there was an endless sea of dread within the pit of her stomach , almost like it was JUDGEMENT day and she was unprepared . having to face up to her disappearance , to leaving those she cared about in the lurch . spending more time in her wolf form , she could evade her worries , she could settle in the calm that things were as simple as eating and sleeping . but being human , that was so much more complicated . she had to face everything , and she wasn’t sure she was READY for that ? being a wolf , she was able to ignore the memories just a little bit longer , the memories of her dad torturing her , of the eyes of a man who was supposed to love her inflicting pain . of seeing him again . it had shaken her so badly . but now she couldn’t hide anymore , despite her wanting to so much .
hands are quivering as her hand reaches up to push her keys into the door , she’s taking a deep breath , trying to calm the quake of the chaos in her lungs . it was so SUFFOCATING . she’s pushing the door open and stepping inside , chocolates scanning the vicinity of her apartment . it was looking LIVED in which was a good sign , she decided . keys are discarded upon the counter before amber’s heading to her bedroom , ready to grab a change of clothes , she’d thrown on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt she’d stashed for turning . but she needed to feel fresh , to feel CLEAN ----- maybe from her sins too , not just literally . eyes fall upon the figure in her bed , first she realises it’s callum . and her heart full of panic settles , but as she walks closer ---- she notices the second figure , a man she doesn’t recognise , and she’s stepping backwards . “ okay . . . i’m NOT one to be pissed off about someone staying in my bed , but i didn’t realise that included bed buddies i don’t know TOO . ” maybe there’s a slight bit of bitter jealousy filling her veins , an awful coldness ---- MAYBE part of her is realising how much she’s missed being g o n e . { @hclflcght / @pcthstrayed }
maybe something had snapped within her, being trapped in the underworld all that time ago had unearthed trauma she hadn’t processed, stuff she’d pushed down. it was probably something she’d planned to COME back to, to sift through ---- or that’s what she’d told herself, instead of dealing with it again though, she did what she did best. threw herself into work, and hoped her emotions would work themselves out, eventually. she spent more time changing, being among the earth and trees helped calm her, at least for a little bit. but patience was wearing thin, maybe it was why she was irritated now. having stepped out for a few minutes to BREATHE during a shift at the asylum, amber loved her job ---- and yet the more time she was spending there, the less it made sense for her to be a psychiatric nurse. things were cracking at the seams. she’s sat upon the couch in the break room, the chaos rapidly burning through her, causing light to turn to dark, anguish over the memory of her dad turning to anger. it’s why her claws are visible, dug into the flesh of her palms, a feeble attempt of trying to get out of this. but it’s cut short the moment the door opens, her head snapping up and hues of normal chocolate are stark bright yellow, her wolf side winning as she’s spitting words through clenched fangs. “ did you NOT notice the fucking do not disturb sign ? or are you stupid ? GET out. ”
it was the small JINGLE of the chains that gave him away, henrik was sure. even as he tried to nestle such thing under the stack of towels. “i… could explain this.”
