Cinnabunbun

INFP / Aquarius / 20yo / unit602rep ~page written by a Xavier girlie⭐️

[rains-starlight]

(xavier ramble that i posted on discord and now u get to read here <3)

so. my main faves are xavier (main), rafayel, and caleb. and i was thinking... what's pulling me to xavier over the other two? (especially caleb LMAO) i feel like i'd commonly go with the outspoken clingy dramatic boys (raf) or the 'childhood best friend' archetype (caleb) but something about xavier captivated me.

when i first started looking to him, i felt like there was waaay more than meets the eye for his character, and that's intentional, since he wants to live a quiet life, but has so much history behind him.

aside from differences in personalities and preferences (i love raf but irl im not a sea or seafood person, and i love caleb but.. but nothing. xavier just pulls me in more LMAO), xavier to me truly has that sneak attack for your heart.

he's awkward, and silly, and insanely powerful on the battlefield. he loves reading comics, playing video games, and being delusional about his cooking skills. he's a rock that you can always depend upon in a quiet life. he's cheeky and gets easily jealous, but would much rather pout and be sulky than direct that to you. its adorable. as xavier and caleb are jokingly deemed the 'possessive' duo, caleb's possessiveness to me could go left (affectionate, i know why), whereas i feel as though xavier's stems from just wanting to capitalize on your attention. he has someone in his life that he cares deeply about, its only natural for him to be a little clingy about it.

on top of the fact that he's just a good friend in of itself, keeping an eye on you and making sure you take care of yourself without crossing a boundary. he loves being around you so much so that he admires the person you are, and wants to be that type of person himself. he relishes in being recognized by you in a world where he's only ever known as an entity to be utilized, rather than a person who has feelings and passions.

'this is the first time someone's asked me to play support' he says, which sounds normal at face value, but its definitely something to be unpacked: he's not used to being the person that supports, he's used to being the leader, the strong hunter that needs no one to finish the job, the crown prince that's above all else, the leader of the backtrackers, the elusive lumiere… now he just gets to be xavier that supports his friends. he thinks of himself as a nobody, someone who used to be 'everything', not out of personhood, but out of necessity. being able to be seen by someone he loves despite everything is by far the greatest joy in life he could ever have. and i love him SOOOO MUCH FOR IT!! im sure all of the lads love mc and they make their life better by being in it, but for me, there's something so comforting and lovely about xavier growing into a person he wants to be because someone he loves makes him want to figure out who he is for himself. because the person that loves him will love him at his core regardless of who he decides to be. thats why he gets jealous because mc looks to lumiere, and im sure she's picked up on that too. he loathes the idea that she loves someone that isnt him. obviously, lumiere IS him, but it's not 'him' in the sense that it's a persona, an idea, a hero. xavier… simply thinks of himself as a man who quietly lives in his apartment and goes to work like everyone else. he doesnt have a tether to anything other than just wanting to live life the way he wants to, after living so many lives that were not given by choice. at least… not until mc.

but as an addendum to this rambling, he's just!!! great and i love his personal journey and how it intertwines with mc at the core of it. im happy he gets to be in a world where he can live a quiet life!! and his joy is by far something that leads me to him over the other lads.

-- (i love him in his entirety and i think i havent found that spark with the other lads yet. caleb is a close second though, his relationship with mc is so silly and they have such a sweet bond that im sure he cherishes. his devotion, affection, and love languages are to die for.

but i think xavier's way of being there for you and picking up the cracks when you cant or before you even realize appeals to me more. thinking about precious bonfire clips i saw and how he took every opportunity to stay by and support mc and how he looked after her, made sure she was having fun, and allowed her to use him as a scapegoat so that she didn't get burnt out or the call where he saw she was alone at a team building thing at the bar and offered to leave with her since she wasnt really keen on hanging out to begin with he's just. so sweet. hes always thinking about the small things and wants his favorite person to be happy because it makes him happy :> this doesnt even go into the smaller nuances or traits that i love about him. maybe i'll do a post about it or just how personality wise i feel like if i were to bond with anyone irl xavier would be #1 in a landslide.)

[secundati]

you see the thing about Xavier is that he is a guy that was groomed from birth to become the sovereign of a planet trying appear Normal and Average because current circumstances require him to be covert and hide in plain sight but it doesn’t really work. not just because he’s TOO remarkable and talented but also because he can’t fully rid himself of the temperament he developed within that kind of conditioning.

Like yea he has all the leadership capabilities he’s reliable and dependable and shoulders tons of responsibilities all while seeming aloof and composed because he was made to be that way. Because he was born to dominate and stand above others.

And while he has rejected the original path laid out for him, rejected the standards and values made to shape him into the king his father wanted him to be in favor of following his own moral compass, there’s still a small, small part of him that really is SUCH a prince lol

Like, you see it in the way he raises his chin and looks down at you when he about to do something bold.

And some of the emotions he was likely made to suppress because it would make him appear weak are poorly regulated and manifests as childish behavior that he even admits he just can’t help.

So he’s also kinda cheeky and petty and lowkey doesn’t like losing face. You tease or provoke him, or make a joke or prank at his expense and he can’t let it slide. He doesn’t yield. Or give way. And in the rare moments he DOES it’s just cause he’ll get you back later.

The cozy hoodies, the love of junk food, the books, the one bedroom apartment, and his penchant for taking on part time jobs in his free time as if he hasn’t generated mountains of wealth in the two centuries he’s been on earth coupled with that soft, gentle, almost whisper-like manner of speaking make him appear so modest and humble, as if his humility holds him back in so many ways,

And he ALMOST pulls it off. But then he’ll open his mouth and casually mention his 70k wanderer kill count. Or tell you that a century isn’t really that long. Or spend and donate money without even bothering to know the cost of things. He just can’t be normal or average he has no frame of reference for it.

His exceptionality gets him clocked too, the colleague he had when he was an evol police officer figured out his true identity. And Nero damn near figured out he was Lumiere in a weekend.

Xavier is genuinely a sincere and down to earth person; he’s good and trustworthy and earns the loyalty of the people around him without even trying to. Even though elements of his upbringing haven’t been entirely purged from his personality, he is still a former prince who refused to turn a blind eye to injustice, refused his birthright to do the right thing.

It makes for a pretty noble and charming character!

It also makes him funny as hell sometimes. Taking public transit like his ass can’t teleport? So unserious.

[aboodfmly]

My Journey to Escape the War in Gaza

My name is Abdelmajed. I never imagined I’d be sharing my story like this, but life in Gaza has become unbearable. I am a survivor of the war here, and in the blink of an eye, everything I once knew—my home, my safety, my community—was ripped away from me.

The war has transformed Gaza into a graveyard of broken dreams. The buildings that once stood as symbols of life and resilience are now piles of rubble. Every corner is filled with the echoes of explosions. Every moment is shrouded in uncertainty. There is no security. There is no stability. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Basic needs have become luxuries. Food is scarce. Clean water is even scarcer. Hospitals are overwhelmed and under-resourced, and there is almost no medical care to be found. Every night, families go to bed hungry, praying they’ll wake up to see another day. The cost of basic necessities has skyrocketed, and it’s become a daily battle just to survive.

I’ve seen things I never thought possible—standing in long lines for a piece of bread, rationing every drop of water, and watching my people suffer in silence. I have lost everything—my home, my safety, my dignity.

Escape from Gaza is my only hope, but it’s almost impossible without financial help. The cost of evacuation is far beyond my means, and without support, I’m trapped in a warzone with no way out.

I’m reaching out to you now, in the hopes that someone, anyone, can help. I am not asking for luxury. I am asking for a chance—just a chance—to live. A chance to escape this never-ending cycle of fear, destruction, and loss. A chance to rebuild my life somewhere safe, where I can begin again, where I can find hope once more.

Any amount you can give will help me get closer to safety. Even the smallest donation will make a difference—it could be the lifeline I need to survive. If you are unable to donate, please share my story. The more people who hear it, the better the chance that I can find the support I desperately need.

Your kindness and support mean the world to me. You’re not just helping me escape a war; you’re giving me a chance to live, to rebuild, to breathe again.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring.

Vetted by @gazavetters

Abedmajed’s Hope: Rebuilding Our Family’s Life in Gaza

My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.

[starsforxavi]

Heart of a Diamond ⁘ Xavier (Ch. 1)

······•✦ description: Dearest gentle reader, the time has come for us to place our bets on the upcoming social season, where news has spread throughout Linkon that the rarest jewel, Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Linkon, has announced her hand for marriage.

While many men of all nobilities have certainly placed themselves into the race, will she settle or perhaps shoot for the stars? For a diamond like her, she needs a Prince who will provide only the best, unlike some who have declared themselves suitors…

...

Though, not all is hopeless and lost. In fact, there has been word of two very eligible and highly sought-after bachelors who are likely to ask for her hand. They are friends, nonetheless! Though hailing from starkly different kingdoms, these two princes have certainly made their own mark on the Ton and amongst mamas alike.

·······•✦ pairing: prince xavier x princess reader ·······•✦ word count: 19.2k ·······•✦ genre: fluff, build-up, strangers to lovers, regency au ·······•✦ general tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Regency, Prince Xavier, courting, Fluff, Slow Burn, Light Angst, Slow Build, Romance, Ballroom Dancing, Marriage Proposal, Choosing Between Two, Prince Sylus, Lady in waiting Tara, Right hand man Jeremiah, Xavier is Prince of Philos, Carriage Rides, Fencing, a lot of yearning, and thinking about the right decision, To Be Continued, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Tension, Rumors, Scandal, Masquerade Ball, Princess MC, POV Second Person, No use of y/n, Xavier is closed off and MC hates it

·······•✦ posted on: ao3

chapter one (chapter two coming soon)

However, one has heard of a most scandalous tale involving a certain Prince of Philos. Certain mamas have heard word that he was once betrothed to another, a fine young lady of good character, and yet now he is vying for the Ton’s precious jewel. This author wonders what circumstances led to the young prince breaking that poor girl’s heart and the scandal that must have occurred. Will the young prince run this time, or will this young upstart finally snatch this rare jewel?

The newspaper is spread amongst the people of the courtyard, their mouths hanging open at the news of their Princess’s announcement to attend the recent season in search of suitors. It is silly to assume that the Princess of Linkon, recently named the diamond of the season, no less, wouldn’t have the majority of the men at her beck and call. 

In the main square of Linkon, you sit on a bench with Tara. She has always been your favorite lady in waiting, knowing exactly what to say and even teaching you some of her own clever slang she’s learned. Royal Guards stand behind you, making sure that nothing is to come of their precious Princess and soon-to-be Queen. 

“She is speaking as if you are some object to capture!” Tara giggles, her eyes skimming the article. It’s all about you, the announcement of your search for a perfect suitor. There’s a bit of trepidation in your mind, the weight of the kingdom on your shoulders, to pick the right man to support you as Prince Consort. “At least she wishes you luck in your pursuit, though I do not wish for you to turn to dust.” 

Her humor always amazes you, and a chuckle comes from your parted lips. She brings an air of comfort as she is perched beside you. Despite the many eyes directed your way, you keep your wits about you, knowing that one wrong move can mean a scandal, and who knows where the author of that article is. At times, it was overwhelming, but having people around who were always attentive and willing to help made all the difference. 

“I am sure if he breaks my heart, there will be many people coming for his head,” you try to joke back, feeling Tara’s hand on your satin-covered bicep. There is a slight chill to the air, but your gloves, as well as the intricate long-sleeved dress you picked out for the day, cover you enough. “You, my parents, and the whole of the kingdom just will not stand for it.” 

It was true. You have garnered the affection of the entire kingdom from the day you were born. They all sit in waiting for the day you become their Queen. The day you marry… That will be the day your parents will bestow the crown to you. Now, all you had to do was pick your husband. 

“My parents have always liked him.” You shrug, remembering the talks they’ve had with you about the upcoming season. They reminded you that you could choose whomever you liked, but that they absolutely adored Prince Xavier of Philos. He always seemed so put together in royal meetings between kingdoms, but you had never gotten the chance to speak to him. “Though I wonder if this new scandal will change their hearts.” 

“Surely not, My Lady.” Tara shakes her head, her eyes finding a few men staring at you. They look to be not of nobility, but the darkness in their gazes has her pulling you up and guiding you back to your carriage. “The King and Queen are not easily swayed by some article…” She pauses as she helps you up into the carriage, climbing in and sitting beside you. “However, I do think there is some truth to her words.” 

Her statement weighs heavy on you as you watch the scenery change from brick and stone buildings to the fresh green land that leads to the palace—a palace that will soon be entirely yours, though your parents will still reside in it. Knowing that soon you will be sharing the royal bedroom with your husband was half exciting and half nerve-wracking. 

“She is rarely wrong.” Your fingers play with the silk front of your dress adorned by gold accents. Recently, your parents have insisted on you wearing more intricate dresses with darker colors, and you can’t deny that it does make you stand out even more than before. 

This author has always been able to gather the best gossip among the nobles, making sure such scandals are aired out to each and every kingdom. How she got everything, you did not know, but the fact that it was scarily accurate every time meant she was good at what she did. “I do not doubt her details.” 

“There is even dirt on the Prince of Tarus!” Tara leans in, her eyes shining bright. Both of these Princes are asking for your hand… Just the thought makes your heart race. “If both of these men will be asking for your hand, it will be a big decision.” There’s a twinkle in her irises as her smile widens. “I will gladly take the one you do not want, My Lady.” 

Your laugh stretches out amongst the green grass, through the herds of animals that graze there between tiny plots of forest. It’s a beautiful scene and one that you can see the entirety of from your balcony. At night, you can even catch the streetlights and lamps of the kingdom stretching out before you, reminding you of the people who look to you and your family in times of need. 

“You are free to attempt the hand of whomever I do not choose. They would be lucky to have you. Though I will definitely miss you as my lady in waiting.” There is jest in your words. “If you were to become Queen, we could have daily lunches together. Should I even choose one of them…” The last sentence is more of a whisper, but Tara hears it all the same. 

With a dramatic sigh, she cups your elbow. “Upon seeing the lineup of suitors so far, I am afraid that you might have to choose one of them, lest waste your first year on the market – as the diamond of the season, no less – waiting for a better option.” She is right. After being named diamond of the season by all the other kingdoms, the pressure began to mount merely hours after you announced your hand. Who knew if you would garner that same attention if you waited another year? 

“I have to admit, I am quite excited to meet them.” Prince Xavier, in particular, caught your interest. The quick glances you caught of him during hectic royal meetings told you he was incredibly handsome, with soft silver hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to see through everything. He is everything your parents want for you, though they haven’t really seen the man smile, nor have you. Granted, you’ve only ever seen him in high-stress situations or large groups of people, so perhaps he is different behind closed doors. “I hope the Prince of Philos is not too emotionless. You know I wish to marry for love above all, and I worry that he will not feel the same.” 

Though there are rumors circling about him asking for your hand, nothing is set in stone. You wouldn’t know for sure until the morning when there would be a gathering of suitors at the palace so you could mingle and meet with the men who would be vying for your hand. A part of you hopes that the Prince of Philos will be there, but a seed of worry sprouts in your stomach at the thought. 

“You seem smitten with him already.” Tara jokes, leading you out of the carriage in front of your palace. “And if he does not seem to reciprocate your affections, then I can always knock some sense into him.” Tara knows that she can’t just hit royalty, no matter how lax you and your parent's rules are for your ladies-in-waiting, but the statement pulls a genuine laugh from you. The smell of dinner wafts toward you, and Tara rests a hand on your waist, guiding you in the direction of the dining hall. 

“This is why you are my favorite, Tara.” You laugh, your eyes closing slightly as you hear your parents greeting you from their seats at the front of the room. “Come and eat, we can discuss more about these men.” 

“With pleasure, My Lady.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The morning comes a long while after you retire to your bedroom. All throughout the night, you toss and turn with worry. Although the article stated that both of the highly sought-after princes would be there to ask for your hand, there is a real possibility of you walking out there and seeing all the duds. 

Sleep doesn’t happen quickly, and by the time the sun is rising and Tara is knocking on your door with breakfast and your attire for the gathering, it feels as though you haven’t gotten any sleep at all. A large yawn stretches your jaw as she walks in, setting a tray of breakfast in front of you while holding up your gown. 

It’s exquisite , you think as you take a bite of toast. Deep green satin is the base color, with gold droplets falling from the short sleeves and bottom. It flares out beneath the waist to give you volume, and with each step, you can imagine the droplets reflecting the light and leaving you shining. The bodice looks like it will hug you just enough to keep you together but not enough to cut off your airflow. 

“Wow,” you nod, finishing up your breakfast quickly. “It looks stunning. Where did my mother and father manage to find this from?” “A neighboring kingdom gifted this for your first gathering of the season, My Lady,” Tara explains as she helps you into the dress. Her hands make quick work, knowing exactly how tight you like everything after years of being by your side. “It is exquisite, and you will surely catch the attention of the two special princes.” 

“Are they here?” You can’t help but ask, face heating up at the thought.

“Oh yes, they are.” A giggle comes from the lady behind you, her fingers brushing your temples as she sets your tiara on your head. It’s one you’ve worn since you were a teenager. With winding golden streaks that are dotted by small stars, it fits with Linkon’s love for space and science in general. Your kingdom has made amazing advancements thanks to the support of your parents, and in return, you are given beautiful clothes with said stars and planets adorning them. 

Once she is finished, she turns you around to look at her. There is a spark in her eyes, fingers squeezing your shoulders as she leans forward. “They look dashing, and the Prince of Philos, in particular, has already asked for you.” 

Butterflies erupt in your stomach, head turning down toward the floor as you fight the smile on your lips. “He has?” The question comes out as more of a whisper. 

She hums in confirmation, cheeks nearly splitting from the wide smile. “Though the prince is a bit monotone in his expressions, he seems genuinely interested in getting to know you.” Her excitement transfers to you, the corners of your lips curling just enough to give away the happiness in your expression.

With a gentle push, you’re led out to the front yard. Your parents are already there, and you can see many people – men, women, and children – standing under umbrellas with drinks and snacks in their hands. Young women blush as their hands are held by prospective husbands, and parents watch with a smile as their children are courted.

As soon as you step out, you’re met with so many bows that your back can barely keep up. They all have their eyes on you, giving small greetings while you make your way to your parents. Men stop and stare, their eyes dark and hungry while also trying to remain respectful. It’s as if you are truly a prize to be won, and there is a sense of discomfort as your fingers fiddle with one of the golden droplets by your side. 

“My princess!” Your father beams, giving you a hug as your mother presses a kiss to your forehead. “I see you have gotten the special dress made for today. You look absolutely stunning.” He cups your cheek, his expression full of glee. “It is no wonder you have been named the diamond of the season.” 

Your eyes roll playfully. “Thank you, Father…” Though you pretend to act embarrassed, your heart warms at the affection shown by your parents. They have always been there to provide the best advice and shower you in love from a young age. You’ve heard from other kingdoms of princesses being raised by maids and ladies in waiting, and you wouldn’t wish that on your worst enemy. 

“Please, mingle with the gentleman, sweetie.” Your mother cups your chin, looking at you with the softest gaze. “Many of them have come to us for your hand, but the decision is ultimately up to you. And remember…” Her other hand adjusts the tiara on your head. ”You are not required to choose this year. You may wait. We do not want to force you into a loveless marriage.” 

Nodding, you look around to find everyone’s eyes on you. It’s not something you aren’t used to, so you smile and nod to the crowd. Wow … Most of these people here for you? Just because you’re used to the attention doesn’t make it all the more odd to know that the young men here are all wishing to be your husband. 

“Alright, I shall.” With a hug to your parents, you let Tara clear the way for you to grab a drink and a snack as you greet some of the men. 

Then, a low grunt of someone clearing their throat comes from behind you as you’re listening to a man talk about his farm. It’s not that he isn’t interesting, but your eyes immediately brighten as you excuse yourself and turn to see the one you’ve been hoping to catch. 

“Hello, Your Highness.” Xavier’s palm is sweaty, but he hides the quick wipe of his hand on his elegant suit pants before holding your gloved hand and bowing. He’s much more handsome up close than far away, but as he stands straight again, you notice the thin line of his lips closed in a stoic expression. 

“Oh, uhm.” You bow, trying to give him a smile, but it’s immediately quelled by the seemingly forced one he gives you. “Hello, Prince Xavier.” 

“You remember my name.” His eyebrows disappear behind his silver hair that hangs down in front of his forehead. The warmth of his fingers still rests under yours, and there’s a moment of silence as Tara taps the middle of your back.

Snapping out of your daze, you pull your hand to your side once more. When you speak, you can’t help the slight stutter in your words. “Yes, I do.” Your brain tells you to collect yourself, that you shouldn’t be so affected just by him speaking two words to you. “It is hard to forget when you would speak about the many advancements Philos has taken during the Royal Meetings.” 

It’s true. The way he conducts himself in the meetings, despite being surrounded by so many elders, is admirable, and you also find yourself becoming entranced by his deep yet gentle tone. 

He seems even more taken aback by your remembrance of him. The seam of his lips parts slightly, and you feel the air around you becoming a bit awkward. A part of your mind thinks that maybe the rumors in the article are true, that for some reason or another, he denied his initial betrothed and sought you out… But why wasn’t he showing any emotion? 

