JBB: An Artblog!
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almost home
Claire Keane
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
$LAYYYTER
oozey mess
shark vs the universe
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
wallacepolsom
Product Placement
dirt enthusiast
⁂
Kaledo Art
sheepfilms
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@chuckspeaks
Hello this is Chuck! I wanted to get into the Instagram craze a little bit so I thought I would blog about my food. Most people post about every single meal. Luckily I always eat the same thing so I only need to post once. I LOVE dry cereal for both breakfast and dinner!!! Here you can see my salmon flavored cereal and a big glass of water. It hits the spot for me. Perfectly plated on my plastic mat. Keeps me coming back for more! I would highly recommend.
Chuck decided to make his own rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but about the most famous dog in the world when it comes to financial advice, himself!
Buying versus Renting
Anonymous (via Tumblr in December 2014)
Big Chuck, I need some serious advice. I live in New York City, should I buy an apartment or should I keep renting. When do I know it is time to pull the trigger and get an apartment?
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Chuck December 31, 2014
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
BUYING VERSUS RENTING IS ALWAYS A FUNDAMENTAL FINANCIAL QUESTION, AND IT IS FUTHER MUDDIED BY THE WATERS THAT IS THE HIGH COST OF LIVING IN NEW YORK CITY (NORMALLY I LIKE MUDDIED WATER, BUT NOT IN THIS CASE!). THE IDEA OF BURYING YOUR MONEY LIKE A BONE IN THE BACKYARD BY PAYING RENT IS A TOUGH PILL TO SWALLOW FOR MOST, BUT RENTING CAN SOMETIMES BE ADVANTAGEOUS FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. IF YOU EXPECT TO BE SOMEWHERE FOR A LONGER PERIOD OF TIME THOUGH, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY RUN THE NUMBERS ON BUYING. AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU CAN DEDUCT INTEREST FROM YOUR TAXES, WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR YOUR BOTTOM LINE.
I WOULD RECOMMEND BUYING IN AN AREA WHERE YOU CAN BUILD A DOG HOUSE FOR YOUR VERSION OF MAN'S BEST FRIEND THOUGH. WHY ARE HUMANS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO HAVE THEIR OWN CASTLE?
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOMEDOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
OKAY I'LL GET OFF MY BUYING "SOAPBOX" NOW!
Putting a Ring on It
Anonymous (via Tumblr in November 2014)
Hi Chuck, I was wondering what your opinion of putting a ring on it is and how do you think it would affect my bottom line?
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Chuck December 31 2014
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
FROM A PURELY FINANCIAL SENSE, THERE CAN BE A HIGH RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI FOR THE FINANCIAL BIG DOGS OUT THERE) FOR BUYING A RING FOR A SIGNIFICANT OTHER. SURE, YOU NEED TO PUT OUT THE MONEY UPFRONT, BUT YOU COULD BE FORMING A LASTING PARTNERSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BRING ANOTHER INCOME STREAM INTO THE HOUSEHOLD AND MARRIAGE ALSO HOLDS A LOT OF TAX BENEFITS FOR YOUR BOTTOM LINE. THEREFORE, PUTTING A RING ON IT IS A GOOD LONG TERM INVESTMENT, AS LONG AS YOU DO YOUR DUE DILIGENCE AND RESEARCH UPFRONT.
MAKE SURE YOU CHOOSE A PARTNER YOU ALSO CAN LIVE WITH THOUGH. I SEE LOTS OF LOVELY FEMALES WITH NICE BUTTS AT THE DOG PARK AND IT'S NICE TO SNIFF THEM, BUT THEY WOULDN'T MAKE GOOD WIFE MATERIAL. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO PICK CORRECTLY OR YOU'LL END UP WITH AN OLD BALL AND CHAIN (BALLS AND CHAINS ARE STILL FUN TO CHASE OR PLAY TUG-OF-WAR WITH THOUGH)
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOMEDOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
I AM A KING WHO IS STILL LOOKING FOR MY QUEEN...
