Here is now.

This is the place where I will shout my heart's desires, a place where nobody will judge me. I am a bookworm, day dreamer, fairy tale believer, movie buff, music lover, and I guess, a writer wannabe. I love sweets and I fear butterflies and lizards. So yeah, I know I know. I'm an awkward, crazy and weird person :)

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What my mother told me made me so sad:

"I prayed to God that he'd give you a man. I just forgot to include that he must be a Catholic."

😔

I am aware there are people like them but it just made me so sad that it came from my mother.

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Realization

I guess in the long run, you'll distinguish which friends actually want to help you and which friends who just want to know everything.

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In my next life....

I'm gonna study medicine and be a surgeon.

I'm gonna study ballet and do a ballet recital.

I'm gonna save more and be stinkin rich.

I'm gonna be a better daughter, granddaughter.

I'm gonna be a better friend.

I'm gonna go out more.

I'm gonna be happy.

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I feel so alone. Is anybody out there?

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JCB forever 😍😍😍

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Thoughts on a Sunday afternoon.

Ah.. Time... Time has a way of changing things. Change is inevitable. Ever had that moment when you thought, "We'll stay like this forever." The thing is.. you won't. Eventually, everything will change.

People drift apart. I don't know if it's just me. I know it takes a lot of effort but for a relationship to work, it always takes two. But everyone is different. We all have to separate paths eventually. And it's a bit sad.

I have had several bestfriends. But what does make one a bestfriend, really? Is it based on the number of similarities you both have? Is it based on the times you were both there for each other? There are good friends. There are bestfriends. What's the difference between the two anyway? Good friends are rare. Bestfriends are rare too. What makes a person a good friend? What makes a person a bestfriend? It's people who label these things. It's society who labels things. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I guess it's up to you. It always is.

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Anyone else ever feel alone even if surrounded by a sea of people? 🙁 Is it just a matter of perspective?

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Life Lessons

1. Always be kind to everyone. You’ll never know someone’s having a really bad day. 2. Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. 3. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a luxury. Not everyone has it.

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But.... I guess that's why they invented the word move on.

Regret is a funny thing. You only feel it when it’s all over, when there’s nothing you can’t do about it. You feel helpless because you can’t go back through time to undo what you did or unmake the decision.

I recently have a few regrets. Yes, you heard it correctly. Not just one.

First. I didn’t pursue my childhood dream. I blame the last three Korean series I watched. It might be a true regret or just an effect of the hype. But is it too late? I guess not but it’ll be pretty expensive which I currently, can’t afford to happen in my life right now. I guess that’s that.

Second. I was too scared to try. You could say i chickened out. I was so worried it wouldn’t work that I didn’t even try.

Third. I didn’t get to spend as much time with my grandma. I mean I did since i spent my childhood summers with her but during her last few years, I got busy with work and with growing up. I should have found time for her. I miss her so much.

While I can’t forget these regrets, I need to make them life lessons.

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An open letter

Sooo.. yesterday, I bumped into my classmate from college. We said hellos and as usual, she would tease me about my dad picking me up all the time. In all honesty, it bothered me especially that my dad heard it. I don't mind if she says it to just me. After a few minutes, I told my dad not to mind what she said because I don't really mind her all the time. I get her point with independence and all that. But if my dad wants to pick me up until I become 40, I will let him. Who am I to deny my dad what he wants. And I don't wanna be one of those people who regret about not spending time their dads while they still could. Who would i blame then? Noone but myself. To all the bullies out there picking on someone else's business, shame on you. To all the girls whose dad still picks them up even if they are working, more power girl. Never be ashamed. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

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To love or to be loved

We often don’t realize this but it is harder to love than to be loved. To be loved.. eh it depends on who you are trying to please really but it gets tiring after a while. You impress them so they’ll love you more. You put on a face. You have this mask that you can’t remove because if you do, you don’t know what they will do. Eventually, it gets boring and the real you is revealed. What happens if the person they loved is no longer found? What then? Isn’t that the whole purpose of love To love.. it requires sacrifice and a lot of those painful emotions. Sometimes it ends up in your favor. Sometimes it doesn’t. To love doesn’t guarantee that the person will reciprocate the same emotions you are investing. You love them not knowing whether they love you back. You give them everything only to let them break your heart. I guess that’s the beauty of it. Loving is an adventure.

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Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dreams come true,or in a promise of hope renewed. It’s ok to let yourself be happy, because you never know how great that happiness might be. Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life, that you expect it to always be there, because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t. But then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong only because it’s so unfamiliar, and in that moment you realize you’re happy.

Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill season 4

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One Direction - Perfect (Official Video)

I might never be your knight in shining armor I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight When I first saw you From across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh yeah Girl, I hope you’re sure What you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do Baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can’t even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now I might never be the hand you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don’t mean that we can’t live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time When I first saw you From across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh yeah Girl, I hope you’re sure What you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do Baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can’t even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now And if you like cameras flashing every time we go out oh yeah And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about Baby, I'm perfect Baby, we're perfect If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do Baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like going places we can’t even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

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There was something too immediate about an e-mail, the idea that she might get it in mere moments, that just one click of the mouse would make it appear on her screen in an instant, like magic. He realized how much he preferred the safety of a letter, the physicality of it, the distance it had to cross on its way from here to there, which felt honest and somehow more real.

The Geography of You and Me by Jennifer E. Smith

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But somehow, it worked. If not for their differences, they probably wouldn't have noticed each other in the first place. That there were only more differences waiting beneath the surface made it all the more interesting.

The Geography of You and Me by Jennifer E. Smith

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OneRepublic - Secrets

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Never Seen Anything Quite Like You Tonight

I think I want you more than want And know I need you more than need I wanna hold you more than hold When you stood in front of me I think you know me more than know And you see me more than see I could die now more than die Every time you look at me Well I've seen you in jeans with no make-up on And I've stood there in awe as your date for the prom I'm blessed as a man to have seen you in white But I've never seen anything quite like you tonight No, I've never seen anything quite like you When it's right it's more than right Cause you feel it more than feel I could take this moment now Right into the grave with me Oh well I've seen you in jeans with no make-up on And I've stood there in awe as your date for the prom I'm blessed as a man to have seen you in white But I've never seen anything quite like you tonight No, I've never seen anything quite like you tonight No, I've never seen anything quite like you tonight In your eyes oh in your eyes In our hearts yeah in our hearts Sometimes words just ain't enough For this love that's more than love Well I've seen you in jeans with no make-up on And I've stood there in awe as your date for the prom I'm blessed as a man to have seen you in white But I've never seen anything quite like you tonight No, I've never seen anything quite like you tonight No, I've never seen anything quite like you tonight