I’m posting this to get advice on how to improve my writing.
As the rabbit’s throat crushed under the pressure of the cat’s menacing bite blood sprayed out. A metallic tang stung the tongue of the helpless animal as its lungs filled with blood.
The feline felt the animal go limp in its jaws. Triumph. The large grey feline drug its kill further into the shrubbery.
Time to feast on the misery seasoned flesh of the weak, to gorge himself on the fear-tainted body of the fallen, letting the raw tissue linger in his mouth.
A humanoid scream pierced the brisk night air. The monster gazed up from his meal, what he saw only invigorated his thirst for death.
Another rabbit had seen him. Eyes filmed over with grief, body ridgid with fear.
And with that, all the restraint the creature had managed to drum up evaporated. He lunged like a disgusting creature from the pain-drenched pits of the damned.
The furry vermin ran, bouncing across the grass in the desperate plea for life. The feline gave chase, approaching the rabbit in hot pursuit, inches from the petrified animal.
When he could almost taste the blood he longed for, the cat felt a sobering pain. It jolted up the pads of his paws and surged up his leg. The beast bit and scratched t free the thorn, but to no avail.
The infernal lagomorph took the time its enemy’s hindrance had provided and made a mad dash for the protection of his warren.
Rising to his feet in time to see his prey slink out of view, the feline yowled like a banshee, his scream of the infuriation ringing through the countryside.
Slighted, he lumbered back to his prey with the stench of defeat radiating from his form.
From that humiliating moment forward, the ghastly being resolved one thing, he would taste vengeance in the entrails of his enemy.
If any one has any critiques that would be great.
jbbartram-illu
snowghoul
pixelskylines
kaledo-art