Jessica Mayuga makes heartbreakingly beautiful music under the perfectly chosen moniker Depressica. Her music will probably make you cry and leave you with a strange sense of nostalgia in the pit of your stomach. In this interview she talks about moving to Seattle, transitioning between life phases, and turning negative tension into incredible music.
Q: How would you describe your music to someone who has never heard it before?
A: You’d think that I, a person who often has to describe my music to people who have never heard it before, would have an easier time answering this question. I struggle between describing how it sounds and describing how I think it makes people feel. Aurally, my music might not make any sense (or at least it doesn’t to me) because I have such a wide variety of influences, so I don’t really know where I sit! I think for the most part my music sounds like some kind of a familiar angst, but what that means to you, I do not know.
Q: What spurred you to make your newest album Distance Makes the Heart Grow Somber?
A: Distance came naturally, I think. I found myself in a weird time of transition and uncertainty and so I wrote a lot, not necessarily about transition and uncertainty, but about the situations and feelings that come with transition and uncertainty. (A lot of it revolves around how I felt about the people I was interacting with at the time.) Eventually, I realized that I had written several songs and that there was some semblance of a theme between them. Thus, Distance Makes The Heart Grow Somber was born.
Q: How long have you been playing music? Did you study music in college at all?
A: I think I’ve been tinkering with different instruments since I was about 4? I remember writing a short thing on the piano around that age. I didn’t start playing guitar until the 8th grade, but I had a good run on MySpace as A Summer Project during the summer after middle school and a little into my high school years (which is still up and running somehow). I’ve been putting my music out in the world for almost ten years now and I think that is a very sad fact. I studied music for a hot second while I was in college for classical vocal performance. Choir was enjoyable and I stuck with it, but I dropped my music major before I even took a theory class.
Q: What was your process for recording the new album?
A: When I record, I am sprawled on my bedroom floor drinking ginger ale, playing around with borrowed instruments and singing into a USB microphone that sits on boxes instead of a stand. I always do the layers and layers of guitar over metronome before messing around with various digital drum kits on Garageband. Vocals are last and always the worst part of recording. It will take me somewhere between 2 days and 2 weeks to record depending on the song and I am never completely happy in the end.
Q: Who is your dream musical collaborator?
A: Would I be terrible if I said that any collaboration at all would be a dream? I think Mitski and I could make cool music together, but I would also be in awe the whole time and contribute nothing to the process. Acid Ghost would be extremely cool! If I’m allowed to be ambitious here, I would say Lorde, Hozier, or Sia. Their musicianship is something I’ve admired for a long time and I’m sure I would faint if I were graced with that honor. But mostly I want to collaborate with my other musician friends because I really love all the things my friends do.
Q: You’ve recently moved to Seattle, so how has that affected you musically?
A: Moving to Seattle has been somewhat of a roller coaster! It’s smooth sailing now and I’m just now starting to get to know the city, but I find myself having to spend most of my time on grad school activities, which is what I’m here for. What that means is that I haven’t had time to sit down and write new material at all! I’ve been jotting down my itching thoughts in my phone and on random scraps of paper, waiting until I have time to pick up my guitar. The other thing is that I really only write music when I’m feeling less than great and I’m very happy with all the things I’m doing here, so maybe it’s a good thing that I’m not writing :-)
Q: What’s the backstory behind the cover art for your new album?
A: The cover art! For my album! Was actually done by a friend of mine whose name is Cliff Fields (his Instagram is @clifffields). I tweeted something ridiculous like “Album artwork is hard” back in March and he came to my rescue. From there, we discussed a lot of the thematic elements of Distance (back when I only had three tracks conceptualized) and after a little bit of back and forth, he came to me with the final product that I thought was just AMAZING. He said to me once that the inspiration for the dog was “that wild passion to get to someone no matter the distance,” which is what I feel now every time I look at it. I want it on a shirt.
Q: How has it been for you trying to self-promote your music?
A: Self promotion is difficult! I rely almost exclusively on the engagement of others to help promote my music. I’m still trying to find the balance of adequate promotion without feeling like I’m talking too much about myself or appearing self-absorbed. And it’s hard! But the weird thing is that two days ago, some random YouTube channel with something like 35,000 subscribers who enjoy lo-fi music uploaded Fondly (possibly illegally and definitely without my permission) and I can’t even be mad because they’re helping me reach a MUCH wider audience that I could have reached on my own.
Q: It bums me out that I’ve noticed there’s still usually a lot more men than women at indie shows, etc. Is this something you’ve also experienced? Do you consciously feel a drive to help change that scenario?
A: I agree that shows are probably more male than anything else, but before I notice the gender imbalance, I notice how white the shows are. I am a fan of more female artists than male for the most part, which is empowering, but more often than not, white artists are the ones being lauded for their musicianship. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that! But I do struggle with feeling welcome in indie music for being brown and then for being female. I don’t consciously feel a drive to change that situation, but I know that existing and being visible can at the very least contribute to an ongoing conversation.
Q: Do you play live shows at all? If so, do you have any plans of touring in the near future?
A: NAH. I’ve never played a live show as Depressica, but one day I’d like to. Grad school has me extremely busy! I’m actually mostly afraid of playing shows and I’m afraid that no one would take me seriously (a silly fear, I know), but I also don’t have a band. I’m sure having a band would remedy or at least quell that fear.
Q: Is music a tool that helps you cope with rough periods in your life? I know for a lot of people writing provides that sort of emotional release, so is that something you relate to?
A: I can’t say I actively seek to write when I’m in times of trouble, but I do tend to write more when I am feeling a negative tension. It does feel better in the end because I know that the act of writing and the process of recording is constructive and it feels good to put my energy into something that people can enjoy or relate to.
Q: What are your plans for the future of Depressica?
A: Right now, I’m hoping to fall into another writing kick! There are a lot of exciting things happening around me and all I can really hope for is a spurt of creativity to help channel my feelings into some type of song. I’m also trying to muster up the courage to play live one day, but right now I am laying very very low.
Be sure to follow Depressica on Twitter, Instagram, and Soundcloud!