“Yes,” the deep timbre of his voice breaks the silence. Even though the chatter around you has turned a bit hectic, with men glaring at the Prince of Philos for just a moment to talk to you, it’s as if there is a bubble around you, the prince and Tara. “Our advancements are vast, and that is all thanks to the scientists we have working tirelessly.” 

Tilting your head to the side, you hum. “So you do not have anything to do with such advancements?” It’s a bit of a teasing question, one meant to entice him into more conversation. “I thought you were the head of these missions, but it seems as if I was mistaken.” 

A hint of a smile flashes past his face, but it’s gone in the blink of an eye. With his arms behind his back, he rocks on his heels, looking around as if he were searching for an out. Before you can excuse yourself, he speaks. “You are very mistaken, Your Highness.” The way the title rolls off his tongue has your heart speeding up. “Along with being Crown Prince, I am the head of our research team and work long nights with our scientists to ensure successful experiments.” 

“Oh?” Your intrigue gets the better of you, and you drop the regal act for just a moment. You are you, the Princess in you sitting down to reveal the lover of information. “What kind of experiments? We are conducting our own here, but I am rather busy with lessons and meetings with my parents to attend.” 

There’s a spark of something in his eyes as he takes a step closer. It’s not enough to make you uncomfortable. Rather, it’s the right distance away to admire the glow of his skin in the rising sun or the sparkle of blue that flashes as he darts his gaze across your features. 

“We have been charting the stars recently.” Xavier’s voice has a hint of excitement in it, the normally stoic deepness of his sentences making way for a longing to share his knowledge. “Our kingdom has vast, beautiful forests and salt flats that make way for the most stunning view of the night sky. You can nearly see to the edge of the galaxy from the highest point of the palace.” 

It’s the most he’s spoken in one breath, his cheeks tingling pink as he flattens out the bottom of his vest. Clearing his throat, his eyes fall to the ground for a moment before he meets your gaze, his expression flattening to one of near indifference. There’s a familiar awkwardness surrounding you, but it’s to be expected of two people who have just met, especially with the implication of marriage hanging between you. 

“If you wish, I would love to welcome you to our palace. There is a meteor shower next month, and it is a rare occurrence, according to my research. You can catch a perfect view of it from one of our observatories.” He can’t seem to look at you for long before directing his gaze somewhere else, and while you don’t want to hold it against him, you wish you could find the secrets hidden in his deep blue irises.

Tara’s hand presses into your back, but before she can speak, you smile. “I would love that, but perhaps I can visit sooner? I am able to see the meteor shower perfectly fine from my observatory, so I think an earlier visit would be more suited for me.” 

He hums, hands folded in front of him as he rocks on his heels once again. There is a frown on his face, and a hint of some unknown emotion swirls in his words. “Ah, very well. We can arrange something sooner, then.” 

“Wonderful. I can work out communications to have a visit arranged.” As you open your mouth to speak further, Tara stands closer to your side. 

“Apologies, Your Highness, but she must get going.” Her eyes follow the floor, bowing in front of the prince as she holds your elbow. “There are many suitors for her to meet.” 

A light blush flits across his cheeks, and he simply nods. Right, other suitors . Though you are intrigued by the mysterious Prince of Philos, you know there are many other men who are vying for your hand. Maybe you will find someone better. 

In fact, a certain Prince of Tarus was certainly not a sight for sore eyes, and you also wanted to know more about him as well. 

“So,” Tara’s whisper was a little louder than you wanted, but the excitement in her voice was one you couldn’t ignore. “What do you think?” Both of you bow and acknowledge a few people who can’t keep their eyes off you as you stroll through the grass. “Is he everything you ever imagined?” 

Leaning into her side, you let out a chuckle. “I suppose I did not imagine much when I thought about him.” It is true… There were the obvious fantasies of grandeur and sophistication that always followed him around, but other than that, you didn’t have any expectations for him. “Though I was surprised that the stoicism is not just an act, that is truly what he is like.” 

Taking a bite of a scone, your eyes scan the remaining suitors. No one catches your eye quite like Xavier does… Perhaps it is because all the other nobles don’t possess the same mystery and intrigue? You’re not sure. The one thing you are sure of is that you wish to know more. 

“I do have some trepidations…”

“Like what, My Lady?” Tara cocks her head, pouring you another drink.

“He does not seem interested in me, correct?” Like a child pouting, you dip your head to blow on the hot tea. “I know that it is important for me to find a husband, but I do wish to have some semblance of affection between us.” 

Her short hair is rustled by the wind as she shakes her head. “You are such a romantic.” It’s said with no bite behind it, a fond smile finding its way onto her face as she moves a little closer. “He is quite handsome, though.” 

Your nod is accompanied by walking as you make your way through the crowd. There are a few men that spark your interest, and you decide to push the thoughts of the Prince of Philos to the back of your mind. It is the time to explore options, and it is okay to dip your feet in unknown waters. 

“You are right, Tara. He is extremely handsome, but those rumors still weigh heavy on my heart and head. What is to come if I choose him and he grows bored of me?” The words are kept to a whisper to avoid anyone else eavesdropping. “I am sure his betrothed is a lovely woman. Why is he here? Should he not just accept his arrangement? Has he grown bored of her before they were even wed, and I am his next conquest?”

A loud laugh interrupts your anxious rant. Tara holds out a plate for you to set your scone on before pulling you even further away from where the prince is surely still standing. “I do not know why he is here. I can only pretend and play into your saddened delusions.” 

Your hand lands a light smack on her arm, but the smile that follows betrays you. “I am serious, Tara. What if I choose him?” 

“Then,” Tara bows to an older gentleman who looked as if he wanted to speak to you. Ew . “He will become your Prince Consort, sitting on his throne beside your magnificent one.” Her expression becomes serious once more. “Do not get hung up on him, My Lady. There are plenty of men. Dip your feet in the water before diving headfirst.” 

As soon as she says that, a man in a dark red suit and stark white hair approaches. Sylus . With his hand outstretched, you look back at her. She nods, pushing you lightly toward the man. Go ! Her mouth moves, but no words come out, and she turns to leave. 

His smile is smooth, but his movements are more stiff and forced, as if he had been practicing it in front of the mirror. “Your Highness.” He purrs, an eyebrow raised when he stands back up. Heat radiates from his digits as he continues to hold your hand. “You look rather stunning today.” As his gaze rakes up and down your body, you shiver. It isn’t predatory like the other men around, lustful desire swimming in their eyes, but rather extremely confident as if he knows you are going to eventually end up picking him.

“Does she hate me that much?” The Prince’s words startle Tara as she watches you. Her head turns just enough to see Xavier standing a fair distance away. His eyes – already deemed cold and faraway by passersby – are also fixed on you. 

Your lady-in-waiting only shakes her head. “On the contrary, Your Highness.” Both of them are staring at you, seeing your shuffling feet and wide eyes as you listen to Sylus speak of his conquest over the zealots of his kingdom. “She already seems quite fond of you.” 

That takes Xavier by surprise. His eyebrows rise imperceptibly, head dipping to hide the blush that threatens to take hold of him. “Really?” He forces himself to remain calm, his beating heart the only thing he can hear for a few moments. 

“She does not think you share the same sentiment or affections toward her.” Tara clears her throat, sipping on her tea before continuing. “And if I may speak so candidly, she worries about the rumors circling.” 

An awkward silence settles between them. The weight of Tara’s words sit heavy on Xavier’s heart. The rumors are the bane of his existence, and as soon as he thinks about it, his jaw clenches. 

“What must I do?” He sounds almost desperate, staring at his teacup in contemplation. “I want her to know I am sincere in my pursuit of her hand.” 

“But are you just after her hand?” Your lady-in-waiting interrupts him, and she knows it’s impolite, but she’s also your friend. “Or are you after her heart as well?” 

Another awkward silence inches in, but before it can linger too long, you meet Tara’s eye. With a bow, Tara begins to walk away. “Farewell, Your Highness.” Looking back, she smiles. “And good luck.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Tara’s expert hands tie up your corset, and her eyes stare over your shoulder as your gown shimmers in the light. “You look exquisite, My Lady.” Her smile beams in the mirror, pulling away to let you examine the fabric. “Truly the diamond of the season.”

It’s a beautiful combination of lace and silk, all put together by small diamonds like a net over the bottom of the gown. It resembles stars that glimmer with each step you take, leading the way to the one you will choose at the end of the aisle. As soon as the moonlight hits through your window and you know under the large chandelier that it will look as if the sky is dancing on the large ceiling of the ballroom.

You met many interesting men during your walk in the garden just a few days ago, and as the article said, only two caught your eye. Prince Sylus and Prince Xavier. The two princes with the rumors and scandals each have their own types of baggage that would serve to tear you away from them. Or perhaps, build the relationship up even stronger. 

Prince Sylus is obviously physically strong, with glowing red eyes that stand out even in the brightest sun. An aura of darkness surrounds him, but you can tell from the softness of his smile that he is not inherently evil. However, when forced to really reflect on it, and maybe it is just due to only meeting him a few times, you don’t think about the prospect of marriage with him.

Prince Xavier seems like the opposite, but his stride is one of a warrior. He backs down when he knows he has to and doesn’t force an issue further than it needs to go. Everything about him looks gentle, but the ice in his gaze and the straight line of his lips make a pit of anxiety well up inside you. It makes you question his intentions, even with the feelings that are swelling up like a balloon in your chest. 

“Thank you, Tara.” You can’t help the way your head dips to admire the gown up close. The bodice is simple, forcing everyone’s eyes to the bottom of the gown, the elegance of your stride fit only for a future Queen. For a ball in your honor? It’s perfect. “I love it.” 

As she escorts you down to the ballroom, Xavier stands with his friend and right-hand man. Jeremiah sips from a tall glass, scanning the room. “You know, I saw her chatting with Prince Sylus the other day in the garden.” 

Xavier hums, nodding as he looks around. It’s obvious what – or who – he is looking for, but his friend still chooses to let it be. “Well, should your advice work, I hope that I am able to pull her attention away from my dear friend .” His words are sour at the end, as if a part of him is actually worried about you choosing the Prince of Tarus instead of him.

In reality, he’s terrified of you choosing someone else. His feelings have festered inside him, stealing glances during royal meetings and listening with a lovestruck expression as you spoke to the room of elders. He’s enamored, and once he heard about you announcing your hand, he knew he had to jump at the chance. 

“I hope so, as well.” Jeremiah sighs, bumping his shoulder. “I did not spend the whole day yesterday flirting with women in the town square just for you to not use any of my advice.” 

“There is a difference between observation and practical use, isn’t th–” All of Xavier’s thoughts go out the window as soon as he watches you walk down the large staircase in the foyer. Your smile shines like the brightest star, and there isn’t much the Prince of Philos can do except hum along to Jeremiah’s words. Was he still talking? 

He wants to be the first to approach you, ask for your hand, and dance the night away, but he must relent. You are meant to mingle with the men there, to find the one whom you want to call your husband, but just the thought of watching you twirl around the ballroom in another man’s arms has Xavier’s Adam’s apple bobbing. Worry about rejection also murmurs in the skipped beats of his heart. Should he ask for a dance and you say no? He thinks he will just lie down in the pasture and wait for the stars to call him up. 

Masquerade masks decorate the top halves of everyone’s faces because there’s something even more interesting in shrouding people with mystery. Sure, you would be able to pick them out without their masks, but there’s an impersonal aspect that strips a person down to just their soul.  

The silver mask is tight around his eyes, but it matches his suit and fits him quite well. The accents only serve to accentuate the shimmering blue of his eyes, and he hopes that it is enough to leave an impression on you. 

No . It’s not enough to leave an impression. He wants to open up, show more of his emotions and feelings, just as Tara told him he should do. It’s hard. It’s going to be hard. But he’ll do it. 

There’s no one else in the entire world he wants other than you. The first time he saw you, he was entranced by your appearance, but observing you from afar, the one thing he truly fell for was your mind. Every little bit of your words and thoughts culminate together to form who you are. He wants to know more. He wants to know all of you. 

By the time he has finally gathered the courage to walk up to you, your back is to him. Tara catches his eye, a small glimmer of amusement. For what, he’s not sure, but you’re turning around to face him before he can even ponder. 

“Hello, Your Highness.” You know exactly who it is. His mask is exquisite, covering the sharp lines of his cheekbones, but the stunning blue of his eyes could be picked out of a lineup. Just as the rouse of a masquerade ball, there is an added mystery hiding behind his eyes. “Are you enjoying the ball?” 

You aren’t wearing a mask. It was an idea that you entertained, but your parents insisted you were the star of the ball; therefore, everyone needed to see every feature of your beauty. Their words made your skin heat up, a soft “Thank you” echoing in the air before you made your way down the stairs. 

“Yes – uh…” It’s not often Xavier stutters, but now with your attention solely on him, he can’t help the momentary lapse of thought. “It is beautiful, but not as beautiful as yourself.” It’s a line he learned from Jeremiah, but the monotone delivery hurts his efforts just a bit. 

“Thank you.” It’s obvious he isn’t used to this; his mouth still curves just slightly into a smile that seems genuine, but it isn’t enough to convey the depths of his emotions. “Your mask is quite handsome…” A playful smirk makes its way onto your face. “But not as handsome as yourself.” 

The harmless flirting has Tara nearly squealing, her eyes focused on Xavier and his expressions. His ears are currently painted bright red, while his lips part just enough to let out a light cough. 

“Thank you.” There’s a moment of silence, but Xavier doesn’t let it linger for too long. “I was going to ask if you would do me the honor of dancing with me?” 

His outstretched hand is met with your gloved one. The colors match your gown perfectly, and Xavier wishes he could feel the full warmth of your skin. 

Xavier’s been through too many dancing classes to mess this up. On the flip side, you’ve also had your fair share of lessons in ballroom dancing. The result of that is a calculated dance that is equal parts alluring and beautiful. 

The way you both move so in sync with one another maybe peaks your heart rate just a bit. It’s the fact that after listening to so many of these princes drone on and on, it’s nice to focus only on the man in front of you. Perhaps a spark goes off, a small stop to your trepidations about the prince. 

You’re still stubborn in your right to decide, but the way he looks at you, even in a fleeting moment before he turns at the crescendo of the song, is maybe making this decision a bit easier. You still have time. The thought echoes in your mind as you hold your palm out to Xavier. You can’t make such a hasty choice based on one dance. 

The music bleeds into the background, making way for you to listen to your heart. It thrums with a strange rhythm that you can only think of as matching the prince’s own. Over and over and over, crescendoing into a climax that has goosebumps rising beneath the soft silk of your gloves. 

As the dance slows, you giggle when Xavier stumbles over his feet. He’s not perfect. Even princes make mistakes. 

“May I accompany you back to the drink table?” He asks when the song finishes, letting you lead the way with a nod. Tara is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Jeremiah. But you’re both sure that the two are lurking somewhere out of sight. 

“Your Highness,” despite being your title, sounds different coming from his lips. "If I may be so bold, may I ask you a question?” 

A light flush of pink kisses the tips of his ears. “Of course. Ask away.” 

Xavier clears his throat, taking a moment to admire the way the light highlights your features. “What are you looking for in a future husband?” It is a bold question, but one that he feels so compelled to ask. He wants to know everything about you, but he can only hope he fits your ideals. 

It catches you off guard. So much so that you have to take a moment to stare at the ground. The tile is an intricate pattern, one that, if you look at it for too long, will make your head start to hurt. “Well…” You say to stall for time. It’s hard putting your finger on the pulse of your desires. “I do not dwell on physical attributes, but I do wish to be attracted to him.” The filter leaves your brain as you keep talking. “It will help when we make an heir to my kingdom.” 

The flush on Xavier’s ears only deepens at the implications, but he nods and listens nonetheless. He always admired how well spoken you were, how candidly you debated with the elders of the nobles, but the direct statements still throw him for a loop. 

“I admire honesty above all else. A man who would lie to me would betray me.” Your eyes refuse to meet his, somehow feeling just a bit shy under his watchful eye. Other suitors have asked this question before, but none have received as detailed an answer as Xavier. 

“I also need loyalty. The man whom I marry will be swearing an oath to me, his wife. I must be his one and only devotion.” Conviction lines your words, but they soften when you think about one last thing. “And despite the pressures of society, my parents have always told me to marry for love. So, I must love him, or at least be able to plant a seed that will grow into love.” 

Xavier can’t do anything but stand there for a moment, his eyes the slightest bit wider. He’s lucky you can’t hear his heartbeat, which is going even faster than before. It is the most he’s heard you speak, and yet he yearns for more. 

“I see…” He trails off, trying to think back to his lessons with Jeremiah. It all becomes fuddled in his brain when he looks at you. His own heart betrays his head, wiping out all of his thoughts. “Those are admirable traits.”

Even he realizes just how uncaring that sounded, so he nods, holding out a hand to the beautiful atmosphere around you. “How has this night been for you?” His question lingers in the air as you think. 

With a hum, you stare down at your scone. It’s your favorite flavor, and you wonder what his favorite is. “It has been alright. The other suitors are not as good of a dancer as you are.” 

Xavier laughs a genuine chuckle that strikes the bottom half of his cheeks a light pink right below where the mask ends. “I have always been praised for my swordsmanship and my dancing.” 

“Those are two very different things, are they not?” Your eyebrows rise, leaning an inch closer to hear his voice. It’s a sweet melody that you think you could dance to should you try hard enough. 

He shakes his head. “On the contrary, Your Highness.” His deep voice strikes a bit of excitement, the tone shifting into one with just a tinge more emotion than you’ve heard from him before. “Both require the right amount of poise and accuracy. If I take a wrong step, I will ruin your beautiful shoes.” You laugh lightly, but his expression remains a light smile. “And if I miss my opponent with my blade, there goes my head.” 

“I scarcely think those two are the same.” It is as if bubbles float up and burst inside your chest, soaring into the night sky. There are no clouds in sight, and from this angle, you can catch a glimpse of a few stars through the large windows of the ballroom. 

“Well, next time we dance, I will step on your feet and see if you have my head.” You know it’s a joke, but your skin prickles at his boldness of another dance. Of course, another dance. You think, already anticipating another song. 

A comfortable silence settles over you, but before Tara can come in and sweep you away, Xavier speaks up once more. “My offer to visit Philos still stands. Whenever you wish to accompany me, just say the word.” The words are much more gentle and full of a quiet hope that you will want to visit his kingdom.

“I would very much like that.” You’re already going to Tarus Kingdom, Sylus’s domain, so it’s only fitting for you to visit Xavier’s as well. The two were the most eligible bachelors, and your head was growing fond of them both. Visiting their kingdoms would surely push you along in your decision. “Perhaps after the fencing tournament.” 

Xavier nods, bowing deeply and holding onto your hand before standing up straight. His bright eyes shine behind the mask. “What will I get when I win the tournament?” There’s a hint of mirth in his tone, but it’s serious all the same. 

“How do you know you will win?” You banter, an eyebrow raised. “All of my suitors will be participating…” 

Just the mere mention of your other suitors has Xavier’s mouth settling into a thin line. He catches himself quickly, clearing his throat before smirking. “It seems you are mistaken once again, Your Highness.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jeremiah and Tara standing together, most definitely plotting on something , though you are unsure what it is. “I was raised on the notion that to be a noble, you must learn to fight for everything.” A hint of something flashes in his eyes, but with the shadows of his mask darkening his irises and the fleeting feelings that pass, you can’t catch it. “In more recent times, if I want to win a battle, then that is what will happen.” 

“So there are battles you want to lose?” His mystery only serves to frustrate you. There are more questions than answers, but perhaps it is a bit of impatience on your part. Impatience breeds annoyance, which in turn can sour all feelings that threaten to develop. 

A curt nod is your answer, followed by another quick bow. “I will ask you to accompany me once more when I win the tournament.” 

You watch as he walks away, giving Tara a smile and nod before saying something and gesturing for Jeremiah to follow him. The two men disappear into the crowd, and you’re left with a frown and a scone still uneaten in your hand. 

“He said something to Jeremiah about ‘lessons’.” Tara chuckles as she saddles up by your side. Her eyebrows move as she leans closer. “His friend was telling me how Prince Xavier forced him to go flirt with women in the town square to help him be more expressive.” 

“Well, it did not work.” You don’t mean to sound sour, but it comes out with a bitter tone. “There was banter, yes.” A shrug jerks at your shoulders, and you avoid the eyes of hungry men waiting for the chance to ask you to the dance floor. “But he is so mysterious. It is frustrating.” 

“I am sorry, My Lady.” Tara rests a hand on your bicep, giving you a porcelain plate to put your scone on so you don’t get crumbs on your gloves. “Perhaps we should see how he does at the fencing tournament?” 

“He said he was going to win.” 

“What?” She can’t help the incredulous chuckle. “Does he know how many suitors will be fighting? He cannot be that confident.” 

“He is.” You nod with an almost slanted smile that displays no happiness on your face. “He said if he wants to win a battle, then that is what will happen.” 

Tara scoffs, rolling her eyes as she watches where Xavier and Jeremiah left. “He sounds oh so humble.” 