Favorite Inanimate Object
tumblrbot (via Tumblr in October 2014)
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
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HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
I AM MOST FOND OF MY MYRTLE THE TURTLE TOY (SEEN BELOW). I USED TO THINK HE WAS ALIVE BUT THEN I REALIZED HE WOULD ONLY MOVE WHEN MY DAD OR MOM WAS AROUND AND ANY TIME HE TALKED HE JUST ALWAYS SAID THE SAME WORD (SQUEAK!). I REALIZE IT WAS ALL A SHOW AND HE IS JUST A TAXIDERMIED TURTLE.
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOMEDOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
Curly Hair
Holly D******h Dec 3, 2014 at 7:20 PM
Dearest Charles,
I understand you are exceptional at giving profound advice.
My name is Jillian & I am 11 months old. I have been told I look very Irish & I would like the curly hair that goes along with some Irish girls. What I would like to know, would it be more economical to get a perm or drink copious amounts of wine & use the corks from said wine bottles to curl my hair? Would the time & effort pay off to keep drinking wine & curling my hair or would it be more economically sound to have my hair permed?
Thank you for taking the time to read this & I look forward to your swift response!
Jillian
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Chuck Dec 3, 2014 at 7:48 PM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
YOU SOUND VERY SMART FOR YOUR AGE SINCE YOU KNOW THAT I GIVE PROFOUND ADVICE! ARE YOU 11 MONTHS OLD IN NORMAL YEARS OR IN HUMAN-YEARS?
THERE IS A CHANCE YOU WILL END UP WITH NATURALLY CURLY HAIR. IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR PARENT'S ORIGIN. ARE EITHER OF YOUR PARENTS DESCENDANTS OF THE POODLE BY ANY CHANCE? IF SO, YOU WILL LIKELY GET CURLY HAIR NATURALLY JUST LIKE I DID!
IF YOU ARE INTENT ON FORCING YOUR HAIR TO BE CURLY, I WOULD RECOMMEND THE WINE APPROACH AS YOU CAN GET A GOOD BOTTLE OF WINE FOR $10 AND AT YOUR AGE YOU PROBABLY ONLY NEED ONE OR TWO CORKS TO CURL THE AMOUNT OF HAIR YOU HAVE. IF YOU NEED ANY HELP DRINKING THE WINE (AFTER YOU PURCHASE IT YOURSELF), LET ME KNOW AND I CAN HELP.
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO.
HERE I AM WITH A BOTTLE OF MY FINEST WHITE WINE.
Toilet Paper
Tracey O****i Aug 27, 2014 at 9:13 PM
Hi Chuck,
How do you know what brand of toilet paper is best? Do you chose based on quality or just based on price? What are the key factors in its effectiveness?
Mom
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Chuck Aug 29, 2014 at 8:33 AM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
IT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW EASY IT IS TO RIP IT UP. THE EASIER IT IS TO RIP UP INTO REALLY SMALL PIECES, THE MORE EFFECTIVE IT IS. THIS WORKS WELL BECAUSE THE EASIER ONES TO RIP ARE USUALLY CHEAPEST, WHICH HELPS YOUR BOTTOM LINE.
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
HERE I AM TESTING IT'S DURABILITY.
Punch
Andrew M******a Aug 27, 2014 at 2:19 PM
Hey Chuck! If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be?
Andrew
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Chuck Aug 29, 2014 at 8:34 AM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
WELL FOR ME IT'S VERY HARD TO PUNCH PEOPLE SINCE I DON'T HAVE A NORMAL THUMB. I PREFER TO BITE PEOPLE INSTEAD. I WOULD DEFINITELY BITE MICHAEL VICK BECAUSE HE MADE MY COUSINS FIGHT EACH OTHER AND DIDN'T EVEN GIVE THEM A CUT OF THE PROFITS FROM THE FIGHT, WHICH SEVERELY HURT THEIR BOTTOM LINES, ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL OF THEIR MEDICAL BILLS!
