Casting these shadows

Baek Ahyeon | 19 | Water/Fire Atomic Vomit Green Tent | #377 Tracking: cirqueahyeon "Trying to prevent what's already begun." Closed roleplay; 18+ material may occur.

[fyjypnation]

[baekahyeonspain]

[cirque-ahyeon]

Prevaricating Role Model || Ahyeon & N

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

  Ahyeon was the type, Hakyeon was almost convinced about this, who deemed everyone she conversed with to be the reincarnate of a devil in one form or another. Which from what he hears he supposed it wasn’t entirely inaccurate for him but how she would have labelled the innocent in the same manner made him want to laugh.

"Mhmm," Hakyeon nodded along in a clear indication that he was just brushing off her sarcasm as if it was nothing new to him and hence could care less if he could care at all. "I meant the name of the park though," he pointed out knowing the girl could not respond. "I want to come back here later, but I don’t know the name of it."

He paused to ponder over what he did what to do in Shanghai. Fool around and eat? He’s come here many times already and been to the popular districts enough that he didn’t find anything specially appealing. Or anything he’d be willing to disclose to her, leader or not.

"Probably try the food around here," Hakyeon stated with a shrug to say he had no special outlook. He wondered what she wanted to do, since she seemed like she wouldn’t adapt to the influx of people very well. "I heard there’s a famous restaurant near the bazaar."

[cirque-ahyeon]

Opening her mouth, as if to quickly state the name of the park and prove herself to be superior is some aspect, the female snapped her lips closed only moments later, the anxiety of defeat likely showing through her clenched jaw. Ahyeon swiped her tongue across her lips and attempted to swallow her ignorance, promptly wondering how her mouth had become so dry so fast. She kept her eyes on him, aware of how obvious she'd become were she to gaze around in hopes of finding the name written somewhere.

“Just call it the one with the statue,” she finally replied, her voice somewhat forced. “It's not that great of a park anyway, so why bother returning?” A trail of guilt formed over the lining of her stomach. Dismissing such likely historical locations only made the young woman become more stiff. In East Asia, culture was everything. To brush it off would be comparable to slapping another with an iron – if not slapping oneself.

Ahyeon nodded along to his next words, feeling light rumbles of hunger herself. She could definitely go for some food. Howbeit, when the male went on to suggest a 'famous restaurant', her head stilled.

It seemed like with every word, the man was only showing more signs of being a complete fraud – in regards to his personality, that was.

I should call him Satan.

However, the glare Ahyeon punctured his eye sockets with internally did not nearly match the calm gaze she offered externally.

“A famous restaurant? They're usually expensive, and although we get paid relatively well, it's only enough for little indulgence. Restaurants also tend to be … unsanitary. Believe it or not, I used to watch television.” Her reasons this time were valid, howbeit her intentions for pointing them out – once again – were not. Never did the brunette realize just how dismissive and selfish-sounding she could be until now, when standing in the very presence of an obvious sadist.

[cirque-ahyeon]

The Characters Never Change || Ahyeon & Nino

[cirque-nino-deactivated20140504]

Nino wandered through the sea of tents, finishing his sandwich and trying to figure out what he was meant to be doing. It wasn’t time to perform yet, he was sure, but it also wasn’t time to sleep - which meant that he had no idea what to spend his time on. The circus’ schedule was definitely taking some getting used to. He finished up the last bite of his sandwich and brushed off the remaining crumbs on his jeans. Now what? he thought. Deciding that there was nothing better to do but continue exploring, he kept walking.

Just then, Nino heard a female voice calling out from in front of him, but didn’t recognize the tone so he continued walking. He had only met a few people, when anyone he passed spoke up, he simply assumed that they weren’t talking to him. This time, though, an only vaguely familiar girl suddenly appeared in front of him, speaking up with the same voice that he had just heard. Who on earth was this girl? Clearly, someone who didn’t appreciate personal space, as she hadn’t stopped until she was nearly on top of him. He started backwards in surprise, nearly tripping over in his haste to back up.

Nino didn’t think he had met her before. Yet here she was, babbling on and on in Korean about how he was a man, and not scrawny… he opened his mouth to give her a snarky response but she just continued to barrel on without letting him get even one word in edgewise, telling him he could push something for her. The girl seemed a bit… bossy. It seemed like she just expected him to help her. How funny. He snapped his mouth shut and waited for her to finish, his eyes dancing with amusement.

When it seemed like the girl was finally finished speaking, Nino crossed his arms and cocked his head. “First of all,” he said, “thank you for noticing that I’m a man, because obviously I didn’t realize that before. Second of all… you’re right. I am probably stronger than you, and I could probably push something for you.” In all actuality, he probably wasn’t much stronger, as he wasn’t much taller than her and physical strength wasn’t exactly his forte. Still, it was flattering, really, that she thought he wasn’t scrawny and could actually help her. And yet… “But why would I? Or, rather, why should I, hmmm?” He grinned and raised his eyebrows questioningly. If the girl truly needed his help, she would have to come up with a good answer.

[cirque-ahyeon]

Briefly the female questioned her execution of such a request. Believe it or not, her recent attempts to be less demanding and selfish were carried over to the encounter she'd just initiated. Although some may claim that she held the right to make assumptions – no matter the degree – having the status she did, the young woman couldn't help but feel as if her own approach was slightly off putting. Then again, she was in dire (Oh, how she loved to be dramatic) need of assistance, particularly of one with physical strength. Would that not justify her tone of urgency?

Man, she really needed to stop looking at things from multiple sides. It made things too confusing.

Moments later she noticed the other finally responding, first changing his position, coming off as almost challenging. Without realizing at all her muscles began tensing, causing her posture to become even more erect – if that was possible. Ahyeon felt as if she was bracing herself, but for what, she couldn't say. Not long after, the male began speaking and in such a manner the brunette felt her brows furrow for more reasons than one. Almost instinctively, she nodded along to his words, only half listening as her eyes gave him another quick look over.

Granted he wasn't that much taller than herself, she was positive he could beat her in a lifting contest. In this circumstance, though, all that was needed was a push! And surely he could accomplish such a minor task! However, with those thoughts, she may as well be calling herself useless.

