[clear-signals]

I’m hard at work on Clear Signals Pt. 2. In the meantime, tell your friends about the iBook of Pt.1! It can be purchased in iBooks on a Mac or an iPad here.

[clear-signals]

Clear Signals Pt. 1 is now an interactive book available for iPad and Mac. Please buy a copy for you or a friend!

https://itun.es/us/NtXT6.l

[clear-signals]

08₀₃₂

think I've spent too long cloaked, hidden, scurrying around like a frightened animal / 18? 19?  can't keep track anymore / don't know what koski has planned for the boy, or why on earth (ha ha) he went and gave him his sight back / he's gotten so tall, I can't believe he's walking around like my dream / maybe koskis getting soft getting weak / probly got a plan though it seems he always does / he thinks he has plans but he doesnt know plans at all / he thinks so little but im thinking big / just another couple months im gonna have another moth and nothing will stop me from taking her where shes meant to be taken to / gonna sail up higher and higher / gonna find someplace that the flowers pick themselves / seems like a kind of poetry the way i been invisible so long, and sweet blind simeon will be the first to see me / seems like a kind of poetry the way im making a key into a map and a book into a door / it sure will be pretty if i can take some folks with me / i wish nyyti was still here / she would be so proud of me / she would kiss the back of my hand / she would come with me / i hope some of them will come with me / i just been alone so long /

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (08//08)

[clear-signals]

07₀₃₁

I've been busy. Funny how the ship has had trouble all over. Funny how I've had to work on just about every single piece of it over the last year and a half. Since Moisés got ground up, no one ever goes into his room. No one notices anything. Only two replicators on the whole ship and the one in his room just sits there not getting used for anything.

I've been digging through his things. He was always so excited about showing me all his treasures and artifacts that I know he wouldn't mind. He might not have been so happy about what I've been doing with them. He liked them... what was his word? "Pristine?" If I ever see him again, I'll beg his forgiveness. Not just for making all these changes to his collection either.

I dreamed about my mom again. Usually I wake up before she reaches the end, but last night she finished it:

away and away sailing into a keen city which nobody's ever visited,where

always           it's                 Spring)and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves.

Funny how many parts there are in a ship like this. Funny how a mechanic like me could take the whole damn thing apart and scan every one of them into a replicator no one misses. I wonder how long it would take to put them all back together again?

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (07//08)

[clear-signals]

06₀₃₀

The ghosts of so many hung over me, daring me to look into the black and feel anything but despair. The ship's engines were falling horribly out of sync without my intervention and each time I closed my eyes, I saw the grisly scene again. I heard the shredding meat, the wet screams.

I hadn't left my room in weeks, and when I finally did it was to visit the blind child, Simeon. I tried to look into his eyes, but they wandered and darted. In the vacuum of space, there was this single pure thing, and he was cursed to live in darkness.

When I returned to my room I slept for the first time in three weeks. I had the most beautiful dream.

The Moth Mullein was barreling toward a dead planet. She burned through the atmosphere and struck the ground like molten glass, then shattered on impact into a thousand gleaming shards. The ground was dry and brown, but where the shards fell, they burrowed into the earth and began to hum. The single tone became harmonies, and soon a chorus was singing from the dry dirt. As the song rose, so did mountains, and with them, vegetation. Whole topographies escaped, covered in verdant plants with slick, wet leaves. In the distance, a ridge rose up out of the canopy, and two figures walked slowly up into view.

It was Simeon, still an infant, but walking upright with his hand clutching Nyyti's fur. The dog was guiding him up. As they reached the top, the child's eyes began to open and...

I woke to Nyyti whimpering softly. Though she was sound asleep in the bed next to me, her legs flitted and twitched.

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (06//08)

[clear-signals]

05₀₂₉

We finally landed on the first planet. It was beautiful, temperate. The air was breathable and crisp and we didn't have to wear our suits. Moisés and I climbed to the top of the first ridge we found, and we couldn't stop smiling. The view was remarkable. We landed in a sparse field, but in the distance, streams of crystal clear water cut through lush vegetation. The hope we all shared began to solidify into something real and tangible.

This could be the place. This could be the place!

We took a photograph in front of the landing marker. It was supposed to be just the Captain and the Commander, but Moisés threw his arm around me and pulled me in close. I saw the Commander's face tighten but I didn't care. I felt like a small child posing for a picture with his father. I stood up tall, basked in his glow.

