Quite excited since a kind finx fictionkin took a commissionfor me for a staff for my cosplay and tbh it’s so nice finally finding someone else Whos also a fictionkin now I feel like I won’t be judged
these headcanons? you cant afford these headcanons!
Can and will always reply to anything with "that's what she said" or "your mom" if it fits,everyone absolutely hates him for it.
Says he has a godly spice tolerance but can and will scream if you give him anything remotely spicy, considers black pepper spicy.
Has a wardrobe full of silly button-ups with fun patterns, he is not ashamed of it and will show it off with pride.
Very reckless with stuff he owns since he can always buy another copy of it thanks to his bank account as deep as the mariana trench, has crashed 3 cars somehow. (1 done for shits and giggles, 1 accidental and the last one stolen.)
Can and will go shirtless anywhere, in his iconic Super Macho Banana Hammock™ if possible, to the point where his PR team had to stop him from showing up in it to a funeral once.
Sings in his sleep and its absolutely HORRIFYING, its always either Lady Gaga songs or beatboxing, has woken up to himself singing multiple times.
Has the ugliest crying face ever, the WVBA has the unspoken rule of "Do not look at Macho Man while he cries unless you can hold in your laughter or youre a fast runner." Thanks to him.
Really good at improv comedy somehow, it works thanks to his voice/accent and the way he answers questions.
Cannot pronounce Baja Blast, it always comes out as "Boho Blost"
Has been caught stalking the other boxers social media accounts, the first victim of this was Glass Joe, everyone later found out he was absolutely flaming everyone on his alternative accounts.
Likes eating Jello, has a shirt that says "I FUCKING LOVE JELLO" that was a gift from his dad.
Once tweeted out a picture of his ass to Don Flamenco after he lost a match to him,got banned instantly off of Twitter.
Extremely commited to jokes/bits to the point where he references them during actually serious situations.
Has bailed out the other boxers out of jail multiple times, he may be a asshole but he isn't willing to let his fellow colleagues™ stay in jail.
oh my god we did it. it took like 6+ months but just in time for the 15th anniversary of the release of Punch-Out!! for the Wii, we created our own comic panels inspired by the original ones released alongside the game! a labour of love and extreme hyper-fixation lmao! please read them all because they're absolutely fantastic! and here are all the artists responsible <3 <3
super macho man hc blast bc i dont post about him much
im tweaking.im gabagool.grgghhgggggshsbznzkzlmzöxö
Likes stupid shirts & designs,has DIY’d some shirts for himself including one that says “the superest machoest manest everest!!” he wears to interviews.
Was OBSESED with sharks as a kid,specifically great white sharks,still likes them a lot but will never be able to top 5 year old macho’s shark obsession.
Cooks up some concerning stuff in his notes app when he’s drunk,is he writing plans to assasinate a goverment official or is he trying to come up with a stupid pun? None of us will know except for drunk SMM and his notes app.
A good chunk of his fans are hatewatchers, still hasnt caught onto it.
Had his twitter account hacked into once,the only thing the hacker did was tweet “SUPER MACHO MAN LIKES SUPER MACHO MEN! #GAY” and log out, its a running gag between his fans.
Used to be in a frathouse.
Anytime he showers it looks like someone’s threw crumbled up roof tiles around the place thanks to his fuckass tan coming off.
Smells like axe deodorant and burnt plastic.
Used to have a goth phase,his fans only have a few pictures of that era but they abuse it s lot. (He still listens to the music sometimes but shhh)
Once had a mental breakdown over losing a pair of sunglasses only to find out it was in his bag.
Speaks some brazilian portuguese, he started learning the language purely because he thought it sounded cool.
Has his own shitty podcast where he talks about literally anything,he could be talking about something really traumatic in one episode then talking about snorting bath salts the other episode.
Would eat a plastic bottle if you double-dog-dared him to.
Dances like a sim, you could take this dumbass to a rave and he’d somehow end up doing the macarena.
Cast of punch out all getting sick? Like a cold not deathly ill! Please and thank you
Ofc! Boxers on a sick 🤢 day!
Glass Joe 🇫🇷 🥐
- Weak immune system, gets sick a lot
- Ugly sneezing
- Stays in very comfy pajamas all day
- Stays alone, crashes on his couch, and watches old French dramas or plays to pass the time... or if he's too lazy to turn on the television, he'll turn on his white noise and read his favorite novels
- If Kaiser happens to be with him, he'll wait on Joe hand and foot, even carrying Joe around bridal-style from room to room. He treats Joe like a sick victorian child
Von Kaiser 🇩🇪 🔩
- Has to be convinced he's sick to take the day off
- Very bored and unsatisfied; he feels lazy
- Nastiest coughs this side of the earth
- Has no choice but to be waited on by Joe. Bro has a literal French maid whenever he's sick
- Looks like this when he's sick:
Disco Kid 🇺🇲 🕺
- Awesome immune system, very rarely gets sick
- When he does, he'll mainly spend a weekend cooped up in his room
- Has a carefully designed low-fi playlist created specifically for sick days
- Passes the time by napping, video chatting with friends, or watching cheesy 70s and 80s movies
- Can't wear his headphones because he easily gets headaches when he's sick and wearing headphones
King Hippo 🏝 🦛
- Never gets sick, the hippo-human tribe is biologically immune to all known human diseases
- It's how he can eat literally anything and not feel pained from it
Piston Hondo 🇯🇵🍣
- Also has to be convinced he's ill to take the day off... but he's very stubborn about it.
