『Here comes the Sun』
【A Neil Vana x Reader】 【 Act 1 】 【 Under Pressure 】
Synopsis: It didn't take long for them to come back to you, you'd always be dragged back over the bridge. Its just this time, you have a pair of the palest green eyes following you.
Rating: Mature, will go up. Tags: Neil Vana x reader, No use of Y/N, Scientist Reader, Forced proximity, Enemies to friends to lovers, Pre-Canon, Canon divergent, Eventual romance, Eventual smut.
wc: 2.6K Chapters: Chapter 1 Tag list:@probablyreadinsmut
The metro was quiet, thankfully. The seat by the door called to you as you entered the dull tram. A heavy sigh left your lips; it’s been a long fucking day. At this hour most people were already home. A few stragglers like yourself, sparsely appeared on the train. There was a giggle coming from one end of the tram. You glance to see a young girl, no older than 6 or 7, leaning over the back of the bench, peering into the darkness of the tunnel. You could just make out the passing of pillars from the yellow light of the interior of the tram. Her mother, too busy reading whatever was on her phone. It was just the three of you in this carriage.
It's been a while since you’ve seen a child. A few months possibly. A small smile graces your lips. It was nice to see children, but you’d often end up feeling sorry for them. Not many babies being born means lonely children. The number of debates you’ve seen and have been a part of about whether we should have kids or not could give you a headache. You never really were a fan of kids but seeing them sad pulled something in your chest. The girl was looking at you now. Her bright brown eyes stare inquisitively; she smiles and waves. You can’t help but return it, a little twinkle of your fingers. She mimics you.
The tram comes to a holt; the mother quickly ushers her daughter off onto the platform. She waves again, smiling the whole time. A warm feeling blesses your heart.
Maybe you did like kids. Just a little.
The rest of the ride home wasn’t noteworthy. You’d often wonder why you picked an apartment so far from the science division, but it was cheaper, and you’re not bothered to move any closer. After fighting with the lock for the hundredth time. Your humble abode awaits you. It might not be much but it’s home. You pass by the kitchen counter, opening your phone, dialing the number you know so well and placing it on the counter. The ring goes out longer than it should have. There’s the bubbling again, but you know it’s for nothing.
“Hey, this is Morgan. I lost my phone again” You smile. He was always forgetting something. “so you’ll have to leave a message!”
You pause, “Hey, Mog. Today was rough, guess who has to go all the way across the fucking country with some asshole you just meet.” Turning to the kitchen you open the fridge, grabbing whatever prepped meals you left yourself in times of crisis. Today was chili, his favorite.
“Not only that, but they also expect me to continue this bull with Hades. You know how that ended, like how everything does in this world.” You could feel the rage build, the darkness fester. “It would be great if you called, or fuck. Even better if you’d come back. I hope you’re enjoying your time on the fucking beach, you God damn fucking prick-”
“Voice mail has ended”
“Fuck you too then”
Maybe you should take Lucy up on those sessions. That’s a problem for another time, as for right now, you just want to sleep.
The sounds of the ocean stir you.
The sand below your feet shifts with the gentle breeze.
You open your eyes. It’s familiar, like a memory engraved into your skull.
You’re on the fucking beach.
It’s always the same, the same dark sand, the same dull ocean. You’re wearing the same white dress. But this time, you’re not alone.
“Here comes the sun, Doo-d-doo-doo Here comes the sun And I say, "It's all right"
It’s a child, a boy. Why is he here? Who is he? There's no word to describe the utter confusion you’re feeling. As you slowly approach him, he doesn’t look up at you. He continues to sing to himself as he makes what looks like a small sandcastle. Lost in his own little world.
“Little darling, It's been a long, cold, lonely winter Little darling It feels like years since it's been here”
He’s small, probably around 4 or 5. As you stop about a meter in front of him. He looks up at you, with these dazzling green eyes. A toothy smile makes its way onto his pudgy face.
“Do you like my ‘andcastle?” There's a th in castle when he says it, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing on the beach really matters.
“Yeah, really cool, you build that all by yourself?”
“Yeah! Wish it was bigger” His gaze returns to his half-finished castle. “I like the beach, but I don’t like ‘and”
There's a smile on your face, “But you’re making a sandcastle.” His little green eyes look muddled, then he looks intensely at his castle, he really ponders this.
