A couple days ago I lost my phone. I panicked, I was stressed, and I felt empty. I could no longer browse through Instagram and look at what everyone was doing, or going on Snapchat to see everyone’s “familiar” faces. I no longer had access to everything I ever wanted through a petty screen.
It was pathetic how helpless I felt. I could no longer rely on the quick navigation that Waze or Google Maps provided me, and I found myself lost, and having to read street signs and figure everything out myself. I am reverting back to hunter-gatherer. I am going to make connections instead of second or third or fourth or fifth hand connections.
As much as I hated it at first, it was a good change. I was secretly happy that I had an excuse to be antisocial, to stay in and read, to disappear sometimes (incognito!!!) and to just completely not know what is going on. I felt kind of... happier? I walked myself to the AT&T store, disabled my number and got a new one. I got a flip phone-- I did have to contact my parents and other people, after all. I have always thought about locking my phone in a box, selling it, and getting a flip phone. Now, I had to. There was no excuse. It was painful, but enjoyable, and also nostalgic, to have to press every number a couple times to type the letter I wanted.
If someone needed me, they can come find me. Or call me. It will just no longer through second-hand-invites because of a swipe up of a story, or scrolling through social media trying to feel like everyone else.