It was his last statement – or inquiry rather – which pulled her attention back. The man's grin somehow made her feel less cornered, deteriorating any effects his earlier stance may have held on her. Ahyeon shifted her weight from one foot to the other, gliding a set of stress-relief fingers through her messy locks before settling each hand on a hip.

“I assumed me being a leader would have given you enough reason,” the female commented in a low tone. What more did people want? Did he want her to beg? Because there was no way in hell she would ever plead.

“I'm asking for your assistance, a simple yes or no could have done just well.” Despite the catty manner Ahyeon was accustomed to speaking with, this time she refrained and controlled herself to a more apathetic vibe. Indifferent was better than negative, wasn't it?

No. No more questions. Those were always the cause of headaches.

“Will you help, or not?” Was it always so complicated to ask someone for something? She couldn't remember the last time she had, to be fairly honest. Maybe it was this reason, because Ahyeon knew this was not the first time she felt as if someone was trying to make her fall to her knees and beg. Though, of course, this case wasn't in need of a performance. If his answer was no, she could simply wave him off, find someone else … and probably add him to the list of people not to count on. 

[k-popdaebakkk-blog]

[kmagazinelovers]

[cirque-ahyeon]

Prevaricating Role Model || Ahyeon & N

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

The lie was so evident that Hakyeon snickered in his mind over how she could have possibly thought he’d fall for that. Clearly she was just planning to use him to get them around places. For his convenience he’d rather not argue, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to fool around with her for a bit.

"The thing is, I only learnt it in school so I have a horrible accent," Hakyeon says with a sheepish smile, it was just like him to speak the partial truth since as much as he did learn from tutors, the accent part was a blatant lie. It was just to get her to speak although sooner or later he would probably cut in.

"So I can understand…but when it comes to talking they can’t understand me it seems," Hakyeon excused himself with the underlying tone that he was indeed hoping she’d do all the talking and if needed he’d do the listening. Just to see how far they could go with this.

In case she would end up pointing out their current position as an excuse to him knowing where they were and therefore inmply that he knows what he’s doing, he also added on, “You see… I got lost and that’s how I ended up here in the first place.”

[cirque-ahyeon]

Although the female had practically mastered the skill of concealing most emotions, there was still one feeling she could never draw over. But then again rarely did she ever try. Annoyance was her weakness, and only because she felt so much of it. It was nearly unbelievable there actually existed a time when she could never frown. Howbeit nowadays spoke a completely different tale – of a girl who could become irritated with a blade of grass for not growing. Hakyeon would be no exception. The way his lips uttered each poorly concocted excuse (She had completely dismissed the possibility of him being sincere.) caused her face to fall, the corners of her previously staight-lined lips melting.

Horrible accent? If that were truly the case he could simply carry around a chalkboard or a notepad!

Irresponsible creep.

Her inward comment toward the man was unjustified; he was a stranger other than his name and horrible Chinese accent, and she was very much aware of this, but that did not change her mind or mood in any way.

When the male claimed he had gotten lost, Ahyeon's upper lip twitched, much like it would when sensing something repulsive. In that moment the petite brunette added Hakyeon to her list. What this list was for exactly, she still hadn't a clue, but she did know that it was not good for the names on it.

“Well … you're in a garden,” Ahyeon responded, sarcasm threaded heavily throughout her words in efforts to disguise her cluelessness. On the off-chance that his story reigned true, he was not the only one who had arrived there randomly, but even so she wouldn't admit such a thing were her life on the line. “You're also under a rotunda,” she soon added. Speaking to others as if they were unintelligent, useless beings was among the worst ways Ahyeon could attempt to leave an impression of herself on members as a leader of their new family, but it always seemed to hold itself below the concept of pride – something the female knew couldn't be more ignorant, yet she continued on with her ways.

Letting out a sigh, her look of disgust and belittlement retreated as a calmer exterior took the upperhand. “What were you planning to do in Shanghai? Or are you ready to go back to the campgrounds?” Shady or not, this was a new member, and he needed to be treated as such. She would just have to remind herself every so often.   

[cirque-ahyeon]

Knitting to Noona || Mir & Ahyeon

Looking down at his hand, Mir frowned at the twines of colorful string found around his index finger, the surge of bright turquoise and rust red so odd that he stopped in the middle of a path just to stare at them with alarm. They held very few natural places in nature, especially together, and they actually tickled his hippocampus to the point where he recalled he had something to recall. A necessary step for remembering, his head tilted slightly to the side as he stared down at his hands, trying to think of what reminded him of both of those colors.

The cool blue reminded him of a pretty dress he had seen a while ago, fabric rustling peacefully in his mind as he tried to picture the person wearing it. But suddenly, the burst of red bleed into his vision, and he sensed a temper, hot words, burning eyes. Someone who didn’t nearly measure up to the peacefulness that the dress exuded. At that moment, his lips flickered up into a smile and he whispered, “Ahyeon-noona, of course!” She had been the one he had worked for the past two weeks, Mir having plunged himself into his work to distract from the cavern that still remained in his chest. He could not feel the pain any longer, but the absence loomed over him like a cliffside surrounding him on all sides, beckoning him to look and become weak at the knees once more. Instead of succumbing, however, he sat down, pulled out his needles, and began to knit.

At first, he didn’t know what his intended goal was, or who he intended to give it to, but he purged all of his feelings for his lost friend into the object, weaving each strand with unbridled affection, the confusion and loss twisting through like little strands of emotion in the blue. He had finished that project quicker than he ever had anything else, but he had been unable to complete it on the island, waiting for them to return to the main land for stuffing and buttons. The nice lady at the store he had gone to also hadn’t trusted the Korean to use the glue gun safely, so she finished it for him, sending him off with a pat on the head after.

It was complete, and he felt like he had a goal again.

In traditional Mir fashion, however, he knew he could not keep the item, especially since it was horribly flammable compared to his powers, so he had started to think about who could use so much concentrated love.

Picking Ahyeon had been way too easy.