Then, everybody died.

There were pale green things, plants, we assumed. One of the biologists tried to take a sample, and the earth shook and rose, crumbling as it grew. Great frightening beasts rose up, with all the worst parts of a leech and a crocodile, but the size of an elephant. There was a moment of stillness, and where the biologist had stood was just a cloud of blood.

Moisés and I both ran. God forgive me though, I ran toward the ship, and he ran towards his crew. Koski and I got back to the ship and he sealed the doors. The creatures were caked in blood, and they started lumbering toward the ship. The Captain had managed to pick up a wounded scientist and was running towards the ship ahead of them.

They were so close but Cmdr. Koski wouldn't let them in. They were screaming through mouths filled with blood, and he wouldn't let them in.

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (05//08)

[clear-signals]

04₀₂₈

We're getting close to the first planet. The Commander had me look over the shuttles to make sure our expedition lands safely. Fortunately, the engines were really singing today, so I had time to take Nyyti for a walk. We were both exhausted when we got home, and I fell right to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night and found her looking out at the planet, still a pale, green dot glimmering in a field of stars. Her tail was up, and her body was tense. I can't remember ever seeing her like that, and it took a long time to calm her down.

I stayed up for hours after, looking out at the planet, and thinking about that poor woman and everything she went through.

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (04//08)

[clear-signals]

03₀₂₇

Sometimes, it feels like the only interesting things that happen in this ship are deep inside, in the engine room. Today is the first day that isn't true, and I hope the last.

I was with Moisés, trying to squeeze a little more functionality out of the two replicators we have on board. An alert came through from Medical and he looked concerned. Actually no, he looked worried. He ran for the lift and motioned for me to follow.

A young woman who works in Biology has been pregnant. I'd seen her a handful of times and always assumed she had found love out here in space. On the way down, Moisés explained. He had spoken with her at length, and she insisted that the pregnancy was the result of a brief romance that didn't last. She declined to identify the father. Moisés believed that she had been assaulted, but she wouldn't budge on her story.

I felt sick. We left an Earth in shambles, beyond saving. The crew aboard the Moth were supposed to find a new home, a place we could start over and get it right. And yet, somewhere onboard was a man (men?) who would deny a woman her humanity, and hurt her in the most vile way. It made me want to sabotage our entire mission. I could strip the engine and we would drift off course, the naive dream of a fresh start suffocating in the vacuum.

When we reached Medical, she was already gone, but her boy was perfectly healthy, except for one thing. He was beautiful, a splotchy red star throwing bright light into the darkest corners of my mind. Maybe his blindness would prove to be a blessing. At the very least, he would never have to look his father in his eyes.

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (03//08)

[clear-signals]

02₀₂₆

The Moth hasn't been as efficient as she ought to be the last week or two. I keep recalibrating the engines, and they fall out of sync after a few hours. Not a lot, just enough to justify my tinkering with it. The resonant hum when the engines are all working together perfectly is intoxicating.

Speaking of which, after three months aboard the ship, I finally met the Captain. And we kind of got... drunk? Ha! I was eating in the commissary, and he approached me with his plate of food and asked to join me. One of the Commanders keeps checking on me in the engine deck to voice the Captain's dissatisfaction with my work, and I thought for sure he was going to have it out with me right there over dinner.

Instead, he asked me a thousand inane questions. "What do you miss about Earth?" "Do you think that woman over there is going to finish her food?" "How tall are you?" "Do you enjoy flight?" I kept preparing myself to ask him a question and he never left enough room for me to do it.

He kept ordering drinks for us, and we kept drinking them. He kept asking questions, and I kept answering them. When he found out I had a dog, he wanted to meet her, so we walked to my quarters. Nyyti loved him, as she loves everyone. He invited both of us to his room and showed me his collections. I couldn't possibly describe all of them, but the Captain is a collector of fascinating objects and artifacts. He was especially proud of a remote-controlled plane he had suspended from wire.

It was beautiful, hovering in the air and swaying only slightly. In my drunkenness, it made me think of our own ship. Swaying back and forth with the hum of the engines, appearing to sit still in the blackness of space, even as it moved near the speed of light.

​ Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (02//08)

[clear-signals]

01₀₂₅

Not going back now, I guess. I'm not sure why I would want to. My father is a cold man, so much that he makes the dark void of space feel warm, inviting even. He'll hardly notice I'm gone except that he'll have one less thing to be disappointed with. My mothers been gone a long time. She is with me as much here as she was there, and maybe more.

