where is my mind

A normal young man with a not so normal past with an even more abnormal secret. "I become insane with long intervals of horrible sanity"

[rosa--m]

Chris, Rosa, & Christina Rose

[brokenbonesandmuddyshoes-blog]

Visit Original Link

Baby if you could would you go back to the start?

Take any fresh steps, or watch it all fall apart again?

[aaronjohnsondaily]

[rosa--m]

A Little Life || Chris & Rosa

[rosa--m]

Chris…sweet Chris. That baby voice, kind face and expressive eyes that always brought a smile to Rosa’s face was back again. He’d seemed so much more mature and happier than the last time they’d seen each other. It tugged at her heart strings, because she knew that the life he was living was the one he was meant to have. She’d regrettably lost contact with him, yes, but she never stopped wanting the best for him, and now he seemed to have it. No one deserved it more, but in the same breath, he heart sank knowing that there was something she would have to keep from him. Chris was a good man, and she knew that he would step up to the plate of his responsibility, but he wasn’t technically responsible for her condition. She sighed heavily, forcing a smile back on her face as she shook her head. “Look at you… You’ve become this…man. You’re all grown up and professional now… I can’t even begin to tell you how happy for you I am.” She said, patting his knee with pride.  Her hands itched to play in his curls or reach out and hug him — something affectionate and familiar, but she knew doing so would only complicate things more for him and hurt her all the while.

Rubbing her stomach, Rosa smiled. She was doing her best to be a good mom, honestly, but she knew nothing about being a mom, let alone raising a child alone. She loved her baby so much already, and wanted the best for the little boy or girl growing inside her, but did that love mean more or less than it did for her love of Christopher? She couldn’t tell. The burden of ruining a life she cared for was heavy on her shoulders as she forced the smile out again. “I…I hope so. I’m doing my best, but I don’t think anyone’s really ready for a baby the first time around.” she said with a weak laugh. “I’ve pretty much just been doing this, you know?” she laughed again, pointing to her stomach. “It’s a full-time job. Life’s been pretty much morning sickness and cravings for me. Nothing too exciting. Honestly, going out for a walk today and meeting you again…it’s the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in months.”

[christopher-traveller]

Chris listened to Rosa with rapt attention. Hearing her soft, gentle voice again made it feel as though no time had passed since they'd last seen each other, when in reality it had been a long, long while. Too long. Chris looked down at her hand as she patted his knee and felt the indescribable urge to take her hand in his and give it a soft squeeze, just to show his appreciation for her kind words, and to give her some reassurance back, but before he could, Rosa's hand had moved back to rub her swollen stomach. He let out a quiet chuckle, before glancing up at her again. "Well, I had to become a man sometime right? I'd been putting it off for too long," he said through a small grin. If he thought about it, yes, he was a man now; he'd done a lot of growing up in the past year or so, but did he feel any different? He wasn't sure. He still felt young at times, but he supposed that was all part of growing up, and he could only guess that Rosa felt the same. Even more so, most probably.

"You'll be a natural, Rosa, I know it," Chris said assuredly, not missing her slight hesitation. How could she not be? Rosa was the warmest, sweetest, most kind person Chris had ever met and her child would be lucky to have Rosa as a mother. He smiled, albeit, a little sadly as Rosa told him what she'd been up to. Naturally, being pregnant there couldn't be an awful lot one could do, and Chris felt his smile waver again; he could appreciate that Rosa was most definitely a strong, charismatic woman, but parenthood was different. He so desperately wanted to know if Rosa had anyone to help her with things and, though not admittedly, he was quite curious whether she was in any sort of relationship also. He'd always felt a little protective of her, for one reason or another... 

"Well, what do you say we make this day more exciting?" he said, smiling at her. "We could go for a lunch together if you'd feel up to it? Just to... y'know, catch up some more. Unless you need to get back for- anything." He'd given the smallest of hesitations before 'anything', having been about to say 'anyone' instead, though he was unsure if Rosa had noticed it. 