“We shall see during the tournament if his words hold any weight or if I am to let him sink in the weight of his deceptions.” You sigh, letting Tara lead the way to another table, only to be caught up in a swarm of men asking you to dance. While you allow them to step on your feet, smile, and apologize before beginning again, you think about Xavier. He would never step on your feet, but would he lose the battle?

The statements replay in your mind, along with the intense stare from the Philos prince as you described your ideal husband. He was interested, that was certain, but was it because he was studying you as if you were some textbook to be memorized? Or was he interested in reading between the lines?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The setup for the fencing competition takes a little longer than you anticipated. 

It’s days of waiting, of stealing glances at the suitors that filter in and out of the main area of the palace. Day in and day out, they chat, sit with you for tea, but their conversations are superficial and one-sided. Instead of talking with you, they talk at you. 

As if you are some prize to be won. But in some of their eyes, you are. 

The diamond of the season, assessing all her options to pick the lucky man who can say he was chosen by the most desired lady of the marriage market. It’s a bit sickening to think of it that way, but the stares of some of your suitors are hungry only for title and notoriety, not for your heart. 

Even Prince Sylus chats with you, his eyes expressive beyond a shadow of a doubt in showing some semblance of interest. Yet he talks as though the marriage would be one of convenience, driven by politics. Merging kingdoms instead of giving up his title. What would become of your people should you agree to that?

The one person you really want to talk to does not approach. 

Xavier stays by Jeremiah’s side, whispering in hushed tones as they sip cups of whatever liquid they are being served. Tara doesn’t even bother going over because the frown on your face when you pass by the two men and the silver-haired man does not call out for you only causes more heartbreak. It further drives the wedge of doubt in your heart, slowly snuffing out the glimmer of hope that perhaps he is actually interested in you and not anything else. 

“I do not understand, Tara.” You whisper, taking a deep breath as she ties your corset for you. Your outfit for the day’s activities is casual, just a simple gown with no special adornments. In fact, you prefer the soft, silken purple that accentuates your bodice and hips. 

“I am afraid I do not understand it either, My Lady.” She sighs, smoothing out the back of your dress before looking at your face in the mirror. “I cannot pretend to understand what goes on in the mind of these men.” 

“Indeed.” Meeting her eyes, you blink slowly. “At least the Prince of Tarus is straightforward in his intentions… Perhaps it would be easier to marry him.” 

“My Lady,” Tara adjusts the back of your dress, giving you a once-over to make sure everything is pristine. “I have not heard you speak of Prince Sylus once besides when you spoke of settling for him.” 

“Yes but-” 

“I believe you should follow your heart. You never know what may transpire on the long journey to your true feelings.” She whispers, her eyes sparkling in the candlelight of your room. 

With a sigh, you slip on your gloves. The silk is soft on your skin, and you smile before speaking again. “I just do not understand Prince Xavier.” 

Shrugging, Tara sets your tiara on your head. “Once again, I do not wish to be in the minds of these men.” 

You chuckle, your spirits always lifted by her comebacks. “He is here for my hand, yes?” The question is answered by a nod. “Then one would think he would want to win my hand … Yes?” Another nod. “Exactly.” A huff falls from your lips, one of pure confusion and exasperation.

“Well, I suppose we must get this over with.” Your short heels click on the ornate flooring. “He said he will be winning this battle, so let us see if he is a man of his word.” 

Your presence halts all conversation when you make your way through the garden. The stone steps are laid out for you to the seat next to your parents. It’s quite an extravagant setting, with a clearing blocked off for the duels as well as supplies and seating for the people not competing. 

Despite your better judgment, your eyes immediately find the one you’ve been searching for. 

White padding sits in front of his regal attire, a dark vest and thin slacks, paired with an even brighter white shirt that has been rolled up to showcase his biceps. A genuine specimen of a man, you think. But the lingering grievances still poke their heads up in the back of your mind. 

“I believe he is doing that on purpose, My Lady.” Tara leans over to whisper to you, her seat right next to yours. You’re insistent on having her by your side at all times, as you feel most comforted by her outlook on things. “Showing off his assets as if he were some sort of animal doing a dance for a mate.” 

“You are detailed in your words, Tara.” You speak between bouts of laughter. “And I love it.” 

Your mother, wearing an intricate crown and an even more flamboyant outfit, sets a hand on top of yours. As reigning Queen, she knows just what it’s like to be in your place, especially considering she will be giving up the title to you when you are wed. 

“How are you faring, sweetheart?” Her soothing voice calms the raging insanity of your own thoughts, if just for a moment. “Are there any suitors you have your eye on?” 

She already knows of both the Prince of Philos, his charms catching her eye lest she know of his severe lack of emotion, and the Prince of Tarus, his prowess towering over the others in terms of political alliances, but your other endeavors are secrets to her. As her eyes scan the crowd of men that have already started to battle, she commands the people with just a flick of her eyes. 

You've always admired her strength and power, but when faced with a difficult decision such as this, you wish you had even an ounce of her conviction. However, you assume it all comes with age, and you need to pick a husband who will grow with you and support you in your journey. 

“I am faring well, thank you.” One glance is stolen toward her before you find the Philos prince’s gaze once more. “And perhaps I do, but I have some worries I must work out first.” 

“Is it Prince Xavier?” Her voice tells you all you need to know, eyes following yours until they land on the silver-haired man who has not once taken his stare off you. It’s intense, the unwavering expression of determination and slight cockiness that is displayed as he twirls the sabre between his fingers.

“It is.” You confirm, straightening your back and watching as he steps up to his first match. She has always told you how much she liked him, yet she knew nothing of him despite how he handled himself at royal meetings. She does not see the mystery that lingers behind his words, sending you further and further into a spiral of your own emotions. “How did you know?” 

“Mother’s intuition, my dear princess.” She mumbles, her mouth barely moving, but the words are crystal clear. “And I have seen the way he has been looking at you since he arrived in Linkon.” Finishing her sentence with a nod, she goes quiet as the match begins.

There is an ease to his movements as he faces off, and for the first time since you caught his gaze, he’s looking away from you to focus on his opponent. It doesn’t take long for him to gather the appropriate amount of points to advance to the next round, but before he slinks back into the crowd, he faces you. 

A bow, yet his blue eyes sparkle as they stay stuck on yours. He does not acknowledge the other royalty sitting beside you. They do not matter to him. It is your expression that he wishes to read, to have some idea of what you're thinking. All he gets back is a gentle smile and a nod. 

“He is good.” Your mother whispers, her smile betraying her excitement for you.

“He is.”

“Then what are your worries, sweetheart?” She can see the blossoming of realization inside you, the way your fingers drum on the armrest of the chair while all the other men who aren’t Xavier take turns. They are underwhelming. 

You sigh, taking a moment to collect your thoughts. “You have seen the article.” It’s a start, but there is much more to your trepidations. “I have made efforts to get to know him, but I am met with mystery and a lack of emotion.” Another sigh comes as a victor is crowned between two men who look as if they could be your father. “He is here for my hand, and I wish he would be more straightforward.” 

“He needs time.” She rubs her thumb across your knuckles, her attention pulled away by the next round of battles. Xavier steps up once more, his face obscured by his helmet, but his stature changes just as it did before. His soft elegance morphs into a harsh, squat stance, his arm outstretched. “There is obviously a reason for his refusal to his assigned betrothed.” 

“But I do not have time.” You counter, your eyes narrowing as Xavier delivers quick strikes and jabs that render his opponent helpless to the rising point total. “If I do not marry this season, I fear that I will be looked at as wasted potential.” 

The Prince is so confident in his strides, and the buttons of his sleeves strain against the hidden muscles of his biceps. It’s unorthodox to fight like that, with arms bare to any unwanted slice of the sabre. In fact, he looks interesting … With the white padding across his chest and the helmet over his head, he is akin to one of those test dummies that the guards use for archery practice.

Your mother chuckles, shaking her head. “Nonsense, my sweet.” Her gentle tone wafts over you, and you give Xavier another smile and nod as he bows with his second win. One more left, and he will be crowned the winner of the tournament. “You have time. Your father and I want you to marry when you are ready.” 

There is a moment of silence before she speaks again. “Though I hope you do not wait until you are well in your middle ages.” Her joke makes you laugh softly. “We just wish for you to be happy. You are not wasted potential.” She pulls her hand away from yours, the cheers of the battles drowning out as you listen to her. “You will always be a diamond in our eyes and in the eyes of your future husband.” 

“Thank you.” Your words are sincere, and you give your mother a warm smile before you’re brought back to the tournament in front of you. 

The finals…

“You know, My Lady.” Tara pokes your arm as the two men prepare for the final. “The Prince has not taken his eyes off of you besides when he needs to fight.” 

She’s right. 

Xavier’s eyes are locked on you, even as Jeremiah smooths out his padding and helps him adorn his helmet. The sabre glitters in the light, and his opponent stares at him with a smirk before putting on his own helmet, bowing, and clinking weapons. 

Then, the fight begins. 

It seems more like child’s play for the Philos prince. Each jab is countered to near perfection, and even as his opponent plays a good defence, it is no match for the quickness of Xavier’s step and the strength with which he pierces the protective padding. 

It is true that he is a skilled swordsman. That much is evident by the beauty and grace with which he conducts himself even on a mere ‘battlefield’ such as this one. 

He is right when he compares it to a dance, you realize. The poise and accuracy required to predict your opponent's next move and counter it with practiced ease are akin to dancing. Except, as he said, in one, you would ruin your shoes, and in the other, you would be rendered lifeless. 

The battle lasts only a bit longer than Xavier’s previous ones, his back flexing against the fabric of his shirt that is darkened by a light sheen of sweat that wouldn’t be noticeable if you weren’t so intently focused on him. It isn’t until he has delivered the final blow that he goes back to his much more rigid and calculated movements. 

“Congratulations, Prince Xavier of Philos.” Your mother’s voice carries through the crowd, and a light applause waits for him as he stands to attention and bows to the queen. “You are the winner of the Linkon Fencing Tournament.” 

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” His voice is different, more controlled, and with a measured level of grace. 

In a moment of silence, his attention drifts back to you, but not before your mother's next words have him teasing a hint of a smile. 

“Is there anything you wish to say?” 

Your hands grip the armrests of the chair, and you fight the urge to lean forward, focus your mind on every syllable that leaves his soft pink lips. Stop it. You think, your heart running on overdrive as he steps closer until he is right in front of the raised platform you are sitting on. 

He bows, eyes boring into your own. Pure elegance fills his actions, and his words leave the rest of the suitors blinking back in surprise. “I wish to speak to the princess directly.” You nod, unable to say anything lest you make a fool of yourself by stuttering over your words. “I wish for you to accompany me to my kingdom. It would be an honor to be graced by your presence in the palace I grew up in, and perhaps it would be a better opportunity for us to get better acquainted.” 

It’s a bold move to speak like this in front of all of your suitors, but there’s a spark of intrigue and interest there that you can’t deny. So you nod, your voice giving away with a small waver. “I would love that, Prince Xavier.” There is a moment where you contemplate your next move, but your natural progression of thought falls from your lips before you can stop it. “I am glad you made well on your promise to win.” 

“As I have said before, Your Highness.” His face remains nearly expressionless save for the hint of a smile curling at the edge of his lips. “I had to learn to fight for everything. And fight I will.” 

The way he carries himself as the tournament is called to an end and the men begin to meander around for a bit longer catches you off guard. Yes, he does have a bit more pep in his step after the win, but there is a hesitance to his movements while he chats with Jeremiah. 

“Mother,” you whisper, looking over at her. “How does one know that they are in love?” 

“I am afraid you must feel it with every inch of your soul, sweetheart.” She takes a breath, squeezing your father’s hand as he chats with an elder about kingdom matters. Despite being the Prince Consort, he still deals quite a bit with political decisions. After all, marriage is a joint effort, as your mother always said. “But you will know. It will strike you subtly because it is impossible to fall in love at first glance.” 

“It seems to me that you are thinking about something… Or rather, someone.” Tara nudges your side, a nearly inaudible laugh coming as you lightly smack her arm. “I am just saying, My Lady. You have not spoken much about anyone else besides him.” 

“It is because he consumes most of my waking thoughts.” With his back turned to you, there is an imperceptible frown that makes its way onto your face. Perhaps you have gotten used to his eyes, so deep and blue like the ocean, that the mere absence of them is disheartening. “He is an enigma; that is why. I just wish to know more about him.” 

Tara rolls her eyes, taking a sip of tea before rising and holding out her hand. “Of course, My Lady.” Her smile only makes your stomach turn. “Let us get you changed and ready for dinner. We can also prepare for our trips to Tarus and Philos.”

“Our?” 

“Of course, sweetheart.” Your mother nods. “You are not to just wander off alone without an accompaniment. So Tara will be going with you. Though I am sure she will be keeping a distance.” 

“Very well.” Deep down, you’re glad that she is coming, just in case things go awry. After all, she is somewhat skilled in combat and will be able to assist in any takedowns should you need it. “I will be getting ready for dinner.” 

Tara follows behind you, taking notice of the way Xavier turns and watches you depart. Despite the set line of his lips, his eyebrows rise half an inch. “My Lady,” she whispers, both of your shoes clicking on the linoleum floor of your palace. “Shall we go to Tarus first?”

“It is farther away than Philos…” you comment, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth for a second of contemplation. 

She sighs, taking the tiara off your head and going into your closet to find a more suitable dress for dinner. “Yes, however it does make sense to go to the farthest kingdom first.” A sneaky smirk makes it’s way onto her face as she unties your corset. “I also believe it is smart to go to Philos last… As I think that you will be able to make up your mind after talking to them both.” 

“I am not sure, Tara.” Letting her slip off your dress, she pulls the new one up your body. “It is stressful to pick my husband from men whom I have barely met.” 

“You’ve met Prince Xavier at royal meetings, correct?” Her correction has you nodding. “And you have taken the time to remember his name throughout those meetings.” 

“Yes, but Prince Sylus–”

“Does not make your heart sing in the same way Prince Xavier does.” With an eyebrow raised, her hands swiftly tie up your corset to hold the silk fabric against your bodice. “The only time you have mentioned Prince Sylus was to second guess your feelings for Prince Xavier.”

You sigh. “You are entirely too attuned to these things.” 

“I have been your lady-in-waiting for years.” Tara puts the tiara back on your head. “I am a lot more observant than I seem, and it seems as though the Philos Prince has taken your interest, moreso than the Tarus Prince.” 

With a roll of your eyes, you pout at her. “Though all of this pining will not matter if he does not feel the same.” 

“You never know what will happen, My Lady.” She pauses, looking back at the door to your bedchambers. “Now, let us attend dinner.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The day before your outing to Philos, Tara finds Xavier in a hidden corner of the ballroom, seemingly hiding from you as you chat with an older gentleman and his son. He’s not sure why he is so persistent on not talking to you, but as soon as your lady-in-waiting approaches, he dips his head, trying to hide his guilty expression behind a shroud of silver hair. 

“You know, Your Highness.” She starts, leaning against the wall as she keeps an eye on you from afar. “To win her affections, you must actually talk to her.” 

“I know but–” 

“There are no buts to that sentence.” Tara is much more stern in her convictions, her eyes never leaving your figure as your gown sparkles in the chandelier lights. “Apologies, but I do not wish to sit idly by and watch My Lady’s heart get shattered because she is too stuck on someone who will not fight for just a moment of her attention. That is what she deserves.” 

Xavier is silent, his stare also fixated on you. It’s infuriating watching you idle around and talk to these men when all he wants to do is pull you aside and dance under the stars for hours. 

“I do not know how.” He whispers, a hint of broken sadness inching into his words. “I have been told that intellect and strength are far better than emotions, and it is hard to force myself to think differently. All the lessons from Jeremiah are good in practice, but for once in my life, it is impossible for me to put practice to work.” 

Tara hums. “That is quite the predicament.” There is a pause as she thinks. “I am not asking you to change yourself completely. She is beginning to fall for you, that is certain, but to show her you feel the same and solidify the bond that is forming, you must tell her that.” 

A light blush paints his cheeks. “I will try to do it during her visit to Philos… But I am worried that I will mess it up.” His insecurities shine through, heart threatening to beat out of his chest when he thinks about bearing his soul to you. It’s an essential part of a relationship, yet he feels as though his feelings are locked behind a cage, wanting to get out yet seemingly unable to do so.

“The only way that you will mess it up is if you do not do it.” She reassures him. “I am close to her, ever since we were children. I am confident that it will work in your favor if you are just honest with her.” 

Her advice washes over him, causing his muscles to loosen up. His back is still pin straight, the air of royalty still lingering around him, but it’s obvious that her words have some sort of effect on the prince.

“Alright…” Xavier pauses, the muscles in his face relaxing into a soft smile as he watches you chat with another suitor. “I shall keep that in mind. Thank you.” 

“Of course, Your Highness.” Tara bows, seeing the way you fiddle with your fingers and look around for your lady in waiting. With a bow, she meets Xavier’s eye, her lips curling into a smile. “My lady needs me, so I shall take my leave. We will see you in the morning to depart for Philos.” 

“Wait.” The urgency in his voice stops her in her tracks. Before she can ask what is wrong, he continues. “I – uhm… I would like if you both accompanied me in my own carriage, if… if that is something that would be okay?” 

Tara beams, her eyes crinkling with the excitement of her smile. “I am sure my lady would love that, Your Highness. I will let her know of the arrangement for the morning.” The prince’s hand clutches the plate, nearly shaking with the nerves of asking such a bold question, but it seemed like the best opportunity to talk more with you. “And I promise not to intrude on your private conversations.” 

“Thank you.” He bows to her, a genuine smile on his face as she walks back over to you. For a fleeting moment, he contemplates going to the town doctor, asking him about the ailment that has affected him to the point that his heart feels like it is going to burst out of his chest. 

But he knows the answer.

It’s you.

“Should our kingdoms merge, I know that our armies would be nearly unstoppable.” Sylus’s lips curl into a proud smile. “We have made remarkable advancements in the fields of weapons, and as you have seen, I have a room of specialty-made flintlocks of my own.” 

Humming along to his words, you rock on your heels. Tarus is stunning, and his palace itself is unlike any other. Yet, him speaking as if it were a political movement had your heart sinking just a bit. 

It isn’t until Tara comes up to your side that you smile genuinely. “It was a pleasure speaking with you, Your Highness.” You bow, shaking his hand while leaning against Tara. “Thank you.” You whisper as soon as he is out of earshot, a soft giggle coming from your lips as she leads you further away. 

And you realize something.

The whole time you spoke to Prince Sylus, your mind was stuck on Prince Xavier.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Being up before the sun even rises should be outlawed. 

The thought comes to you as you watch Tara folding pajamas and outfits for the next day before placing them in the small case. It’s not much, but then again, the trip is only for a day. You'll be going to Philos, touring the kingdom, and talking more with the prince about everything before taking your leave the next afternoon.

There isn’t much time left before the end of the season, when the suitors will leave with their engagements while they give up on chasing the diamond. Some of the men have already found their wives, which doesn’t help your predicament because you are stuck . 

With it coming to an end, you are determined to find a husband. Your heart tells you that both Prince Sylus and Prince Xavier hold some affection for you, but you’re not sure which path to take. 

The Prince of Tarus has strength and audacity, while the Prince of Philos is elegant and gentle. In the back of your mind, you’ve already made your decision, but the anxieties of picking the man you’ll spend the rest of your life with eat at every fibre of your being. 

“There is one more thing before we depart, My Lady.” Tara has a glint of mischief in her eyes, her smile turning sickeningly sweet while you slip on satin gloves almost up to your elbow. “We have… changed the arrangement of the carriages.” 

“Oh?” It isn’t until you are walking through the halls that she continues. 

“The Prince has asked for us to accompany him in his own carriage to Philos. He came to me directly last night while you were busying yourself with trivial matters.” Those trivial matters were meeting with other suitors, but she was right. “And I agreed for you.” 

“So you can just make decisions for me now?” It’s said with a teasing tone, your eyebrows raising and a smile curling the corners of your lips up, before you’re rendered into silence by your mother clapping.

Her arms wrap around you, pulling you close. “Some of the men that have found wives have already left.” Good . “And your special suitor awaits you, sweetheart.” 

You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face betrays your excitement. “He is no special suitor –”

“Nonsense, of course he is!” She interrupts you, cupping your cheeks with her hands. “He and I had a nice conversation whilst waiting for you.” Another roll of your eyes, though the rapid pace of your heart quickens. “And I think he would make an amazing son-in-law.” 

“We shall see about that.” You don’t mean to sound picky, but after growing up with loving parents who devote time to each other despite ruling over a kingdom, you could say you are just a bit spoiled. “I am hoping that this trip will help finalize my decision, and I may take myself off the market by our next garden party in a week.” 

Her hands squeeze your face, eyes flickering across your features. Oh, how you’ve grown up. She thinks, her smile morphing to one of nostalgic melancholy as she lets you go. “Do not rush into things, sweetheart. You know what your father and I have told you.” 

“I know, and I am not.” Your fingers wrap around her wrists, squeezing as if to offer some sort of comfort. “I… am starting to understand the feelings in my heart, and I must confirm them. Then, I will be able to make my decision.” 

