Wasn't paying attention getting off the subway. Managed to walk into a post.

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@clint-anon
Wasn't paying attention getting off the subway. Managed to walk into a post.
Clint made me stop dead in the middle of rush hour traffic in the city so he could yell out to some guy and ask him what his dog's name was.
This was very important business.
I just tried to drink out of my fancy water bottle, forgetting it was both a straw and a chug capability. I somehow managed to get: water up my nose, down my face, and a small shower. Don't drink water kids.
I was putting away my 17 laundry baskets today and almost killed Lucky. Okay, a mild overexaggeration. But the dresser drawer almost fell on top of him.
If it wasn't bad enough that Clint's always hiding in the vents, now Hulk has started trying to find his hiding spots in the most destructive way possible.
Hey! Leave us alone. We're playing hide and seek.
Walked into the freezer. I did not come out unscathed.
β π³π’π―πΆ πͺπ²π π₯ π’π«π§π¬πΆπ’π‘ π π’π©π’ππ―ππ±π¦π«π€ π ππ―π±π¬π«'π° ππ¦π―π±π₯π‘ππΆ π΄π¦π±π₯ π₯π¦πͺ ππ«π‘ πͺπΆ π£π―π¦π’π«π‘π°. β π’π³π’π« π’π«π§π¬πΆπ’π‘ π€π’π±π±π¦π«π€ π±π¬ ππ’ π±π₯π’ π¬π«π’ π±π¬ π±π²π π¨ π₯π¦πͺ π¦π«π±π¬ ππ’π‘ π΄π₯π’π« π₯π’ πππ°π°π’π‘ π¬π²π± ππ£π±π’π― π π₯ππ©π©π’π«π€π¦π«π€ πͺπ’ π±π¬ π°π₯π¬π±π°.
So that's why I woke up in bed, and not in the vents like last year.
Much like pickle, I will be relishing my birthday. I'll see myself out.
I asked Clint what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted a pizza party. It's like having another kid, I swear.
What's wrong with a pizza party? Or knowing what I want, eh?
Nothing's wrong with it, Cupid. You can have as much pizza as you want on your birthday. Now someone's sounding a little grumpy. You want some chocolate milk and a nap?
You know what, chocolate milk sounds amazing.
Why are kleptomaniacs terrible with puns? They're always taking everything, literally.
Do they sale away with it?
I asked Clint what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted a pizza party. It's like having another kid, I swear.
What's wrong with a pizza party? Or knowing what I want, eh?
Just face planted off the bus. Hope that's not an omen for my day.
You'll never believe my luck. I got a splinter on one of our kitchen spin arounds.
Just managed to trip on the anti-trip portion of the train platform.
You know what? I really can't believe that, I'm stealing a nickname here, freezer burn was able to be elected to office. Like y'all know he's ancient, right?
βπ± π₯ππ° π¬π π π²π―π―π’π‘ π±π¬ πͺπ’ π₯π¬π΄ πͺππ«πΆ π±ππ±π±π¬π¬π° β'πͺ π€π¬π¦π«π€ π±π¬ π₯ππ³π’ π¦π£ β ΖΧΧ Φπ’π’π πͺπΖΧΧ Φπ¦π«π€ π£π―π¦π’π«π‘π° π΄π¦π±π₯ ππ¦π‘π€ππ―π‘π¦ππ«π° ππ«π‘ ππ‘π‘π¦π«π€ π±π₯π’π¦π― π«ππͺπ’π° π±π¬ πͺπΆ π°ΖΧΧ Φπ¦π« π΄π₯π’π« π±π₯π’πΆ πππ°π°. ππ¬π² ππ¦π‘π€ππ―π‘π¦ππ«π° ππ―π’ π§π²π°π± π±π¬π¬ π£π―ππ€π¦π©π’.
Hey Buddy, we're *lucky* if we make it to 80 years.