confusion litters ochre features as chocolate hues watch what he’s doing , the jingle of chains heard instantly from heightened senses . she’s tilting her head , curiously as he speaks . “ so ----- explain ? it looks to me like you’re trying to hide SOMETHING . ”
there wasn’t a single part of the girl that wanted to leave her bed , mind is left on a constant loop after the encounter ---- or the dream , or whatever it was . all amber knew was that it was all incredibly real and she still couldn’t rid herself of the sickening sinking feeling at the pit of her gut . terror had left scorch marks on her soul that would NEVER fade . she’d seen her dad . somehow , and it’s like all the stuff she’d pushed into a box labelled DO NOT OPEN at the back of her mind had unravelled . it had made her it’s prisoner . she’d missed work , she’d not eaten , she hadn’t even had to leave her room thanks to having an ensuite . it was almost like she was catatonic . the door opening causes the slightest of movements from her , head tilting ever so slightly , eyes scanning ----- only to meet him , and somewhere , deep beneath the trauma , and the fucking mess that she was , her heart ever so quietly came to life . as if just by seeing him had sent shock waves through her . voice is quiet as she speaks a single word of significance to her ----- his name . “ callum ? ” although tone is empty , she’s asking him if everything’s okay wordlessly . because there was no need for words with them , there never had been ---- not since his time in the psych ward . it was like they were in tune . like how she knew just by looking at him at that second , that he WASN’T okay either . maybe that was how he found himself in her room , needing her comfort ? or maybe he’d felt it too , how she was falling apart . some connections need no explanation , they simply are . { @hclflcght }
entirety of her being is on high alert , mind completely frazzled and heart feeling like it was going to leap from her chest . she’s running , as fast as she can ----- lungs are aching from air , air that wasn’t down here . surely what she just saw ---- no that couldn’t be real . she had just stared at the very person who’s throat she tore out all those years ago . her dad . a cruel man , someone who was devoid of love . and yet , he was here . like it was some warped nightmare sent to punish her . she’s coming to a stop , eyes frantically darting for some kind of hiding spot . it’s then that she sees someone and amber doesn’t entirely know what to do . “ . . . are you REAL ? ”
rationality tended to settle in too long after the episodes. not like a jolt, or a wake up call. slowly as he digested what he thought he’d seen, what he thought he’d heard. today was the last phase; he couldn’t possibly have seen his brother because he didn’t have a brother. they’d been through that in treatment … amber had been through that with him. this was, shit, what did they call it? removed from his search for the term by her entrance, offering her a smile as he shifts on the couch. almost unconscious now, shifting to accommodate her. arm resting on the back of the couch to let his fingers brush her shoulder. “ hey. ” as a friend, he knows he shouldn’t bother her. she’s probably exhausted, he’s already been through it. as ( essentially ) his babysitter, he knows he has to. “ i had … ” what is that word? “ sorry, i had one of those, ” at the tip of his tongue, “ relapse things. ” maybe they should adjust his dosage. “ it was about that guy again, theseus. ” it sounds ridiculous now. “ i thought i saw him. ”
despite every attempt she’s making to swallow down her concern , it’s futile ---- she’d become fond of him , in fact that was essentially an understatement . amber didn’t know what she felt because she hadn’t even thought about acknowledging it just yet , maybe it was because of her job ---- though he’s not at the hospital anymore , it’s still incredibly new to her . to feel something for someone she’d looked after . but right in this very moment , what she feels isn’t important , all she cares about is making sure he’s okay and something in her gut tells her he isn’t . she doesn’t even have to rely on her werewolf senses for that . because she knew him completely and utterly through and through . settling into the couch beside him is easy , scarily easy because it’s so normal for them now , so comfortable and she leans into his arm around her shoulder . a sigh of pure content falling from her lips . the touch of his fingertips upon her skin is soothing , welcomed and instantly she relaxes . his words however cause concern and she lets chocolate hues meet his beautiful blues . hand reaching for his spare hand , to hold ---- a comfort for him . this couldn’t be easy to admit . it’s hard for her when she knows that some of the things that he’s claiming , being a werewolf for example , wasn’t entirely far fetched . part of her wonders if what he saw was real ----- but she doesn’t want him to think she’s humouring him . “ hey ---- don’t beat yourself up over this , okay ? ” she murmurs , head still rested upon his shoulder , soft kind eyes on him . “ recovering from what you went through ---- it’s never going to be an easy thing and these things ? they happen . but you’re not alone , i’m here , always . ” her words are spoken with complete admiration , hand giving his a squeeze . she pauses for a moment , a small smile settling on her lips . “ what happened , when you saw him ? ”
her entire body was aching , if that were even possible ----- a twelve hour shift and she was beyond thrilled to finally be home and able to kick back and relax . stepping inside the apartment , she takes off her jacket and puts it up on the coat rack , and shuts the door behind her . there’s an instant smile that lifts at the corners of her lips when she sees him . a warmth flooding her chest , a feeling indescribable that she still hadn’t acknowledged , but all she knows is she’s happy to see HIM . he was who she looked forward to seeing . “ hey roomie ! ” she exclaims , before throwing herself down onto the couch beside him , head rested upon his shoulder ---- chocolate hues are scanning to his face , concern immediately upon her features as she notices somethings up with him . “ what’s up ? is everything okay ? ” / @hclflcght .