“That is my princess.” Your mother’s eyes are windows to her heart, showing you the infinite love and affection she has for you as she watches you grow up. “I am so proud of you.” 

The only thing you can do is nod because as soon as you look toward the front of the palace, you catch the eyes of the prince. 

It is as if the sky has kissed him, adorning his suit with a blue reminiscent of the most beautiful forget-me-nots in the garden. Remains of the morning clouds are too faint to see in front of the wide expanse of cerulean that greets you as you let your eyes wander up. 

It is beautiful. It is Xavier. 

“Good morning.” You bow, trying to steel your expression, but his hand reaches out for yours. He dips low, hiding his face as the tips of his silver hair dust your satin-gloved wrist. The warmth of his fingers transfers through the fabric, and there is an inexplicable tension that has been ever-present between you. 

“Good morning, Your Highness.” His eyes are a bit more intense as he looks back up at you, as if you are the sun, and he is prepared to go blind looking into your center. “The ride to Philos is not long. I hope you do not mind the arrangement I asked of your lady.” 

You can already see a mop of curly brown hair inside the carriage - which is huge . There are seats on either side large enough for him to nearly lay down on, and dark curtains obscure any passersby from peering in. His friend, Jeremiah, is finishing up setting the cushions down, and he smiles at you while straightening out his jacket. 

“I do not mind.” Your breath is taken from you when his fingers wrap around your hand, tugging just enough to have you following his lead. “In fact, I think I prefer this. It will give us more time to chat.” 

“Very well. Shall we set off, then?” His fingers are still gripping you, walking just enough to allow you the space to pull away should you want to. You do not want to. 

“Yes, let us set off.” Jeremiah gives you a smile and nod as Xavier helps you into the carriage. Luckily, the dress you are wearing doesn’t impede on the entrance, nor does it become uncomfortable as you take a seat on one of the plush pillows sitting on the bench. 

Tara follows, setting the bag of clothes to the side as Jeremiah holds out a hand to help your lady-in-waiting inside. There is a pillow beside him that she sits on, nodding and smiling while also keeping an eye on you. 

As the horses set off, the carriage becoming but a blip on the horizon, the air in the carriage turns tense. Nobody dares to speak, your eyes flickering between the other three people until you catch Tara’s. Her head jerks toward the man sitting next to you, his knees nearly brushing against yours with each bump of the wheels on the pavement. 

“I have never visited Philos before.” The start of the conversation is always awkward, dancing between emotions until you finally settle on an airy and excited one. “You have told me of the endless forests and infrastructure, but it will be different to see it for myself.” 

Once your eyes meet the prince’s, you are mesmerized by the way the rising sun casts a gold hue on his features. If he didn’t look like royalty before, he is something akin to a god now. 

“It will be different, but I hope that you find beauty in the contrast between my kingdom and yours.” He clears his throat. “My father – the King – is gone on a trip to another territory, so you will not have to worry about him meddling in our business.” 

Business? Is that what this is? You think, your expression turning sour before you force a smile on your face. Though you are curious about the specific details of the King’s endeavors, you don’t push the matter, especially not with the word choice he has made. 

Another bout of silence comes and goes, your fingers playing with the laced band around your middle. The warmth of his body radiates around you, and you find it hard to relax when he is sneaking glances at you every chance he gets. 

Grasslands morph into thick brush, which is filled with the harrowing caws of birds and the clicking of some unknown animal. A bit of fear strikes you, but after seeing the prince perform so well during the fencing competition, you don’t believe that a mere animal would be able to take him down easily. 

“How have you enjoyed the time in Linkon?” Tara is the next to break the ice, her smile directed at both Xavier and Jeremiah. 

The two exchange a look, and it is impossible to determine exactly what they are thinking when more than a second passes by before they sit back in their seats. It is as if whatever Jeremiah does, Xavier copies, but the almost imperceptible bob of his Adam’s apple gives away his nerves. 

“We have, Your Highness.” Jeremiah smiles, the apples of his cheeks poking out slightly. He has a charm to him that is undeniable, but the intrigue just isn’t there. It is not like you haven’t tried to find that spark in others. It is impossible to start a fire with no kindling. 

“Your palace is beautiful.” Xavier interrupts, nodding along to his words as if he’s agreeing with himself. “And the Queen is a delight to speak to.” 

“She told me that you spoke to her.” You frown, tilting your head and putting on a rather exasperated look. “Please tell me she did not share stories from my childhood.” 

The prince laughs, his whole chest shaking with delight as he leaned forward. His knees sit on his thighs, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him look so relaxed. The curve of his spine isn’t one allowed in royalty, for the elders would snap you back to the right posture, but it’s a welcome change to the pin-straight back he always portrays. 

“I – I can assure you she did not.” One of his hands rubs the back of his neck, and with slow blinking eyes, he tips his head up to look at you. “But now you are making me want to ask her next time we meet.” 

“There will be a next time?” Your surprised expression brings another chuckle from his lips, and you forget all about the other two people in the carriage. 

“I told her that whenever she wishes, just call upon me, and I shall arrive.” His smile turns a bit somber. “Regardless of the outcome, she is a lovely woman, and I think that our kingdoms will prosper for years to come.” 

You don’t say anything, your mind too caught up in his admission. Was he giving up? It surely seems as though he is. The way he is speaking as if he assumes your choice will not be him. It still weighs heavy on your heart, but you are steadfast in your approach to everything. 

Lifting the curtain, you watch the houses and communities of Philos pass by. Some people stand in the streets and stare as your carriage navigates winding roads. They look pleasant, with smiles on their faces and arms waved in greeting. 

“Your people seem to like you.” You comment, thinking about if they would be happy to see their Crown Prince give up his title just for you. 

“They are fond of me, not my parents.” The smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “There are many scholars that meet with me regularly to assist in our research at the palace. In return, they are offered appropriate compensation for their efforts.” 

Generous . The trait drifts into your head, and you can’t help the flutter in your heart as he speaks so highly of the people of Philos. There is a light in their eyes as they wave at you that has a natural glow. 

Children play in the street, their happy cries filling the air even as the morning breeze sweeps through. Toys sit in front of homes without being taken. Bikes fly through the streets as they gather to get a glimpse at the Crown Prince. 

One of them even raises a hand to the carriage, her eyes shining blue like the most stunning diamonds. Her smile is contagious, and you find yourself mirroring the pure glee on her face. 

“Hello! Who are you?” With it stopped, the other children stand a respectable distance away, knowing the dangers of those large wheels. This little girl, however, gazes up at you with a whimsy that you match with a soft laugh. A yellow dandelion dress flows in the wind, and glitter moon clips decorate her dark brown hair. 

“Hello.” With the window open, you are able to reach down and shake her tiny hand. “I am a princess from a neighboring kingdom.” Her eyes light up even more than you thought possible. “It is nice to meet you.” 

“Are you going to marry Prince Xavi?” The nickname pulls a giggle from your lips, and you’re all too aware of the three sets of eyes watching the interaction. It takes everything in you not to look back at Tara for assistance or even gauge the reactions of the two men in here as well. 

“Perhaps.” It’s the best answer you can give, and as she holds your finger in her chubby hand, you see hints of Xavier’s light in her. Maybe all people of Philos have that innate brightness in them that follows them wherever they go. “I am still making my decision.” 

She giggles, holding a small jump rope in her other hand. A few other kids call out to her to come back and play. “Prince Xavi is very nice. He reads to us sometimes, and he lets us come into the palace!” 

“Does he?” You smile, seeing the children calling out to the little girl. “Well, thank you for that information, cutie. Your friends are waiting for you.” 

Her wide grin shows off all her teeth, and she nods before giving you a wave. “Bye–bye, Princess!” 

“Goodbye, cutie.” You wave as the carriage begins moving again, your head tucking back inside to face three smiling people. 

Tara raises her eyebrows, Jeremiah glances at Xavier, and the prince himself has a deep red blush stretching across his cheeks. His eyes are wide, lips parted, but as he catches your eye, he immediately looks down to his feet, his hand massaging the back of his neck as if he has a cramp or something. 

“She was adorable.” You break the silence and are met with nods of confirmation before another stop. A knock comes from the front of the stagecoach, and Xavier tries to stand, only for his head to hit the roof. 

His movements are a bit awkward. His cheeks flush red, and his eyes cast down as he opens the door and holds out a hand to you. “Welcome to my palace,” he says. 

Resting your hand in his, you step out into the sunlight, and your jaw drops. 

It is a magnificent palace, with large towers bookending the sides and one tall building in the middle. A part of you compares it to your own, knowing that yours is slightly bigger and has more intricate arrangements on the outside, but this one seems perfect for the aesthetic of the kingdom. 

“It is beautiful.” You nod as he leads you inside. Behind you, you hear Tara and Jeremiah whispering, but the weight of his hand under yours guides you in through the entrance to see the large foyer. Paintings litter the walls, and a high ceiling makes way for a chandelier with warm white light radiating from it. 

“Thank you.” His voice is gentle, not like the deep and somewhat harsh tone from when you first made his acquaintance. Though it does not sound like he is very happy with the compliment. “My father redesigned it after he took the throne.” 

There is a bitterness there, hiding beneath the surface of each syllable that forms with his lips. You don’t dare comment on it, lest some of the workers in the palace hear and relay the message. The last thing you need as the diamond of the season is a last-minute scandal. 

He takes you on a quick tour, showing you important rooms such as the ballroom and banquet hall. All the while, his hand stays in yours. His fingers wrap around your palm, and you wish that you could take the barrier of satin fabric away to feel him directly. 

The warmth of his hand in yours is a constant reminder that he is right by your side, and it brings a strange comfort to your beating heart. Being in an unknown land, with only your lady-in-waiting to confide in, is quite scary, you realize, but with his presence beside you, the scent of some musk mixed with a clean soap washing over each step you take, there is a safety in that feeling.

There is a moment of respite as a chef brings some tea and a small bite of food before you retire to your bedroom. 

The bedroom in question has two beds, one for you and one for Tara. You insisted on sharing with her just in case anything happened. It seemed comfortable from the glimpse you had before Xavier pulled you away to see another room of paintings. His family loves art, with multiple rooms dedicated to specific artists. 

“I will need to step away for just a moment.” The prince says, his hand leaving yours for the first time since you stepped off the carriage. “Excuse me.” 

The moment he is out of the dining hall, Tara steps in front of you. “He has not stopped blushing the entire tour of the palace, My Lady.” Her eyes are wide, and her smile is even wider as Jeremiah also slips out to follow his friend, leaving you both alone. “It is as if he is a lost puppy at your beck and call.” 

“I would not say that.” You shake your head, still suspicious of his intentions. Perhaps you are just being overly cautious, and perhaps your own feelings are starting to cloud your judgment. 

“Well, I would.” She laughs, her hands landing on your shoulders and shaking slightly. “Do not keep downgrading his efforts.” Her voice dips down low, trying to avoid the echo in the large room. “He has invited – no, begged – for you to visit his kingdom. Nothing he has done has given you the inkling that he is just doing this to jest with you, My Lady.” 

Her smile turns into a smirk, and your heart tightens as she leans in even more, your gloved hand gripping the teacup to avoid dropping it. “And you do not know just how he looked at you as you spoke to that adorable little girl. It was like…” She pauses, looking up as if recalling the exact moment. “Like he was imagining you with a child of your own… His child. ” 

With your bottom lip tucked between your teeth, you dip your head. Heat rushes through your entire body, and what is this strange feeling ? Your head is spinning, feeling a bit like you’re floating at just the thought of him looking at you like that. It overwhelms you, fills every crevice in your body until your heart threatens to burst out of your chest. 

Then everything goes black.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Voices…

They mumble and whisper around you, but you can’t discern what they are saying as your vision is clouded in darkness. 

“I do not know what happened, Your Highness.” Tara whispers, fanning your face that is damp with sweat. In one moment, you are smiling at the prospect of his affections being genuine, and the next, you are collapsing in the banquet hall. “She just fell.” 

Xavier sits on the edge of your bed, the bed he arranged for you in his palace. It’s high in a tower, overlooking his kingdom while also giving you a good glimpse of the stars, with many stairs he had to climb with your limp body in his arms. He was not letting you go, even as the palace doctor rushed in to examine you, stating that there was nothing wrong and you would be fine once you awakened. 

As you finally stir, there is a throbbing sensation in the side of your head, and an involuntary groan falls from your lips. Light pierces your eyes, and you’re met with a hand on your forehead and three people looking at you as if you are a ghost. 

“What… Happened?” You ask, your voice a bit hoarse. The sun is already beginning to dip down toward the horizon, bathing the room in a glow akin to a rising flame. 

“We are not sure, Your Highness.” Xavier is the first to answer, his hand resting on your bicep through the satin glove. “I stepped away for a few moments only to hear a noise and your lady in waiting calling for a doctor.” 

“You just collapsed.” Tara dabs at your head with a cloth, grabbing a pillow as you try and sit up. “Be careful, My Lady.” 

The prince’s gaze is intense, as if he is trying to read every single thought that is running through your head. At the moment, it’s not much. 

“Oh.” It’s all you can muster, but your energy already seems to be coming back to you as you look around at the worried expressions. The intense pain in your head lulls into a gentle throbbing, and you find your voice in the back of your throat. “I will be fine… It was just a little fall.” 

“Please listen to her, Your Highness.” Xavier’s deep voice cuts through the air in the room, sucking it out until you can barely breathe. It’s like he is back to the stoic and emotionless man he was in the garden weeks ago. “I do not wish to have to carry your limp body again.” 

He carried you ? Tara is silent as you look to her, but there is a hint of a smile that confirms his words.

“So you wish to carry my alert body?” Even in your weakened state, you force a laugh at the joke. It’s just a small tease, but the rosy blush on the tips of his ears, as well as the way his eyes flicker down to his hand on your arm, gives away his nerves. 

“Of course.” It’s the only thing he can say without stuttering, but even then, there is an almost imperceptible hitch at the end of those two words. 

The prince clears his throat, tearing his gaze away from you to Tara and Jeremiah, who are gathered around your bedside. “May I have a private word with the Princess?” It’s the first time he has addressed you as ‘princess’ and not ‘Your Highness’, the title sounding even sweeter coming from his lips.

His request is met with nods of confirmation. Tara finishes wiping the sweat from your brow before giving you a wink and following Jeremiah out of the room. 

Then, silence.

He is not speaking, but his thumb begins to stroke the side of your arm. Even through the satin glove, you feel his warmth. It’s then that you hear his ragged breathing, his flushed cheeks, and the slight pause before he speaks again. 

“You worried me.” 

It is the most straightforward he’s been, and in the depths of his blue eyes, you feel the sincerity in every syllable that is punctuated by a graze of his thumb on your wrist. His eyes travel across every one of your features, memorizing them as if you would disappear. 

“I am sorry.” You respond, and you mean it. The influx of emotions that overwhelmed you came to a point that your heart could not take. Maybe it was the true realization that you wanted him, or maybe it was the fear that he might not want you in the same way. But it all culminated when Tara gave you an outsider’s perspective that you actually chose to believe. 

“Do not apologize.” Another short sentence, but he follows it with a deep breath. “I was going to ask if you would like to go see the stars tonight.” A breathy chuckle leaves his lips, along with a hint of a smile that you know is completely genuine.

“You can still ask.” 

“But–”

“I. am. fine.” In a bold move, you reach out to wrap your hand around his wrist, tilting your head and giving him the same smile that you did the night of the ball. “Ask me.” 

He relaxes at that. “Alright.” His fingers release your wrist, turning instead to grip at your other hand as if it is his lifeline. “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to get a glimpse of the stars tonight?” 

His formality causes a giggle in your throat. Energy seeps into you from just being around him, and despite the slight throb in your temple, you dance your gloved fingers across his palm. 

“I would love to, Prince Xavier.” He helps you sit up further, and your eye catches the setting sun in one of the many windows. “Where are we going?”

“I know of a salt flat not far from the palace.” His voice is back to soothing and gentle, like knowing you're okay is bringing about peace in him. “I can bring a blanket, and we may sit and watch the sky.” 

“Should we depart soon, then?” It’s exciting, going on an outing such as this. Back at your palace, it is all flatland with little forests to create the aesthetic and mystery of the unknown. Though your kingdom is beautiful, there is a certain intrigue in the difference. 

“If that is alright with you.” He stands, holding onto your hand and helping you up as well. For a moment, he observes you, the way the moonlight trickles in and creates shadows that dance along the walls. As soon as he is sure you aren’t going to fall again, he moves to drop his hand from yours. 

You catch it.

The hesitance with which he touches you is disheartening. At some points, he is holding your hand as he shows you his palace, and the next, he is keeping his distance. So you force yourself to be bolder, your hand finding his once again. You hold it as if you were new lovers, an awkward grip that causes both of you to direct your eyes to the ground. 

“I need you to lead me there.” You whisper, your voice unable to reach higher as you revel in the way he holds tight. 

“Very well, Your Highness.” The dulcet tone of his voice strikes deep within you, and you wonder if he will ever cross the threshold into more than just the impersonal formality. “Follow me.” 

With his hand in yours, he keeps a close eye on you as he pushes open the door to your room. On the other side, Tara and Jeremiah are gathered together, their heads nearly touching. Both of them straighten up, head turning to face you.

“My Lady, are you okay?” Tara rushes over but is stopped by your hand.

“I am okay, Tara.” And it is true. Despite the slight headache and the lack of energy, you feel otherwise fine. “Truly.” She backs off a bit at the insistence, nodding and looking between you and Xavier. 

Xavier exchanges a look with Jeremiah. “We are going to take a stroll to see the stars.” Your hand leaves his, sliding up his bicep and nestling in the crook of his elbow. He tries to say something else, but the words are stuck, his face colored red. 

“I will not need your accompaniment.” It’s said as a whisper, but it feels as if you have shouted it to the heavens. “I do not believe we will be long.” 

Tara tries to keep her composure, but it looks as if she is going to burst at the seams. Looking back at Jeremiah, she is met with an almost matching smile and nod, and she takes a step back. “Very well, My Lady.” There is a warmth in her gaze, and you think about how grateful you are to her for always being by your side. “I will be waiting in the chambers for your return.” 

Xavier looks over at you, an eyebrow raised. “Are you ready, Your Highness?” With your nod as confirmation, he takes a blanket from a closet down the hall and leads you out of the palace and down a winding stone walkway. 

The forest is beautiful, you think as you take in the sights. Large trees line the small road along which you are strolling. He leaves you in silence, his steps measured and controlled. There are a few moments of tension as your hand grips tighter to his arm, wanting some sort of contact so you don’t lose him in the brush. 

“Wow.” The breath is stolen from your lungs when you walk into the clearing. 

A circle of trees makes way for a floor of grass. It’s big enough to frolic and run around in but not enough to seem vast and endless. A sanctuary in the middle of everything, where you can get away and enjoy the night. 

Up above, the stars shine bright in the sky, and you must admit that it is a stunning sight to be able to sit down beneath the vast universe and not feel its crushing weight. So many twinkling lights, and yet the darkness still seeps between the cracks.

The air is cool, brushing against your bare arms as Xavier spreads out the blanket. His shoulders flex, and it takes you a moment to realize you're staring, appreciating the light flush of pink on his ears that descends down his neck and to the apples of his cheeks. 

A hand reaching out pulls you back to reality, and despite the cold air whipping around you, a warm hearth sparks inside you. Accepting the hand, you discard your heels and cross your legs under your dress, the silky fabric soothing you from the biting wind. 

“It is beautiful, is it not?” His voice is somewhat between awe and indifference, his eyes reflecting the twinkling lights up above. You can’t force yourself to follow his gaze, too stuck on the man in front of you who is such a damned enigma that you truly can’t figure him out. 

“Yes…” You whisper, your stare never wavering. 

His eyes stay glued onto the stars, and while you admit they are beautiful from your periphery, there are much better things to see on the ground. Several minutes pass, his body heat radiating from him like a fireplace while you shiver at the slightest of breezes that ruffle the blanket by your bottom.

As if he senses your eyes on him, he turns to look, taken aback by the proximity. Leaning onto his palms, he puts just a bit of distance between you, his attention back on the sky. 

“That one is my f–” 

“What are we doing here, Your Highness?” Your legs curl under yourself, anger suddenly coursing through you at his dismissal of nearly everything you say. He is so mysterious, so emotionless, that you think at times it is impossible that he even has a heart. 

“What do you mean?” There it is. A semblance of disappointment as he furrows his brows. “I mean,” you stand, your bare feet exposed to the chilly air, “you are indifferent to me. Why have you even taken the time out of your busy life to travel to my kingdom and participate in the marriage season if you are not looking for someone’s hand?” 

Xavier stands as well, caught off guard by the sudden outburst. “How are you so sure that I am not there for someone’s hand?” 

A pause, and your nose scrunches up in annoyance and even more anger. How dare he act so calm about this? His soft tone of voice sinks into your skin, telling you that he’s sincere, but you’ve believed it too many times. Never again will you get your hopes up that he’s changing, that he’s giving you what you need in the hunt for your hand. 

