I still have eyes in H.Q.If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made it this far.Keeping to the shadows, I wait under the protective boughs of the cherry tree, biding my time. I shouldn’t have come here, I know. It had taken a miracle, as well as a handful of threats and bribes to get me inside these walls, but I had to see her.Before it’s too late.The soft rustle of movement and the tap of footsteps alerts me, and I know my servant has done his job. I feared that once she knew the note was from me she wouldn’t come, and the feeling of that shocked me to my core. Because for the first time, in a long, long time, I was afraid to lose someone. I see her before she knows I’m here, her hair hanging loosely over her shoulders and her eyes reflecting pale moonlight. My chest aches at the sight of her, and in an instant all I want is to take her in my arms, to whisper a thousand apologies, a thousand promises, and never let her go. But as she draws closer I see that there’s something strange about her. Something that’s not quite right. When I step out from the shadows her eyes widen for just a moment and she takes a step forward before she hesitates, pulls back, a mask of hostility that stabs me in the chest falling into place.“You shouldn’t be here,” She says softly, her eyes darting to the side as if to make sure we’re truly alone. For a few moments I can’t say a thing, too caught up in drinking in her every feature. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen her, and I had thought of this moment every day since. “I had to come,” I say finally, my voice firm despite my feelings. “To make sure you were-”“What?” She snaps, interrupting me with a look of absolute hatred. “To make sure I was what? Alive?”I inhale sharply. She has every right to be mad at me, I only wish she didn’t look so damn beautiful while she was. “You made me fall,” She steps forward again, her voice breaking on the words, and now I notice the swaying of her body, the glaze over her eyes. “You almost killed me, Lance.”I swallow thickly, taken back by the sheer bitterness in her voice. We had always challenged each other. Argued, insulted, cursed. But this… this is different. “You’ve been drinking,” I say, observing her unsteadiness, the fierce emotion behind her eyes. She huffs a laugh, stepping so close I see starlight illuminating the freckles on her golden skin. I’m reminded of days and nights with nothing but her at my side, and my resolution falters, if only for a moment. “I’m celebrating,” She hisses up at me, and I don’t miss the venom coating her words. “I’m still alive, aren’t I?”Fearlessly, she holds my gaze until I look past her, unable to face those accusing violet eyes for a second longer. I’d seen them so often in my dreams - cursing me, taunting me, loving me - and knew that the mere thought of them paled in comparison to the fury of the real thing. I almost give in to those eyes when her fingers trail over my jaw, so gently, and my skin turns to fire under her touch. Why did I come here?“Where is Valkyon?” Her voice is quiet when she asks about my brother, and for a moment or two I debate which answer to give.“He’s safe.”She lets out a dark scoff, her voice dripping with disbelief. “Is anyone safe with you?”In an instant I catch her by the wrist, pulling her close as my eyes burn into hers. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” The words grit out through clenched teeth, and I find it increasingly difficult to keep my composure. “I overestimated your abilities. You’re an Aengel, I thought that…”Her eyes flicker over my face, searching it relentlessly. What had I thought? That she was stronger than she is. That she had the ability to save herself from that situation. That I was fine with using her as a pawn to fuel my own escape. “I was wrong.”Relaxing my grip on her, her hand slowly slips away, and I miss her touch in an instant. My jaw clenches at the memory of Memoria and I close my eyes tight. Of all the wretched things I’ve done in my life, watching her fall was the worst. But there were things in my life that were too important to turn back. Things I had worked towards before I even knew of her existence. It didn’t help that in the weeks that followed, I was haunted by her. That I hear her voice in my head, always. I missed you.I hear it again now, soft and sweet, and the sound of her voice crashes over me like the ocean, pulling me down deeper and deeper. Until I realize the words are not in my mind, but falling softly from her lips.“Lance, I missed you.”My eyes snap open, meeting her tear-filled gaze head on. She’s so much more beautiful than I had ever imagined. So much more dangerous. My lips are on hers before I can stop myself, my arms tightening around her waist to pull her closer. She tastes like honey and wine, and I hate myself for ever letting her go. Her mouth parts and she lets me deepen the kiss, my tongue sweeping over hers. My hands tighten on her waist, pulling her against me with a desperation so fierce I can’t stand it. “Come with me,” I breathe against her lips, my forehead resting against hers. “I’ll take you somewhere safe.”“Lance…” She pulls out of my arms and steps back, her eyes turning hard. “I am safe.”I shake my head fiercely, knowing she can’t stay here. Once the attack happens, no one in this wretched place will survive it. “If you stay here you’ll die.”“You won’t stop, will you?” Her breath shakes, so quiet in the darkness. “Not for anything. Not even for me.”I steel myself against her. It’s the only way to keep from failing. If she won’t come with me, then there’s nothing else I can do. I have a job to do, a people to avenge. I will not stray from my path. She lets out a sharp breath, and I know she’s seen the truth on my face. I know she’s finally seeing me for the villain that everyone warned her of. In a certain, sadistic way I’m relieved. It makes the task ahead all the more easy, and I tell myself she’s right. I won’t stop. Not even for her. “Then so be it,” She clenches her fists and I know she’s trying to be strong, but when the first tear falls over golden skin, something in my chest cracks. “But when I die I want you to know it was your fault.”My hands twitch at my sides and I want to reach out for her, but I force myself not to. When she speaks again her voice is broken, reduced to nothing more than a whispered sob.“It was all your fault.”I stand frozen, immobilized by her accusation. I do nothing but watch her walk away from me, knowing this is the last time I’ll ever see her. By the time the overwhelming urge to go after her tears through me, it’s too late. If they find me I’ll be imprisoned, and then all of this, everything I’ve done, will have been for nothing.But something deep inside of me knows that if I were going to give up this war for anything.It would be for her.
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