[rosa--m]

A Little Life || Chris & Rosa

[rosa--m]

Her thoughts had gotten the best of her, and Rosa has sat daydreaming and lost in thought when the sound of her name being called in a familiar accent made her eyes flutter open. “…Christopher…”  she breathed. Her voice didn’t even sound like her own to her. It was possibly the absent minded daydream that had her thinking that he wasn’t real, but he spoke again, making her eyes widen in shock and her cheeks fluster into a faint blush. “I… What are you doing here? This is… I thought you were in Washington…?” Her words seemed to trip over themselves. Rosa is in total shock at seeing him here, when she thought she never would again. Her initial reaction would have been to run and hug him, but in recent months, she’d leaned to control her enthusiasm because….

The baby. She’d actually forgotten in those few moments, and suddenly she felt embarrassed. The last time he’d scene her she had been fit and beautiful, Now she was noticeably pregnant, and chubby in the face from it, but more than that, the child she was carrying belonged to Christopher. She never thought that she would see him again, so naturally she hadn’t planned a way to tell him that he was going to be a father. She frowned a bit, lowering her gaze to look at her stomach and rub her hand over in sadly. Every child deserves a father, and what kind of person did it make her to keep it from him that he had a child? But she had prepared herself to be a single mother and not burden Chris with this. Still, seeing him made her heart ached. She had loved him, there was no doubt, and while she was saddened to see him leave, she knew that he was destined for great things, and she would never be the type to hold him back. With a heavy sigh, she looked up again and smiled lightly. “I guess this is kind of a surprise, huh?” she said, rubbing her swollen stomach more. He was a good man; he probably thought that Rosa had found someone and gotten married, ready to settle down and start a family, but the lack of a ring on her finger and father-to-be by her side was something she was without, and the looks she got were enough to make her feel embarrassed.

"What are yo doing back out here?" she asked sweetly, moving aside to make room for him to sit.

[christopher-traveller]

Chris felt like he was dreaming. He hadn't thought he'd ever see Rosa again, a thought which had saddened him, but now here they were, back in the place they'd first met. He took a seat next to her gladly and laughed a little at her confusion, knowing it mirrored his own. Talk about fate. "I've moved around a bit since then, found a job, a small place to live. My work's brought me up this way actually," he explained, not going into too much detail about it. He didn't want to bore her and besides, he was sure Rosa would have much more interesting things to say, given her current situation. At her understated comment about her pregnancy being a surprise Chris could only grin at her. "Just a little bit," he chuckled. "I wasn't expecting to run into you at all, let alone two of you." He glanced down at her stomach before glancing at her ring finger on her left hand out of curiosity before looking away guiltily after finding it bare. It wasn't his business to know if she was married or not. Not that he'd judge her if she wasn't, he just wanted to know Rosa was happy, safe, secure. He'd grown up without a father and he'd seen the strain of what single parenting could do from his own mother. 

"What's been going on with you anyway? You know, besides the obvious," he nodded at her stomach, grinning. He was genuinely curious; after all she'd been his best friend, more than that his lover, though... admittedly not with Chris. He tried to push that thought away. Anyway, the last he'd heard, Rosa had wanted to go into sports and athletics, the Olympics even. She'd definitely had the potential. But he could see she was serious about this child too; it looked like the pregnancy was taking it out of her, which it would do if she was coping on her own, and her cheeks looked a little fuller than they had before, but Chris found it suited her. She still looked positively stunning. "You'll make a wonderful mother," he said mindlessly, the words coming out before he'd even thought about it.

[theodorekinsley]

[rosa--m]

[ledgerndary]

[hipstermenlover]

Aaron Johnson

[rosa--m]

A Little Life || Chris & Rosa

It had been a weird seven months for Rosa. While she’d been going though her life as usual, there was one thing that was very different from the way she’d spent the last twenty-three years: Rosa was pregnant. It had come as a shock to her too when she found out, but it was a fact. Things were hard on her as she struggled to adjust to what her life was now, and though her mother and friends were there to support, things weren’t perfect. Rosa’s father — her best friend — had not been happy with the news. He’d had high expectations for his daughter all his life, and getting knocked up was not on the list of things he wanted for her. The fact that she wasn’t having a baby when she was older and done with her career and married was hard for him to accept, but Rosa had already made up her mind to keep the child. It had put a strain on things between them, but Rosa was coping.

