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Cosmic Funnies
YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
Kiana Khansmith
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Not today Justin
macklin celebrini has autism
NASA
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#extradirty
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$LAYYYTER
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@clevermech-blog
//As an update, I am getting around to replying to threads. I had just, so much work leading up to the holiday and then spent the last three days playing new videogames (overwatch. I got myself overwatch.) instead of doing like, roleplay things. ;>>
Replies should be going out over the weekend, though, so look for those!//
@scientificmicroscope
TO: Quark, Scientist FROM: Perceptor, Chief Science Officer
If you find yourself with open time in the near future, I would like a tour of your workspace to ensure it meets standards for operation. Please inform me of any openings at your earliest convenience.
Perceptor Chief Science Officer of the Lost Light
@clevermech - closed starter!
«I do hope I’ve gotten this right - Perceptor, yes? This is Tarantulas, an acquaintance of your captain’s. I’ve a question for you - something I hope I can pick your brain module about, if you’d be so kind as to lend me your audial and a moment of your time.»
«”Tarantulas”.» This mech just used thirty-two words to ask if he could ask a question. That’s... something Perceptor would have done not that long ago. «I’m not involved in anything time-sensitive at the moment. Go ahead.»
The Life Phenetic
chronosmith:
Whirl drew himself up with great and slightly-unsteady dignity. “What I mean is, sometimes life pushes you a certain way. An’ you resist it, of course, because maybe, maybe that’s not what you want. But it keeps pushin’. And pushin’.” He tapped his claw on the tabletop for emphasis. “And pushin’. So maybe you just turn in that direction, right? See how far you can get.”
His new drink arrived, and Whirl snatched up the Special. For the moment he seemed content to gesticulate with the cup than to drink from it just yet. “You just roll with it. So what if you’re not who you were? You’ll just be someone else.” Whirl paused, blinking slowly. This was a difficult concept for him to articulate at present, and he wasn’t sure he was getting his point across. “So, okay, you. You’re not just a scientist anymore, right? Well, be a whole lot of… not just. Be a whole lot of th’other thing. Do you see where I’m comin’ from, at least?” he asked, finally having the presence of mind to stop his own rambling.
Perceptor spends a few moments blinking up at Whirl. It’s slow, but his small smile breaks into a lopsided grin. “Yes, I see where you’re coming from.” He tips his chin up, raising his flute of engex toward Whirl and tipping it just-so. “Eloquent and uplifting as always.” Outright lies. Until Whirl started babbling he had next to no idea what the mech was trying to communicate.
Not the kind of pep talk Kup would have given, back when Perceptor was still working through the sheer horror and refusing to process any of his emotions, but still good. Which leads to another strain of thought-
“Sooo...” He leans over to snag one of Whirl’s empty cups, balancing it on edge while he formulates the question. “What had you so contemplative?”
Multiculturalism
hamadaxfighter:
Hiro stared up at Perceptor, eyes wide as he took in his expression. Well, he seemed less angry when he walked in. He gave a crooked smile, something casual and yet friendly. “Yeah. Same,” he said, waving a hand. He didn’t mind Perceptor leaning down to get closer- he was used to being talked to like this.
“I’ve heard about you, but never met you.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Personally, I thought you were just a rumor until you commed me. Heh. I guess I pretty much stay in here or cooped up. I’m not really too busy on anything ship related these days. Sometimes I hang out with Ten or Riptide, but that’s about it.”
“Just as I have heard about you, yet never met you.” Perceptor hmms, balancing a datapad in his lap for easy notes. It hasn’t been to long since he was last around a human, but that had been in much closer quarters than the Lost Light. Although Verity tended to bring herself to his level, not the other way around. “Could you give me a tour of your workspace?”
The Life Phenetic
chronosmith:
“Frag the multiverse,” was Whirl’s immediate response. He had more reason than most to be irritable with it, seeing as how it had brought him mostly misfortune. He was fairly certain his recent ailment had come from it, as well. “So what if you’re the only Perceptor that’s like you? What makes you the anomaly? Maybe th’rest of all of them are amol. Anolg.” Whirl paused, slowly closed his eye, and said, slowly, “Anomalous.”
