bittersweet.
wow, i haven’t been on here in months. but i was just thinking about what a great outlet this place used to be. i’m at the point where i have to start growing up and it really scares me.
i’ve been a college graduate for almost a year now, but now student loans, job hunting, and all of life’s scary things are catching up to me. it was nice because i got a break for a little bit when i was student teaching, but the feelings of not being a student anymore are bittersweet. i already miss being a student because i didn’t have to grow up yet. i was warned, i heard this feeling would suck.
i’ve managed to freak myself out in a matter of twenty minutes. overwhelmed myself with the pressure to apply. and what’s worse: being called back after applying to do an interview or to do a demo lesson. after that, when you finally get the job, the feeling of meeting students’ on the first day, and actually doing the job. these feelings are familiar from september from my first day student teaching and everything turned out great. but it doesn’t mean i’m not three times as nervous.
i just have to remind myself that this too shall pass and remind myself what i great support system i have. people are rooting for me and they know i can do this. remind myself that if i’m comfortable, there’s no room for growth.
now, i just have to believe in myself.