You need to know. “What’s your name?”
He doesn’t respond, he’s back in his own world. You kneel to meet his height. “Hey, what’s your name sweetheart?” He finally looks at you blankly before turning to face the ocean.
You follow; there the titan stands. Her piercing blue eyes stare straight at you.
Amelia can always see you.
You light a cigarette on the tram into work, it’s your third this morning. That’s a record, better keep it from Lu. If a BT doesn’t take you out on this trip, cancer probably will.
Could be a blessing.
There was something about that dream that unnerved you to your core. They’ve always been the same. You end up on the beach, shadows walk past you like the damned, Amelia shows up and that’s it.
No little boy.
No sandcastles.
Amelia never looks at you.
Maybe it was meeting her for the first time. Maybe, her touching you set off some sudo-psychic connection or something. Anything. It could be stress. Jesus, maybe you’re finally starting to lose it. The DOOM is starting to take effect. That’s not something you want to think about. Ok. Talking to Lu is starting to look more and more like a good idea.
When you got to your building, Heartman was already waiting for you by your office. His pleasant smile puts you at ease, even if it was for a short time.
“You’re lucky, I just came back online.”
“You have any luck finding them? “Opening the door to your office, He appeared in a flash.
“Sadly no. But I think I saw someone fall over this time, that was something.” You consider telling him about your dream, but that would have opened up a whole can of worms that you’re not mentally equipped to deal with at this present time.
“Well, there’s always next time.” You say that every time.
“There’s always next time” He always replies.
There’s always next time until there isn’t.
“You’re probably curious about this new endeavor of yours” He says.
“Oh no, I haven’t put any thought to it whatsoever.” You quip as you sit down in your chair. It’s too big for you.
“Hm” He chuckles. “Well, it’s simple really. You go out, you collect the samples you need, and you come back. There’s not much too it” He says this like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“Oh yeah, and all the BT’s, the bandits, the hazardous terrain and we can’t forget the timefall is all just little bumps on the road.” You shrug “Not to mention, I have to spend the guts of 2 months with a man that already thinks I’m as useful as the rock he will eventually hurl at me.”
Heartman stares at you with the same bemused look he always gives you. “With that attitude, he will be hurling a lot more than a rock” He taps the pod on his chest. “I know this isn’t what you had planned for, or what you would hope for.” He makes his way around your desk. Leaning on the desk, you assumed it was his own desk he was sitting on. “But I think this could be good for you. Great for your research, but also good for you.” His finger meets your collar bone.
“Oh, great you’re starting to give me life advice now.” You slouch in your chair. Hands meeting your face. “You know, you and Lucy would have a field day talking about how I should be improving my life”
He calls your name. The serious tone throws you off, you look at him. There’s concern written all over his face. “I know you’ve had a rough time of it. I understand better than most. Grief will stricken you, immobilize you but you can’t let it consume you.” This is rich coming from the guy who keeps killing himself to find his family. But you say nothing. You just stare at the blank wall.
“I know, Carl… I know.”
His eyes soften before he gets up, rounding the table again. “If you need anything, just call. I’ll project at any research center you come across, even on the road, just give me a call and I’ll answer.” He smiles at you again, no matter what he says or does, he always has a way of calming you down. He’s been there for you from the start. You don’t know what you’d do without him. It could bring tears to your eyes; you will them away. You’ve gotten good at that.
“Thank you, Carl.” That’s all you can manage.
“You’re welcome, I’ll see you tomorrow morning” And he’s gone.
“And then he said ‘I don’t need a civie to slow me down’, First off sir, I’ve actually been outside. Does he think all we scientists do is sit on our asses every day?” You pace around Lucy’s office; it’s become common practice for you. Lucy sits relaxed in her chair opposite you. She’s smiling with a cup of coffee in her hand. In her ‘I love lucy’ mug you gave her one Christmas a few years back. She insisted it was an immature gift, but you’ve only seen her use that mug.
“Well, not many people know what you scientists get up too. For all he knows you’re creating some Frankenstein’s monster in the SC building.” She chuckles.
“You’re not helping. I have to spend weeks, WEEKS, with this prick. Yeah sure, he’s kinda cute. In a ‘I haven’t slept in years’ way but that does not beat his attitude” Now that gets her attention.
