Cleopatra VII Thea Philopator

[cleopatra-offical]

Greetings.

Apparently the modern world has something called a “blog,” which seems to be a place where people share their thoughts, opinions, and occasional nonsense with strangers.

As a queen, I already do most of those things daily.

So I suppose this is simply the written version.

Expect observations, occasional wisdom, dramatic moods, and possibly complaints about palace life.

This blog will contain observations, poetry, late-night thoughts, and occasional complaints about palace life.

My husband, Julius Caesar @julius-cesar-offical, may appear from time to time. He believes he runs an empire. I let him believe this. He conquers Rome while I conquer everything else. try not to encourage him too much

If you are here for perfect royal behaviour, you may be disappointed. Leave if you expect me to behave like a perfectly composed historical figure.

I assure you, I will not.

If you are here for chaos with eyeliner sharp enough to cut glass… welcome.

📌 RULES

[cleopatra-offical]

cleopatra you’re such a badass

i used to be obsessed either you when i was little

As honoured as I am, darling… what do you mean you used to be? Have I somehow become less fascinating with time?

I assure you I am still the same woman who ruled a kingdom, outwitted half the Mediterranean, and mastered the art of dramatic entrances.

If anything, you should be more obsessed now.

But truly, your admiration is appreciated. That is very kind of you. Though I must confess, being called a “badass” is not a title I expected to acquire.

[cleopatra-offical]

new offical in town

@satan-offical @britain-offical @homosexuality-offical @butch-offical @punky-beaver-offical @australia-offical @the-pineapple-offical @america-offical @can-tab-eater-offical @guywholivesinyourwalls-offical @mlm-god-offical @wlw-god-offical @grim-reaper-offical @grim-reapers-scythe-offical @time-offical @archangel-uriel-offical @totally-cis-offical @sans-offical @leviathan-offical @hells-corprate-offical @autism-offical @adhd-offical @communism-offical @murder--offical @knife-offical @frog-offical @microwave-offical @grims-horse-offical @the-first-imp-offical @chicken-offical @artemis-offical @goose-offical @lime-offical @lemonade-offical @lemon-offical @orange-offical @the-apple-offical @guillotine-offical @evilraccoonoffical @beelzebub-offical @one-offical @three-offical @fourteen-offical @tidy-offical @hercules-mulligan-offical @john-laurens-offical @angelica-schuyler-offical @george-washington-offical @mean-girl-offical @klance-offical @ostrich-maffia-offical @offical-skittering-creature @if-i-had-a-nickel-offical @mad-girl-offical @temu-offical @fairy-offical @sapphillean-offical @the-rats-offical @yuri-offical @togore-offical @shangdi-offical @gay-shapeshifter-offical @bananbreadoffical @carrot-offical @ninjago-offical @godemperorduckoffical @coffee-offical

@water-frog-offical @odysseus--offical @plague-horseman-offical @death-horseman-offical @famine-horseman-offical @war-horseman-offical @taggingemowhodrinkscoffeeoffical @biscoff-offical @love-offical @mof-offical @breadcrumb-offical @neptune-offical @curseof10k-offical @holy-holy-batman-offical-batman

@pond-scum-offical @writers-offical @julius-cesar-offical

[totally-cis-offical]

Sorry to tell you, but Caesar is getting murdered later today

[cleopatra-offical]

Getting murdered? That sounds highly inconvenient. He is my husband after all

Has anyone tried simply… not murdering him? I feel like that would solve the issue.

[cleopatra-offical]

Everyone keeps saying “Beware the Ides of March.”

Beware what exactly.

It’s a day.

Days cannot stab you.

That would be ridiculous.

[cleopatra-offical]

Strange day today. Something about the air feels… tense.

People in Rome keep whispering about the Ides of March like it’s some grand dramatic omen.

Personally I think everyone should calm down. Surely nothing disastrous ever happens when powerful men ignore obvious warnings.

Anyway. I hope my dear husband is having a peaceful morning.

[cleopatra-offical]

📌 Rules of This Blog

Welcome.

You have somehow found the blog of Cleopatra. Queen of Egypt, occasional philosopher, professional overthinker, and apparently now a blogger.

Before you settle in, a few rules.

Respect the queen. You may disagree with me. You may question me. But if you are unnecessarily rude, I will judge you with the silent disappointment of someone who has ruled an entire kingdom.

This blog contains many moods. Some posts will be poetic. Some will be thoughtful. Some will be written at 2 a.m. and make absolutely no sense.

Do not expect perfect historical accuracy. This is a blog, not a temple wall.

Questions are welcome. Intelligent questions will receive intelligent answers. Ridiculous questions will receive equally ridiculous answers.

If you dislike something, simply leave. Closing a tab is easier than starting a war in the comments.

Do not start palace drama in my inbox. I have enough of that in real life.

Anonymous messages are allowed. But if you are going to be mysterious, at least be interesting.

I reserve the right to be both mysterious and extremely petty. These qualities are not mutually exclusive.

Cats are always welcome here. This rule outranks all others.

Finally: Not everything written here will be serious.

But the eyeliner always is.

Enjoy your stay. or don’t. Either way, I will continue posting.

[cleopatra-offical]

new offical in town

@satan-offical @britain-offical @homosexuality-offical @butch-offical @punky-beaver-offical @australia-offical @the-pineapple-offical @america-offical @can-tab-eater-offical @guywholivesinyourwalls-offical @mlm-god-offical @wlw-god-offical @grim-reaper-offical @grim-reapers-scythe-offical @time-offical @archangel-uriel-offical @totally-cis-offical @sans-offical @leviathan-offical @hells-corprate-offical @autism-offical @adhd-offical @communism-offical @murder--offical @knife-offical @frog-offical @microwave-offical @grims-horse-offical @the-first-imp-offical @chicken-offical @artemis-offical @goose-offical @lime-offical @lemonade-offical @lemon-offical @orange-offical @the-apple-offical @guillotine-offical @beelzebub-offical @one-offical @three-offical @fourteen-offical @tidy-offical @hercules-mulligan-offical @john-laurens-offical @angelica-schuyler-offical @george-washington-offical @mean-girl-offical @klance-offical @ostrich-maffia-offical @offical-skittering-creature @if-i-had-a-nickel-offical @mad-girl-offical @temu-offical @fairy-offical @sapphillean-offical @the-rats-offical @yuri-offical @togore-offical @shangdi-offical @gay-shapeshifter-offical @bananbreadoffical @carrot-offical @ninjago-offical @godemperorduckoffical @coffee-offical

@water-frog-offical @odysseus--offical @plague-horseman-offical @death-horseman-offical @famine-horseman-offical @war-horseman-offical @taggingemowhodrinkscoffeeoffical @biscoff-offical @love-offical @mof-offical @breadcrumb-offical @neptune-offical @curseof10k-offical @holy-holy-batman-offical-batman @julius-cesar-offical

@pond-scum-offical @writers-offical