Here I am. Speaking up my feelings, late night thoughts, again.
Iâm afraid of forgetting what I wanna say, or just that the way I feel changes due future circumstances, but rn it feels honest and true and what I actually should do. My terapist would be proud.
Iâm on a situation where itâs so close yet so far of what I âtruly desireâ. So Iâll tell you. Weâre different af, and I honestly donât know why we got this far. Maybe itâs the organic way we met each other, and how you showed me back then, that this is a world of possibilities. I hate grumpy people, but somehow, youâre not actually grumpy, and pretending that you are, quite triggers me to make you laugh or lose your âpostureâ. I really like how vulnerable you get when no one is around, how do you call me because my shower is giving electrical shock and we laugh cause I slipped on the wet floor. And gosh, the sex.
Come on, I canât be feeling all of this alone. But you keep me pushing me every time something gets intense on a different way. Gemini?. I wonât blame the stars, thatâs on you. Iâve been at this same position, not so long ago, I feel you. But I wonât call you anymore, I canât be the only one who does it, even if Iâm only being a woman that knows what she wants. I ask myself if itâs because Iâm not the hyped styled girl youâd like to have, or if our concept of great parties is different, or if your friends think your too cool (maybe thatâs my mind tricking me). But set yourself free!! Stop caring about what others may think, show your face on the pictures, laugh in front of everyone. Youâll never be this young EVER again, live here and now!!
Enjoying your company doesnât mean that I wanna marry you, calling you for a smoothie during mba break doesnât mean youâre the only one I have. Itâs not a lack of options, itâs a choice. And I wonât choose whoâs not choosing me back.
And trust me, my bar is low when it comes to that. I donât ask for too much, but come on!!! Iâm silenced on your Instagram, everytime you expose yourself a little bit on a message you delete it. I wonât hurt you.
I donât even know what Iâd like to have with you, Iâm not even sure if I believe in monogamy, but come on, Iâm way too much for settling to this lack of interest (and I know that you can give more than this, since you already have). Putting some new boundaries on my life. I wish I could send this to you, but you donât speak English lol. And youâd think Iâm nuts.
But I donât live for half experiences, not anymore.
stormborns
areudirty
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
gummygunk
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