Her mother had been her rock and support, but she too, had her own fears and worries. “A child needs a father.” she said to Rosa over and over in the past few months, but Rosa hadn’t been able to give up a name for anyone, though she knew whose it was: Christopher. She’d been only him, and in the time frame given since their last encounter before he ultimately left, Rosa was sure that he was without a doubt the father. Though the pair had lost contact with each other, Rosa still knew where he was, but refused to call him. He was happy and safe, and Rosa cared about that and him enough to let him be. This wasn’t something that she really felt he would want or even be ready for, so she’d left herself in the hands of single-motherhood and called it a day.

The nights were long, the first few months hard, but Rosa loved her child and had grown used to how things were. She was fully prepared for how things were going to be after birth and wasn’t minding it so much now. As the day progressed on as it had been for a while now, Rosa managed to start off her morning with the usual shower and breakfast before heading out for fresh air and a walk. She was doing her best to stay active even while pregnant, and though she usually had a walking buddy, today she was on her own. She breezed through the park as the sun was shining down on her and hummed along to her iPod as she kept her pace baby-friendly. Still, the water she carried wasn’t doing well to keep her hydrated it the heat, and Rosa soon found herself feeling dizzy from the movement. Finding a bench close by, she followed her doctor’s orders and sat down, resting and breathing as she closed her eyes and sipped her water.

[christopher-traveller]

Christopher's job had taken him outside of his hometown, and not for the first time, although it was the first time he'd been sent to New York. He found he quite liked being given appointments and assignments outside of where he was used to; it was refreshing. Unlike his other trips away however, this one was less to do with a clientele issue and more about improvement and gaining broader experiences for himself. He'd be shadowing several renowned psychotherapists, visiting several different clinics and getting to attend several lectures and seminars on the issue of mental health, and Chris was excited to say the least.

Before his first day however, he'd decided to take a walk around New York and refamiliarize himself with the place. He'd been here a good number of months ago, having lived in the city for a couple of months, during which time he'd met some wonderful people. He smiled fondly at the memories as he strolled into the local park, hands deep in his jean pockets, the gentle breeze ruffling his hair slightly. His hair was a lot shorter nowadays but it was still long enough to look messy if the wind got to it. It was a lovely day though, and he felt like nothing could ruin his good mood. Not ten minutes into his walk, he found himself squinting up ahead after spotting a somewhat familiar figure sitting on a bench. It looked like... but it couldn't be... besides, she was pregnant... Was it...? Stepping closer to the bench he couldn't contain his grin when he realized it was who he thought it was. "Rosa?" he said, disbelief evident in his voice. He hadn't seen her for a good number of months, since he was living up here, but the two had lost contact, both being incredibly busy with their own lives. Something Chris deeply regretted. Upon seeing Rosa though, and as his own eyes met her own deep brown ones, he felt something in the back of his mind stir. It was an uncomfortable sort of feeling but he surpressed it, too amazed by the fact that he'd run into one of his best friends. In fact, he supposed his only best friend. "I...I can't believe it's you," he breathed, laughing quietly, eyes bright at the sight of her. She'll make a fantastic mother, he thought absentmindedly with a smile as his eyes glanced down to her stomach once again.

[celebritiesandmovies]

[arabellecrane-archive]

[christopher-traveller]

34/∞ photos of aaron perry johnson

[cheertheeffup]

Where is my mind?

[christraveller]

Friends | Rosa&Topher

[rosa--m]

Nothing about what was happening in this room was familiar to Rosa. Topher’s presence was so dominant and in power — something she’d never once experienced. Rosa was so used to men who were too intimidated by her to make moves like this, yet as he ordered, Rosa found herself complying, Staying still as a puppet for Topher to move at will. She’d felt so virginal being bare before him; her tan skin was probably catching a pink tint as her chest heaved, watching him watch her without shame or caution and making her feel pleasantly objectified. It was actually a surprising turn on. Her breath caught in her throat at his touch, nodding silently at his order and trembling slightly with anticipation.  When he spread he legs, Rosa gasped. No one had been this way with her before, and the fact that she liked it was making her flush even more. The idea of Topher having his way with her made her slick between her legs — a feeling that would normally cause her to clamp them shut, but as willed them to be open, so they stayed no matter what her normal reactions would be.