That day, thanks to the reminders on his finger, had him finding his way to her empty tent in no time, the cute little octopus clutched tightly in hand so he wouldn’t drop and dirty it or its note. Arriving with no one else around, he realized that he had no idea which bed was hers, so he decided he would do one better. Leaving the tent, he waited until he spotted one of the cute little dollies he had taken to talking to, and asked if it couldn’t please give this to Miss Ahyeon when she’d return to her tent?

As always, the doll didn’t speak, but it took the octopus obediently, and walked into the strangely-colored tent to wait for her.

Mir smiled happily, hoping she would like it, and then proceeded to continue being startled by the bands on his fingers for the rest of the day, until he remembered to take them off.

With a tired groan, the petite brunette pushed away the flaps of the oddly-colored tent with such force, a light breeze caressed her cheeks as the fabric fell back into place. Although she had no reason in particular to describe her day as 'long', she did so anyway. Dealing with weird people for extended periods of time seemed like a good enough justification as any. Ahyeon had to admit, though, she had been growing substantially more tolerant lately; however, the word 'substantially' in her book may have had a completely different meaning in another's.

Her eyes aimed straight for her cot as her intentions became more rest-induced, but what her gaze settled upon resulted in a brief shriek and a shaky tent as Ahyeon jumped backwards, pushing herself into a cloth wall. Acknowledging the horrific sound that had somehow come from her own mouth, the female layered two palms over her lips as she blatantly stared at the creepy figure sitting idly upon her covers. The manager wasn't exactly afraid of dolls, not even Ren's specifically; howbeit, when one was in her tent (Where it had absolutely no business being!) for no apparent reason without her knowing, screaming was completely justified!

Without another thought, Ahyeon jerked forward, her arm extended, before she grabbed the doll and swung her arm through the tent flaps, throwing the doll an exceptional distance away from her area.

“I hate you, Ren. I hate you, Ren. I hate you, Ren.” The words escaped with a thread of poison, even as a tinge of guilt stung her tongue while she spoke … along with a barely-there hint of fear. She could see it already – the doll- no, an army of dolls, coming straight for her as she slept to take their revenge. The short brunette shivered as her spine became infested with invisible spiders.

Within mere seconds, though, the female's paranoid thoughts were ceased by the sight of another figure sitting upon her covers, this one unfamiliar and less intimidating. Her breath stilled with curiosity as she approached her own cot with a sense of caution, brows nearly meeting in the center with increased focus. The closer she came to the small object, the more calm she felt; soon, and when she was within range of it – the strange, plush-like figure – her hand reached out, but not with such rash intentions this time. Ahyeon gently picked up the object, and its attached note, settling it into her palm while she brought her face centimeters from it. It was baby blue, and created to represent a small octopus. From what she could tell, it was also knitted. By hand or machine, she didn't know, but nor did she care at that moment. She only wanted to know what such a thing, even though cute, was doing in her territory of the tent.

Despite the heavy air of doubt the figure was for her, Ahyeon continued onward, feeding her curiosity by taking the small note into her free hand and silently reading it.

To Ahyeon-noona, from Mir. I hope you enjoy it! I made it myself

The brunette read the short string of words over once more, just to be sure she'd comprehended correctly the first time.

Mir … Mir … Which one is he again? Oh yeah, the one Nichkhun's corrupting!

Okay, but this only raises more questions.

Why did he give this to her? Why did he make it? Was he really that adolescent to do arts and crafts in his spare time?

… It was cute though.

And Mir was very child-like in nature anyway. He wasn't loud and abrasive like many children Ahyeon had come in contact with; however, he did seem to obtain that same naivety and innocence. (The main reason Nichkhun was such a bad influence.) While she did not mind accepting small gifts, she did mind the everlasting question of “why?” She wasn't a nice person! She didn't help to prevent someone from drowning! The short female released a rather loud groan as she set the contents in the middle of her pillow. Maybe she wasn't as exhausted as she had earlier thought. With the intentions and hopes of clearing her once-more frazzled mind, Ahyeon stepped back outside in search of something – anything – that could keep her busy. There really was no escaping weird people or their antics, no matter how much she tried. 

[cirque-ahyeon]

Tea with a Side of Anxiety || Ahyeon & Ai

[xcirque-ai-deactivated20140129]

"The ones I’ve been acquainted with didn’t have time for me," although Ai was trying to be serious in this conversation, a small pout automatically forms at the memories of all those rejections she had recieved. Deciding quickly that it was probably not best for her to act childish in front of the leader she sat up straight and adjusted her pose before trying again.

"I just didn’t feel like bothering someone I never talked to for my own needs…." Ai trailed off rather meekly, her index fingers tapping together awkwardly on the table.

She looked at Ahyeon, a small part of her wondering if the other would say yes the next time Ai needed someone to go hang out with but couldn’t find a reasonable person around. She was after all alone too, which now that Ai thought about it, didn’t make sense. Well leader’s rights, she figured. Something she wasn’t going to have.

"Oh…sorry," Ai lowered her eyes to look at the fancy tablecloth. Well she should have figured the circus leaders would know her name. Although it was a just in case thing, but somehow she still felt bad about insulting the other.

Looking back up after hearing the question and figuring it was a chance to prove herself, she smiled brighty. “Yes, you’re Ahyeon!” She chirped rather gleefully, proud of herself for knowing.

[cirque-ahyeon]

Taking in the other girl's pout, Ahyeon raised a single brow with slight confusion. She was upset because people were too busy to accompany her somewhere? She was upset because she didn't have anybody glued to her side to annoy her with their overall presence? The leader released a sigh of defeat, accepting the fact that she would never be able to fully comprehend people like Ai – people who seemingly craved the feeling of having others around to share conversations and experiences with. Sure, the idea itself was enjoyable, but when it came down to actually having company, Ahyeon could not go more than an hour without gaining a headache out of the matter. Of course, she could only be lingering among the most irritating people.

“You could have waited until somebody had the time, or even asked someone you didn't know at all. It's more of a safety precaution than anything.” The brunette shifted awkwardly in her chair once more – not out of anxiety, for that was already beginning to subside, but out of a sudden fit of sadness as a realization struck her down. While she was positive the precautions were helping members to not get kidnapped, she was also sure that there was nothing to do about the members who had escaped of their own will. The only thing they had were the words spoken to every performer once recruited: 'Once you're in, you're never out.' Or something similar along those lines.