Maybe it was time to ease up on the booze. Unless… he drank more booze. That was the better solution. Whirl raised a claw and clicked it towards the serving-drone, who seemed to recognize the signal, and bustled off to grab another Special.
“When you’ve been through hard things–the shit, when you’ve been through the shit, you can’t go back. You’re not that person anymore.” He stared into middle space as he spoke, his optic contracting to a small, angry point. “Turn into the skid, I say. That’s what I say.”
A small smile works its way onto Perceptor’s face at the reassurance. He tips his flute of engex up, a little toast of agreement. Albeit he’d love to meet another version of himself, for science’s sake if nothing else.
“The skid?” Perceptor hums, setting his drink down on the table and plopping his chin back into a palm. “You don’t say? Care to elaborate on what, exactly, that is?” The drink he came to the table with was most certainly not his first, given the slow, iaconic high-caste drawl the sniper has slipped into his inflection. “I’m CSO, Whirl, not a mind reader.”
Multiculturalism
hamadaxfighter:
Hiro was bent over a curved metal sheet, welding the bolts into place. He was a quick worker, but he wasn’t too quick- that left room for mistakes. He pulled away and looked over the piece, sliding his arm through. It fit just perfect, he just needed to make the other piece and attach-
He turned his head and leaned up to see the mech. He’d never exactly met Perceptor. He waved a gloved hand, pushing his goggles up. “Hey! Over here!” He shifted to yank the tarp over his projects and flopped to sit on his work bench.
Perceptor’s highly professional no-fun-allowed expression dissipated once he’d gotten a response. The scientist made his way over, picking his way around the workshop. He’s reasonably certain Hoist doesn’t work with anything volatile, but one can never be too careful.
“Good to finally meet you.” There’s a relieved smile, and he casts about for a low stool, pulling one over as soon as he’s found it. That should put him closer to Hiro’s level for ease of conversation. If he has anything else to say, it’s put aside to get greetings and formalities out of the way.
11
11. How well do you take care of yourself?
I’m certainly not falling apart at the seams if that is the direction of this question. Old habits die hard and I can freely admit I quite enjoy looking my best.
((2, 3, 7!))
2. What turns you on?
Unique structural modifications and application techniques. I prefer those that would have still been considered unique before the war. It’s far too easy now for a rather common and boring frame to be considered ‘unique’.
3. What turns you off?
Empty or gratuitous praise. Something to the extent that kissing ass will not get you any closer to it.
7. Ever done drugs, if so, what’s your drug history?
Decline to answer.
Get personal! Ask my Muse incredibly personal questions!
How well do you take care of your teeth?
What turns you on?
What turns you off?
What’s your sexuality?
What’s in your pants?
Ever had surgery, if so, why?
Ever done drugs, if so, what’s your drug history?
What’s one thing you regret doing to someone else?
Have any fetishes?
How’s the parental relationship?
How well do you take care of yourself?
What’s a past pet you had, if any?
What’s a guilty pleasure?
Uncommon opinion?
Ever assaulted someone, and if so, why?
Last person you said I Love You too?
Last person you hugged?
What’s a grudge you’re holding?
Have you ever kissed someone?
Have you ever French kissed someone?
First lover?
Are you in love/in a relationship right now?
Who’s one friend you wouldn’t mind sleeping with?
Are you a virgin?
Who did you lose your virginity too?
The Life Phenetic
chronosmith:
Whirl nodded slowly. “And the thing is–the really infuriating this is, some people are doing it. Some people’r making it work. Like nothing ever happened. So at that point, y’gotta ask: is the problem with me? And it probably is.”
He went silent long enough to guzzle down the rest of his drink in one long go. One very, very long go. By the time Whirl finished, Perceptor’s second order would have probably arrived. The chopper cycled a deep sigh and set his glass down. Whirl tilted his head contemplatively. “I never had that problem, of course. No unrealistic expectations here.”
Whirl began to raise his glass, realized it was still empty, and blinked owlishly at it. More booze was required. “So, what’s th’problem then? Don’t like science no more? Lemme help ya out.” He waved a huge claw abstractedly. “Give you some of my good ol’ Life Lessons. Patent pending.”
Halfway through Whirl’s long silence, Perceptor’s second drink arrived and took a few moments of his attention to swap the filled flute for the empty one. “Some people never deviated from their function.” Which is a cheap cop-out. Plenty of the mecha that had become warriors weren’t suited for the job, at first.
