Ø C̷i̷r̷c̷e̷ Ø

8teen | tw venting, sh ideation | lowkey giving up

[circeplant]

andd ive started doing that to punish myself again haa…

[circeplant]

im so supposed to be asleep by now, especially bc i have an exam in the morning, but fuck this is exactly what (A) wants and its actually fucking working fml.. i really fucking wish i could remember wtf they did to our previous relationships, becausde then maybe i could be of some fucking use and not just be sat there saying ‘idk’ and making them worry about me. they really are going to stick by their word and ruin everything for me. it is affecting them so badly and fuck i feel so guilty for it. ik its not technically me doing it nor is it technically my fault, but it feels like it is and fuck. they do not deserve any of this shit at all.

my heart is in my fucking throat, i have literally been in a constant state of anxiousness since it happened and i feel genuinely sick to my stomach at seeing just how much it was affecting them already. i have already actually thrown up and have been sobbing for fucking hours now. ik they told me to sleep but fuck i really really dont know if i can atp, the guilt is eating me alive, this is not their fault in the slightest and they havent done anything wrong but i know that if they see this its gonna make them feel so much worse n way more stressed out and god im sorry for that bc that is not my intention at all but fuck i have to put this somewhere because i fear if i dont i will just spontaneously combust haa….

[knighthearts]

happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw

[circeplant]

[circeplant]

oh wow we still havent eaten aa

i dont feel like throwing up at allll noo what do you meann (thumbs up)

[holybananapants]

im full of too much whimsy (mental health issues)

[cannibalcrys]

Trying to give advice to someone and they wont take it even though it would fix their whole fucking situation so I just blow my brains out

[circeplant]

spaghetti core..?

[circeplant]

wait pause wtf wtf wtf. those are new marks what. none of us did that fuck, and i don’t remember anything from last night omg

[leathersys]

on having a "collective consciousness"

[circeplant]

oh fuckin hell i have never seen something more accurate wuhiaosiiskskasie

[circeplant]

everythings bad. everythings so bad. everything always goes wrong fuckin hell… i knew he wasnt coming back. part of me, at first, thought he would come back. that he’d come back, we’d all talk things out and things may be at least semi resolved and things would go back to ‘normal’. whatever that is, because idfk at this point. but the longer we waited, the more i started to really think about it all. and soon enough there was not even one possible scenario i could think of where he comes back. only me and him really knew. everyone else believed, or at least wanted to believe, that he would come back. but fuckkk…

i hate being right about things i wish i was wrong about. because even though i knew damn well he wasnt gonna come back. it still hurts so so much. and i hate that it hurts this much. i shouldve well expected it. every adult in my life has abandoned me and broken their truat with me in some way or another. why did i think this time would be any different..?? i genuinely cant tell if i feel more anger or more hurt and it fucking doesnt help that all of Us have very very different emotions. some are so so angry and want to just cuss him out. some simply do not care. and some feel so upset and hurt by it all, and unfortunately, that is whats correlating to what i actually feel.

ive already cried twice, and i will probably not sleep at all tonight and will end up crying a 3rd 4th 5th 10th 50th time. i hate genuinely all of this and it is so so fucking insane to me that the majority of this started after that day the burnt piece of spaghetti told people to kill themselves. we’re finally free of her. but we’re still dealing with all of this other shit, thats honestly just as or even more painful than everything else we’ve dealt with for the past 2 months…

i wish i knew about that boundary before the gc was made. i really fucking do.

[circeplant]

haaa hes not coming backk… i dont believe it one fuckin bittt. im also never getting out of here omfg how is she still goingg hahaa. im literally just gonna bleed and kms

[goldenonthemoon]

If I don’t get drunk before I die consider that a huge loss

[circeplant]

[circeplant]

fuckkk everything is somehow even better yepppp mhmm im not gonna do anything, not. at. all.

[circeplant]

nothings wrong everything’s fine mhm. im just a horrible liar who was born cursed mhmm. just an attention seeking bitch who has to devote herself to the mother bc wow ive never realised it but i am so so lucky to have her in my life chat. im so lucky to have been born and i owe everything to her for giving me this perfect happy life, i love her so much yippee

[circeplant]

they started burning themselves again..?? i- wtf sure - V

[lock-o-lake]

even though you aren’t here

the thought of you still keeps me awake

[circeplant]

that mother fucker. the overcooked piece on f spaghetti that is way too fucking lost in the sauce.