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Claire Keane
will byers stan first human second
if i look back, i am lost
we're not kids anymore.
ojovivo
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@clandistynes
°｡･:*･ﾟ✧｡･ﾟ┈• after all, a heart is an extremely heavy burden ;
this is an original character rp blog, featuring main muse TAOJIN and secondary muses ZEPHYR and GLASS. it’s literate and low activity, with extremely triggering topics such as eating disorders, suicide, and self harm. DM’d by Casper !! NOTE: this is a side blog, that follows from hub acct. @ghcstcries
please read the RULES before following !! 18+ !! + INTEREST TRACKER ✧｡･ﾟ
PROMPTS FOR THE HEAVY HEARTED
the burdened:
“ being alive is exhausting. ”
“ i ruin everything i touch. ”
“ no one ever helped me when i needed it. so, i just. try to do my best to keep others from feeling that kind of loneliness. ”
“ i feel like the pain is all i am anymore. ”
“ i wish i remembered anything other than loneliness. ”
“ i’m not a particularly good person. but sometimes i wish someone would think i am. ”
“ i’m just always the one who gets left behind. ”
“ i never seem to belong anywhere. or to anyone. ”
“ i’m alone. and it’s my own fault. but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. ”
“ i don’t know how to just live. i constantly feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. ”
“ i always expect people to hurt me. because they usually do. ”
“ i don’t know how to let go of my trauma. i don’t know what i am without it. ”
“ it’s better if i’m alone. i can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one close enough to get hit by the debris of my fuck ups. ”
“ there are just too many people depending on me. i can’t rest. i can’t let them down. ”
“ i don’t have anything or anyone left anymore. ”
“ i’m not strong. or brave. i survive ‘cause there’s not really any other choice. ”
“ i tried to give up before. but the universe just didn’t let me. ”
“ i just want to be done. i’m tired. i’m so, so fucking tired. ”
“ i know it’s selfish. but i wish someone would just take care of me. ”
“ every time i start to feel like things are getting quieter and i can feel safe, something bad always happens. ”
“ i tend to love people more than they love me. and it’s okay. i don’t mind but…it can be lonely. ”
“ i just don’t feel like my life makes any difference to anyone. i’m just here. ”
the comforter:
“ hey, look at me. i’m listening. you can tell me anything. ”
“ how can i help you feel less alone? ”
“ i’m here and i’m not leaving or letting you change the subject. now talk to me. ”
“ i know you feel like you’re alone and i’m not going to invalidate that. but i can tell you that i’m here. and i know there are people who want to care and help if you’ll let them. ”
“ whatever it is you’re struggling with, i want to help and it’s not going to make me look at you any different. ”
“ i like having you around. and not because of what you can do for me or give to me— i like you. i value you as a person. ”
“ i just need you to know that you’ve never been ‘nobody’ to me. you’ve never been nothing. ”
“ you’re important to me. you hear me? you’re important. and that’s never gonna change. ”
“ i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep. ”
“ i want to take care of you. please, let me. ”
“ no one is meant to be all alone. that’s not how humans are built. you don’t need to do all this on your own. ”
“ you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you. you never did. ”
“ i can’t promise you aren’t going to have any more hardship. but i can promise i’m gonna be right here to get your through it. ”
“ you make a difference in my life. i’m not just saying that. it wouldn’t be the same without you here and i don’t want to find out what it’d be like to not have you around. ”
“ next time it gets this bad, you call me okay? now you just sit there and i’m gonna make you some tea and soup and we’re gonna talk this out. ”
“ is it getting bad again? ”
“ you are so much stronger and braver than you think. ”
more random dialogue prompts ,
“why do you have that look on your face?”
“finish what you’re doing, we have to talk.”
“what have you done to yourself?”
“did you do something different with your hair?”
“it doesn’t do any good to get worked up.”
“when was the last time we had a real conversation.”
“are you in the witness protection program, or what?”
“there’s something wrong with me.”
“no, i don’t hate you.”
“hey stupid.”
“we’re aren’t them.”
“looks like i’ll live long enough to make you pay.”
“you know you’re wrong.”
“i don’t understand, why are you doing this?”
“now, before i say anything, promise me you’ll stay calm.”
“what makes me so special?”
“you have no idea what i’ve been through.”
“you really don’t have to do that, not for me.”
“did you really think you’d get a second chance?”
"how about we don’t do that.”
“i have a lot going for me, but humility is not one of them.”
“you’re the worst.”
“i don’t need you right now.”
“don’t just stand there, looking at me.”
“i thought you were supposed to call me.”
“take my hand.”
“i need you.”
“you’re allowed to need help sometimes.”
“for someone who doesn’t like to feel things, you sure feel a lot of it out loud.”
“when this is all over, i want it to be you and me.”
“why won’t you tell me what happened?”
“you don’t know what this means to me.
“i know it doesn’t make sense.”
“i’m trying really hard to keep it together.”
“i know you’re new, but we do things a little differently here.”
“your voice is putting me to sleep.”
“did you find what you were looking for?”
"you knew and you didn’t even warn me?”
“well, i guess that’s broken.”