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
I WOULD LIKE TO PUNCH WHOEVER PUT ME IN THIS SHIRT!
Go Pro or Go Home
Luis V**a Aug 27, 2014 at 10:28 AM
Chuck, I have been debating whether to get a GoPro or not. I am not sure if you have heard of it, I hope you had. should I invest in a GoPro and take awesome vids and selfies or should I just go home? Luis
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Chuck Aug 27, 2014 at 1:12 PM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
I KNOW ALL ABOUT GOING PRO. ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS AIR BUD WENT PRO IN SEVERAL SPORTS, INCLUDING BASKETBALL AND FOOTBALL. THEY EVEN MADE SOME MOVIES ABOUT HIM. I HEARD HE GOT SCREWED OUT OF MOST OF THE BISCUITS BY HIS AGENT THOUGH.
MY DAD TELLS ME THAT A GOPRO IS ALSO A CAMERA OF SOME KIND. IF YOU WERE GOING TO USE IT FOR AN IMPORTANT PURPOSE, SUCH AS USING IT TO FIND STICKS IN THE LAKE OR TO FIND OUT WHO HAS BEEN PEEING ON YOUR TELEPHONE POLE, I WOULD BE BEHIND IT. HOWEVER, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE USES YOU WANT TO USE IT FOR WOULD BE HARD TO MONETIZE, AND THEREFORE YOU WOULD NEVER MAKE UP FOR THE IMPACT OF THE GOPRO PURCHASE ON YOUR BOTTOM LINE. I WOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT IT. IF YOU WANT TO SUBMIT A MONETIZATION PLAN TO ME, I COULD REVIEW IT AND RIP IT APART (WITH MY TEETH).
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
I NEED A GOPRO TO CAPTURE MY EXTREME SWIMMING.
New Car
Tracey O****i Aug 26, 2014 at 9:03 PM
Hi chuck, Should I sell my car and get a new one? My car has 150k miles and is 9 years old.
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Chuck Aug 27, 2014 at 1:18 PM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
NINE YEARS IS PRETTY OLD. I ASSUME YOU MEAN NINE YEARS AS IN HUMAN-YEARS. THAT MEANS YOUR CAR IS LIKE 63 YEARS OLD IN NORMAL YEARS. THAT'S OLD! YOUR CAR MAY BE REACHING THE END OF IT'S LIFE AND MAY BE TIME TO BE REPLACED. HOWEVER, I DO NOT RECOMMEND A BRAND NEW CAR IF YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR BOTTOM LINE. A CAR THAT'S 3-4 YEARS OLD WILL YIELD YOU A PRETTY NEW CAR, MINUS THE NEW CAR PRICE. PLUS YOU WILL KNOW IT"S RELIABLE. IT'S JUST LIKE HOW YOU GOT ME WHEN I WAS ALREADY SIX MONTHS OLD. I HAD A CHANCE TO PROVE HOW I WASN'T GOING TO BE A LEMON.
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
AS YOU CAN SEE, I STILL QUITE ENJOY THE CAR YOU HAVE!
Getting Ready
HERE I AM GETTING READY FOR THE 2014 BUSINESS AND FINANCIAL LEADERS OF AMERICA SUMMIT HELD IN CENTER CITY PHILADELPHIA EARLIER THIS SUMMER. I WAS THE KEYNOTE SPEAKER WHERE I PRESENTED THE FINDINGS FROM MY AWARD WINNING PAPER: "THE SOCIOECONOMIC IMPACT ON THE QUALITY OF RAWHIDES -- THE PLIGHT OF THE URBAN CANINE AND THEIR LACK OF ACCESS TO QUALITY PET SNACKS".
Is Russia Safe?
Tracey O****i Mar 17, 2014 at 9:29 PM
Hi chuck, do you think its ok for mommy to go to Russia?