there’s a cold rippling and causing skin to dimple , as she’s getting ready to pull on clothes she’d set aside ---- work was a lot , and she’d felt incredibly stressed in the past few days , but it was all cured the moment she let herself change and run through the woods on all fours . the beauty of being a wolf , apart from the excruciating pain , she was able to be in and among nature on a much deeper level . hairs on her neck stand on end as she stood there , undressed . apparently there was an uninvited guest . “ you know the polite thing to do is to NOT stare , and let a girl get dressed in peace rather than to lurk and gawk in the trees . ” she comments , loud enough for them to hear , lifting her dress over her head . “ seriously ---- just show yourself . ”
going out more often, check. finding his place in a crowded room, strongly working on it. invading a wedding he had no business being at, surprisingly check. mostly milling around the wedding floor, watching others interact. he’d spoken to a few people, and it seemed to have gone well ( or at the very least, well adjacent ). taking solace in a few moments for himself, having taken it upon himself to find the exit. the door creaks when it opens, a few meters from him. head turning on his arm, smile cracking easily onto his face. “ are you following me? ” he sounds incredulous, but really, he’s grateful to see her. arm patting the grass by him as he moves his hand back under his head. “ i’m just looking at the stars. honest. ” // @clawedtrauma
the girl only had a few minutes break , fifteen at the most and yet she found herself itching to get outside ---- to breathe air not polluted by chatter and find solace in time to herself . the wedding was beautiful , an easy way for her to make some money on the side from studying and working at the hospital , but it was still all these years later overwhelming for her to be in a huge place with so many people . it brought her back to the lab , to people crowding her , watching her cry and begging for them to stop . the moment she opens the door , the air is welcomed , and she revels in it . but hearing his voice only causes a smile to lift at the corners of her lips . oh she had a soft spot for callum . his innocence ---- it was something she missed about herself , something she recognised and all she wanted to do was protect him . “ oh you wish ! ” she jokes , eyes alight with amusement , before she takes a seat beside him , knees to her chest with her arms resting atop . “ they’re beautiful , huh ? completely peaceful . when you’re looking at them it’s like you forget that there’s so much wrong with the world . ” she’s grateful to be by his side , it’s comforting , he’s one of the few she can relax around . she’d grown to care about him a lot .
chocolate hues are on the couple dancing , a small smile lifted at the corners of her lips as she watched almost in awe of it all . it was the first wedding she had ever been too , a wedding that she hadn’t been invited to however , but that she was working . student nursing wasn’t exactly paying too much so getting to work small gigs like this helped a considerable amount when meeting her rent . it’s as she feels a tap on her shoulder that she almost jumps out of her skin , head turning to the person . “ oh shit , sorry . i was a million miles away . ” she breathes , ochre features full of apology as she gives them a soft smile . “ what can i get you ? ” she gestures to the bar before speaking once more . “ it’s like a fairytale huh ? the couple i mean . ”
That’s Amber Murphy not Alisha Boe. She's 21 years old and a Werewolf. She may be +Selfless, +Strong, & +Reliable but She's also -Cautious, -Fiery & -Opinionated. (OOC: it's ya girl ess, gmt, 23 )
so it’s ya girl essy here , back by unpopular demand with another original character . are any of you sick of me yet ???? here’s my baby girl amber ---- i’m gonna give you a run down of who she is .
amber jade murphy was born into a family who originally adored her , who loved her more than anything ---- however , her mother loved something a lot more . alcohol , and her dad wasn’t a patient man , being a man with high status in chicago , being a doctor at the lab ---- he kicked her to the kerb without thinking when amber was barely two years old . and that was the last time she saw her mother , only later finding out she had drank herself to death ---- without her daughter to keep her grounded ,to at least give her something to live for , it was pointless . clifford murphy had made sure to strip her mother , hayley murphy of any rights , even going so far as to have an injunction .