Ahyeon cleared her throat as Ai trailed off, her voice seeming to shrink along with herself.

“It's not exactly your needs. We are considered a family here and we all need to help each other. Although you've got your ability, you cannot risk displaying it in the public eye apart from performances. Ultimately this leaves you just as defenseless as any other pedestrian on the streets, and since you are relatively small, near helpless-looking and foreign, people here will undoubtedly see you as an easy target. And does anybody back on the campgrounds know you're here? If not, what are we even supposed to think if you vanish? It wasn't your own needs; you wouldn't have been selfish for asking someone. It's for your protection.” Ahyeon inhaled deeply, eyes abruptly settling onto the table surface as she realized she had never spoken so much at once. Dryness stung the back of her throat as she quickly reached for her tea and took a couple sips.

The young woman nodded to Ai's apology, only to roll her eyes shortly after when the phoenix looked so proud to know the name of the leaders. Resisting the urge to sarcastically clap for the other, she only nodded once more and mouthed 'good job'.

“Can you speak Mandarin?” Ahyeon asked as soon as the thought came into mind. She'd be lying if she claimed to not wish someone omnilingual would join the circus, but until then, she would simply take tally of who could speak which languages … especially in cases such as this where Ahyeon could not even communicate properly with the cirque's customers.  

[cirque-hyosun]

Liquid Confidence || Chunji x Ahyeon

[cirque-hyosun]

He had to admit, as much as being around Ahyeon was a treat, a cookie sounded pretty damn good at that point in time, his stomach gurgling with need at the thought of actual food. Perhaps his body was actually just trying to sober him up some, or steady his stomach enough that he wouldn’t vomit on her carpet, but at that moment, the imagined taste of a hot, melted chocolate dripping piece of baked dough sounded positively heavenly. “I’d like a cookie,” Chunji spoke breathlessly, sounding like he was talking more about a sexual favor than anything. Honestly, if a cookie was a person he could hook up with, he would have done it by now.

However, his fantasies about a certain baked good that could never withstand his attention kept him from noticing that Ahyeon had long since tuned him out, so he babbled happily on about his gooey buddies and just how awesome it would be if they could jump into his mouth right then kay thanks. Any of his normal intelligence (if his regular functioning could be referred to as such) was leaking out of his ears, dropping onto the ground below to leave him wondering why he didn’t just act on the impulses that chased him around when he spent time with the pretty brunette.

The pain resounding through him reminded him of why he didn’t just do that. Thank god he couldn’t hear any of the things that she was thinking, because he could act in one of three ways, and all of them would either land him in the infirmary, or kicked from the Cirque. First time in a while his lame ass power had actually kept him safe, rather than having been the thing that had endangered him in the first place. Some people just didn’t like being replicated for whatever reason, he didn’t know their stories.

It seemed like he was really missing so much –the man who was normally so good with body language let so much of Ahyeon’s slip past him simply because he was too inebriated to focus on it, something he would definitely regret later. Beyond their reunion, their conversations and behaviors had honestly never been so familiar, and he would mourn that later if he could even remember it. But seeing as he couldn’t even make out what current-her was saying, he sort of doubted that the finer details of this evening would stay with him.

So he just let go and enjoyed bouncing his sexy heart out on her bed.

His hair flapped against his face at the force that he moved with, a giant grin rested across his features, as he focused on not throwing up the contents of his stomach from this. Hah; people who couldn’t hold their alcohol were pussies. Not that he’d ever know, considering he strengthened his liver before he’d opened his first bottle. If he had the ability to watch out for himself, though, it would be stupid not to take it, no matter how much cooler he seemed for it.

Watching out for himself, as well as keeping himself out of harm’s way never seemed to apply to Ahyeon, however, because he had a feeling she could end him, but he moving out of the way of her strikes just seemed unnecessary. Yes they hurt, but somehow he liked the attention. And if jumping on her bed like a child did anything beyond majorly amuse him, it was to get his attention.

At the contact, he blinked and stopped bouncing, wide eyes locking onto her features, before she whined and he smiled. Somehow watching her reaction like this was really cute, and he couldn’t help the warm bubbling this conjured in his chest at the thought. He smiled largely at her, eyes and teeth sparkling almost anime-like as he kept his gaze carefully on her, lest his alcohol-induced ADHD take him away from Ahyeon when she actually was being pretty tolerant.

The insult slipped off of him like the last one had, but when he had once again gotten his chance to explain his actions to her, he raised his voice, determined to be heard, and slurred through his honest to goodness answers, “I came here because I wanted to see you! I was confused, I don’t know what I want from anyone, but I really like seeing you. I liked holding you. And I’m kind of obsessed with seeing you smile.” Chunji admitted shamelessly, “My room doesn’t have all of that!”

When she pushed him, though, he laughed and clumsily went to try to take her hands, singing out, “Do you believe me now? Dearest Ahyeon, you’re like a shooting staaaarrrr to meeeeee~” Because dammit, his serious had burned out by a lack of caring.

[cirque-ahyeon]

The female was taken aback by the man's sudden grin, even flinching slightly as if his demeanor was somehow threatening. And it very well could have been! Chunji's smile was so wide she worried herself with the idea of his face splitting. The twinkle in his eyes and gloss of his teeth were not unlike the characteristics of those maniacal killers in animated movies. She half expected him to pull a knife out of his back pocket!

Okay, maybe she was being melodramatic, but seeing the other's lips curl in such a way toward absolutely nothing was quite unnerving; thus, Ahyeon found her thoughts to be perfectly justified.

No matter how much effort the young woman put forward, she could not bring herself to draw her eyes from his face. It was as if her gaze had decided on its own terms to outline each feature of his countenance. The man's psychotic aura had dissipated the near instant he once again began to speak, leaving her breath to flow at a more comfortable pace and her posture to loosen its previously strict hold. From that moment onward, she deemed her inability to look away slightly more tolerable. At least she no longer pictured him straddling her with a bloody knife in hand. (It was very possible that she just wanted a reason to hate his grin, though.)