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Chuck Mar 17, 2014 at 9:33 PM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
IS RUSSIA THAT DOG PARK WHERE I GOT TO PLAY WITH THE BIG DOGS IN THE MUD AND THAT BIG ONE SLAMMED ME TO THE GROUND? IF SO, DO *NOT* GO TO RUSSIA! THAT BIG DOG IS SCARY. OTHERWISE, IT SHOULDN'T BE TOO BAD. DAD SAID RUSSIA WAS TRYING TO GET BIGGER, AND A DOG PARK CAN NEVER BE TOO BIG IN MY OPINION.
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
SOMETIMES IT'S TOO HOT AT THE DOG PARK!
Folder Management
Tracey O****i Mar 17, 2014 at 9:23 PM
Hi Chuck!!
Why did your email come to my updates folder?
I miss you!
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Chuck Mar 17, 2014 at 9:25 PM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
I'M SURPRISED THIS WENT TO THE WRONG FOLDER. YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY CHECK YOUR FILTERS. IF YOU WERE TO LOSE SOMETHING LIKE A BILL IN YOUR E-MAIL IT WOULD BE BAD FOR YOUR BOTTOM LINE.
LOVE,
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW A DOG YOU CAN TALK TO.
MANAGE YOUR FOLDERS LIKE I AM MANAGING THIS BALL!
Shopping
Tracey O****i Nov 25, 2013 at 1:12 PM
Dear Chuck,
Your dad never wants to go shopping with me. He doesn't want to go to the store unless we need something. I would like to look around much more frequently. I like to see what new things I might need. How do you know what you need unless you are at the store every week?
How can I get through to your dad?
Love, Mom
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Chuck Nov 26, 2013 at 12:17 PM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
WELL THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. DAD'S APPROACH OF ONLY GOING TO THE STORE WHEN YOU NEED IT IS DEFINITELY BETTER FOR YOUR BOTTOM LINE. OTHERWISE YOU WILL END UP BUYING STUFF THAT YOU COULD HAVE GONE WITHOUT. SO I SEE HIS VIEWPOINT THERE AND THAT'S CERTAINLY THE RIGHT FINANCIAL DECISION.
HOWEVER, IF YOU WANT TO GET THROUGH TO HIM, YOU CAN TRY MAKING SHOPPING MORE FUN FOR HIM. LET HIM CHOOSE SOME OF THE STORES TO GO TO AND ACT GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THEM AND SUPPORT HIM BUYING THINGS YOU MIGHT FIND UNNECESSARY BUT THAT HE WANTS. IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU WALK ME AND DON'T LET ME SMELL WHAT I WANT TO SMELL. IT MAKES ME REALLY SAD AND FOR SOME REASON REALLY HURTS MY NECK. IF YOU WOULD STOP WHERE I WANTED TO STOP AND SMELLED MY SMELLS WITH ME, WALKING WOULD BE EVEN MORE FUN!
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER FINANCIAL QUESTIONS, I KNOW SOMEDOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
FOR ME MY FAVORITE SHOPPING WOULD BE COAT SHOPPING!
Need to decorate the walls...advice?
Chris D******h Nov 22, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Hi Chuck,
I need to redecorate the walls in my house. I'm trying to decide between wall paper and a mauve paint color? Which option is better long term and which is more cost effective?
Thanks, Chris
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Chuck Nov 22, 2013 at 11:36 AM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
PAINTING IS THE BEST LONG TERM OPTION AND IS ALSO THE BEST FOR YOUR BOTTOM LINE! IT'S EASY TO PAINT SO YOU CAN DEFINITELY DO IT YOURSELF, WHILE WALL PAPER CAN BE HARDER AND CAN PEEL LATER. IT'S ALSO VERY HARD TO GET WALL PAPER OFF SO IT'S MORE PERMANENT. IF MY DOG CRATE HAD WALLS, I WOULD TOTALLY PAINT THEM.