“i thought it was part of the act.”
“you think u don’t know you’re only here because they sent you?”
“you promised to call me if you didn’t know what to wear.”
“you can keep a secret, can’t you?”
“how could you do this to me?”
“put the gun down, dearest. i have news!”
“i know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but you need to know something.”
“if you’re here to tell me what happened last night, someone beat you to it.”
“people think i’m weird.”
“i think i’m losing myself again.”
“you can’t be here.”
“i wish you’d come to the funeral.”
“do you know what today is?”
“so, you broke my favourite mug… and you’re breaking up with me?”
“i need to get out.”
“it’s like i’m cursed or something.”
“you are remarkably well-behaved tonight, what have you been up to?”
“you gonna eat that?”
“sir, the pony rides are for children only.”
“i don’t want you to worry about that anymore.”
“we’ll never make it in time.”
“you’d be late for your own funeral.”
“you should have seen it coming.”
“oh, good, you’re here! hold this.”
“why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about nachos right now?”
“is this how you flirt with everyone?”
“how much longer till we’re there?”
“what have you done?”
“it’s time for you to repay that debt you owe me.”
“where did you get that? who gave it to you?”
“what kind of mother has thoughts like that?”
“i know I haven’t been what you needed, but i’m here, and i wanna help.”
“i never want to hear you say that again.”
“you’re all i have.”
“i know it’s not perfect, but i did follow the recipe this time.”
“i was doing so well until you showed up.”
“don’t eat that! i made it ‘specially for our guest.”
“it’s not that i don’t like my life, it’s that i don’t have the energy to enjoy it.”
“how can you stand this place?”
“don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t exactly blend in.”
“you need to stop.”
“i don’t like that look, what happened?”
“is that seriously your password?”
“what’s your problem?”
“you had no right to use it without asking.”
“oh, wow, you weren’t kidding.”
“i couldn’t trust my own parents to protect me.”
“i’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. wait, no, i’m not.”
“why do you want to help me?”
“ten bucks for that piece of crap?”
“we have to hurry, they’re coming!”
“hey, look what came in the mail!”
“do you want to get a drink or something?”
“please tell me you didn’t eat that.”
“the worst part is you didn’t even notice.”
“if i wanted help, i would have asked.”
“wanna tell me what’s going on with your grades?”
“you need to leave.”
“talk to me, okay? i need to know what’s going on.”
“i do blame you.”
“sometimes life deals you a bad hand, but you can still play your cards right and win.”
“you’re no longer useful to me.”
“i’m not good with sarcasm: if you don’t like me, just say it.”
°｡･:*･ﾟ✧｡･ﾟ┈• @timetake cont. from HERE ;
┈• far away, a place altogether not the same as the diner the two were so silently sitting in, that’s where the girl across the overly waxed table seemed to be. she was wholly unaware of the chattering of strangers, the clanking of dishes and roaring of stoves, the regular bustle of people living their regular lives, going on and on and on ...
❝ that wasn’t an answer to my question. ❞ GLASS had always been blunt, a crude disregard for the subtleties of dancing around one’s feelings, and an inherent need to be immediately heard and understood. she had to get her point across now, because who knew when her partner would look away, and forget everything they’d spoken of, leaving the ghost of a girl across from her silenced once again.
her eyes flickered with a spark of enthusiasm, a grin spreading across her lips as she mirrored her partner’s position, elbows pressing into the table as she leaned forwards. ❝ haven’t you ever wished you could be someone else? i mean, just for a day or two, just to see what it’s like. ❞ she was projecting, sure, but she didn’t really care, did she. ❝ i’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be someone else. someone really powerful or really cool, you know? ❞ ✧｡･ﾟ
vanguardlost:
The smoke fills his lungs and spins his head, blood pressure rising with every smooth inhale and exhale through flared nostrils. People find it calming, the act of smoking. Funny enough how the body reacts the complete opposite. All just mind games. All of life… is just a mind game, after all.
Tao, his harmless companion sits at his side inquiring. There was so much more to know and so much more to see, clearly a dull life lived. Had he really not seen people with talents like this before? Hyeok starts to raise some of his own questions, too - though decides to keep them to himself for the time being. “Controlled. I could light your cigarette with it.” Is his response, head motioning toward another stick from the pack. Grab it. He demands without a word as his elbow bends, hand raises and finger uncurls to light the tiniest of a blue flame. “Go ahead. I won’t hurt you.” Though Hyeok is certain Tao doesn’t anticipate he would, nor would he mind - too much. Seems life to him has been full of hurt. Well, that makes two.
“Bigger stuff can get out of control… I’ve been better about it but a lot of it also depends on how much anger I harbour. I can lose it.” Hyeok sits in quiet, watching as the man at his side slouches back into the confines of his beaten black couch to fidget at wounds no longer worth playing at. “You might look just as bad.” Blue eyes linger over to the empty fireplace in front of them, just a ways beyond the coffee table. Reluctantly he stands up to make his way over there, crouch low and begin stuffing some crumpled newspapers (ironically of himself) beneath blocks of wood. He lights it. Probably the only act of kindness he’ll display all year. “Yeah, because I’m always too hot.”