Other than them, what did I have? My work and sweet little Nyyti, and they're both here with me. Thank goodness, because I'm not sure I would make it without either of them. I haven't met anyone else on the ship yet, but I know they're taking a chance on me. There were more experienced mechanics that wanted my spot here, and I'm just smart enough to know many of them deserved it more than me.

Dad asked me why I was "retreating into space" instead of "making the best of things" on Earth. His words. He hates it when I talk about Mom, so for once I obliged him. My parting gift was to let him forget the poetry she brought to our lives. What I thought to myself, I thought in her voice:

"then we'd go up higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds: go sailing away and away..."

What I said though, was "I think I can keep her in the air, Dad." And I do.

Hidden Transmitter MM-02/Ukko: Transmitting M+F (01//08)

[clear-signals]

₀₂₄

I wouldn't have known if everything worked unless Koski sent a broad-wave to try and put the fear into the colony. I'm grateful that he is at least reliable. Joshua injected a message into Koski's wave, too. I see how he's survived here on his own for so long: he's brilliant.

I've debated whether or not I wanted to keep this for myself, the final glorious image my eyes took in before I did away with them. Joshua found a way to intercept the last batch of video as they transmitted back to Koski, and he thinks it will bolster you to see it.

I will always remember reaching the top of that ridge. I could hear the hum of it as I climbed, a sound I have no memory of to draw on. It was a new sound, but so familiar. It made me feel strong and hopeful. Like there were reasons yet to keep climbing.

When I saw it, I couldn't move. I didn't take my eyes off of her for what felt like hours. I just stood, still, breathing, and waiting for the sharp snap back to wakefulness. It never came. She hovered above the ground, humming, as beautiful as anything I'd ever seen.

We'll be leaving soon. Entering stasis for the first leg of a long journey. I've hidden a transmitter on Ukko and left it Joshua's journals to transmit. You still have time to get here, and come with us. The transmitter is in a high place, with a clear signal.

Soon, we will be too.

[clear-signals]

WARNING//CMDR. KOSKI

[clear-signals]

₀₂₃

What comes next will require that Koski be in the dark, and I will gladly join him there to be sure things go as planned.

I knew when the bots came into my room, and didn’t punish me for all the contraband in my room. I was even more certain the next morning when I was taken into custody and brought to the Commander. It wasn’t a search at all. He wanted to be sure that I really had the items that his video feed said I did.

His mistake was assuming that I could be bought. He assumed I shared his weakness, his desire for safety. His fear of mystery. But, what is the point of sight if I hate what I see when I look at myself?

And so, here we are.

You’ll have to trust me when I tell you that I have cut both of the eyes from my head.

What you see above is only my right eye, in several stages of dissection. I pulled it out, and cut it open to find the sensor inside. I left the other eye in only long enough to finish the illustrations, but I'm sure it has a similar sensor. It shares the same interlocking circles I've seen on so much of the tech I've found.

Presumably, they’ve been reporting back to Koski at some delay. If the feed was live, he would have known I was cutting them out and sent a patrol to stop me. So, the drawings were probably worthwhile, even if they only delayed him from gathering the information he wanted.

I have so much to say, but you’re just going to have to piece it together yourself.

One last thing though: I met the man who wrote the journal, and the other book, too. His name is Joshua. He showed me something remarkable today, and the sight of it will greet me every night as I give myself to sleep.

I hope you will see it, too. And if we get where we’re going, I hope we will find you waiting.

-Simeon

[clear-signals]

₀₂₂

While I was cloaked, I saw ragged scars scattered over Koski’s abdomen. I’ve spoken of constellations before, and I had been following the wrong star. No murder. No cover-up. An act of violent insubordination committed against him and never punished. He was too embarrassed, didn't want to appear weak.

It was his shirt I burned, his patch I have sewn into my own. He’s wearing the shirt in the photograph from MM-01. I doubt I will ever know what betrayal led to him taking command of the Moth Mullein, but I know he’s a liar.

I know because I also heard something while I was cloaked.

I made my way to the transmitters, the ones that Koski said were draining most of our power. He told the truth about that, and I even believe what he said about them running day and night. The lie he told is about the song they’re singing into the black.

They’re sending a warning call. Telling everyone who can hear, in every passing vessel, to stay far away. No one is ever going to stop here. No one is ever coming for us.