He just... shrugs. Noncommittal and a bit forlorn. “I haven’t had expectations since--” A flick of his fingers to splay out, lifting off his cheek in a little starburst. “-- Turmoil.” Nearly dying really messes up one’s life plans.
Perceptor’s nose scrunches up again, expression turning toward a pout. “I like science plenty. It’s the assumption that science is all I like that inspires the desire to punch.” Whirl’s joke does get a smile- at least Perceptor is fairly sure it’s a joke. Hard to tell sometimes. “I just- I’m not entirely sure my alternates share this, that I am not alone as myself, a single anomalous string in the infinite multiverse.” He shrugged. “You know?”
The Life Phenetic
chronosmith:
Whirl had known Perceptor–or, at least, the one in his home dimension–longer than he’d known most of the rest of the crew, and the familiarity of the lip-biting he saw struck him. This might not be his Lost Light, or his Perceptor, but seeing as how he didn’t think he’d be getting home anytime soon, they might as well be.
“Mm-hmm.” Whirl understood the gesture, or seemed to think he did. “My recommendation for that is more booze. More and better booze. It truly works wonders.” Having delivered his requisite knee-jerk flippant response, Whirl sank into a thoughtful pause. During his thoughtful pause, he took a thoughtful pull from his cup, tipping his head back.
“This place sure ain’t the Xantium,” he finally said. “Funny, I had always sort of thought this was endgame for you. War’s over, you get to go back to doing what you want. I thought that’s what most everyone had planned. Not what you thought it’d be?” Whirl cocked his head. His tone wasn’t mocking: under the slight buzz of static that signaled the onset of inebriation, he sounded genuinely curious.
Perceptor contemplated these wise words for a few moments before turning to flag down a serving drone. More booze, possibly stronger, too. “There’s much more space.” He agreed, pausing to finish off any remaining engex. Half the time, he wasn’t sure what to do with all the extra space. In his habsuite, his lab.
“I did too.” Perceptor propped his elbows on the table, tipping forward to rest his chin in a palm. “We win, I go back to being ‘Perceptor, the science guy’.” His expression sours. “Presto, it’s like the war never happened. Slotting perfectly back into civilian life.”
The Life Phenetic
chronosmith:
“Impactor’s Special is a laugh and a half, but I can’t taste it. So. Zero points.” Whirl shook his glass for emphasis. The liquid inside sloshed, but at a rate that was several seconds delayed from the movements of the cup itself. The effect was mildly disconcerting. He took an especially long pull, probably because Perceptor’s palpable disgust was nearly as amusing as his drink was noxious.
Whirl cycled a deep, long breath, letting it out in one warm rush of air. “Sorta. Gonna have a new Culture Club meeting before too long. Always good for morale, that.” It seemed that at some point Whirl, in the middle of all of his joking around, had accidentally actually something to raise morale. It was by an infinitesimal amount, but it was still something.
“But yeah. Got a lot on my mind,” he admitted, in a rare and fleeting moment of something approaching honesty. Before it could sink in, he nodded to Perceptor’s drink, setting his drink on the table and carefully wrapping his claws around it. “What about you? What’s got you drowning your sorrows?”
Predictably, Perceptor cringed again at the liquid’s... fascinating viscosity. He perked up a little at the talk of a culture club, mouthing the words and raising an optical ridge. “Sounds like quite a bit of work.” And not at all interesting.
There’s a small nod of understanding, coupled with a long sip of engex. “This isn’t that different from my usual off-shift activities.” Everyone had drinks at Swerve’s at some point during their shift schedule. Failing that, they carted themselves up to Visages.
Perceptor chews on his lip for a moment, sighing. “I’m feeling-” Here he motions with a hand, forming a finger gun and closing his visible optic. The gesticulation ends with a shrug, hand falling back into his lap.
Multiculturalism
hamadaxfighter:
:: Yeah, yeah. What’s a life without rules, am I right? :: He rolled his eyes and stuck a screwdriver between his teeth. He bent the sheet metal in his hands, curving his upper body over it. He spit out the screwdriver and began to hammer the end of it, pushing the tip into the metal. Slowly, he made holes.