“You have not spoken to anyone!” Your voice carries across the cosmos. “Besides me and your gentleman friend, I have not heard a word uttered to anyone else.” 

“I have spoken to the Queen.” His short sentence only infuriates you more, your eyes beginning to well up with tears of frustration. 

“Fine. If you are to be that way, then–”

“I have not spoken to anyone because I do not have the desire to speak to anyone.” The words drip from his lips as if just speaking them into existence is painful. His cheeks are red, the tip of his nose akin to a cherry as he takes a step forward. With a shaky breath, his eyes widen just enough to take in your crossed arms and the emotion swelling in your eyes. 

“Years.” He starts. “I have watched you from afar for years. Your grace. Your beauty. Your intellect. All of it has haunted me at those meetings. I have hung off of every word that has come from your pretty lips, gripping at each syllable as if I were listening to my favorite piece of music. Your voice sings me a symphony that I wish to play on repeat until the day I draw my last breath.” 

Your heart is in your throat, eyes wide, and lips parted slightly at his outburst. It is unlike him to lash out like this, and the frantic look in his normally peaceful eyes is alarming. 

“I have spent hours mapping out the contours of your face, so much so that should you give me a pen and paper, I would be able to draw you from memory, and it still would not hold a candle to how beautiful you are in front of me right now. At times, it was hard to believe you were not an angel sent from the heavens above to show the masses what true perfection looks like. But I am also selfish, and I want you to myself. I know which seat you prefer around the table of elders, and when given the floor to boast about your kingdom’s achievements, I can recite every pride-filled word you have said.” He takes one more step forward, waiting for you to push him away, but you don’t.

“What of your betrothe–” 

“She is nothing to me.” He clenches his teeth, sucking in a breath as if to compose himself. “A ploy sent my way to appease factions in this wretched kingdom while seducing me into a sense of autonomy. But with all the paths laid before me, I realize there is no other option. They all lead to you.” 

“I know I have not been the most cordial of your suitors.” Just the mention of the other men has him swallowing the lump in his throat. “I know that my dear friend, Prince Sylus, has caught your attention as well. I have flaws…” There is a furrow on his brow as he fights with himself. “I may not show it, but my heart has never been at rest since I first laid eyes on you so many moons ago. It yearns for you. I yearn for you .” 

Another step.

Then another. 

One more and he is right in front of you. 

Your vision is full of him. Of the way his eyes twinkle, of the rosy tinge in his cheeks, of his warm breath that comes out in pants. He seems almost feral, a need to speak like a dog has the need to bark at intruders. 

“You will lose your title. Your kingdom.” You reason, wanting to make sure he knows the ramifications of his decision. “I will become Queen of Linkon, and you will be my Prince Consort. You will not even be a King in the eyes of the kingdom.” Breaths mingle together in a tornado of intensity that feel as though you will fall over at any instant. 

He is speaking right as you finish your sentence, as if he had been waiting for that excuse. “I will gladly bestow my title to someone else. I have no need for this crown, and the people will not have to miss me often as I will be visiting my dear friend Jeremiah for his coronation as next Crown Prince.” 

“I only have need for you. In this vast nothingness of space, I want nothing more than to be by your side to the very end. I would face death with a smile if it means that you will be waiting for me at the steps of heaven.” He takes another breath, his hand reaching out, hovering over your hip. “I remember you speaking of the atoms that make up the stars being the same we are made of. Nothing would make me happier than knowing we are from the same star.” 

There is a beat of silence, and all you can hear is your ragged breathing and the steady thrum of your heart in your ears. His hand hovers so close, and your eyes flicker from his speckled blue irises to his pink lips. 

“Ever since I was a child, I was raised to fight.” Pleas weep from his words, drowning you in your own feelings. “No emotions, just the heavy metal of my blade connecting with everything in sight. I did not know how to use my heart for anything other than to keep me alive. Though I do not want anything except for you to breathe life into me.” His sentences are slower, as if soaking in the emotions for himself. 

“I am sorry for the sorrow I have caused you. Jeremiah’s courting lessons were lackluster, and after hearing the way Prince Sylus spoke to you, I was sure you would pick him.” His own eyes drift down to your tongue that pokes out to wet your bottom lip. “That still may be the case but… I wished on a shooting star moments ago that I would gather the courage to speak about everything going on in my heart and my brain.” 

“Your Highness?” Your voice cuts through the tense air. Unsure of what else to say, your hands shakily sit on his shoulders. 

“I…” Another pause, eyes closing for a mere moment before finding yours again. “I want to fight for you. To court you properly. It is hard to ignore the way I was brought up, but I wish to change for you. I wish to fight for you, just as I have these past few weeks, and to show you what true emotion feels like at the hands of someone who cares.” He’s almost pleading, and if you had told him to get down on his knees, he would gladly drop like a pin.

He takes another breath, dropping his arm back down to his side. “Do not tell me your decision tonight. Spare me the fantasy of just one last sleep that I may hold you in my dreams and not be reminded of the harsh reality when I awake. But please understand I am true in my intentions. I came to your kingdom to ask for your hand in marriage despite the objections of my father. I want you, Your Highness.” 

You don’t say anything, caught swimming in the ocean of his eyes, as even the trees grow silent. Nothing will come out, and you just force yourself to nod, too taken back by his sudden burst of emotion and sincere words to form thoughts of your own. 

“Let us head back, Your Highness. I am sure our chaperones must be anticipating our return.” His tone is much softer, the deep timbre still there but lined with a vulnerability you have not seen from him before. Before you can walk away, he steps in front of you, holding out his arm after gathering the blanket in the other. 

It is not often you are rendered speechless like this, the clicking of your heels and rushing intensity of the wind a backtrack to the synced beating of your hearts. His arm is bent into a perfect rest for your gloved hand, and you imagine him leading you down the halls of your palace after your wedding ceremony. 

As soon as you are back in the palace, your headache subsides into near nothingness. You are greeted with Tara’s concerned face. It is as if she senses your change in demeanor. Her arm wraps around you, bringing you toward your chambers. 

“Your Highness,” Xavier calls out, and when you turn to meet his eyes, a spark of electricity shoots through you. You see the subtle nuances of his jaw as he smiles, the crinkle of the corners of his eyes… “Good night. I shall see you in the morning.” 

“Good night.” You bow, your waist still supported by your lady-in-waiting. Shaky legs bring you to your bed, and you refuse to tell Tara anything that happened except for the muttered excuse that you are okay. 

That night, you dream of an extravagant wedding. 

Of course, your parents would put on only the best wedding for their daughter. With decorations throughout the entire palace, extending out toward the streets, the people of the kingdom cheer and celebrate with glee at the emergence of their new Queen. 

Your crown weighs heavy on your head, knowing that you will be shouldering the responsibility of your kingdom. Should anything happen, it will all be either your downfall or your golden opportunity. 

People cheer, waving and jumping at the front of the palace as you walk out to greet them. Your heart is a steady beat, and although the nerves begin to creep up at your feet, a steady hand wraps around your waist. 

“You are going to be an amazing Queen, my love.” Xavier looks over at you, letting you bask in the limelight. 

You wake up before you can share a kiss.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After an awkward carriage ride and a million questions by your parents on what transpired, you’re tired of answering. The confinements of your room are enough to satisfy you for the time being, along with the heavy weighted decision. Your mother made it clear you did not have to choose this season, yet what if you didn't? The thought of Xavier going and finding someone else threatens to break your heart in two. 

There it is…

“Are you ready, My Lady?” Tara puts the finishing touches on your tiara, pinning it to your hair to make sure it doesn’t fall off. “This is the end of the season.” 

“I know my mother told me I do not have to choose, that I may wait until next season…” You trail off, turning around as soon as she steps back. “But I think I am confident in my decision.” 

“Really?” Her sly smile creeps back onto her face. “And am I right to assume it is one of the two very eligible bachelors from Tarus or Philos?” 

Your smile gives you away, and she grabs your wrists and shakes them. “Oh my goodness! I always wondered what went on in that forest…” 

“Oh, stop it.” The way your eyes cast downward to your heels, the fabric of your dress kissing the tops of your feet. “I understand what my mother said about love, that it is very subtle. I have not felt anything like it, and I do not want to let the opportunity slip through my fingers.” 

As if she were the one getting married, she lightly tugs you out to the garden. Many sets of eyes stare at you, and Tara leans closer, her voice just a whisper. “Go to your husband, My Lady.” 

You see him before he sees you. His suit jacket is nearly the color of the sky that night in the forest, with specks of diamonds littered along the seams.

All your life, you thought of this moment as one filled with nerves, and when you were named the diamond of the season, it only skyrocketed your anxiety to new levels. However, despite the hardships of battling emotion and logic, one look at him, and you could feel your heart settle in your chest. 

A soft tap on his shoulder causes him to turn around, cheeks flaming instantly as soon as he meets your eye. With his hands glued to his sides, he bows, only for you to stop him with a hand on his bicep. 

“You do not have to bow, Prince Xavier.” It’s the first time in a while you have said his name, and he thinks he might pass out, and when you smile… wow . His lips curl up into a matching smile, and the warmth that blossoms in your heart is more beautiful than any sparkling star in the sky. 

He watches as you slip your satin glove off your hand, extending it out to him in an invitation. “If you still wish for my hand, then take it. It is yours, just as I wish to be yours.” 

There is a moment of silence, his eyes focused on the lines of your palm that are oh so inviting to him. Time seems to stop, and you think for a split second that he was not sincere, that the forest meant nothing to him. But before you can rescind your offer, you hear a soft release of breath. 

Prince Xavier takes your hand.

© starsforxavi

[cinnabunbunroll]

It felt illegal to be reading this masterpiece for free in Tumblr🙂‍↕️

[xavmc-week]

AO3 Collection for XavMC Week 2025

[LINK HERE]

How to Use:

METHOD 1

- Go to: link

- And directly post your fic in it.

METHOD 2

- In your fic’s editing options, head down to [Associations]

- Go to: Post to Collections

- Type: XavMC

the collection will automatically appear

- Click on it. And done!

Your fic will be added.

[cinnabunbunroll]

Songs that remind me of Xavier for one reason or another because I totally don’t have anything important to do at the time

🪐Rewrite The Stars by James Arthur, Anne-Marie

It reminds me of Queen!MC and Xavier a lot. “Male voice” encouraging to go against the rules, assure that they can do it together, and there’s nothing that can keep them apart, while “female voice” being hesitant, saying “no one can rewrite the stars”, and that they are rules to follow. Only difference being that, in the song, ending is happy:).

🪐E.T. by Katy Perry

I- not gonna lie, I saw a lot of edits in Tik Tok with Xavier with this song🙂‍↕️

“Could you be the angel? Could you be the devil?” reminds me of his duality in spicy cards — innocent and bunny-like looks contrasting to his daring and somewhat arrogant (in a good way, I refer to that head tilt) personality. Continuing with “futuristic lover”, “boy, you’re an alien”, it just fits so well.

🪐Young And Beautiful by Lana Del Rey

I see it as a letter/words of current!MC to Xavier after living the whole life together. Her being regular human being and him an “immortal”, she will inevitably get old and he will stay young forever. It sounds like her confessing her inner worries and him reassuring his love and devotion to her.

🪐Supernova Love by IVE, David Guetta

Mood of the song is so magical and ethereal, very fitting to his princely personality. It gives off royal ball vibes — many people dancing around, but all attention being drawn towards Xavier and MC. I also see it fitting pretty well to his Silvery Polyphony card.

🪐Parting by ONEWE

Whenever I listen to the song I feel such a huge longing, hopelessness, and loneliness, it just makes me think of the time he spent in spaceship with backtrackers. I think it fits well.

These are the songs that I happened to listen to, and they reminded me of Xavier. Feel free to share songs in your Xavier playlist!

[cinnabunbunroll]

Me being Xavier girly and keep getting Zayne in all quizzes needs to be studied. I talk about those like “Who’s your partner in LADS?” or “The most compatible LI with you”. Every. Single. Time. It’s Zayne. But you know what, heck yeah.

I just wonder, characters that we choose definitely are not purely coincidence, so could there be like a common statistics? Like people usually choose characters that they associate with (favourite LI) and get someone who compliments their traits in quizzes? Or, oppositely, they choose partners and get someone who’s close to their character in quizzes? Or, completely different logic and approach? I actually need study on this, lol.

[starsforxavi]

all your firsts

·······•✦ description: In which Xavier hid the fact that he hated hearing about your first kiss or your past relationship, the thoughts of someone else touching you how he wanted to touch you making him clench his jaw. But you can read him like a book... And you know something is up with him...

·······•✦ pairing: virgin!xavier x afab!reader ·······•✦ word count: 10.1k ·······•✦ genre: smut, porn with plot, fluff ·······•✦ general tags: Established Relationship, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Some spoilers for Xavier's Anecdotes, Loss of Virginity, First Time, Virgin!Xavier, First Time Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal Sex, Premature Ejaculation, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Reader-Insert, Creampie, Jealousy, Awkward First Times, just kinda awkward, Overstimulation, Aftercare, Multiple Orgasms, Missionary Position

·······•✦ posted on: ao3

The sun sat low over the buildings, casting a warm orange glow over the group of people who walked down the sidewalk. Laughter echoed through the streets, bars lit up with music already, and cars stuck in traffic as they tried to get home. Footsteps melded together as you all walked in sync, the destination already determined.

“You have to tell me what it was like!” Tara’s voice carried towards your ears, her mouth nearly next to your ear as she tried to speak over the loud music coming from the bars. When she got into the mood to talk about something, she didn’t let it go. So even though you felt Xavier’s hand tighten in your own, you continued, your eyebrows raised as you recalled.

“It wasn’t great. Neither of us knew what we were doing.” You shrugged, internally cringing as you thought back to the moment ages ago. The awkward feeling made you shiver as you walked, and Xavier’s hand had to steady you so you didn’t trip over a crack in the pavement.

“Oh my god, same here! He tried to shove his tongue down my throat.” Tara squealed, some of your coworkers looking back and laughing as you got closer to the restaurant. 

Of course, Tara suggested having dinner with coworkers as a part of a ‘bonding experience’ once a month. While Xavier didn’t really entertain the thought, his soft voice getting ready to decline, you cut him off, insisting that you and he would be tagging along.

“That sounds horrible. Your’s was way worse!” Becoming too caught up in the conversation, your grip on Xavier’s hand loosened, and you leaned closer to her. “Mine missed my lips at first and kissed my cheek… It was cute for how young we were, but not a great first kiss.”

The topic of first kisses spread throughout the group, with people recounting their experiences as they waited in line for the restaurant. Yvonne laughed and talked about her first kiss nearly head-butting her in grade school, and some of the male coworkers blushed, realizing that their first kiss probably went very similar. 

“Mine was just pressing our lips together, and his eyes were wide open!” The image made you double over laughing, Xavier’s hand loosening its grip on yours. He didn’t want to hear it, knowing that other people touched you just as he had or wanted to .

The line got smaller, and people went around telling their stories. By the time the table was ready, Xavier’s palm was drenched in sweat. You could tell he was uncomfortable, his eyes that so often focused on yours now drifting to the street. He lead you to the table, pulling your chair out for you and taking his seat next to you.

If it had been up to him, he would have changed the subject, his stomach turning at every single word he listened to you speak. It wasn’t fair to withdraw his hand from your leg; it was his own foolish brain that had him caught up in the past. He noticed the look you gave him after you all ordered your food, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

The sound of your coworkers talking caught your attention, drawing you away from your efforts to get Xavier’s attention. At times, it was hard for you to get him to look elsewhere; his eyes always focused on you. However, he looked at his plate, organizing the silverware and making sure they all sat in their respective places.

“Xavier?” Your voice pulled him out of his daze, just as it always did. It was often that you found him sleeping in unusual places or zoned out, and your voice always woke him. “Are you okay, baby?”

The sound of the nickname had Xavier’s heart beating rapidly before he thought about who else you called that in the past. It was hard for him to let go of the past; it stuck to him like glue, reminding him of times he wasn’t there for you. More than anything, the past ate at him, causing him to get lost in thoughts many times.

“Hm?” Xavier hummed, smelling the food put out in front of him. It looked delicious, and his stomach rumbled. Fighting Wanderers all day was exhausting, and nothing was better than eating a meal with you. Well, maybe eating a meal with you in the seclusion of your or his apartment. The man nodded, swallowing a bite of his food. “Yeah, I’m okay, just listening to the conversation.” That was a lie. He hadn’t heard one word that was uttered through the group since you sat down. You knew he was lying as well, your eyes narrowing as you nodded. It wasn’t good to argue in front of your coworkers, so you relented, making sure to remember to bring it up later.

“My last relationship ended in a mess,” Tara complained, taking a sip of her drink. Rolling her eyes, she leaned into you, acting like she was fainting. “He had the maturity of an 18-year-old, and I couldn’t handle the jealousy.”

“That sounds terrible. Jealousy is the worst.” You mentioned it in passing, listening to your other coworkers speak about their past. Though Xavier only heard the end of your sentence. Jealousy is the worst. He took a bite of his food, eyes directed towards the plate.

There were times you would notice a bit of jealousy from Xavier, his arm tightening around your waist or eyes narrowing slightly. Even though you hadn’t been dating for too long, you had been friends and work partners longer. It also just happened that you were one of the only people able to read him so well. Almost as if you had seen his expressions for ages.

It wasn’t until the conversation focused on you that you shrugged, taking a bite of food - and giving yourself the opportunity to think - before you answered. Looking around at your few friends, your eyes caught Xavier. He was playing with his food beside you, his breathing shallow.

“Oh, it’s been a while since my last relationship…” You started, feeling Xavier tense up just slightly beside you. It wasn’t something you talked about before, and you could feel how he hung off your every word. “We didn’t end on bad terms, and it wasn’t a long relationship… It just didn’t feel right.”

“So he wasn’t ‘the one’?” Yvonne air-quoted, eyes drifting over to Xavier and how he resembled a statue. Even his fork was frozen on his plate. When you nodded, she laughed, leaning on her hand. Her head flicked quickly to the man sitting next to you, hoping he didn’t notice (he did), eyebrows raised in curiosity. “Do you think you’ve found ‘the one’?”

It was your turn to freeze, and Xavier sensed it. The unusual fluctuation of your heartbeat that he was so in tune with. The way your breath hitched as she finished her sentence. Everyone else was waiting for your answer, but Xavier already knew. The bond you shared spanned across centuries and planets. Of course, you had found the one.

“I… I think so.” Nervousness seeped into your words as you snuck a glance over to Xavier. His jaw was tight, holding back on announcing his undeniable and immortal love for you. You didn’t remember all the other times, but there wasn’t a moment of his life that he didn’t dedicate solely to you. Clearing your throat, you locked eyes with Xavier, your fingers gripping your fork tighter. “I hope so.”

With that, Tara directed her attention to Xavier. He had been quiet, even quieter than he normally was around the office or in conversation. Xavier felt eyes on him, but he didn’t pay attention to them, focusing on your sparkling irises under the restaurant lights. It wasn’t until you shot him a questioning look that he snapped out of it. 

“Huh?” His head tilted, giving Tara a confused look. A giggle fought out of your throat, finding his absentminded staring endearing. He always seemed older than he said, his eyes telling stories from galaxies far away. 

“I said ,” She sighed, not actually upset at Xavier for ignoring her. “We’ve heard from everyone at the table about previous relationships but you! Got any good stories for us?”

Silence fell on the table as everyone leaned forward in anticipation. There was talk among many of your coworkers about Xavier’s personal life. Everyone wanted to know if he was charmed by anyone before you, as he always seemed so preoccupied with being the best Hunter in Linkon.

A soft pink crept on his cheeks for just a moment, quick enough for you to notice it but not for anyone else to say anything. It had been a few seconds before he straightened his back, shrugging nonchalantly.

“I don’t see why any of that matters. The past is the past.” His heart ached to say that because, to him, it wasn’t true. The past was also his present and future, all at the same time. But they wouldn’t understand. “All that matters is who I’m with now.”

As his gaze drifted to you, your skin pebbled with goosebumps. Your relationship was still new, drifting over the line from coworkers to lovers. Yet he looked at you like you were the sun, moon, and stars. Like he saw your face in every constellation and still went out stargazing every night.

“So this is your first relationship?” Tara let out a strangled noise as she asked impatiently, shaking her head at Xavier’s answer. She, more often than not, meant well, but you tried to put a hand on her arm, not wanting to embarrass your boyfriend.

“Yeah.” It was all that needed to be said, sincerity laced in every letter. Some would be embarrassed, but Xavier was neutral. He waited for you, found you, and didn’t intend to let you go. It’s how it always was and how it always will be until he ceases. The stares of your coworkers did nothing to him, his eyes going down to his last bite of food.

“Oh, that’s cute! You get to teach him the ropes.” Yvonne’s eyebrows wiggled as she looked at you. Her teasing expression only made you shrug, picking at the last of your dinner. The outing was winding to a close, and all you wanted to do was go back to your apartment.

After finishing your meal, you laughed, shaking your head. If only they knew how Xavier taught you how to appreciate the little things. How he was unwaveringly dedicated to you to the point that he lost sleep worrying about you. He taught you how to be cared for… Maybe how to be loved, that was up in the air. You hadn’t uttered those words to each other yet.