I’ve contemplated just telling everyone who will hear me, but they would never listen. There is a lot about me you don’t know, and its enough just to say that not everyone in the colony thinks of me as… trustworthy.

So, they’ll have to find out for themselves. Just like I did. I’ll make sure they’re looking up at the right sky, and I’ll make it impossible for them to miss the shapes in the stars.

My name is Simeon. This is the first time you’ve seen me, and the last time I will see myself.

I hope we will meet someday, on a more perfect world.

[clear-signals]

₀₂₁

I am on a long walk from darkness to darkness.

What I knew when I first found my way to the Library was that I was all alone in a colony of people who were all alone. I knew that there was nothing I could do to change our lot, that we would scrape out an existence here on this toxic rock, quarantined by hundreds of light-years of quiet and void. I knew, really knew, that I was helpless. I knew that my eyes were a gift, and I was ashamed that I hated every single thing I saw with them. I knew that the one thing that would grow here was my solitude, that it would keep me from reaching until I was as empty as the space that swallows all our signals. Which brings me to the cloak.

If you’ve got origins on Earth, I’m sure you know the story. A fabric cuff, ceramic casing, and a gem that collects and refracts light, meant to be worn on the wrist. It makes a person practically invisible under the right conditions, and was outlawed many years before we left our home planet.

I put it on and walked right into Commander Koski’s quarters. I watched him eat his evening meal by himself, inspect some building plans, and lie down to bed. I could have killed him, if I’d wanted to. That isn’t what I’m walking toward.

I’m as invisible to them now as they used to be to me. I’m as alone as ever, but I don’t feel helpless at all. My whole life, I’ve been shaped by solitude. But I get to pick my own shape now, and I’m going to be glorious.

Only a few more steps until darkness, so I’m going to make the best of the light while it lasts.

[clear-signals]

₀₂₀

My time is running out, and I hope someday I will have the chance to explain myself better. For now, what you need to know is this: I continued looking through the wild tome. It led me to a cache of several more hidden items. Those items have led me to a fuller understanding of my place in all of this.

The first I’ll share with you is the following plaque, which I’ve been led to believe came to this planet from Earth, affixed to the hull of the Moth Mullein.

The engraving is worn down, but I’ve done my best to transcribe it below:

The Moth Mullein is a flowering plant which Dr. William James Beal used in the longest known ongoing scientific experiment. In 1879, 21 different plant species were placed in seperate bottles, filled with sand and buried upside down. In the year 2000, the seeds from the Moth Mullein were dug up and planted in favorable conditions, producing a 50% germination rate. The process was repeated in 2100 with nearly identical results. The experiment continues to this day, exceeding the terrestrial boundaries of Earth. It is this propensity to survive, and to flourish which this vessel was named for, as the hope of the human race rests on the ship and its crew’s ability to to carry on, defiant in the face of all adversity.

I look around at the colony, at all the junk structures built using the bones of the Moth Mullein, and I just want to weep. The symbol of our hope, of flight and freedom and of urging ever onward into the deepest darkness, and instead it holds us still. It stifles us. We were supposed to keep her together, so she could carry us to a safer place.

Instead, our ship was torn apart, scattered like seeds on barren soil.

[clear-signals]

₀₁₉

I began to skip around the book, and the narrative was so fractured it didn’t make it any less readable.

I threw the book open this morning and it opened to a page towards the back. I read the passage and examined the piece of cloth pressed between pages, and I have no doubt now that the book, however complex, was put together quite purposefully.

The passage is below, in its entirety:

​HE’S GOING TO DISMANTLE THE SHIP. HE’S GOING TO KEEP US HERE. WE’RE GOING TO LIVE, SURE, BUT WE HAD A PURPOSE. WHAT WILL WE HAVE NOW? A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP AND NO REASON TO WAKE. A LONG LIFE BURDENED WITH THE MEMORY OF A DREAM.

My whole life, I’ve been told our mission was to explore two planets, colonize the safer of the two, and await further orders. TWO. Two planets. So what am I looking at here?

This patch has to be the one torn from the bloody shirt I found. I don’t have the shirt to compare, but it has to be. The symbol- the tree or whatever it is- is just like the one carved into the key. I recognize the two moons that orbit Ukko, but never in my life have I heard even a whisper about a ringed planet.

I want to lie back down, fall asleep, make my way back to some dream, and stay there. But, I’m up.

And I’ve got work to do.