I WOULD URGE YOU TO NOT PAINT YOUR ROOMS PURPLE THOUGH. THERE IS THIS BLACK DOG AT THE DOG PARK WHO HAS A PURPLE COLLAR AND IS ALWAYS VERY ROUGH WITH ME AND MEAN TO ME. I HATE HER, AND THEREFORE I HATE PURPLE. PICK A MORE MASCULINE COOL COLOR LIKE BRIGHT RED, THE COLOR OF MY COLLAR.
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOME DOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T PAINT YOUR WALLS THESE COLORS!
Mobile Application
Luis V**a Nov 20, 2013 at 5:33 PM
Hello Chuck,
I have recently released my first mobile application for iphone and Android. The application causes some people to love it and others to hate it. What do you think could be the best marketing campaign for this app. I want lovers to love and haters to hate. Thanks Chuck Luis
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Chuck Nov 21, 2013 at 8:49 AM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MOBILE APPLICATION. FIRST THING'S FIRST.... ARE YOU MONETIZING THIS APP? DOING SIMPLE THINGS SUCH AS ADVERTISEMENTS TO MONETIZE YOUR APP COULD REALLY HELP YOUR BOTTOM LINE. IN ADDITION, I RECOMMEND DOING TRICKS LIKE CANDY CRUSH DOES. MY MOMMY IS ADDICTED TO THAT GAME AND MY DAD USED TO BE, SO IT CAN BE QUITE PROFITABLE.
I CAN IDENTIFY WITH SOMETHING THAT SOME PEOPLE LOVE AND SOME PEOPLE HATE. THERE IS THIS SHIH TZU DOG A FEW HOUSES DOWN FROM ME THAT I **HATE**! HE'S SO ANNOYING. I'M SURE HIS OWNERS AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS LOVE HIM THOUGH. HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS DOG? I BARK BACK AT HIM, ALOT! THEREFORE, WORD OF MOUTH AND GRASSROOTS IS THE BEST WAY TO MARKET THIS APP. THE LOVERS AND HATERS WILL BOTH TALK, BECAUSE EVERYBODY TALKS.
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOMEDOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
HERE IS MY FRIEND CHASE AND I BEING QUITE "MOBILE" OURSELVES!
Dating Advice
Andrew W****s Nov 18, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Hey Chuck,
Seeing as you're a great financial advisor, I am curious to hear your thoughts about the treacherous world of dating! Now, I don't know if your owners ever took you to NY, but it's a very interesting dating scene. I am a pretty cute guy, and I would like to meet a pretty cute girl. What are some tips?
Your pal,
Andrew
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Chuck Nov 18, 2013 at 11:41 AM
HELLO THIS IS CHUCK!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO NYC, BUT I WAS BORN IN UPSTATE NY AND SPENT THE FIRST 8 WEEKS OF MY LIFE THERE. ONE THING I DO KNOW IS THAT DATING IN NYC CAN BE VERY EXPENSIVE FOR THE GUY! I WOULD URGE YOU TO COME UP WITH CREATIVE ACTIVITIES THAT DON'T REQUIRE MONEY LIKE WALKS IN THE PARK AND PARKOUR. IN ADDITION, I RECOMMEND ALWAYS MAKING A GIRL SPLIT THE CHECK. I HEARD THEY LOVE THAT AND CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT, AND IT HELPS YOUR BOTTOM LINE.
AS FOR FINDING THE RIGHT GIRL, FOR ME IT ALL STARTS WITH THE BUTT. IF THEIR BUTT SMELLS GOOD, I WILL GIVE THEM A SHOT. AFTER THAT I WILL NIP AT THEM AND SEE IF THEY WILL CHASE ME, AND IF THEY DO, IT'S A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. I WOULD RECOMMEND TRYING THIS.
CHUCK
P.S. IF YOU NEED ANY OTHER FINANCIAL ADVICE, I KNOW SOMEDOG YOU CAN TALK TO!
YOU REALLY HAVE TO WINE AND DINE YOUR DATES!