but this was all his ploy , a plan he’d concocted , a man who was deranged and sick in the head . he knew of the past in hayley’s family , though her mother wasn’t triggered , there was a werewolf gene that ran through the family ---- one that amber would inherit of course .
and being a keen scientist and not entirely caring or loving , at the age of two years old , he took little amber to the lab and that was where she remained until her teens . becoming his test subject , a life that was all she knew . poked and prodded , tested , scanned , all to satisfy his mad scientist ways . and she had no chance of stopping it
it was normal to her , especially because she didn’t remember her mother , not entirely at all . she remember scents . nothing else . she had no photos . she had nothing .
she was prone to outbursts , anger she couldn’t quite control , because she didn’t get to do what other kids did , confined to a small room , and deprived of contact with people . the only contact she had was with a tutor . not going to public school , only being tutored to satisfy her fathers wish of her not being dull and unintelligent . though the lessons were always supervised ---- can’t have her finding out too much about how her predicament just wasn’t right .
it was when she was nine years old that she snapped , exhaustion weighing heavily on her ---- being monitored at all hours , being unable to express herself , any time she’d put up a fight before against tests , she’d been subjected to violence but it was at this point , with a body littered with scars that she snapped . a lone scalpel on the counter and she’d stabbed her father , right in the carotid artery . with eyes filled with tears , a little girl who still loved her dad but had grown to hate him , she watched him die . watched the blood soak white tiles as sobs rippled her chest .
that should have been her way out ---- her dad in a body bag , only the minutes of watching him die ended up with her on all fours --- a surge of both pain and power flushing through her , a small body almost not being able to take it . but she was strong , resilient . someone walked in on it , her hands drenched in her fathers blood , chocolate eyes flashing amber and suddenly ---- it was like they knew it was coming . push her so far so she triggers the curse . they subdued her , when she was writhing on the floor with wolfs bane . a pain that was indescribable , like her insides were aflame , raging and burning her from the inside out .
she became someone else’s test subject for over a year , poked and prodded , only it was worse because she could heal ---- until she finally saw her chance one day , a full moon ---- she attacked them before they chained her up , knocking them out and heading for the doors . killing anyone who got in her way . fight or flight kicking in well and truly . an eleven year old girl , terrified of being stuck there for the rest of her life . an eleven year old girl desperate to see outside the confines of the four walls . of the prison .
she’d wandered for days , after turning and changing back ---- until she finally was found by someone , someone who got her into contact with social services and she was moved to a group home in san francisco , she was shown true love of a parent , of siblings and though at first she was closed off . she welcomed it though , and she settled , though it took time . she went to high school , enjoyed her life and her freedom and had a keen interest in helping others .
that was where her interest in nursing came from , only it was in a psychiatric nursing , people still stuck in a prison , much like she was ---- she wanted to make a difference , let them know she was on their side , that they weren’t alone like she felt . and after college , that’s exactly what she did .
it was there that she met callum , and there was the same fear in his eyes that she had in herself , it was like she was looking in a mirror and she knew she wanted to help him ---- especially after claims of him being a werewolf . consider her interest and curiosity piqued . and so she got close to him in order to protect him , to be a friend , and to let him know that there was someone there for him . maybe even caring about him more than a patient and nurse should .
it was when he got out that she suggested he stay with her ---- maybe to help if he did ever turn , or to just keep an eye on him . she was interested and invested in his well being and he meant a lot to her .
amber controls her turning by wearing a moon ring , it allows her to live her life to the full without inhabiting any interests or work . though she does still transform at will , when needed . because there is no more free of a feeling than being turned and running through the woods to her .
she just wants love , she’s been so deprived of it all her life and to be loved and cared for is a lot for her . she needs that . so love my girl thanks .