- "I will NOT take a day o- ACHOO!!"
- Eventually gives in and pouts the entire day... hates being unproductive like Kaiser, but also hates total isolation from his friends.
- Reads manga to pass the time... despite hating isolation, he insists Heike stays out of the way... would hate to give Heike his cold.
Bear Hugger 🇨🇦 🐻
- Despite this, Heike happily waits on him and gives him medicine, while Yuki keeps Hondo emotionally sound
- And the number 1 nastiest puking champion award goes to...
- Gets sick more often than he likes to admit, mainly because of how much time he spends outside amongst the creachurs
- Alternative, natural medicine enthusiast
- Lomasi and Spruce are the designated caretakers. Spruce is literally the balto of the squirrel world since he's the one that has to go get medicine
- If he gets a cold during winter he'll take 2 months off to go "hibernating"... he'll later come back as good as new
Great Tiger 🇮🇳 🐅
- Gets sick in the silliest ways possible. Bro is like "Hey guys!! Watch me drink an entire orange juice bottle in under 5 minutes!!" and wonder why he gets sick a lot
- His magic gets all fucked up when he's sick. No clones to wait on him, so he begrudgingly has to take care of himself
- Abuses food delivery services since he can't cook himself
- If the illness is more serious than a cold, Hondo would deliver him medicine
- Watches the most random stuff ever when he's sick. Got hyperfixated on Beastars for a good 2 months after he spent a week sick
Don Flamenco 🇪🇸 🥀
- IS a sick victorian child. Can and will overdramatize his sickness online for attention
- Carmen will help him recover, but in a pushy way. Like "go fight someone already and maybe I'll let you sleep off the couch for one night" kinda way.
- Has to eat the nastiest white boy foods ever when he's sick. Unseasoned chicken noodle soup ahoy!
- One time he got sick over the spring season, and Carmen made him watch all 43 barbie movies. Now he has frequent nightmares about the animal sidekicks from those movies
- Goes through hell when he pukes and gets grossed out by himself vomiting
Aran Ryan 🇮🇪 😈
- Fakes sick days a LOT, so often that when he actually gets sick for real, no one believes him
- Also gets sick in the silliest ways possible. Bro is like "Hey guys!! Watch me down these mysterious purple bananas I found under me bed!!" and wonder why he gets sick
- Also has to be convinced he's sick
- Has the most adorable sneeze ever, but hates to admit it
- Also abuses food delivery services but is also rude to them. Got his grubhub account banned last year after punching an underpaid delivery man. Why? His order of 38 cheeseburgers weren't hot and ready.
Soda Popinski 🇷🇺 🍾
- Rarely gets sick now, but he used to have awful alcohol sickness back in the day... especially after fights.
- Scarily good at taking care of himself nowadays. Is able to cook his own meals and get his own medicine (ofc he goes out wearing a mask ofc)
- Painfully bored though... he insisted on staying away from everyone, especially Macho Man
- Occasionally has trauma breakdowns as he relieves certain sick moments from when he was an alcoholic
- His eyes somehow get even more red when he's sick
Bald Bull 🇹🇷 🐂
- Enjoys taking sick days because that means he's away from the boxing scene for a while
- His niece and nephew typically take care of him, but he is able to be self sufficient
- Binge watches all of his favorite soap operas
- Also has an adorable sneeze
Super Macho Man 🇺🇸 🌊
- Gets the most thought provoking in bed thoughts ever... "Why does Joe look old and young at the same time.... Is Disco Kid biologically blonde... how come none of us ever age-"
- Pretends to not be sick over social media, even though when he does get sick, he's suffering
- Pays for a caretaker to cook, get medicine, etc
- Whines and vents to his caretaker whenever he takes sick days
- Shakes his beach house when he sneezes
- Has a secret collection of nautical themed plushies he keeps on his bed. He cuddles with them when he's sick
Mr Sandman 💤🟢
- Not allowed to take sick days
- Exercises through whatever small cold he gets
- Even when the other boxers call him out for going to the gym when he's sick, one stare is enough to shut them up
- Mr. Dream is like "Tf champions don't get sick... get out there, you're fine!"
- At most, he'll accidentally sleep in a bit when he's sick
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