It was true that you had experienced all the things that he hadn’t in a relationship, but you were playing it slow. Xavier was someone you really cared about, and you felt connected to him on such a deep level that it made your chest ache. If you ruined it by rushing into things, you couldn’t forgive yourself.

As the conversation drifted, waiting for the waiter's check, you looked over at Xavier. He was already staring at you, his mouth tilted in a slight frown. Time slowed down as your eyes met, his nose twitching as if lost in thought. All he could think of was preserving this memory in his head. You always looked beautiful to him, but having your attention, he could positively say that there wasn’t anything better than having you look at him.

When the check came, Xavier grabbed yours in a flash, already grouping his with yours. Since you started dating, there wasn’t a thing that Xavier would let you pay for. He would waste all his money if it meant having more of your time. Money was temporary; time was a gift that might run out at any point.

Xavier pulled your chair out for you, guiding you through the restaurant and to the front. After paying, you bid farewell to your coworkers, all surprisingly going in different directions. With a moment alone, you wrapped your hand around Xavier’s bicep, leaning into his side as you walked to your apartment building.

“Your apartment or mine?” It became a routine, having dinner at one of your apartments before separating for the night and sleeping alone in your beds. There were a few times you took a nap together, loving the way he nuzzled into your chest or wrapped his body around yours. However, you hadn’t extended that stay to the whole night.

“We already had dinner…” You trailed off, looking at him. It was already late, and although tomorrow was an off day for you both, there wasn’t much to do besides go to bed.

“Can we have a snack and watch some TV then?” His simple question was met with silence. The invitation did sound nice, the two of you not getting much time alone lately due to the influx of missions. “I just want to spend more time with you tonight.”

Your grip on his arm faltered as he said that, a smile gracing your lips. You shared the desire for some time together, which tugged at your heart. Most of your recent missions had been solo, and by the time you ate dinner, you were both ready to resign to your own apartments. Xavier just wanted more time .

“How about my apartment, then? I have more snacks at mine than you have at yours.” Your laughter echoed through the streets. Crowds of people outside the bars yelled and screamed, but all Xavier heard was your laugh. 

“Sounds good, honey.” His words dripped with comfort, seeping into your bones. If there was a place you wanted to be, it was wrapped up in his arms. Nothing made you feel safer; it was like you were invincible.

On the elevator ride up to your apartment, you laced your fingers with his. His palm was sweaty, his skin moist, and he tensed up when you held his hand. Softly, he shook his hand away from you, giving you a forced smile. He didn’t want you to see how anxious he was. 

Thoughts of earlier, your descriptions of your first kiss and your last relationship. Xavier couldn’t help his jaw clenching at the way his imagination ran wild. If only he was quicker at finding you… Maybe he would be your first kiss… Maybe he could have had just a little bit more time with you…

The sound of your lock turning broke Xavier from his internal conflict. His eyebrows furrowed as he made his way to your kitchen. From your months of friendship and shorter time of dating,, he knew your apartment well. It also helped that he would often come over for late-night snacks.

Letting him handle the snack, you turned on the TV, setting it to a random channel. It didn’t matter what was on; it wouldn’t be watched anyway. A documentary started, and planets and stars were projected onto the screen. The narrator started speaking about the galaxies, the camera panning to a beautiful graphic of a planet. You were captivated, hearing that it was light years away and would be impossible to reach in someone’s lifetime.

“What are you watching?” Xavier asked, sitting down next to you and setting the chips on the coffee table. As he watched for a moment, he felt his heart ache. Stealing glances over at you, he listened to the narrator speak. The concept of time was something that people struggled to grasp, yet as Xavier listened, it wasn’t so complicated to him. He would spend every waking moment of his life with you. It was that simple.

“Just some space documentary.” You wanted to look over at Xavier, but you were entranced by the sights. It felt as if you were traveling through the stars, sitting in your own spaceship with Xavier next to you. There wasn’t anywhere you couldn’t go and nothing you couldn’t do. 

As you sat together, absentmindedly eating a few chips, Xavier was lost in his thoughts. The documentary didn’t matter to him, his eyes glazing over and jaw clenching. He watched you, imagining another person kissing you, touching you, treating you in ways he wished he could express that he wanted to do. He traveled so far for you, his soul pulled across the cosmos… for you . 

Xavier sat back, head tilted onto the couch. He had to take a second, his mind sabotaging him into thinking about the past. It haunted him—past, present, and future. It all tightened around his neck like a noose, strangling him with the what-ifs and the what-will-be .

Noticing that the man beside you was silent, you looked over. His jaw was clenched again, and his hands were on his stomach. The eyes that normally looked at you with care and affection now looked at the ceiling. There was that look…

“What are you thinking about?” You leaned back, turning your body so you were closer to him. Your hand rested on his chest as you watched him breathe. Slow, methodical breaths like he was asleep, yet his eyes were open. 

The man’s breath hitched, your touch causing his nerves to come alive. He never felt truly alive until he was with you. If you weren't there, he would just immediately fall asleep as soon as he got home from work. You made him want to live.

“You.” Was his response. 

His eyes didn’t drift towards you, not wanting you to see just how vulnerable he was. For you to know just what he did to be with you, he didn’t think he wanted that. He had to be strong, hold you close, and never let go.

“What about me?” Your voice turned to a whisper, the music in the background of the documentary interrupting around the silence. It was comforting, but not as comforting as feeling Xavier’s heartbeat under your hand. 

He hummed, his fingers thrumming on his stomach. Every atom in his body begged to reach out and hold you, pull you into him so that every particle of him connected to every particle of you. His soul was put on this planet to be with yours. He felt that, and he was sure you felt it too.

“I’m… Thinking about earlier.” He tried to be vague, skirting around his jealousy. A low heat settled in his stomach as he thought about it. But the past was the past; he should let go…

“About what I said?” You asked. Even though he tried to hide it, you saw right through him. In the weeks before you started dating, you noticed the looks he gave some of your male coworkers. It wasn’t possessive but rather somewhat cute how you were able to see through him. 

Xavier nodded, a long sigh escaping his lips. It wasn’t that he was jealous - even though he kind of was - it was the fact that he couldn’t get to you in time. He knew he was your person, and knowing you were with others at one point, having to figure out that they weren’t meant for you. If only he found you quicker… You would have been wrapped up in his arms a lot sooner.

“Yeah.” Another one-word answer… His throat betrayed him, his mind racing as he tried to put into words just how much he needed you. Mind, body, and soul. He was bound to you, his soul cursed - or to him, blessed - to find yours over and over. Since he had you, he had to experience you. All of you . 

“Do you want to elaborate?” As your hand started to leave his chest, he grabbed your wrist. Fingers danced up your arm to intertwine with yours. The grip he had on you, like a tether to this world, almost hurt. Weirdly, it was like a weighted blanket the way it comforted you, his warmth radiating from him like a sunset.

He hummed again, his eyes flicking back and forth between imaginary points on the ceiling. Perhaps they were long-lost stars, his vision reaching light-years away to gaze upon them. Xavier imagined you were both sitting on those stars, waving at each other from across galaxies.

“I just…” His voice was less than a whisper, and you had to lean closer to him to hear. “When was your last relationship?”

Xavier’s eyes were still far away, so he couldn’t see the frown on your lips. During dinner, it was obvious he was tense, and you knew that he might carry a bit of jealousy with him. His voice, though, was less jealous and more melancholic.

“Oh.” Silence settled between you for a moment before your thumb began massaging the back of his hand. It was hard to remember the exact date, memories of your time before Linkon came into view. “More than a year ago… Maybe two?” 

He nodded slowly, feeling your eyes on him. It took everything in him not to look at you because he knew he would crack. Biting his lip, he blinked, his hand that grasped yours tingling with electricity. Letting it sink in, he knew he had to be vulnerable. He was always honest with you, honest about his wants and needs. But he also always put you first, taking into consideration your reactions and emotions. If it were up to him, he would erase that person’s existence from this timeline and every other one of the past and future. He couldn’t stand knowing that someone else looked at you in the way he did.

“Okay…” He trailed off, his jaw once again clenching. The image of you under someone, your eyebrows scrunched in pleasure from someone other than him? His blood boiled as it pulsed through his veins. He desired no one other than you; no one would ever fill the empty spaces in his soul quite like you did.

“Jealous?” You smirked, the hand that wasn’t clasped in Xavier’s moving to cup his jaw. The way your thumb rubbed his chin, dangerously close to his lips. It drove him crazy . 

“No.” With a small tug, he pulled you into his lap, his hand disconnecting from yours to rest on your hip. He sat properly on the couch, his head tilting back down so his eyes met with yours for the first time since you got to your apartment. Stars danced in his eyes like lovers sharing a first dance at a wedding. “You’re mine now.”

In the months you’ve been dating, it was the first time he’s used such words: You’re mine . Such possessive words never slipped from his tongue, but it felt right . Yeah, you were his just as he was yours. There was an energy that brought you together, and if you believed in fate, then it was fate that put you there.

“And you’re mine now, too.” You repeated, your legs sitting on either side of his hips. Slowly, your hands moved up his arms to his shoulders. It wasn’t the first time you were in this position, but the tension between you was different. It was a gravitational pull that had you scooting up, your hips hovering over his.

“That’s right, honey.” His eyes shone bright, the moonlight from outside reflecting in his bright blue irises. The hand on your hip hovered, just the light brush of his fingers actually tickling your skin. It both excited and frustrated you at the same time. You wanted him to touch you, and knowing Xavier, the only way he would is if you said it out loud.

“You can touch me, Xav.” Your fingers threaded through his hair, testing the waters, giving him enough time to push you away. God , he would never push you away. If anything, he would pull you closer . Leaning closer, you brushed your nose with his, feeling both of his hands grip your hips more firmly. Your thoughts clouded as you bit your lip. “What you said earlier…”

“Yeah?” It was phrased as a question, his eyebrows raised. The hands-on your hips sat stiff, unmoving. Unsure of his actions, Xavier paused in case he did something wrong.

“Is it true?” The answer seemed obvious, but to hear it from his mouth once more was good enough. Knowing that he hadn’t experienced anything with anyone else was exciting and terrifying. Stuck between happy you would be the only person to watch him get lost in the depths of pleasure but scared that you wouldn’t satisfy him enough.

Xavier’s cheeks sparked pink, his lips twitching as he tried to formulate a response. He wanted to give you more than a one-word answer. You deserved poetry written in your honor, pages upon pages of love declarations from Xavier’s past, present, and future.

“Yes, it’s true.” He nodded, his thumbs slowly massaging above the waistband of your pants. It was a bit awkward, his hands moving like a robot, and you giggled. Wiggling your hips, you felt him through his jeans. A gasp fell from his lips, eyebrows scrunched together. When he spoke, his voice was tight, as if he were trying to force the words out. “I never felt quite as connected to anyone as I do to you.”

His gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips and then back up to your eyes. It was a frantic back-and-forth, and he wanted so badly to just smash his lips onto yours. As each word was spoken into the air, you felt his heart crying out to you. It was true: He has never and will never be connected to anyone else but you. He was your star that would always hang in the sky above, watching down on you.

“I can say the same to you. I thought we were just good mission partners.” Your fingers twirled his hair, recalling the day you met him. How familiar he looked when you saw him for the first time, yet you didn’t know his name. You had never met that man in your life, but why did he look so familiar? “But then I realized that our feelings ran deeper for each other.”

Smiling at him, you pulled back, feeling a sigh from his lips. You were teasing him, depriving him of the one thing he wanted - needed. It was vulnerable to admit those things to him, not wanting to strain your fresh relationship with such deep declarations of your feelings. But it was true.

Your hand moved from the back of his head to his jaw, your thumb running along his jawline. His breath hitched, hands gripping a little tighter at your hips. There were so many things he wanted to do to you, his thoughts catching up to him as he imagined you underneath him. He tried to get your attention, his head leaning closer to connect your lips. When you leaned away from him, you smirked.

“Honey…” His eyes glazed over, and his bottom lip tugged into his mouth. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” You confirmed, leaning into him and letting your thumb move from his jaw to his neck, swiping over his pulse point. A small jump came from the man below you, and you felt him twitch in his pants. Knowing the effect you had on him made you feel powerful, your arms erupting in goosebumps as you put more of your weight on his crotch.

“I’ve never been with anyone before, so there are a lot of firsts I haven’t experienced yet…” He gulped, feeling your weight press into his hips. Slowly, he moved his hands to your lower back, pushing until you were forced to fall onto him. Your noses brushed, eyes wide at his bold move. “Can you be my firsts? I want to experience them all with you. Every little thing.”

Instead of answering him right away, you closed the small distance, pressing your lips to his. Breaths mingled as you traced his bottom lip with your tongue. Just as he always did, he opened his mouth, inviting you in. Your tongues explored each other, mapping out familiar bumps and dips. It was a slow, languid kiss, and if Xavier could stop time at this moment, he would. There was no other place he wished to be but in your arms.

You pulled away a few inches, your eyes flicking between his. Pink blossomed on his cheekbones, his ears hot as he felt the intensity of your gaze. His hands moved back to your hips, but you reached down, grabbing his wrists and bringing them to their previous spot. It was exhilarating, feeling him touch you and press you closer to him.

“Are you sure you want that?” Your touch on his shoulders sparked the fire in him, and the way you guided his hands made him squirm below you. “Every little thing?”

It was a frantic nod of his head as he kissed you again. He grabbed at the back of your shirt, almost like at any moment you would disappear. Your thumbs trailed down to his collarbones, feeling them through his shirt. You wanted to touch every inch of him, listen to his moans, and feel his heartbeat increase as he was overwhelmed by pleasure.

“Yes, I’m sure.” His confirmation was spoken against your lips, need pulsing through him as he kissed you again. “Can we go to your room?”

“Yeah, we c- oh!” As you tried to say yes, Xavier startled you by standing up. His hands held your thighs, biceps flexing as he held you close to him. It was awkward, and he took the slow steps to your bedroom unsure and tentatively. You weren’t too heavy for him; it was just hard for him to navigate when he couldn’t see where he was walking.

“Ow,” Xavier mumbled, a bang coming from beneath you as he kicked a corner of the hallway. Laughing, you buried your face in his neck, kissing the junction between his shoulder and throat. 

“Xavier!” You laughed harder, feeling your back hit your bedroom door. He thought it was already open, but he just walked straight into it. To get back at him, you nipped at his skin, a low groan coming from him as he reached down slowly and turned the doorknob.

“Sorry, sorry.” He repeated, setting you gently on the bed. Rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, he looked at you. “Did I hurt you?”

Another small laugh as you shook your head, holding your hand out to him. “No, just startled me. Now come here.”

He obeyed, taking your hand and letting himself be guided to sit on the bed. Seconds felt like centuries as you climbed back into his lap. Your lips ghosted over his neck, and your hands tugged at the hem of his shirt.

For being a Deepspace Hunter, Xavier was quite clumsy sometimes, his arms flailing around as he tried to rid himself of his shirt quickly. Maybe it was just that he so desperately wanted you to touch him, to be bare for you and allow you to drink every inch of him in.

Warm hands pulled you closer, Xavier’s breath heavy as he searched for your lips. Being too excited, he missed once, his lips grazing your cheek before pulling back. He was only stunned for a moment, bringing himself back to reality. Cupping your cheeks, Xavier leaned in properly. A low moan escaped the man below you as he connected your lips. 

Your tongues dance, your noses brushing and bumping together as Xavier became more animalistic. A drop of spit escaped the corner of your mouth, trailing down your chin before falling on Xavier’s heaving chest. As you pulled away, he looked at you, pupils blown wide as he took in the way you looked. Just as desperate and messy as he probably did.

Moving apart gave you the perfect opportunity, your kisses moving from his face to his jaw and then eventually to his neck. Soft gasps came from Xavier as your tongue brushed his skin, your lips leaving wet patches. Slowly, you kissed across his shoulder, treating his body as a map. Each place you kissed was a memory of you. No one else touched him like this, and you were given a blank canvas to create roads and valleys at your leisure.

“Honey…” Xavier moaned, the way you trailed kisses across his body, your hands also running over his muscles. It was all so much . He wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted, thoughts muddling together in one clump in his brain. There was one thing he was certain he craved, though. You . Always you.

“Hmmm.” A hum caused him to groan, his hands falling from your hips and resting on your shoulders. Your voice vibrated through his body as you wrapped your lips around his nipple. The way his fingers gripped your body had his hips rising off the bed slightly.

“Fuck,” It was unfair, Xavier feeling your heat through your shirt. How was it that he was the one stuck underneath you, shirt discarded somewhere on the floor? But as your hand brushed his other unused nipple, he couldn’t actually remember what he was thinking a second earlier. Another expletive was forced from his lips, his thumb brushing against your pulse point.

Not wanting to torture your poor boyfriend, you continued your road. His abdomen was hard, both from pure muscle and the contracting need in him as he bucked his hips up. Each kiss on his skin only forced him further to the edge. If you continued like this, he would have to do laundry tomorrow, his pants and underwear ruined by a premature release.

Yet it was exciting, so Xavier let you continue your path, your tongue dipping in his naval before sucking a mark right next to it. If you were going to make marks, it would be where only he would see them. Fingers gripped your hair, his hands flexing as he felt your teeth nip at the side of his hip.

You followed a small tuft of hair right below his navel, your fingers playing with the button on his pants before finally popping it free. Being impatient, you pulled his pants and underwear down on his thighs just enough to pull his cock out. He was so pretty as you looked up at him. His cheeks were as red as his tip, his chest heaving, and shining kisses trailing around his body.

His cock was pretty, too, curved towards his chest and throbbing under your fingers. Long but not thick, the perfect size to press right against your spongy walls but not stretch you painfully. Shying away from your eyes, Xavier looked away. He couldn’t take it, watching you admire his cock like it was the newest constellation in the sky.

So it came as a surprise to him when he felt your tongue wrapping around his tip and dipping into his slit. Your mouth was warm and wet, and Xavier instinctively chased that, lifting his hips. He moaned when you looked up at him through your lashes, your hand splayed on his thigh as you held him down.

“Behave, baby.” You warned him lightheartedly, knowing he was experiencing it for the first time but not wanting to end up with a bruised throat by the end of it. Xavier’s mouth hung open as he watched you place open-mouth kisses along his length, tongue flicking out to taste his salty precum that had dripped down. His eyes never left yours, wanting to commit the visual to his memory. 

“You look beautiful like this.” His words came out rushed, a low moan following as you wrapped your lips around his tip again. A flush spread from his cheeks to his neck, all the way to his chest. Watching him carefully, a hand still pressed into his hip, you lowered your head. He throbbed in your mouth, his tip just quickly pressing into the back of your throat before you pulled off.

Your other hand slowly jerked him off, seeing the way his eyes moved from your hand to your face. With a sadistic smile, you ran your thumb over his tip, rubbing and pressing into his skin, and you relished in the surprised gasp and hint of a whine from the man below you. With slow, tortuous strokes, you licked a stripe up his cock, sucking at his tip as your hand moved to cup his balls.

Xavier’s hip wiggled, his thighs flexing as he used every ounce of strength to not cum. His thumb smoothed over your forehead, fingers scratching lightly against your scalp as he nearly bit into his bottom lip. His normally calm heartbeat was thrumming against his chest, entranced by how enthusiastic you were to do this to him. Arching your back, he noticed the curve, your ass in the air and thighs clenching.

“No,” Shaking your head, you stroked him slowly. Your tongue poked out to run along your bottom lip, the taste of his salty precum lingering. “ You look beautiful like this.”

Xavier’s fingers strained against the sheets, his abdomen flexing as you watched him. The light dusting of hair right above his cock shone in the overhead lights of your room, a trail leading you to what you needed the most.

“Fuck, can’t do this.” His throat tightened, the shackles in his heart rattling as he took in how ethereal you looked. He gently pulled at your hair, urging you to come back up. “I don’t want to cum right now…”

With a chuckle, you straddled him again, his bare cock now pressed against the seat of your pant fabric. He let out a shaky breath, hands holding your hips as you kissed him. The salty bite of your tongue against his caught him off guard, but it also excited him more. You had tasted him, and now more than ever, he ached to get his own taste test.

“How do you want me? I want to go at your pace.” Your hands played with the hair at the back of his head, and your eyes traced his features. A light blush on his cheeks transitioned to deep red ears . 

After a moment, Xavier looked up at you, his normally bright blue eyes shifting into something a bit darker. Like the sky before a hurricane, the blue darkened into indigo, only adding fuel to the fire ignited in your lower stomach. It took a moment for him to regain his composure, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes struggling to stay open.

In a flash, Xavier sat up, his hands holding your hips as he tried to flip you over seamlessly. However, a soft thud echoed through the room as your head collided with the wall. With wide eyes, Xavier watched you rub the top of your head, and before he could ask if you were okay, you laughed. Grabbing his shoulders, you pulled him down to your lips, kissing the corners as you looked up at him.

“I’m okay.” You fought out between laughs, your body shaking as his lips turned down. Your hand cupped his jaw, forcing him to look at you. The soft smile on your face calmed him down, hands gently stroking your sides. “Don’t worry, Xavier. I’m really okay.”