°｡･:*･ﾟ✧｡･ﾟ┈• @vanguardlost ;
┈• maybe it was the blur still thick in his head, or the knowingness that at any moment he could totally be killed, but TAOJIN was feeling weirdly ... good. sure, everything hurt, and like yeah, he knew everything about this guy was a big red fucking flag, but honestly? he didn’t care. this was the best he’d felt in a long, long time.
bony fingers stopped their picking at his offer, and he took another cigarette between his lips and leaned towards the man’s finger to partake in a moment that felt way too intimate. he lit the cigarette and pulled back again, the faintest of grins crossing his face at the comment. he didn’t say anything on it, but it was obvious he had no such concern. really, even if HYEOK was willing to harm him, wasn’t that the fun part?
❝ you do all that to yourself then? ❞ he asked, nodding faintly to the burns across the man’s body. they were ugly and deep, almost looking like they’d come from within. made sense, didn’t it. he had a sick thought, momentarily wondering if the man had ever hurt himself like that on purpose, just to see how bad he could handle it, but he kept that to himself. he didn’t want to come off as too off the rails.
his legs hooked up under him, crossing there and folding to make himself look even smaller as HYEOK moved to light the fireplace. and again, TAOJIN just stared. everything about this guy was kind of amazing, wasn’t it. ❝ sounds on brand for you. i’m always way too cold, so. ❞ all skin and bones. naturally. ✧｡･ﾟ
redemptioninterlude:
Can you hold on? To the edge, with your teeth, can you hold on by the skin of nothing, and keep yourself from slipping, falling? What’s waiting at the end for you but the vision of your father, laying back in a bed, sick still because THAT’S WHAT REPLAYS within her head each time, him wrung out and exhausted, a body fighting against him for his life. Selfish, because despite missing him so horribly now, she could dredge up memories of herself feeling resentful for having to take care of him all day, Gia too young, mom working too hard just to keep the bills paid. Rue grew up too fast…
It’s the same for him, isn’t it? Barely able to open her eyes, but through that slit-view, there he is bending closer with a bothered expression, he’s too high for this, and she gets it. So is she, and maybe that’s the problem, give her an inch to relax, and BAM - her heart would just give up where it was, a slower grin on her lips when he finds himself cursing her slumped form. “Well - you’re welcome. For not dying. I mean like… could you fucking imagine?” through dry lips, she’s laughing, that hiccuping giggle that ratchets within her lungs, she’s just thankful because holy shit, she really did feel right upon the edge there, didn’t she? Caught up in doing too much, she wants to apologize to him.
He looks like a fucking angel to her right now.
“Shut up.” the grin gives her away. He really is, isn’t he, since that night a few weeks ago, dragging him around to her place, where her mom feeds him reluctantly and they hang out on afternoons and they’re doing each other good company so her mom doesn’t mind. At least until Tao Jin gets more into THE WHOLE SCENE with her, popping over to Fez’s, who eyes him wearily watching them skip out and fall deeper into it together. Out of breath, and it feels like, out of time, she reaches out to catch at his hand, using it to help haul herself upwards. “Thanks. Thanks… and um. Wanna just vibe for a bit before we get out there and like, have to do the whole countdown thing?”
°｡･:*･ﾟ✧｡･ﾟ┈• @redemptioninterlude ;
┈• there was something inside of him that wanted to be angry, some twisted part of his soul holding her accountable for ruining his high, ruining his night, probably RUINING HIS LIFE because like fuck, this shit was expensive, and FEZ didn’t seem all too interested in alternate means of payment, did he. no, he had to fight to get his shit, run circles and play tricks until he had the cash to hand over to the kid with the face tattoos, whoever he actually was. it was kind of pathetic, the depths he was already prepared to go to in order to get his fix.
but then RUE looked up, life coming back to her eyes, lids drooped and heavy like she’d just woken up from some sort of a nap, and holy shit, everything felt like it stopped. the muffled music playing went silent, the background fading into nothingness as he stared at the only person, the only fucking thing that existed in this world anymore. and god, did he stare like a dumb dog for way too long before realizing he was being so embarrassing, eyes dropping and teeth biting the inside of his lip as he helped her up. he was like, all fluttery and shaky, in the way that a baby spinning around on a computer chair would be, all high on adrenaline and dopamine, and unsure as to whether he was ready to burst into laughter or fucking puke his guts out.
❝oh, did I say thank you? I didn’t hear that. ❞ quick comeback, good, play it cool and don’t act like an awkward freak, TAOJIN. his throat cleared as he helped her up, straightening and pulling his sleeves over his wrists as he remembered exactly how he was supposed to use his legs.
❝ uh, yeah, sounds good. ❞ he’d actually forgotten about the countdown, and that it was new years, oh, and that people tended to KISS AT MIDNIGHT. fuck. ❝ let’s get some drinks and head outside? it’s too packed in there. ❞ ✧｡･ﾟ
HyunA & Dawn “Ping Pong″ Music Video | Behind the scenes
hyunjin x red lights (for @hyunpic)