:: Not counting the other three times, yeah. But, those weren’t all my fault. ::
«Fun, I would wager.» Safety regulations have their place, but most of them frown on self-experimentation, which is unfortunate.
«And I am sure the perpetrator of these power outages was admonished accordingly.» The line clicks off upon the CSO entering the workshop, opting to use his vocoder rather than a comm frequency. “You will have to direct me, Hiro. I am not as familiar with this particular workspace.”
The Life Phenetic
chronosmith:
“You caught me at a lucky time,” Whirl drawled back, plainly amused. “Hey, I’ve got a lot to contemplate. Lot to keep up with, as the ship’s Morale Officer, y’know?” He took another pause to drink from his glass, savoring it as Perceptor questioned him on its composition. “This is a Special. That’s all it’s called. I think, secretly, it’s a Whirl special, ‘cos I never see anyone else drinkin’ it.”
The chopper raised the glass. “First, you get some straight engex. The closer you can get to weapons-grade, the better. Run it through some condensers, get it nice and congealed. Mix in a little oil and cut it with some visco to get it mostly back to liquid state, and sprinkle in some iron fillings for… I dunno. Cos it looks neat. And bam. A special.”
The ingredients themselves were not too unusual (aside from the congealed quality of the engex) but Perceptor wouldn’t even have to sip the drink to know it would not be a pleasant cocktail. “I can sort of taste it,” Whirl went on, ‘S why I like it. Also, easier to swallow. Sure you don’t wanna try?” He wriggled his glass in what he must have thought was an enticing way.
There’s a smile inching it’s way onto Perceptor’s face. “Of course, of course. Plenty of days to brighten with your charming personality, no?” The smile does not last long. He recoils a bit at the description of Whirl’s Special. That... would explain why it’s registering as a possible hazard to his sensors. Not this century, Whirl. Perceptor still likes having functional chemical receptors.
“Pits no.” It’s coupled with an expression somewhere between horror and disgust, entirely appropriate for the occasion. “I’d prefer Impactor’s Special over that.” Which, really, nobody deserved the aftereffects of the homebrew. It could also have been that Perceptor was introduced to that particular Special before events had significantly lowered his standards.
The microscope taps a finger against his glass, head tilting. “So you’re, what, deciding on the next course of action as Morale Officer?” Back to prodding at Whirl’s contemplative state.
The Life Phenetic
clevermech:
chronosmith:
Whirl lifted his head sluggishly, glancing at Perceptor with his half-lidded optic as he slid into his seat. He didn’t seem irritated by the other mech’s preference, but otherwise his blank, expressionless face gave nothing away as far as what his reaction was going to be. “Well, all right,” he finally said, with a dramatic sigh, “but only until my entourage arrives. Then you’re on your own, pal.” He punctuated his sentence by raising his cup and tossing his head back to work the liquid down.
Whirl hadn’t taken the time to actually go and talk to Perceptor, despite their shared past, and was a little surprised to have been joined by him at all. “You seem flustered,” he observed after a moment, “you should get yourself a stronger drink.” Whirl raised his glass, gesturing to the noxious black cocktail inside with his other claw as smoothly and elegantly as if he were displaying a game show prize.
“Oh good, I was worried you’d have plans.” If Perceptor had managed the right tone, that could have been cutting. He barely hit ‘simmering’ in tone, nowhere near scathing. The surly scientist sinks into his chosen seat a bit more, denta worrying at his lip.
“And you seem contemplative.” He hadn’t just navigated over without assessing the situation in Whirl’s immediate vicinity. Blindly entering scenarios is how people get themselves killed. At the presentation of Whirl’s drink, Perceptor scrunches up his nose. “I’ll pass.” He vastly prefers the brightly coloured fuels. “There’s nothing wrong with imbibing fuel that still has a visually discernible composition.” Speaking of. “What’s in that?”
"I..I hate tto be a bother but.." the femme's legs couldn't hold anymore and she fell on the floor
Perceptor blinked, taking a step back. He muttered something and activated comms to Velocity. “Someone’s collapsed in the hallway.”A beat. “No, it isn’t Tailgate.” Another few moments. “I don’t know, if I did, I’d have told you. I’ll bring him up.”