This time, the petite brunette found Chunji's words to be easier to focus on than the last; in fact, she continuously tried to tune herself out for a second time, only to repeatedly fail, each slurred syllable of his able to grip her attention and hold it dearly. His claims weren't heartwarming; they were not comforting, and they didn't at all speed the rhythm of her pulse.

Okay, that last one was a complete lie, but the idea of it being true made her pinch the bridge of her nose and let out an agitated sigh.

Ahyeon's hands buried themselves between her thighs while she skimmed her tongue over her lips and forced herself to look in the opposite direction. He was intoxicated! Was she really taking him seriously? Christ, who slipped her drugs?

His second-to final statement reached out for her chin and demanded her gaze to meet his. By this time her eyes were wide with some kind of terror and her lips had sucked themselves in to avoid any possibilities of her having the power to smile.

“I think you need water,” the young woman suggested after a couple of silent blinks.

When the man took her hands in a rather sloppy manner and began to sing, Ahyeon could finally toss any chance of him being serious out the window – a conclusion that relieved her, but also left an empty sensation within the pit of her stomach. It wasn't long after, though, that she realized her roommate was most likely deep into a sound slumber, in which case the brunette stole one of her hands back, only to lurch forward and press her palm to Chunji's mouth.

“Sh,” the female sounded, leaning in slightly to assure comprehension. Within moments she was standing, reaching out for the other's hand for no particular reason. “We're getting you something to drink so you don't torture your throat with all of that nonsense, and then, you are going to sleep. Okay?” Momentarily she felt like she was whispering to a child, her words even holding a “don't touch anything” tone. Ahyeon felt the needs to treat the other as such, though. He was in need of being taken care of, and tonight she was that person … unfortunately.  

[cirque-ahyeon]

Prevaricating Role Model || Ahyeon & N

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

The tone she uses to speak to him rubs him the wrong way; it’s the tone he’s heard since young and even now at conferences. People looking down on him. Usually he’d figure out how to bring them down begging however he holds himself back this time. He’s at the circus to have fun and she’s the ‘leader’. He’ll play nice till he gets bored of the place and leaves. For now he just bows again to show he means it.

"Well…not really," Hakeyon responded with a sheepish smile. It wouldn’t make sense after all, for someone who was enforcing the rule to let him get off it that easily. At least, if she still has good judgement and knew how to act like a proper leader. He gives her a rather soft smile even though the way she talked was slightly off putting for him again. "I know, you’re one of the leaders right?"

Hakyeon nodded. Quick to connect the piece that she probably lacked Chinese skills and was hence asking him a rather statement like manner, he decided to just push at her a bit and stated rather innocently with an equally innocent look. “Since you’re the leader and you chose this place, you must be even better than me though.”

[cirque-ahyeon]

“Good,” the woman commented, silently wondering why on earth he was grinning – even in a slightly nervous manner. She soon nodded her head in confirmation that she was one of the two leaders, even though she was positive his inquiry was rhetorical. It was as if Ahyeon was unable to turn off the prideful aura that practically oozed from her pores. She wasn't overly proud to be a manager, but she did feel much like she had to display some sense of self-gratification it she were to earn the members' respect. The brunette only questioned how Hongki managed to get it – their respect - without acting proud at all. Then again, Hongki was just weird altogether.

When Hakyeon nodded to her question, a discreet breath of relief left her lips, but quickly fell short to the wrath of his next words – which were spoken too innocently for their nature. Within moments, any hint of arrogance from her had faded and she instantly felt demoted to a status equal to peasant.

He was right to a degree.

She didn't know better; she knew nothing, but she should have. What kind of leader would travel to a country where they were unable to communicate or lead as they do? Ahyeon's throat burned with a sense of dryness, but she held back the urge to cough. Her posture straightened and she swallowed all remorse as she tilted her head in order to look at the male straight on.

“Of course, but I would rather observe your own skills. You could be useful seeing as not all of the members speak Mandarin.”

Ahyeon could only hope that she wasn't digging her own grave at the moment. Inwardly she decided that the minute she arrived back onto the circus grounds, she was going to have someone properly teach her the language. Someone trustworthy. No, someone she didn't speak to on a regular basis- no … someone she didn't even know. What could be worse than asking an acquaintance for help? At least with strangers there would be no use in associating after the job was done.

[cirque-ahyeon]

Tea with a Side of Anxiety || Ahyeon & Ai

[xcirque-ai-deactivated20140129]

WIth the way Ahyeon was staring (or even possibly glaring) at her, Ai wasn’t sure if she was going to be butchered one way or another for giggling at the earlier scene. A second thought popped into her mind as to wonder if she was going to be chopped a second time for going out alone. But it wasn’t her fault, Ai argued inside her head, since nobody would accompany her and she wasn’t going to ruin her own fun for someone else.

FInding the right time to pretend to stop coughing, she grabbed a napkin and pretended to wipe her imaginary drool off her face. Then as if she completely didn’t see anything earlier, she gives a friendly wave as if she just noticed Ahyeon now and then decided to go back to what she was doing in case she was about to get scolded.

Except that Ahyeon signalled for her to come over. Ai gave a small gulp as she drank the last of the overly hot tea. Here comes trouble. Refraining from making a fool out of herself, she sat on the opposite end of the table, hands gripped tightly on the edge of her feathery skirt and braced herself.

The question wasn’t something she had expected though and from where she had been staring down at the tablecloth the whole time, she looked upwards with a rather surprised face but quickly adjusted it to normalcy before the other could tick it off as something suspicious.

"I wanted to enjoy the Shanghai ‘mood’ for a bit," Ai replied with a small smile. It was true, she was full of curiosity for this big Chinese city. "And then I got hungry so…I came here for lunch."

There’s a brief pause as she debated whether or not Ahyeon would remember her name. They’ve talked rather briefly the few times they have talked and she doesn’t ever remember exchanging names and she’s not expecting a leader of a circus to remember all the members. So she pointed to herself before anything awkward happened, “I’m Ai.”