Memories flashed across his eyes, and he thought of all the hurt he had watched you go through. He couldn’t live with himself if he was the cause of it. With a deep breath, unspoken words were shared, a gentle nod of your head helping spur him on. 

His lips teased your skin, fingers still shaking with worry as they drifted under your shirt. With you laid out on the bed, it was easier for Xavier to tug at your shirt. Nodding, you helped him get rid of the article of clothing. Seeing your bra, he tried to reach out, hands drifting behind you to play with the clasp. His long fingers struggled for a moment, a frustrated sigh coming from him until he finally got it.

Tossing it over his shoulder, his hands held your torso. Thumbs caressed your skin as he sat back. Need clawed at his skin, his whole body frozen. The blue eyes that always looked at you with care and affection held a deep, deep desire that you didn’t know he possessed. Sensing his hesitance, your hands drifted to your pants, playing with the button and fly. A silent question fell from your eyes, and Xavier answered it in his own silence. Yes, please…

“Take them off.” Your eyes drifted to his pants and boxers, still halfway down his thighs. Working at your own clothes, you watched him stand up frantically. Ripping at his pants, his stomach clenched as he stood next to your bed. When you looked back at him, standing there in all his glory, you spread your legs, your clit throbbing. You needed him . “Come here, baby.”

Xavier climbed onto the bed, kneeling between your inviting thighs. He touched you softly, his index finger lightly trailing from your knee up your thigh until he could grab hold of your hip and pull you closer. 

Staring at you, Xavier understood his purpose in life. He always knew he would follow you to the ends of the cosmos. But as he looked into your eyes, your body bare and waiting for him… There wasn’t anything that would get in the way of him loving you. He would follow whatever path you were on like a puppy, his nose trained to your scent.

I should put this in a letter , he thought, realizing that at that moment, letters weren't needed. You were right in front of him, ready to listen to whatever words he spoke. The brush strokes could be painted onto your skin, words embedded in your soul for you to remember for eternity. He had you now.

A minute passed, and your impatience grew fast. Needing his hands on you, his cock in you. His gaze made you shiver, the intensity causing your pussy to clench around nothing. Soft stroking of your stomach made you wiggle in his hold, a low whine coming from the back of your throat.

“Xavier.” You begged, mouth hanging open and a small trail of drool falling from the corner of your lips. Your thoughts were jumbled, only thinking about the way he touched you and how you so desperately needed more . “Please, do something… Touch me, kiss me, fuck me. Anything.”

For once, he wasn’t hesitant; he knew exactly what he wanted… So he leaned down, pressing tentative kisses to the front of your throat before moving to your shoulder. Nipping at your skin, he felt your gasp before he heard it. The path trailed down, kitten licks on your nipple, causing goosebumps on your arms. Your hand threaded through his hair, tugging on the strands, and a moan vibrated through you from Xavier.

Slowly, he migrated lower, his hands on the inside of your thighs and lips nipping at the skin of your stomach before he was where he wanted to be most. His eyes widened, the sight of your dripping pussy right in front of his eyes inviting him for a taste. Gentle rubs from his thumbs on your thighs caused you to sit up on your elbow, your fingers messaging his scalp. Looking a bit lost, you were going to help him but were caught by surprise when he dove in, flattening his tongue and licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit.

“Oh fuck .” You groaned, meeting his eyes as he pulled away, a dazed grin on his lips as your arousal glistened on his jaw. Just one touch and you were on fire, his hands drifting across all the right places and eyes devouring you whole.

He hummed, his tongue flicking out to collect more of your essence. Only one taste, and he was addicted . He dreamed about this, fantasized about finally seeing you, all of you. It felt like centuries ago when he looked into the depths of your soul, recording his adventures for the day he found you. All he could do was hope for a happy ending.

Your nerves were on end; eyes clouded with lust as you watched your boyfriend grind his hips into the mattress. Diving back in, his tongue traced every part of your pussy. Around your folds, around the hood of your clit, and curiously dipping into your entrance. It felt good , but he was searching for something. He wanted a reaction but wasn’t sure where to look.

“Xavier.” His name coming from your lips snapped him out of it for a moment, his hooded eyes finding yours. Another flick of his tongue collected the remaining juices from the corners of his mouth, and he nodded, waiting for you to continue. Your hands moved down, gliding over your thighs to spread your folds. He watched, entranced, as your fingers gently touched your clit. A sharp gasp ripped in your throat as you bit your lip, trying to show him exactly what to do. “Focus here.”

Nodding like an obedient puppy, the tip of his tongue got closer, your hole clenching as he passed around it. He knew he didn’t get it yet, so he scooted closer, his nose pressing against your pubic bone. With a small flick, he heard you yelp, your hand shooting to his hair to keep him exactly where he was. 

A smirk stretched his lips as he continued his assault. Hands held your thighs open as he devoured you like a man starved. And he was . He had been starved of you for his entire life, his soul partner, the one that completed all the parts he was missing. His brain melted, his head only filled with thoughts of you, spread out for him, begging for him.

“You can… fuck …” Trying to speak, you were preoccupied with the slight pain of Xavier’s fingers bruising your thighs, pleasure coursing through you as he put all his attention on your clit. “You c-can use y-your f-fuck fingers.” 

Immediately, Xavier’s finger was coated in your arousal as it traced your entrance. By his own inexperience or his fear of hurting you, he was slow . The feeling of your walls as his middle finger got up to the first knuckle had him groaning against your clit. Alternating between fast flicks and slow licks to your sensitive nub, he pressed in until he was all the way up to his knuckle. 

Gentle thrusts started as Xavier wiggled his finger inside you. He wanted to feel every inch of your body, inside and out. As slow as the first one, he began inserting his ring finger. Your hole clenched around him each time his tongue ran over your clit, and he imagined how it would feel around his cock. With that image in mind, his hips stuttered against the bed, cock pressed between his stomach and the sheets. He took it slow, knowing if he did as he wanted, there would be an obscene amount of cum pooling under his hips.

His eyes drifted up, watching your face as his lips suctioned around your clit. With a suck, your mouth fell open in a silent scream, hips bucking into his hand and mouth. Accompanied by the slow thrusts of his fingers, you already felt the coil in your lower stomach tightening. In his exploration inside you, he came across a textured patch of skin. He pressed with a hopeless curiosity, and your hips jumped, a long moan wrapping around him.

“Right there, Xav. Fuck .” Groaning, your pussy gripped his fingers as he massaged the spot over and over and over. Each noise that fell from your lips only spurred him further, sucking and licking your nub while he beckoned you closer with his fingers. Loud whines fell from your lips, his own noises muffled and causing even more vibrations on your clit. He was loving it, hips fucking into the mattress a bit quicker. He had to get you there; he needed you to cum for him. 

Each second that passed felt like an eternity, Xavier getting lost inside you as he listened to every moan, felt every clench, and saw every expression on your face. A slow drip of drool twinkled in the light, falling from your mouth to settle on the top of your breast. Your mouth was forced open as your throat vibrated with whines and moans. Your stomach tightened with each small thrust and movement of his fingers, your high ready to shoot you off into space.

“Xav,” You panted, your head tilting forward to lock eyes with him. He looked drunk on your pussy, his face buried in your clit and fingers pumping in and out of you. “I’m close.”

Yes . A low hum vibrated from his lips, his pace becoming erratic and teeth gently grazing against your sensitive nub. Each vibration and stroke of your walls had you gripping his hair, your fingers almost ripping each follicle out one by one.

Hearing your moans quicken, Xavier felt ravenous, his fingers speeding up and pressing even harder into your spot. Each time you clenched around his fingers, he moaned against your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

“ Fuck, I’m coming!” His name left your lips like a mantra; eyes screwed shut as he gently guided you through your orgasm. Fascination rolled over his features as he watched you come undone, the sounds you made changing just slightly in pitch, your tight entrance strangling his fingers. Every little thing he noticed, he added to the museum of you inside his brain. 

Pleasure started growing into overstimulation as Xavier tried to continue. He wasn’t sure when to stop, wanting to milk every last second of your release. When your hand gripped his wrist, he blinked, eyes searching yours.

“Too… Much…” You breathed, his fingers slowly pulling out of your pussy and leaving you empty. Xavier brought his fingers up to his lips, his tongue wrapping around his digits as he cleaned himself of your come. Just the sight alone had you ready for another round, eyes rolling in the back of your head as he groaned at the taste.

“Taste so good.” He was in awe. He did that . The glistening slick on his fingers and the way your chest heaved with each breath. Some part of him wished he had filmed it, so that he could go back and watch it over and over and over and over… That was an idea for next time. 

A gentle awkwardness flashed across his features, and he moved up your body, his knees brushing against the back of your thighs. His slim cock pulsed against his abdomen as he looked at you and only you. Kissing you felt natural, so that’s what he did. Pressing his lips against yours you could taste the remnants of your release on his tongue. It turned you on, remembering how he ground his hips into the mattress, enjoying eating you out almost as much as you did.

“How was it?” Xavier asked, pulling away from your lips for just a second to whisper the question into the air. If he kissed you, maybe you wouldn’t notice the small inkling of insecurity that crept into his words.

But you did; you heard the soft rise in his tone as he moaned against your mouth. Teeth knocked together as Xavier pressed against you even more, your noses becoming very familiar as you switched sides back and forth. Your hands on his shoulder and chest stopped him, pushing him back just enough so you could get a good look at him.

A red blush crept back onto his cheeks, his heart beating loudly against your hand. The insistent desire to please you, to wait on you hand and foot like the queen you were, was hard-wired into his heart. He had to make sure he did well because if he didn’t, then there was a lot of practice and research to be done…

A soft laugh brushed against his cheeks as you leaned your forehead against his. Grabbing his hand, you held it to your chest, making him feel the rapid beat of your heart. Your eyes swam in his, watching surprise and satisfaction pass over his features.

“Is that your answer?” You kissed him, softer and more affectionate. All the reassurance and care you could muster was put into the kiss, hoping Xavier could understand. Of course, he could . He knew you probably better than you knew yourself. Even though he had missed the mark a few times, his enthusiasm and long, slender fingers reached places you couldn’t with your own hand.

“Yeah… Yeah.” He panted, his cock brushing against your folds, and he looked down, eyes wide as he watched you clench around nothing. Desperation flashed in his eyes, his hands moving to the backs of your thighs to hold you open for him. “ Fuck … Can I?”

Frantic nods of your head almost caused whiplash, your hands gripping his shoulders. A million ‘yes’s slipped from your lips, your brain caught in a loop as you begged. With a shaky hand, Xavier gripped his cock, his tip brushing against your clit. He wanted to see every reaction, the way you bit your lip as his precum-stained tip traced your folds, dipping slowly inside you before pulling out.

With one particularly loud whine, you grabbed his cock, stroking a few times, and Xavier almost passed out. Grinding into the sheets and his own hand pumping himself was nothing compared to your fingers wrapping around him. He was hypnotized, watching you guide him to your entrance. An impatient gaze waited for him as he looked back at you.

Then he slowly pushed in, and fuck was the stretch bizarre. It had been some time since something that big was teasing your entrance. Each inch of him felt heavenly, your walls melding around every small bump and vein. It was impossible to close your mouth, your head tilted back as words flew from your mind.

The man above you clenched his jaw, feeling his pelvis brush against yours. The tuft of hair at the base of his cock brushed against you, and you looked back at Xavier. He was a mess , his teeth nearly ripping his bottom lip off and sweat tracing the shape of his nose. The veins on his arms pulsed as he held your thighs, keeping you open for him.

“ Fuck .” Xavier cursed, his eyes screwing shut at the crushing pressure he felt inside you. The curve of his cock pressing into that one spot inside you. He had to hold back, his abdomen flexing as he pulled out. The sight of your juices on his cock almost made him cum, but he held on, pressing back into you slowly.

Languid, careful thrusts had you seeing stars, your nails digging into Xavier’s shoulders. The way his cock pressed into you so right, like you were made for each other, was unlike anything you had ever experienced. His breath pushed from his nose; his mouth clamped shut as he tried to focus on not cumming .

“Xav.” Your legs wrapped around his waist, and his hands went to your hips, guiding you to grind onto him. The new angle had your nerves on edge, your eyes blown wide, and staring straight into his soul. “Right there, Xav. You’re doing so well.”

His breath hitched, having to pause his thrusts as he let the words wash over him. Fuck yes, he would do anything to get those words from your mouth again. So he quickened his pace slightly, his face hovering an inch above yours. 

“Am I doing well?” He gasped, his thumb pressing into your skin. Hearing you say it again might have made him cum immediately, so he kissed you, selfishly swallowing your whines. They were his . His to listen to on repeat, his to record and playback when he was away on a solo mission, his to steal all for himself.

“Yes, yes.” You repeated as you disconnected your lips from his, your teeth nipping at his bottom lip, and you struggled to control your legs. “So well, Xav. Fucking me so well.”

That did it. His body stilled, cock twitching and releasing all his pent-up frustrations into your pussy. It was really warm, the feeling spreading through you as you looked at him. His cheeks were even more red than before, his eyes refusing to meet yours. 

“Hey, it’s okay we can cl- fuck .” Your words were cut off by a thrust, Xavier’s hips pistonning into yours. His eyebrows furrowed, his face concentrating. Thoughts were lost to the stars as his thumb began rubbing circles into your clit.

“Need… to make you… fuck … cum…” His words were strangled by overstimulation, your pussy clenching so tight on him that he thought he would lose circulation. But it was he who couldn’t hold it together, and he had to suffer because he needed to see your face overcome with pleasure again.

Long strings of curses fell from his lips as he pushed you further and further, and within a minute (albeit a very long and painful minute), he heard the hitch in your moans. He knew you were close, so he leaned down, taking one of your nipples in his mouth.

“ Fuck , Xavier, I’m-” Your hand gripped tightly in his hair as your legs shook, your orgasm hitting you like a semi. A chest-tightening orgasm pulsed through your veins as you stiffened in his hold. His thumb continued rubbing lazy circles into your sensitive nub, watching your face twist from one of pleasure to one of discomfort after a minute.

Slowly, Xavier pulled out of you, body unceremoniously flopping onto your bed. He watched lazily as you got up to use the bathroom, and he looked at the ceiling. Images of the stars light years away sparked in his eyes, and he imagined bringing you on a journey with him. Maybe he will find out when the next shooting star shower will be and take you to watch it with him.

Hearing the toilet flush, he saw your figure emerge, still naked as you climbed into bed, laying your body on top of his. Silence floated around you for a moment as you drank in the moment, and then you looked up at Xavier, your chin resting on his chest.

“You kept asking how you did but how did I do? How was your first time?” You asked, a gentle smile on your lips as your thumb brushed his skin. It was hard to answer, not being able to put how much it meant to him in words. Perhaps he would write you a letter…

“I think…” He paused, his hand lazily tracing circles into your back. “That it was the best moment of my life, and I’ve lived through a lot. Even though I accidentally came too quick.”

“You still made sure I came, though. And you were amazing at it.” Laughing, you kissed his jaw, kind of enjoying the blush on his cheeks. Maybe you should tease him more.

“Yeah, you were amazing too. And now that I’ve experienced it, I want more.” He confessed, his soft breath against your forehead as he kissed you there. “I want to experience everything with you, honey.”

You lay on his chest, hearing his heartbeat against your ear. The way his arms enveloped you, ready to protect you from the dangers of the world, had your body fully relaxing in his hold. A low hum from your lips was his answer, but your confirmation, with a nod, helped ease his taut nerves.

“That sounds good. Let’s experience everything together, my star boy.” You weren’t sure where the nickname came from, but it felt right. He was your star boy, his light shining down on you and comforting your uneasy soul. Closing your eyes, exhaustion pulled at your body, tugging you deeper and deeper into slumber.

Xavier felt his heart clench, the deep thrumming threatening to burst from his chest. Your star boy . He loved it, and he smiled, kissing the top of your head one more time before relaxing into the pillow.

As you lay in his arms, Xavier felt nostalgia wash over him, remembering similar circumstances. However, this time, you were breathing softly, eyes closed in slumber, and heart beating consistently against his own. You were safe and sound in his arms just as you had been then, but he was sure that you wouldn’t leave him this time.

“Go to sleep, my darling.” He whispered to your already sleeping form, his fingers brushing across your forehead. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.” 

© starsforxavi

[cinnabunbunroll]

I just spent two hours making a post about songs that remind me of Xavier and it didn’t get saved. I literally pressed save and it just rebooted to the intro from my drafts. It’s also 3am and I’ve been compromising my sleep for this. I-

I’ll do it again, just not now, but it’s kinda frustrating of Tumblr to backstab me like this.

[loveanddeephistory]

As much as I also laugh and joke about Xavier being jealous of Lumiere, I also absolutely get it. So be prepared because I have THOUGHTS.

✨ In defense of Xavier ✨

I cannot speak for all his jealousy, but I can speak on my own interpretation. Unfortunately, since I joined in October, I completely missed his Lumiere myth. I also don’t want to spoil myself too much in case I get the rerun, so some of this is just my own interpretation based on his character.

But I don’t think Xavier is explicitly jealous of *himself,* guys. I think when he asks “Who do you like more, me or Lumiere?” He’s not asking it literally. He is asking the main character, he is asking us as the player, “Do you like me or do you like the mask I wear?”

Now, I’m biased. I actually wrote a drabble on this concept for Victoria with her first (and still canon!) love interest from Ninjago, Lloyd. There’s some character parallels here I won’t go into detail with. But that was a topic the two had to navigate at first. Being the object of so many peoples’ affections while in an alter ego can absolutely raise a lot of questions. And in this example, Lloyd was wondering if Victoria was in love with the persona he has to put up for public perception, or the person he truly was. Of course Victoria loved him for him, not for the mask.

I think Xavier is doing the same here.

Xavier is a crown prince. He’s a vigilante. He’s a hero. But at the end of the day he is XAVIER. He’s gone through so many jobs, so many roles, he’s worn down many different masks. Someone falling in love with the mask is the last thing he wants. I was discussing this with my therapist the other day, that’s something that drew me to both Rafayel and Xavier.

They both have masks, literal and figurative, that they hide behind. Falling in love with the mask does nothing. It’s the person underneath that’s more important. It’s why Rafayel asks “Will you still love me, no matter who I become?” It’s why Xavier asks who the main character prefers, him or Lumiere. It speaks to my own life as someone placed on a pedestal, constantly wearing a mask of perfection and untouchability. It irritates me when people claim to have feelings for me when they haven’t found the person behind the mask. It shows they’ve fallen in love with an idea of me, not with who I am as a person.

I’ll gladly make jokes about his own jealousy too, but there’s a lot more to it. It frustrates me to see all of the love interests mischaracterized or even outright demonized.

So, in defense of Xavier, when he asks if you like him or Lumiere more, keep in mind.

Are you in love with the man, or the mask?

[cinnabunbunroll]

Beautiful explanation, I could’ve not put it better

[lunawagner]

I need to study statistics, but it is boring to do it with practice datasets, so I created a questionnaire to see if people who support different love interests have significant differences in personality. If you could participate, I would be more than grateful!

I will start to process the data after getting 30 participants for each love interest, then share the results here

Love and Deepspace Study

This test is designed to examine if there is a personality difference between groups of people who support different love interests. Firstly

[lunawagner]

Day-2 participant report:

Rafayel mains: 27

Xavier mains: 66 (yes, no typo, they went from 6 to 66, I don't know how to thank them anymore😭💕💕and at this point I can't decide if they are so cute and kind or... scary. never ever touch them or their man)

Sylus mains: 20 Zayne mains: 15 Caleb mains: 15 I'm not on many communities, so if you could share it in your own community, it would be really helpful! (not you xavier mains, you already slayed it★)

[xavierbunbun]

Ahahha we finally woke up 🤭

[cinnabunbunroll]

I am actually so excited to find out the results. I LOVE finding patterns and believe that our choice of favourite characters can tell quite a few things about us. Thank you for initiating this study!

[junostellaris]

CALLING ALL XAVIER ARTISTS!!

Xavier 2025 blockbuster project To Reach for the Stars Part I Xavier & China Space Day collaboration

Officially approved by the State Council of China, since 2016, April 24th has been recognized as the “China Space Day” to commemorate the aerospace industry and promote the spirit of aerospace.

On this 10th year anniversary, official organising committee has invited Xavier birthday team representing Xavier Shen Xinghui, to be a part of this occasion.

We sincerely invite all Xavier creators to use their brushes to depict the magnificent journey of pursuing dreams for reaching the stars.

The selected works will be exhibited offline at the official venue of Space Day in Shanghai. Submission deadline: 2025.4.5

This is the first time ever an Otome character being directly involved with a national level event, showcasing his strong connection with deep space. Xavier’s exhibition will be standing alongside with cutting edge technology and Aerospace Machinery for space exploration such as Chang'e-6, the sixth probe of China's lunar exploration project.

CN announcement link: https://weibo.com/1769575280/5147699234738132

Submissions can be sent through Xavier's team on Weibo: https://weibo.com/u/1769575280

[manikas-whims]

turns out Xavier & MC never argue 🥹

Xavier the man that you are 🤌

it makes me happy cuz I've experienced abuse and i feel very uncomfortable when people yell or get too close during arguments..

