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you’re probably looking for my art account @bloodyslides <3

[clericbreast]

I hate how sexualized the term “daddy issues” became.

like, it’s to the point people put in their dating profiles “looking for someone with daddy issues”.

I want to touch grass here for a moment, because the internet just pushes your brain to ignore things that would be scandalous irl - this in particular.

fetishizing childhood trauma, abuse, a lack of/strained/abusive relationship is wrong on some many levels.

it creates this stigma around it, which is throughly explored and abused in the adult content industry and other “offensive” media.

notice that it’s also specifically “daddy issues” and specifically pointed at women - as if their relationship with their father defines their personality, their sexual preferences and who they really are as a person.

and yes, I am well aware that these people aren’t usually truly looking to “find out who you truly are”, it mostly a sexual thing, of course.

also yes, i’ve studied psychology and I know about the connection between parental relationships and sexuality. Freud would be happy.

however, I very often see this being used as an opportunity to harm people. to use them, to take advantage of their deepest darkest traumas - and that’s messed up.

you’re basically saying “hey, I want someone whose father didn’t show them the appropriate amount of validation/affection/respect/anything really so I can take advantage of their hurt psyche.”

i’m not saying that there’s anything explicitly wrong with the connection. just pointing out a big, red flag here - and some borderline predatory behavior that I feel like isn’t discussed enough as a true form of inequality.

because yes - it is different to be a person with a dysfunctional family (whether it’s abuse, divorced parents or any sort of family related trauma).

so many holidays about family importance, mother’s day, father’s day - where everyone just shoves in your face the big great value of it all and how you should respect and love your family no matter what.

victims shouldn’t respect their offenders, shouldn’t be gaslighted in any way.

it’s a different, difficult path that deserves understanding and compassion.

so please - next time you’re on a dating website - think about yourself. you deserve better.