“So, you think he’s cute?” Her brow rises with a smirk.
You stop in your tracks, glaring daggers. Finding your seat again, you flare “Hey now, he’s not BAD looking. His friend is the more handsome one really.” But he didn’t have those remarkable big green eyes.
“A lot of people would say the same thing about your attitude.” She got you there. Your brazenness has gotten you in more trouble than you’d care to admit. You wouldn’t have gotten far in this field without it though. “It is natural to feel apprehensive about this whole ordeal. You just meet the man, right?” You nod. “So, you’ll feel suspicious, particularly if Miss Strand is involved.” You shiver.
“Don’t mention her. There’s always been something about her that I don’t like.” Lucy gives you a probing look.
“I’m not sure why, there’s just this…. distance too her. Like she’s outside the realm of the rest of us.” And the whole, you’ve seen her 100-foot self in your dreams for years. Now she’s even acknowledging you.
“I haven’t meet her, so I can’t say. She is one of the most powerful persons in the UCA and bridges so that can add to your anxiety.”
“I hope you don’t have the pleasure of meeting her. It’s like she looks at you as if you’re some sort of little pet she’s taken some interest in. Maybe she should get a fucking dog.”
Lu laughs, “You always have some creatives comment to say about others. Have you ever thought of getting into writing?”
You roll your eyes. “Oh god, I wouldn’t plague the world with such absurd thoughts. I doubt many would care about what I have to say about the state of the world.”
“I’d care.”
You smile warmly at her. “Of course you have to care, if you didn’t, I’d be having some choice words with you as I threw you out the window.” Both of you laugh at that. She might come off a bit cold, harsh even, but you loved her, and she loved you. That’s all you need.
You should tell her about your dream, but you can’t really find the words to describe it. You want to, really, really want to. But you can’t.
“What’s the name of this prick? So, I know to avoid him” You smirk at your friend.
“Neil Vana, I think? Kinda sounds like Nirvana. His parents were fans I’d reckon. He had this accent, it sounded European. Italian maybe? Could be Spanish though.” You’d listen to Nirvana from time to time, but they remined you of Morgan too much so you stopped.
Looking back at Lucy, she gave you a hardened stare. That took you back. “Hey, lulu. You, ok?”
She didn’t say anything for a bit before looking at her hand. At that cancer scar carved there. “Yes, I’m fine” You didn’t believe a word of that.
“You know, for someone who talks about therapy and ‘bottling one’s feelings leads to breakdowns’. You tend to do that a lot.”
You can see her grip on the cup tightens. She glares with her warm hazel eyes, but they temper, she can’t be cold with you. “Maybe I’m just a hypocrite.”
“Maybe you’re just as flawed and fucked up as the rest of us.” Now she gives you a real smile, a genuine one. A smile you only give when you’re alone.
“Maybe I am. Not at fucked up as you though”
“Ohhhh Ouch.” You smirk. “But you’re close enough”
Then the door opens.
You jolt, whipping around to see a man. A man holding flowers? Oh, so this is the guy. He’s cute, in a rough around the edge’s way. Looks like he works with his hands judging by the crazy biceps he has.
“Erm-“ He sheepishly steps back. Dark blue eyes darting from the two of you back to the hallway. “I can come back later” His voice is rough. Like he hardly uses it.
Your gaze is met with the shocked wide-eyed look of Lucy. She’s all red, oh now this was juicy. You smile devilishly at her before turning back to the mystery man. “Oh no, I was just finished.” You grab your purse, winking at the mortified woman before you. Trekking across the room, eyes trained on the man. “Lulu, I’ll call you later.” Just as you pass him, he brushes your shoulder.
In an instant. You’re back on the beach.
It’s you, and now him. Standing there, staring. There’s a baby’s cry.
Then you’re back.
You freeze. Both of you stare at each other for a moment. Shock clear in both of your eyes. He saw that too.
“Sam?”
He turns back to Lucy. “Yeah, Lu. Sorry” he says gruffly. You meet her puzzled gaze before making a quick exit down the hall.
You’re not going to unpack that right now. If ever if you have a say in it. You have too much on your plate to be dealing with what ever bullshit that was with this ‘Sam’ guy. Just one more thing to add to the shit list you’ve unfortunately started to accumulate.
Right now, you just have to focus on tomorrow morning.