[cirque-ahyeon]

Addressing her own eccentric actions just moments before was not on Ahyeon's agenda; in fact, the women would have rather not acknowledge the fact that she nearly hid under a filthy table at all. Therefore she would go on as if such a thing never occurred, as if Ai-Kai truly had been choking riotously on only a sip of tea. How classy of her.

Her eyes took in each aspect of the young girl as she sat across from Ahyeon. The other's demeanor was not unlike her own minutes earlier when her lungs felt as if they had committed their own kind of suicide. Though she could not see Ai-Kai's hands, she assumed they were in a position complimentary to her posture as a whole. Deciding to entertain the overall notion that the other may be nervous, Ahyeon released a low sigh in efforts to soothe herself more so as to not unintentionally transfer her own agitation into the conversation with Ai-Kai. And who knew, maybe empathy would aid in calming too.

“Out of all the members we have, though, you expect me to believe that not one of them would have wanted to come with you?” Despite her attempts to comprehend the other girl's feelings, the leader had no choice but to keep her tone at least mildly stern. Nobody got a get-out-of-jail-free card, including herself even though she continuously acted like it. Ahyeon never claimed to be an exception to the rules- well, not one-hundred percent of the time, that was.

When the other introduced herself, Ahyeon's eyes briefly widened before quickly settling back into a normal shape. It was as if Ai heard the leader mentally calling her by a ridiculous name for the past few minutes.

“I know your name. It is my job,” she replied, suddenly becoming defensive over a petty matter.

Christ, where the hell did I ever get 'Kai' from. That's a terrible name anyway.

Unwilling to go any further with her thoughts, and utterly convinced the name 'Kai' had come out of absolutely nowhere, the petite brunette licked her dry lips once more.

“Do you know my name? Or shall I introduce myself as well?” Ahyeon was unable to rid herself of the guilt that repeatedly tugged on her hair like a child. Knowing the names of everyone in the cirque was her job. It was her responsibility to know everyone's names; talents; shows; tents; cottage numbers; and even personalities, all by heart. Being acquainted with each member led to a more efficient functioning business, and they were technically a business. Just without the blatant and desperate advertising.

Was she a bad leader?

...

No way. She kept things in order, and that was always necessary.

[cirque-ahyeon]

The Characters Never Change || Ahyeon & Nino

With a tilted head, Ahyeon's eyes glued themselves onto the glass, pool-shaped structure before her. It was the case purchased especially for their newest member, Sojung – the fishy girl. (The brunette was a bit surprised, and even proud, that she had actually known the other's name.) The glass container had arrived nearly two hours before, and it still hadn't been moved from the position it had been unloaded to, which was meters from the circus grounds. Although it would have been ideal for her to leave it be and wait for someone from the appropriate tents to move it, agitation and impatience were quickly bubbling within the pit of her stomach.

Unintentionally her left foot began to slowly tap with a slight rhythm. Ahyeon's teeth clenched around the flesh of her inner cheek, nearly drawing blood in her indecisiveness. She knew it wasn't technically her area to move the heavy performance equipment at the moment, but she felt slightly obligated to do it herself since it seemed like nobody else would until the next night.

After answering herself with a groan of irritation, the young woman firmly pressed her two palms against the five feet tall case and began to push; in spite of her efforts, however, the entire structure refused to move more than a centimeter per second. It seemed as if a half-hour had passed – in reality, no more than six minutes – and Ahyeon retreated her then red palms, resting her shoulder against the container.

Scraping her bottom lip with her teeth thoughtfully, a pair of chestnut irises defeatedly looked forward into nothing. Obviously she did not carry the strength to do this herself. Reeling herself back in, she recognized several faces of the performers as they passed. Those would be the ones she would never ask help from.

Eventually her eyes landed on a figure she only knew from occasional passes in the vicinity.

Someone she didn't know, and would not have to speak to afterward.

Perfect.

“Hey!” The young woman addressed as she started toward the male figure. Although there was relief in the fact that she didn't know him, Ahyeon's stress level increased at the realization that she didn't know his name! She swallowed the urge to scream out of frustration before finally stopping a foot from the male. “Hey,” she started once more, “You're a man.” It didn't strike her how the other might feel, hearing such an obvious statement come from a random person. “You're not scrawny either, so you probably have more strength than I do, right?” Although the question was rhetorical, she still did not give the man time to respond. “Well, I assume you could push something for me anyway. Or pick it up. Whatever your physical ability will allow.”

[cirque-ahyeon]

Prevaricating Role Model || Ahyeon & N

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

  Not breaking eye contact with the shorter woman, Hakyeon debates whether to pretend he’s never been informed of the rules or to pretend that as a new comer he was still rather forgetful of something that was still out of habit. After all, who’s expecting a man of his caliber to still need to stick to a buddy system when wandering around Shanghai.

"Sorry, I forgot. I’ll remember that for next time for sure," Hakyeon says with a rather sheepish grin and even bows to prove that he was ‘genuinely’ apologetic. As genuine as a fish could be when it comes to being sorry. At least it buys him time to think and though his face still holds that rather remorseful expression, an idea locks into place in his mind.

"But if I’m not allowed to be alone, then can I accompany you for the day?" Hakyeon asks with a rather inocent tone as he stands up again and gives a rather thoughtful smile. As innocent as he made it sound, as if he thought this to be the best way to solve the problem, it was also a subtle jab at the fact that she too had nobody else with her and that surely isn’t fair leader or not. Leaders were meant to be role models. Well, leaders whom weren’t like him.

[cirque-ahyeon]

“You might want to fix that memory of yours,” she replied, her eyes following his figure as he bowed.

So far the man was apologetic, polite and kind - the same three traits Ahyeon generally associated with people not to be trusted. She had yet to meet anyone genuine with those same values … anyone who wasn't a complete moron in her book anyway. Then again, she'd just met Hakyeon. Who knew? Maybe he was an idiot too. Until the brunette could be proven that, though, he was untrustworthy.

It might have been a bad habit, but the female's nose crinkled when she saw the sweet grin worn upon the other's face. If he truly was this nice, she couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the people closest to him. Just the idea of looking at such an innocent face for so long made her stomach turn for all the right and wrong reasons.