[cinnabunbunroll]

I’m sorry to hear you had to go through abuse, no one deserves to be treated that way… Scars like that can’t be forgotten easily, but they can be healed by beautiful and precious memories. So I wish you to heal, find beauty around and inside yourself, and encounter those precious moments everywhere you go. I know you’re strong and hope you know it as well.

Honestly, that’s one of the traits that attracts me in him too. He’s calm and comforting, like pillow, ahah. I’m pretty quiet person and hate arguing with people for whatever (low key struggle to speak up literally and figuratively). It just makes more sense to calmly talk things out. He seems to be this kind of person too, and that fact comforts.

**let’s manifest someone like that to you, me, and all fellow Xavier people

[junostellaris]

In every life, the promise stays the same.

I am rereading this new cute promise card and while I am in the middle of the story, I feel a familiar pain in my heart.

Then I remember something from Anecdote 3..

She is the star from a long, long time ago...

and the words from Lightseeker Xavier...

It is a Promise Card for a reason.

[cinnabunbunroll]

This parallel is killing me😭😭

[its-livia]

Okay xavier let's not think of sad things anymore 🙂

[cinnabunbunroll]

I actually need someone to say me this irl from time to time

[jeontasy]

Until The Spring Day Comes Again (m)

Completed

wc: 4.4k pov: xavier x you tags: heavy angst, slight fluff, slight mature content warnings: major character death 18+ MDNI

It hurt.

Looking at her always hurt.

Xavier blinked slowly as he watched you walk towards him with two drinks in hand, grinning cheekily as you sat down next to him on the park bench. The sweet scent of your green apple shampoo wafted through the air, manipulating his senses and filling his thoughts exclusively with you.

15 minutes.

He’s been able to get 15 minutes with you alone every day during your breaks since he started at UNICORN two months ago, and he finds himself shamelessly gripping onto every last second. He stared at the way your eyelashes fluttered in the Spring breeze while a single strand of hair disobediently made its way across your face. He slightly chuckled as he watched you pout and try to blow it out of the way.

“Here, let me get that for you.”

A warm touch grazed against your forehead as he gently tucked your hair out of the way with a small smile, and deep down you hoped that he didn’t notice the way your ears were flaming up. You clear your throat and hand him his drink, the strawberry milkshake looking completely out of place with his Hunter uniform and it made you hold in a chuckle.

The arrival of Spring came abruptly, and with the harsh grasp of Winter finally loosening, you were looking forward to spending some more time with Xavier. It’s been a while since you’ve worked together but for some reason nobody seems to know much about him. He was quiet, fast, and hardworking. But he never shared anything else, anything extra, with anyone.

You snuck a peek at the boy sipping on his pink drink while looking up at the willow tree swaying above, and you couldn’t help but wonder everything about him. From his soft silver hair that was caught in the sunlight to his mesmerizing ocean eyes, you wanted to know so much more.

“So, Xavier.." you started carefully, "..got anything fun planned this weekend? Spring’s finally here, do you…maybe want to go see the cherry blossoms together?”

The boy turned to look into your eyes, his lips loosening from the straw and becoming agape, as if a little baffled but at the same time also processing your invitation. You gulped and quickly raised your hand up in defense before laughing awkwardly, “I-I mean, me and Tara are going to see them t-tomorrow! She told me I should invite you!” Why am I lying?!

You looked back into Xavier’s eyes nervously, getting a little lost in that clear blue before he finally spoke.

“No thanks, I..already have plans.” Xavier smiled, a gentle but polite smile, his gaze feeling unfamiliar as usual.

“A-ah..okay.“ you murmured, your heart sinking slightly.

Quietly sipping on your drinks without another word, the conversation seemingly reaching an abrupt end, and soon both your hunter watches rang to remind you it was time to get back to work. Xavier stood up first and reached his hand out to you, as if waiting for something. Looking up at him, you were slightly taken aback by this sudden friendly action. He continued to stare back at you and you couldn’t help but carefully put your hand in his, fingers barely coming in contact with his palm when he suddenly pulls away, rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly as he looked to the side.

“I..just wanted to help you throw away your empty cup.”

You looked down at your empty drink and realizes what he meant, internally face-palming for being way over your head. What is the matter with you?!, you silently cursed to yourself as a wave of embarrassment rushed over you. You smiled awkwardly and handed over your empty cup, muttering a quiet “Thank you” before he walks a few steps towards the trashcan and threw it away.

The air was more silent than it should’ve been as you both walked back to the building, many times during this short five minute walk you wanted to say something to Xavier but you just couldn’t, the words eluded you, trapped behind your nervousness. Before you both knew it, you were back at the office and Tara runs to greet you, clinging onto your arm with a playful grin. “You’re finally back! Did you get me that sandwich I wanted?”

Xavier doesn’t say anything and walks by the both of you, throwing a polite smile in Tara’s way to greet her as he sits back down at his own desk, immediately diving back into his paperwork from that Wanderer attack earlier this morning.

Maybe next time I can ask him if he wants to do the paperwork together..

With Tara’s relentless chatter and meetings scheduled by Jenna, the day sped by faster than usual. You couldn’t help but constantly sneak peeks at Xavier throughout the day, as if practically dying for a chance to interact with him. Whether it was him getting up to refill his water, or rummaging through different files. Now it might be a bit ridiculous to say, but you feel as if there was an invisible string bounded between you and him, yet you couldn’t really pinpoint what it exactly was.

All you knew right now was that you had shamelessly fallen for the new guy, your heart was hopelessly entangled in feelings that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

Xavier kicks off his worn sneakers and sinks down onto the couch, The night sky outside was like an ocean of darkness, studded with glittering stars that seemed to twinkle just for him. Despite the beauty of the cosmos spread there before him, his mind was fixed solely on one person. Leaning his head back, he took a deep breath as he held up his hand, tracing the spot on his palm where your fingers had brushed against his earlier that day, and a suffocating sensation began to bloom in his chest without warning, as if invisible fingers had reached out to tighten around his heart.

He wanted it.

He wanted to tell you everything, he wanted to look you in the eyes and tell you how you made him feel, how looking at you every time tugged on his heartstrings, how the sight of your smile swept him off his feet, how the sound of your laughter echoed in his ears like a melody, and how he wished he could tell you how much he loved you.

He loved you.

I love her. I love her so much. I wish I could-

The night breeze whistled outside, cutting through the silence like a gentle warning.

No..you can’t be selfish right now Xavier…You’re already close enough. You can’t be so greedy.

Oh, but he wants to be. He wants to be greedier, the yearning within him was insatiable. He wanted to be so, so much greedier. He wanted to run downstairs and hold you in his arms, to gently stroke your hair and tell you everything on his mind, to kiss you and to pour his heart out onto your lips until you both run out of breath, and most of all, he wanted to watch the stars with you again, to see your beautiful face illuminated underneath those twinkling lights as he holds you in his arms. Only this time, he’s not going to let you die.

He wanted it so bad. All of it. Every fleeting moment he could cling to, every laugh, every heartbeat, every last second that he can get, that he can salvage, with you.

But you can’t.

Xavier looked up at his living room shelf absentmindedly, an unmarked date glaring back at him from his calendar, a stark reminder that he forgot to mark his daily 'X' this morning.

This is my 214th Spring on Earth.

He glanced out at the balcony again, and suddenly the strong whistling of the wind subsided, as if the world around him was holding its breath, quieting down just for him.

And it will be my last.

You smiled as you snapped some more pictures for Tara, she was trying many different poses in front of the cherry blossom trees and seems like you suddenly beared the job of being her personal photographer. Tara squeals as she rushed over to you, immediately taking her phone so she can check the photos you took. Looking up at the pink flowers, Xavier’s face popped into your mind. You couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing at this moment.

Stop thinking about him! What is wrong with you?!

Accidentally groaning a bit too loud, Tara quips her brow at you in concern, “Are you okay?”

Embarrassed, you brush it off with a laugh. Claiming that you were probably just hungry. Tara rolled her eyes at you playfully and grabbed you by the arm, walking and talking at the same time, going on about this new restaurant that just opened near the park, and to be honest you weren’t so sure your head was there anymore after that.

All you remembered was watching the cherry blossoms float down slowly as Tara’s voice went on in the back of your mind, and a petal landed on your shoulder, but before you could grab it, it was swept away by the wind, drifting out of your sight before you could even begin to miss it.

That petal, so light and fleeting, inexplicably reminded you of Xavier. The sensation caught you off guard, and your heart sank for no reason.

Before you knew it, you were rambling out a scattered apology to a confused Tara, promising her that the next meal was on you before you ran in the opposite direction.

The direction of your home, of Xavier’s home.

Xavier was surprised to see you at his door, clutching onto your bag as a light sheen of sweat glistened on your forehead. For a moment, he faltered, unsure of what to say, but you broke the silence first.

“H-Hey.”

“…Hi.”

Staring at each other in silence, the air between you charged with an unspoken tension. Xavier leaned against his doorframe as he continued to blink at you, not really showing a sign of wanting to let you in. You licked your lips, “I-Um, I just wanted to check up on you.”

He tilted his head in confusion, that gorgeous silver hair cascading softly over his hooded eyes, “Check on me?”

Your heart raced at how ridiculous your concern sounded. It sounded insane, you knew it did, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling that rose upon you when that petal fell on your shoulder. Whether you were being crazy or not, seeing Xavier in his white t-shirt and plaid pajama pants still gave you a sense of relief.

“Yeah..um…my w-watch reported there were some Wanderers around the area.” Seriously?

Xavier raised a brow, a hint of skepticism in his gaze as he crossed his arms while you kept talking.

“So I’m just making sure y-you’re okay.” Seriously?!

Looking up, you were able to catch that flash of amusement from his eyes before it was gone. Your cheeks started feeling hot, a bit mortified by how unnecessary this all seemed, and you knew you needed to escape from this embarrassing moment now or else you’d never let yourself live this down.

Clearing your throat, you stood up straight, “A-anyways, it seems like everything is fine here so I’ll just be goin-“

“Want to come in?”

You don’t know how you got here, but one moment you were both flustering over a simple touch on his palm, and now he has you pinned beneath him while he’s kissing down your neck.

Holy shit, is this really happening?

Xavier’s lips were like feathers gliding against your skin, the gentleness was enough to drive you insane and wanting more. He placed a final kiss on the end of your collarbone before coming back up, his beautiful sapphire eyes gleaming back at you. There was a moment of silence before you let all sane thoughts abandon your mind and you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, pulling him in for a deep kiss.

He smelled like the cherry blossoms, and while he pulled away to take off his shirt, all you could think about was chasing after his lips again as you pulled him back in urgently. His surprised chuckle didn’t go unnoticed before it was eaten up by your lips.

It felt familiar. The way he smelled and the way he felt against your touch, it was all too familiar. Why?

Xavier’s hand gliding up your thighs erased away any last thoughts from you, his breaths felt ticklish against your cheeks as he buried his body closer to yours, whispering incoherent love poems beside your ear.

That night felt so long, but you weren’t complaining. Each heavy breath and gentle whisper was etched into both of your souls and you know you’d never forget about today. As you lay there in Xavier’s arms, you couldn’t help but trace your finger across his face. Starting from his eyebrows to his long eyelashes, and finally his puffy lips, and you giggled to yourself as you remembered how hard you were kissing and nibbling on them earlier.

You quickly retreated your hand as you felt him shift, letting out a small groan in his sleep when he suddenly pulled you closer, you blush at the feeling of being bare against each other. It was so intimate, so intense, so full of love.

I love you, Xavier.

As he held you tight in his arms, you leaned into his warm chest, his steady heartbeat as if singing a lullaby into your ears, eventually pulled you away to a night of deep sleep.

It’s been 57 days since you and Xavier started dating.

Every moment together felt like pure ecstasy, like it was a movie, a fever dream, and sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night thinking none of it was real. But in those fleeting moments of doubt, the comforting warmth of Xavier's embrace would envelop you. His strong arms would pull you into a cocoon of safety, and his face, nuzzling against your hair, would assure you that everything was okay.

You don’t know why you were so worried about losing him, nothing bad has even happened, but you couldn’t shake off this dark feeling that loomed over your head every single day that Xavier was going to be taken away from you.

In these 57 days, you’ve both done so much together.

You still remember the way he shocked both you and the waiter by eating over 10 plates of sliced beef at his favorite hot-pot restaurant, or when he surprised you by playing a beautiful song on his piano during your one month anniversary, his fingers dancing gracefully over the black and white keys like he was born to be this perfect.

And how can you forget when he almost blew up the kitchen because he wanted to bake egg tarts for you? You still remember the sheer horror on his face, mixed with a hint of panic as flour flew everywhere while the oven continuously beeped back at him, and it made you laugh until your sides ached.

But maybe one of the most significant moments of all, was that you’ll never forget the day when he handed you a small box with a silver key lying inside.

“What is this?” You looked at him teasingly.

“It’s a key,” His cheeks filled with a rosy pink as he smiled, shyly rubbed his neck, “to my apartment.” The meaning behind that simple gesture resonated deeply with you, a promise wrapped in trust and intimacy.

You also remember the day you finally dragged him to see the cherry blossoms together, and laughed when the petals were all landing on his head, as if the wind that day heavily disagreed with him. He would relish in the sound of your laughter, he would hold you in his arms as he kissed you dearly, and he would gently soothe you to sleep underneath the shade.

Spring was a beautiful season, fleetingly beautiful, filled with the soft aroma of flowers and the gentle breeze, the warm sun and the sound of willow trees rustling, and the burning, blooming love of you and Xavier.

All you knew at that moment was that you wanted to spend all of your Springs— no, every single season together, forever.

2:31 A.M.

Xavier groggily opened his eyes, he instinctively checked the space next to him first and his gaze softened as he saw your bare back facing him. He leans in to plant a chaste kiss on your shoulder blade before pulling back, almost unwillingly. As he slowly rose from the bed, every movement felt heavy, weighted with the shadows of the impending reality。 He grabbed his phone and walked out of the bedroom, making sure to close the door gently to prevent from waking you up.

He sees texts from Jeremiah flash across the screen, rubbing his eyes to shake off the remnants of sleep, he finally gets a clear look at what it says.

He knew this day was coming, he always did, even Jeremiah, and they both knew now that there was no way to stop it.

Looking up at the shelf in his living room, his eyes stared directly at the date that was circled with a red marker.

It’s here. I can’t drag it on anymore.

Xavier took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he could feel the life being slowly sucked out of him, and as much as he and Jeremiah have been trying to figure out a solution to this problem for the past 214 years, seems like at the end it was still inevitable.

He was dying, yet all he could think about was you.

His mind raced, engulfed by images of shared memories, the silhouette of your back when you’re trying to save his kitchen disasters, the way you would gently treat his wounds when he got hurt during a mission, and how beautiful you looked underneath the moonlight when he holds you in his arms.

Xavier knew he fucked up. From the moment he invited you in he knew he fucked up. If he didn’t let his selfishness take over him, if he didn’t get close to you, if he could’ve kept his distance, maybe this would’ve all been a lot easier.

For you? Or for himself?

He gripped the edge of his shirt tightly, knuckles turning white, and a heavy tear lands on his lap.

But he loved you so much.

Fuck, he loved you so much.

His body caved inwards as he trembled, burying his face into his hands as he gasped out soft sobs. His vision becoming blurry with hot tears as they kept falling.

Look at yourself, crying, as if you didn’t bring this upon yourself.

Xavier tries to roughly wipe away the tears that fall out but he can’t stop it fast enough. He finally manages to catch his breath and looks up at the clock, it was almost time.

He couldn’t help but look in the way of his bedroom, thinking about how you were going to react when you wake up and he isn’t there, when you habitually reach over for that warm embrace and he won’t be there to give it to you. Xavier’s eyes teared up again but he quickly wiped it away.

You gotta go Xavier.

He stands up to grab his jacket but froze when he hears a soft voice.

“Xavier?”

There you were, standing sleepily behind the couch, footsteps so gentle that even he didn’t notice. His eyes widened at your sudden appearance, slightly dumbfounded, standing there with his jacket in one hand not knowing exactly what to do.

“Where are you going?”

He continued to look at you in the dark, not daring to utter a word. The only source of light was the moon shining in from outside, and he gripped his jacket tightly in his hand as he tries to make out your features.

“Is everything okay?”

You started to move closer to him and blinked when he seemed to move back.

“Xavier?”

The sleepiness started to slowly slip away when you realized that something was wrong. You tried to make out his facial expressions but he was stepping so far back from you that it was impossible. Finally taking big steps, you walked up to Xavier standing in the dark alone and cupped his face.

It’s..wet? He was crying?

“Xavier.” You called out to him again, “Xavier, what’s wrong?”

Silence.

“Xavier, don’t scare me.” You croaked out, and suddenly tears were unknowingly flowing down your face as well.

“Xavier!”

He suddenly pulls you into a tight embrace, as if the air was knocked out your lungs, as if he was holding on for dear life.

“I’m so s-sorry…” He gasped out, wet tears staining your hair as he hugged you tighter without another word.

When you both finally stopped crying, he brought you out to the balcony and draped a blanket over you both as he finally told you everything. About a planet called Philos, about that strange guy from the flower shop, about rebirth, and about how old he really was, who he really was.

It was a lot of information to grasp at once, but you listened to him, you held onto his hand tight and listened to him. He continued to explain that by being so far away from Philos, his immortal life force is being drained away slowly by the hour ever since he first arrived on Earth, and very soon his heart will stop beating altogether.

“S-so, you’re going to d-die?”

The words seemed like a joke coming out of your mouth, as if this was all a funny prank and that any moment now he would laugh his perfect laugh and tell you that everything was going to be alright.

It wasn’t.

“We tried everything.” Xavier whispers, holding you tighter against him, “Jeremiah and I…we tried everything we could think of for the past 214 years.”

The night sky was quiet, as if even the wind knew about his demise.

“I never meant to get so close to you.” Xavier said as his hands trembled, he looked down as if in shame, “I’m sorry I brought you into this. I should’ve known better, I-I couldn’t control myself, I’m s-sorry, I’m so so sorry,” He hiccupped, “I couldn’t help it, I love you so m-much. God, I love you so much. I love you so fucking much.”

Tears started to well in your eyes and Xavier quickly reached out to wipe them away, you close your eyes and hold onto his hand, leaning your wet cheeks into it and gripping onto his warm fingers as tightly as you can because you know very soon you will never feel them again.

“How much more time do we have?” You whispered.

Xavier’s gaze met yours, a mix of pain and resignation in his eyes, “Maybe 10—, 15 minutes at the most.” He can feel his body slowly becoming weak, his hand losing their grip, and his eyes starting to feel heavy.

You reached out to cup his face, your fingertips tracing the contours of his cheek as tears brimmed in your eyes, unable to stop the quiet sobs that whimpered out. You held him in your arms and felt him lean his head against yours. The stars overhead twinkled in the night sky, but they felt dimmer now, overshadowed by the heaviness in both your hearts. Xavier tries his best to muster a smile at you, the same smile that showered you with feathery kisses underneath those cherry trees, the same smile that eventually turned into hearty laughs as you played games together on Saturday afternoons, and the same smile that pressed against your forehead when he said “I love you” for the first time.

My star, you’re losing your light so fast.

Please, please don’t take him away from me so fast. Please.

You silently begged, you're not even sure to who, —fate, the cosmos, or something or someone even higher—to address your desperate wishes, and you begged and begged and begged that you could have one more moment, one more minute, even if it’s just one more precious second with him.

To be able to laugh with him underneath those cherry blossoms again, to see his confused and annoyed face when he pulls out another batch of burnt cookies, to hear him whisper sweet nothings into you ear, to hear him say “I love you” again. You would do anything for another moment.

You closed your eyes, hiding from the reality that threatened to break you into pieces as you felt his grip loosen around your hand more and more, you were too scared to look yet you were also too afraid to let go. You clutched onto his hands as tightly as you could, tears dropping onto the backs of your intertwined skin as you continued to cry.

“I….love…you.”

The words slipped from his lips like fragile whispers. You turned your head and looked at Xavier, his skin was gradually losing its glow and his shining eyes began to dull. As if gathering up all the energy he had, he whispered again.

“I love…you..so..m-much..”

Your vision blurred under the weight of your tears as you cupped his face, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his cold lips. Hot tears were streaming down your face and escaping into your mouth, mixing with the bitterness of reality, each droplet a poignant reminder that this was all too real— that Xavier was slipping away.

“I love you too. So, so much.” You sobbed out.

But it was already too late.

Xavier’s lifeless body leaned heavily against you, his head slumping over your shoulder as you cried and cited and cried, the sound echoing in the stillness of the night hauntingly. You wrapped your hands around his waist tightly and kept crying, until your eyes started to burn, until your tears soaked through his shirt, until his entire body started to feel cold.

My star.

You hugged him tightly, unwilling to let go for even a second as you continued to cry.

Spring will come again, my star.

You pressed a final kiss against his ear, whispering a final “I love you.”

Flowers will bloom again.

“And I will be right here waiting for you.”

[marked-by-sylus]

source