Just Chu Being Chu

Name's Chu and I'm here to blog! I'll share my daily life, my experiences and oh you'll probably see me venting around a little. God... Why trying to have a Tumblr aesthetic is so hard? My main acc is @shy-lee-chu and it's a sfw kink blog. Don't worry tho, this blog is about my daily life. Kink topics won't be discussed under any circumstances.

[thoughtstherapy]

Empathy Burnout Is A Real Thing | Follow us on YT

[ummmmmmm-username]

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others ❤️

Love you guys! 💖

[renonillustrary]

Ah, that explains it.

[sparklepops]

Well, that explains a lot.

[chu-be-chu]

Ouuu I hate myself so bad tonight...

[chu-be-chu]

Kendime o kadar tahammül edemiyorum ki bazen, baştan ayağa bütün benliğiimle iğreniyorum kendimden. Olduğum kişiden, yaptıklarımdan, yapacaklarımdan. O meşhur yıkılmışlık ve özgüvensizlik asla terk etmiyor bedenimi. Hep bi mahcubiyet, hep bir özgüvensizlik. Her şey benim suçummuş gibi hissediyorum. Yaşanan her şey benim yüzümdenmiş gibi. Asla sevilmeyecekmişim gibi hissediyorum. Sevilmeyi hak etmiyormuşum gibi. Oraya daha yolum var sanırım. Ben kendimi bulana kadar insanlardan bu yarım yamalak özneye değer vermelerini istemek acınası geliyor bana. Bencil hissediyorum. Korkuyorum. Bir gün kendi elimle kendi sonum olacağımı biliyorum. Ama bu ne zaman olacak onu bilmiyorum

Evet bugün kötü bir gün

[chu-be-chu]

Sen asla bilmeyeceksin belki ama, artık her bu şarkıyı duyuşumda daha fazla senin olmak isteyeceğim. Yüreğim kabaracak ve taşacak ama elimden hiçbir şey gelmeyecek. Ben bunu bile bile açtım sana kendimi. Hak ettim ben bu yanlızlığı ve sürekli başımı kurcalayan bu felaketi. O yüzden acımayın bana. Bırakın yansın yüreğim. O da yıllardır yanmayı beklermiş zaten tekrardan.

[chu-be-chu]

I really can't stop thinking about that night and how it changed my whole perspective. Maybe I just wanted to be his at that moment. Wishing for something almost impossible. Now it feels weird... I'm confused, thinking, ashamed, embarrassed. How the hell did I manage to get myself in this position.

[chu-be-chu]

Oh god my feet hurt so bad, have been doing chores all day

[chu-be-chu]

🩶🖤❤️

[chu-be-chu]

🌸 I guess my life wasn't that dream life I once thought I would have... Some people are just not going to be happy their whole lives and I hope I can come to terms with it one day

🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷

[chu-be-chu]

Turkish elections got me fucked up 🥹🫠🥴

[chu-be-chu]

Life hard

[chu-be-chu]

Crying myself to sleep every night till I have headaches and puffy eyes

[chu-be-chu]

[chu-be-chu]

This election keeps me awake at night

am scared for the same thing to happen again, lately the country has been in nothing but downfall and if that's not enough they're trying to make it worse for women and LGBTQ+ people I'm scared like I never been before... I want to graduate as a doctor and pack my bags and leave asap ✨

[chu-be-chu]

This song makes me feel like It's back in 2013 and it's summer. I love dancing to this~ Also love the queen vibes it gives. 💛🧡💚💙🧡💛💚💙

[chu-be-chu]

I hate and love so much that I, as a whole human being have always been this song with everything single lyric of it. Have always been trapped, I even felt every second of my existence my "vanishing" but somehow it now feels freeing to "know" at least that I vanished. And see why the original me left me a long time ago. This song explains a lot like an old supressed trauma memory crawling out from the depths of my brain in a therapy session...

🌸🌸🌸

Eve makes me cry...

[chu-be-chu]

[chu-be-chu]