The female sighed at his request, feeling the obligation to agree. For one, she couldn't allow him to continue onward alone. She also felt uncomfortable sharing her hypocrisy with a member of the circus.

“What, did you think I was just going to let you go?” She asked as if she had already decided to accompany him.

“I'm Ahyeon in case you hadn't known.” Her words weren't intended to give off an arrogant vibe, and although she was aware they most likely did, the brunette didn't bother correcting herself. Instead her eyes carefully scanned the tall male before her a second time, her lids narrowed with blatant concentration.

“You know Mandarin?” She asked in such a way, it seemed more like a statement than a question. If he joined in Shanghai, he had to be able to speak the language, right? If not, then he would likely be useless during their time out. If so, then she would have easier means of getting about and communicating with anybody of importance who didn't speak Korean.

Inwardly the young woman rolled her eyes to herself before sighing once more.

People are not objects, Ahyeon, you can't keep them around for personal use.

Man, a growing conscience was irritating. He was probably going to do the same with her anyway! He was creepy. Of course, on cue, her mind ordered her to stop judging people so quickly. The woman was beginning to believe a mother took up vacancy inside her head.  

[cirque-ahyeon]

Tea with a Side of Anxiety || Ahyeon & Ai

[xcirque-ai-deactivated20140129]

There’s a rather evident pout which formed around her tightly sealed lips as she gave rather exaggerated stomps and huffs of her breath while exiting the circus. The phoenix girl wasn’t as frustrated as she implied to be although she was a bit downhearted at the fact that nobody wanted to spare her some time. They were either busy with practice or had prior arrangements and although Ai knows full well she can’t blame them for anything, she still childishly sulked for a bit anyways.

Ai had to admit it didn’t actually bother her though. The rejections may have stung a bit but she’s just as used to travelling alone as she is to socializing with a member of the circus. There still was that rule but…one thing which would comple a bird would be freedomm so here she was breaking the rules and knowing she was doing so at the same time.

The morning had been rather uneventful although rather enjoyable but noon was passing by and her stomach had begun to growl. She quickly shuffled her light feet over to a nearby restaurant and sat down to order some food and satisfy her groaning stomach.

It’s while Ai’s looking around while waiting for her food that her eyes spotted a rather familiar being. Ahyeon she recalled from the back of her mind. One of the leaders of the circus. She temporary froze for a split second to wonder if she would get scolded for being alone but it appeared that the other girl was thinking about something else.

Ai would’ve expected many things from Ahyeon but her hiding under the table was not one of them. She couldn’t help but stare at the act (rather unsanitary and pointless in her opinion) and wonder what bizzare unwarranted thoughts stemmed such an action. It caused her to giggle a bit since she didn’t expect to see this happen and was clearly amused by it all.

Then Ahyeon’s eyes met hers and Ai’s giggle died in her throat. They were quick to come out as a series of cough instead as she pretended to choke on the hot tea she was currently drinking so not to spur the other’s temper. She hadn’t talked to the leader other than the necessary greetings but to a young seventeen year old, leaders were always meant to be intimidating and someone she didn’t want to mess with.

[cirque-ahyeon]

The very moment her eyes met with the other's, Ahyeon thought she caught a hint of a smile in the female's lips. In turn the leader's previous look of distress faded into one of defensiveness as her back straightened to counter the feeling of being small, which sourced from the tips of her shoes only barely scraping against the floor. The brunette easily recognized the other girl as being a member of the circus; therefore, she was among the group of people Ahyeon last wanted to seem vulnerable in front of.

Barely a second later, however, the other – whose name Ahyeon couldn't decide was Ai or Kai – began coughing as if her beverage was searing her windpipe. The leader's eyebrows pressed toward each other while her gaze never left the woman who was choking.

She openly inspected Ai-Kai for a brief moment. The first thing she noticed, of course, was the fact that the girl was alone – something forbidden when off camp grounds. Honestly, did nobody take that rule seriously? First N, now her? Sure, Ahyeon could be deemed a hypocrite, but if anybody had the authority to go against a superior's word, it was her. And that was because she put in half of that word! Ahyeon didn't expect to go on much longer like this without getting fussed at by Hongki, though, so her plans were to take advantage of the man's temporary ignorance.

The next thing the young woman had realized about Ai-Kai was that she was one of the few people Ahyeon's had casual interactions with. Although brief, it was still rare, and therefore, noteworthy in her eyes. So far, the girl had yet to irritate her or strike her as sketchy despite the fact that she could be uncomfortably nice.

It certainly wasn't unusual for the petite manager to wave off the presence of others, even under 'important' circumstances, but at the moment she almost felt … desperate for a proper distraction. Twirling her hair didn't work, and the area beneath the table definitely did not. This must have been one of the main reasons for inventing cellphones – to help steer one's mind elsewhere when caught in an incommodious situation. It wasn't as if they were used for anything else anymore … other than drug deals, anyway.

There was also the never ending compulsion to silently helm members into the direction of following the laws of the cirque, though it wasn't at all effective with her being such an apathetic role model.

After taking each thought heavily into consideration, Ahyeon balanced a single elbow onto the table surface as she raised her forearm and used the same pointer finger to signal the other over. The look upon her features was the same as that of an agitated girlfriend who needed to talk. Inwardly she thanked Ai-Kai for conveniently being in the same restaurant; however, the brunette didn't quite know how to feel about possibly spending up to an hour with the her.

“What are you doing out?” She asked firmly with a volume Ai-Kai could have hopefully picked up.

[cirque-ahyeon]

Tea with a Side of Anxiety || Ahyeon & Ai

Her breath was lowly toned, coming in and going out so slowly one could easily perceive her as dead were she not sitting with noticeably erect posture. Her stillness was forced to the point of shaky fingers, and her eyes were fixed upon the table surface as if she were pondering the furniture's universal value. Ahyeon's hips shifted uncomfortably as the sound of laughter feet away presented itself like it were only centimeters from her ear. The breath of a nonexistent stranger caressed the side of her neck as she licked her drying lips. The walls surrounding the complex had already tried to close in, but ultimately failed due to the condensed crowd.