Nice was an understatement for the way his lips and teeth felt on her skin. It caused he to suck in a short breath, biting down on her lip but not being able to hold in the light moan that came from his touches. She also couldn’t fight back a small giggle at him fumbling with her bra, but the moment was temporary as her being even more  exposed to her now had her skin burning hot. He back arched as Topher kissed down her torso and touched her with a mix or tenderness and needing that had her breathlessly moaning as he kept he pinned down. It was a shock, almost; from what she’d seen of Topher with other people, he’d been dominant and rough, something she’s never had, but went into this expecting it. Still his touches were slow and tortuously pleasurable as her hips raised off the bed in her arching, a moan falling from her lips as he moved lower.

Rosa’s ragged breathing was almost embarrassing to her. No one had ever invoked such a reaction from her, that as Topher made work to remove her panties, she gasped again, feeling hot, bare and exposed, knowing now for the first time what it felt like to actually have someone else claim her body. Her hands moved for the first time in what felt like ages to grip the pillow under her head, her eyes looking down at him as she panted, finding him looking up at her for the first time and making her blush deeply, face hot as she bit her lip and looked away. She had to admit that the feeling of being helpless yet control was working for her, but was quickly ripped from her own thoughts as she felt Topher’s lips between her legs, making her moan out and tremble beneath him. “Topher!”

[christopher-traveller]

Everything about Rosa confused Topher; the way she'd let out a giggle while he struggled to take off her bra made him frown with confusion but he found he liked the sound; it wasn't something he usually heard while fucking. But then similarly, not everything was new to him; her moans and breaths and blushes screamed of submission, something Topher was very familiar with and he got even more invested in what he was doing. He nipped softly at her clit while his lips sucked on the area around it; she was already wet which made him even more ravenous for her body, but only when she moaned his name did he really struggle to maintain control. A low, deep moan, almost a growl, reverberated it's way up his throat, starting from the ache in his cock where his lust for Rosa started. He flung her legs over his shoulders suddenly, holding her thighs as he continued to eat her out; absolutely nothing else was on his mind apart from tasting her, making her tremble and moan and come. He slowly started pushing his tongue into her pussy, lapping up her juices as he did, the same moan pushing past his lips every now and then. His eyes were fixed on Rosa's face, unable to quite make eye contact at the way she'd turned her head away but that only made him grin a little, the gesture incredibly submissive and shy. 

Being fairly well trained at self control, he could quite easily put the thought of his own pleasure out of his mind but that was proving difficult now. He desperately wanted to be inside of Rosa, yet still somehow his want to pleasure her and watch her come because of him was more than his need for pleasure. So after rubbing himself through his pants a little to relieve the friction, he pulled his face back an inch or so and brought his hand up to push a finger into her, curling it up and wasting no time in pumping it in and out of her, still watching her body for all of her beautiful reactions, the way her stomach tightened when he nipped her clit gently, the way her thighs trembled, her cheeks flushed, the way her hands gripped the pillow. Everything.

[tanghulus]

[christraveller]

Friends | Rosa&Topher

[rosamontgomery-blog]

Rosa was doing everything on impulse - it was just what she was used to. It hadn’t registered to her yet that Topher was used to something different. She wanted to touch him, she simply liked the physical attention. It only clicked for her when he grabbed her wrists. It didn’t hurt, but it was a reminder of who she was with, which she needed. Still, it was only as his hands tangled in her hair that her arms fell to her sides with a soft gasp. The feeling of his lips on her tender skin made her shiver a bit, and she was not expecting the moan that escaped her lips when his teeth made contact. It made her skin heat up and her heart race. Any sexual experience she had before hadn’t had biting of any kind involved. Her eyes widened to look up and Topher just before he swept her off her feet with a gasp.

