Official Correspondence of the Bureau of Secrets

[ckejack]

me & the booys are riffing on a live reading of the archive observation reports of the imperial city market district. this guy on here just bought a mandolin. bitch!! bitch!

[ckejack]

i would NEVER misappropriate funds from the office stationary acount to buy chewable hemlock,, you BRUTES , oyu selfish, horrible APES

[ckejack]

kids are always saying "dragon-bloods invented essence fever". Wrong. dragon-bloods stole essence fever from the sidereals. dragon-bloods couldnt even invent "2+2".

[ckejack]

having a vision of dying completely alone and waking up in a cold sweat to write up a Scathing performance review of a colleague who slighted me 37 years ago by cutting in line at the buffet

[ckejack]

just obliterated a birds nest with the moment that is murder becsuse it could see me taking a bath in my house at a certain angle

[ckejack]

sorry for not reading the office memos ladys. i was busy yelling "MY MONEY IS TAKING A SHIT! MY MONEY IS TAKING A SHIT!" at my belleaguered secretary

[ckejack]

its time like this that i wish we had the Guidance and the insight of Tammiz Ushun and that one old lunar guy who died

[ckejack]

if we taught children in schools how to Duck Fate accidental deaths and unfavorable reviews would decrease by over 1000% tops

[ckejack]

pissed off; going to the office to pretend to choke on a chunk of nougat and see if any of my worthless colleagues give a shit

[ckejack]

mara has illegally returned to hell because I was listening to thw "splish splash i was taking a bath" song too much

[ckejack]

"the ambrosia dole isn't enough" Yeah listen up nomb nuts if its so bad then why dont you sl;ap a stamp on it and deliver it straight up your Ass.

[ckejack]

screaming at the bureau steering committee about how Fucked I am if guys with shitty beards keep saying I need to "tag my posts"

[ckejack]

luckily everyone else in Creation is stepping up and giving me the gift of "Shallow Judgement" and "Lack of character" and "vulgar Aggression"

[ckejack]

please remember that if you jerk off on this special day you are the Bastard of Creation

[ckejack]

for calibration my colleagues got me a broken pair of "tweezers" and a "tweezer repair kit", which is also broken

[ckejack]

Heaven, as I understand it, is a sort of "Hell" that I was banished to upon death in my previous life.

[ckejack]

back when we were doing all the solar purge jokes we were havin the time of our lives. we thought the fun would never stop‚ And we were Correct