Without meaning to, the brunette could easily pick up any and all conversations, voices, and tones. The scent of locals took over any smell the passing food would have given off. By this time, only one question held itself above all others.

How could a restaurant grow so congested so quickly?

Not long before it was only evening and empty seats were still giving the young woman comfort. Within an hour, though, all feelings of content had vanished when the female was no longer able to even locate the exit.

In efforts to distract herself by the growing pain in her head; chest; and stomach, she took a strand of her own hair between her fingers and began to twirl it slowly. It was a method which could generally calm anybody – even her. However, it was mere seconds before even that turned stressful. Ahyeon's fingers grew impatient and bored; they began twirling quicker, and eventually began pulling the chosen lock. With a sigh she let go and press that same palm onto her fabric-covered thigh.

It might have been silly, but in her eyes it was a matter of self-preservation as she stared at her own ankles that swung carelessly beneath the table. She knew of her own claustrophobia, but wouldn't she feel more comfortable where there were less people to breathe?

Feeling obligated to take the chance, Ahyeon slowly slid down the back of her chair, grasping the edge of the table for support. As her bare knees met the cold floor, they also became acquainted with a sticky substance.

While she was ready to take the chance of a seizure, she was not willing to put her sanitary status in danger.

“Okay, nope,” she commented to herself before quickly pulling her weight back up into the chair.

A pair of chestnut irises scanned her side views in case anyone happened to be watching her. Catching a glimpse of the sky's darkening shades outside, she briefly hoped there would be less people by the time she would need to leave for the cirque's performance that night. As her eyes continued skimming customers, they eventually laid upon a set of orbs staring back at her.

[cirque-ahyeon]

Prevaricating Role Model || Ahyeon & N

[freak-hakyeon-deactivated201403]

Hakyeon’s been to China and specifically Shanghai many times in the past for business trips. They all start and end in the same manner. A supposedly ‘wonderful and friendly’ conference with old men who mock and jab at him with hidden words full of distaste. So what if he was young? He was smarter than all of them, as proven so evidently by how he always manages to corner all of them in one way or another by the end of the meetings.

Then they try to appease him while trying to crush him, taking him out to Hengshan or Xintiandi for some ‘fun’ at the bar. Hakyeon already knows what they’re planning ahead of time. Get him drunk, or intoxicate him with woman and leave him to rot. One or the other they try to pile their money onto him at the same time they try to throw him under. If anything, they’re foolish. Hakyeon’s never played any other role but the puppeteer in this world and he has no future plans to ever change from his position. So he always leaves at the end of the play with a delightful bow, the puppets all mentally mangled beneath him; never realizing how their own skits were played out with them as the characters.

Now that he no longer had to deal with those kind of people, he was going to enjoy Shanghai for what it’s actually about and not only the upper-end of its’ brilliant lights. Leaving the circus and the sleepy members behind, he makes a plan of places he wishes to visit during their stay here. He’s heard of Lu Xun Park and the beautiful scenery, deciding that he wasn’t too eager to jump into the busy fray yet he finds his way there.

Loitering around aimlessly for a while, Hakyeon finally manages to chance upon a rotunda that gave him a beautiful view of the lake and all the while shading him from the sun. He’s admiring the view when an unexpected person bumps into him. He’s strong enough not to budge, giving a rather quiet ‘it’s okay’ until she talks to him. In Korean too though even if she spoke to him in Mandarin, he would’ve quickly understood what she meant.

Hakyeon looks over at her, instantly recognizing her as one of the leader’s of the circus. He pauses for a second, realizing he’s been caught in the act of going alone. Deciding he was going to talk himself out of it later, he gives a nod as his eyes crease into a smile.

"Yes I am. I’m Hakyeon, going by stage name N," Hakyeon says rather lightly, deciding to bow to the other as a small courtesy. Lessen what will happen if he gets in trouble later.

[cirque-ahyeon]

Although it would take a few seconds for the man's answer to arrive, Ahyeon took advantage of the limited time to give him a look over. His jawline was borderline contour, and his cheek bones were well-defined. His eyes held the ability to draw one in and shut one out at will. Overall his face was extremely handsome, causing the shorter woman to obtain a speck of hope that he was a member. Not for her own benefit, but for the circus in its entirety. While she didn't enjoy having a shallow outlook, the cirque's main source of income seemed to be females, and the females had a tendency to come more than once when there was a pretty face around. Now whether that was because the women of the audience thought they might have chance or not, Ahyeon didn't know. Either way the group earned more money and if that meant bringing false hope into the hearts of their customers, then so be it. Business was business, as heartless as that sounded.

The petite brunette blinked up at him a couple of times in thought, her features clean of expression as she awaited his response. When his reply finally came, she gave a slow and single nod.

“Well, congratulations on being recruited, N, but you do know about our policy pertaining to being off the grounds, don't you?”

Briefly the young woman felt like a hypocrite, but that quickly passed once she convinced herself she had the right to be alone due to leadership. There was that one time she'd scolded Hongki for doing the same thing, but that was a different case entirely. She wasn't actually upset with the other leader; she just … wanted to see him. Also, Hongki was too irresponsible and idiotic to have the freedom to go anywhere alone. He shouldn't even be allowed out of his tent alone. God, he was dumb.

After being momentarily side-tracked, Ahyeon somehow pulled herself back into the current conversation.

“Then again, you are new,” she started, nearly giving into the little voice in her head that sounded a lot like Junhong.

Go easy on him. He's new. He probably forgot.

A month after leaving, and the kid could still irritate her.

Ahyeon shook her head lightly to herself, dismissing the voice and any other temptations which involved letting Hakyeon go.

“Either way, there's really no excuse.” The woman folded her arms loosely over her chest as if to signal she was done arguing with herself, stating her final answer. Lately she'd been doing that a lot – going back and forth on a single matter with herself. On one hand this, on another hand that; it really was tiring, considering that it never got her anywhere. She couldn't help but blame the people she'd let get somewhat close to her. They're the ones responsible for imposing morals into her life.