Rosa’s chest was heaving noticeably  suddenly feeling very bare in front of Topher as he placed her on the bed. Her body felt limp, helpless and unable to move. The most she could do was move the hair out of her face as she looked up at Topher hovering over her. She wet her lips, her hands back on the bed as she let him do what he wanted. She told herself to stay calm and let him do the work, even if she wasn’t used to it, but she was anticipating Topher’s touch so much that she panted simply by him undressing her. The look in his eyes turned her on as well. As naked as she felt, it wasn’t enough. She lifted her hips to make disrobing her easier for him before running her hand down her bare stomach and pausing close to her waist, looking at him anxiously. She felt a bit weak, but she didn’t mind it. If this was what he did to her now, she couldn’t help but be excited and nervous for what came next.

[christopher-traveller]

Topher's skin felt like it was on fire. Everything was electric and loud in his ears somehow, even though neither one of them were talking, as though each touch he gave to and received from Rosa was a spark of energy. After he had rid Rosa of her jeans so she was only in her underwear, he could only stare at her, eyes unashamedly roaming her body, fascinated by the way her delicate fingers trailed down her own softly toned stomach, making his pants a lot tighter. Part of him half hoped her hand would snake lower on herself, but a more dominant part of him wanted her pleasure to be just from him. At least for this first time. So, with a swift movement, he wrapped his slender fingers around her petite wrists and pinned them to the pillow beside her head. "Stay," he mumbled as he held her hands down before slowly letting go. Part of him ached for some rope or chains to tie them there; he had a feeling Rosa would look very beautiful tied up, but he also liked the idea of Rosa leaving her hands there of her own accord, because he had asked her to. 

Wanting to be able to touch as much of her as possible, he spread her legs, perhaps a little rougher than he had meant to, but he couldn't help it. In fact, he was somewhat confused at how well he had been holding back considering how much he wanted to ravage her. He knelt between her legs and leaned over her, short strands of his curly hair falling over his eyes, perhaps tickling her face, before he lowered himself to attach his lips to her neck, where he rested them for a while, not quite kissing, just pressing his mouth against her jugular, feeling her pulse beating gently against his lips. Gently, he grazed his teeth against her skin, reminding her of how much control he had, of how much control she was giving him. He went on to kiss her there, dampening the skin before he suckled on it hard, topping it off with a playful bite, leaving a pretty hickey for her. While his mouth was busy he crept his hands beneath her back, lifting her up a little to unlatch her bra, fumbling for a moment or so, growling at the nuisance it caused, though finally he managed. He pulled her arms through it and threw it off to the side carelessly, already taken in by her beautiful breasts.

Not quite able to look up at her face for some reason, he only went lower, and kissed his way across her chest, and down between the curves of her breasts, giving them a soft squeeze before he moved them down her body to hold her hips in a tight grip. Whatever it was that was causing him to act like this around her, where he wanted to appreciate, explore and touch her body rather than defile it for the sake of dominance and pleasure, was new to him. And though it scared him, he knew better than to ignore it. He had reached her belly now, where he placed another bite there, one hand going to move over her hip bone, across her abdomen and down to where her panties were. He'd never been with a woman so intimately before so he wasn't sure on the speed at which to go, though he certainly knew the technique; he'd been taught before at how to please women with his mouth, in the same way he'd get any cock hungry little slut to pleasure him with their mouth. For the first time in a while that evening he glanced up at her, wanting to see her expression, her flushed face. He wanted to see all her pleasure, so after sitting up again he started tugging her underwear down her hips, thighs and legs slowly, lifting her long legs up to help pull them off from around her feet before he spread her legs again to accommodate himself between them. He didn't waste time this time, he had teased her enough for now, he mused, so he attached his mouth to her clit, starting there before he explored any further. Letting his lips and tongue pleasure her on intuition, he raised his eyes up to look at her, the sight of her long, beautiful body spread out above him turning him on tenfold.

[coeur-d-obsessions]

Greg Williams is my new favourite person in this world