to let go of, something he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to. he can’t even let go of her hand right now, not even when he takes a step closer towards her, neck craning down a bit to meet her eye. he’s not sure what he would’ve done if she didn’t accept his offer, but he feels the soft squeeze of her hand ricochet across his body, warming his blood. with a small smile, tommy bows his head in a small nod. “ good. ”

he keeps the closeness between them because he’s grown accustomed to it over the weeks, likes being close enough to notice her eyelashes flutter in the moonlight. “ deal. ” there’s a smile on his lips as he says it, amused at the thought of a secret shared between them, after so many secrets had been poisonous to them over the years. he could point out he had told vito he was leaving, but doesn’t like what that implies -- that tommy had decided which goodbyes he could handle, and which he couldn’t. “ he never liked having an englishman working for him. i’m sure he’s fine, ” he says fondly. it was no secret that vito referred to him as l’uomo inglese for the first three months he had worked in the restaurant, expecting that tommy would never last. it ended up being something the two could laugh about, vito and his wife allegra becoming the closest thing to parents he had while in italy. “ i am, ” tommy nods, thinking about his own parents. “ i wish i didn’t have to go all the way back to london just to see them for a week, but it’ll be nice to be home. charlie hasn’t talked to our dad yet, about all the stuff written about him in the book, so i’m not looking forward to that conversation. ” even if it doesn’t exactly concern him, anything involving charlie concerns him. he’s testing the waters of talking about his brother with her, because if they’re going to stay in each other’s lives, tommy doesn’t want to have to shield one important part of his life from her. “ do you think i can’t be spontaneous ? ” he laughs, then finishes the rest of his wine. then he finally releases her hand so he can stretch it out, motioning for her to pass him her nearly empty wine glass.

#ive definitely given you 5 words of dialogue and the 2 paragraphs of prose before #so never apologize for giving me nothing #every time you use this gif that shows off how short she is i cackle #tommy ; stella #alright this did not need to be this long so pls cut it #this is why i cant do replies at 2am i write too much for nothing

chrlseatn:

“ mine for sure, ” he nods sardonically, a testament to the woes of being charlie eaton. “ sorry, i didn’t realize you were so advanced in color theory. she could be going for both. how well do you know her, again ? ” he thinks it’s worth asking, though he’s mostly just being a dick. “ i’m not exactly happy, but it’s hard not to feel a little relieved. i mean, you imagine it. your brother’s in love with your enemy, your cousin’s closer with your enemy, your best friend’s best friend is your enemy. should i keep going ? ” he realizes the term is highly dramatic — he’s never once loathed stella, regardless of how his actions may portray it. he’s fascinated by her in pure honesty, and there’s the thought that if so many people in his life get along with her, surely he would have too. having so many people he cares for rave about her presence … it feels like some big secret he’ll never be let in on. there’s shame in never getting the chance to know what he’s missed. to show himself as the person everyone tells him he is. but in stella manchesi’s world, he’ll forever be the boy who waged the end of a world, and in charlie’s, she’ll be another open ended regret — something he’ll never forget. and though the price of walking cautiously around these halls is hardly anything compared to what he’s put her through, he won’t act like her leaving isn’t a giant sigh of relief, straight from his chest. he shakes his head, “ she’ll be fine. anya’s seen enough of me to last her a lifetime. you don’t even know. ” he really doesn’t.

TOMMY ROLLS HIS EYES, because of course charlie would let himself be the victim. “ it’s common sense to know what the color turquoise is. she’s definitely not. ” he suddenly doesn’t want to talk about nur anymore, and is beginning to second guess the two brothers spending time with her in turkey, if charlie’s going to be like this. “ she’s fallon’s best friend. ” who can forget tommy’s model ex-girlfriend ? “ but we’re friendly. we’re friends, ” he corrects. “ why does that matter ? ” there’s something about the word ENEMY that rubs tommy the wrong way, as if stella’s the one that screwed charlie over. “ stop that. ” guess who doesn’t like hearing about his own feelings out loud, for anyone to overhear them ? “ don’t be dramatic, she’s not your bloody enemy. ” charlie might be her enemy, but that’s a fact he’ll choose to ignore. “ are her and anya really that close ? ” somehow they’ve cycled back to the beginning of their conversation. his eyes glance over to where the girls had once been, but now they’re out of sight. it’s funny that tommy is surprised at anya and stella’s friendship, when not too long ago it had been anya and charlie’s friendship that had surprised him. why charlie had wanted to be associated with any of the casiraghis had been beyond him, but it’s impossible to deny that anya is good for him -- and when charlie enjoys so little that’s actually GOOD for him, tommy knows not to question it. the friendship is still no to him though, so he’ll have to trust charlie when he says it, not really sure what he means. he squints a little at his brother. “ have you and anya ever... ? ” he’ll be a gentleman and not finish that sentence.

#personally i could keep this going forever #but also this wont be the last thread so shush!!!!#tommy ; charles #ur reply was just charstella fan service and i love it here #and me turning this to chanya fan service

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