there’s no way that amami could stop travelling. it’s his mission, his motivation, his meaning in life. if not just because of the restlessness in his blood, for his sisters too. saihara would never try and stand in the way of that. they don’t understand it — they’ve always been an only child, have never had many strong ties to family for as long as they can remember… but that doesn’t stop them from listening. amami had once told them that they would never understand how he feels. maybe that’s true. but maybe that’s better. at least this way, they can look at amami with objective eyes. can value him for what he is instead of what he isn’t.
still, saihara watches as his classmate packs the last of his bags, stands with hands on his hips as he assesses the luggage. to saihara, it seems like way too little for a trip this long, but what do they know? all they know is that their heart feels like it’s hollowing itself out of their chest. watching him, knowing that soon, he’ll be gone and all that will be left of him would be his lingering scent in the room and the shirt he’d lent saihara.
amami had placed his hand on saihara’s cheek, as if sensing that something’s amiss. and without even thinking, saihara’s leaning into the touch, letting their eyelashes hit gently against the other’s hand. their lips touch his palm — insistent, afraid. they want to say so many things. they want to ask if he’ll miss them. to beg him to take them with him. to break down crying for how much they wish he could just stay home. but they don’t say any of those things, don’t do anything but kiss him with all the love they’re bottling up in their heart. they finally look over at amami, their words warm and soft against his palm. “…promise me you’ll stay safe. please.”
saihara’s composure had no less made him feel guilty about leaving them so suddenly. nothing lasts forever, and he had to get a move on, but that look in their eyes and their lips against his palm was dangerous. a lump had formed in the back of his throat and a pit at his stomach. if only his circumstance was different, he would have stayed by their side for as long as they needed him.
a half-lidded look glazed over amami’s eyes, heavy from a sleepless night and the sudden guilt of leaving them. he moved his other hand to their opposite cheek, rubbing circles on the skin with his thumb, both comforting them and himself. he wanted to cradle them against his chest, pull them into an embrace, but he knew the touch would have made him want to truly stay.
instead, he moved one of his hands under saihara’s chin, tilting it upward to pressure them to make eye contact with him. not even the lights above had caught on his eyes; a dull look only being granted. any semblance of a lighthearted attitude was gone - they were too observational for that mask to be worn around them at this moment.
“ hey - you don’t have to worry about me, ” he halfheartedly chided them, “ i’ll be fine. you’ve gotta take care of yourself, too, you hear me? ”
against his better judgement, a chaste kiss was placed on the space between their eyes. as he expected, a longing sensation to linger arose, one that he had to push down. it won in the end however; with a shaky exhale, he closed his eyes and rest his forehead against their’s. if only, for a few moments.
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